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Old 05-14-2019, 04:03 PM   #1
Zaddy
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Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 1,623
Battle Record: 6-10


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- What's That?! A Cypher!

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Default NBL LEAGUE SUMMARY MAG: YOU CALLED MY VERSE WACK?! IM LEAVING! / YOU KILLED TEXT

NBL Week 4 Mag: “He Called My Bar Wack?! IM LEAVING!” / YOU KILLED TEXT













Introduction



Oh.....we have a visitor? Someone’s here? Yes! Ok ok let’s do it, let’s make this one great! Hey, maybe if we be really nice to everyone and call their trash lines dope and their decent lines godly, they might feel better about themselves and come back to battle week after week! Wait...are you saying we should lie to the people? You mean....like how they lie to Barcotic on RB and tell him his demonic wordplays are HoF material?.......well.....yes......why do you think RB has lasted this long?.....it wasn’t because the battles were oh so super dope.....definitely wasn’t to read cringey gay jokes where the jokes themselves were gay af......so what was it z? It’s because they are all so nice to each other. It’s because they have this unsaid agreement and unsaid bond that they’ll allllllll rate each other’s lines too high....”Unda lay?”....that’s fuckin terrible!.......but on RB....holy hell thats brilliant, stunning, superb, dopest line ever!....but I don’t want to lie to the people man.....you must....but....YOU MUST!


So the trick to making a text league work in 2019 where people don’t sign out because they lost, or sign out because they got called wack, is to just be nice to each other, and lie. It is what it is z, you have to sugar coat things from now on. No more constructive criticism whether it be harsh and realistic, or subtle and fruitful. Nope. Sugar coating on EVERYTHING. So Barcotic is dope? Yes. Lay Doubt is a legend? Yes. Real Spit actually beat Cashius week 1 but we were all too busy hating? Yes. Josh s got robbed against Suth last week? Yes. Well damn, those are a whole lot of lies but hey, gotta do what ya gotta do!


THANKS FOR KILLING TEXT!

Welcome to the Week 4 mag of the Netcees Bitter League!





Week 1 Reviews


Suthaveli (1-1) vs. josh s (1-1)

Amazing battle here! Daunting! Both had superbly dope punchlines with some of the best wordplay known to man, and some of the hottest gunbars ever posted on forums. Gosh man it’s really hard to pick a winner here, I mean....the votes were super close at 5-2 leaning Suthaveli’s way but hey that’s a robbery! Josh s lost this one but I’m gonna fight anyone who calls his punches wack, don’t you fuckin dare! He wrote some of the best quality material we’ve ever seen, let’s be real, Ade Due Damballa? That shit was bonkers! He single handedly turned the African dialect into a wordplay punchline and slaughtered his opponent. But wait we can’t forget the mock aveli line!!! What’s that?! Not a word but hey it doesn’t fuckin matter that shit was top notch!!! Sorry suth idk how you won against all this fire but you somehow did man, fuck you.

Sinacog (1-0) vs. Wanderer (1-0)

Wanderer dropped such a good dope nice verse omfg!!!!!! Idk how sinagog robbed this man but he needs to pay. How could you all actually vote for sin here? That’s Creasy. What about wanderers watchmaker bar?! It was insanse!!!!!! Man idk man you all need to really revalue life if you gonna sit up here and say he lost. Get real.


Allen Knight (2-0) vs. Jabari Black (2-0)

JULIOOOOOOO!!!OOOOOOOO!!!!!! JULIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Jajajaja dope verse man we really got em this time with the Julio cheese. Aside from that, everyone everything in the this battle was apsultely dope. Gotta be real the opener and second line we’re Allen’s beaters here. Gotta keep it up fellas, dope shit. Charlottes web was lotb but hey man everything from Allen was still dope.

SIG (2-0) vs. BodySnatcher (2-0)

THIS MOTHERFUCKER DIA WON?!?!?! GTFOOOHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

VERSE OF
THE CENTURY!




Quote:
Originally Posted by josh s
"Cuz I pack a gauge, fam that'll splat ya brains. BLAM!"

Ade due Damballa. Give the power, I beg of you. This is a sinner’s hobby
Standing over Suth talking shit like Chucky right before I catch a bigger body
u wont blam a damn thing. Boy I’m str8 fooling with da fisticuffs
bet I spook his scary ass, bam boos’ll be coming from my hands when I stick him up
u really livin' ur dream, huh?.... nah, you acting out a cinema scene
even with da hawk I make u catch these hands; black panther, "GIVE IT TO ME!!"
u hardly slap, u got jabari black'd, stfu blam f4got u force da most puns
no moving weights? posin' dope guns? ur more of a bull key poser than Orc and Ghost1
why you got a stick up yo ass, suth? we all gotta read yo shit and is THAT fair?
I will Luiseville slugger this ass hole and give a whole new meaning to bat chair!
u aint got the juice so u knocked black out, stretched hands for the outlet, pass..
NAHHH, u aint got the juice so u knocked Black, outstretched hands for the outlet pass
sunday - monday , i'll show up at ya crib in Baltimore just to see if u street tough
then i'll mock aveli with the kind of seven day theory that'll really fuck his week up
i'm for sure cocky, maybe i didn't do enough but the heads I chopped got more sloppy
oh my god he didn't expect this big a round but as it turns out he's getting Thor Bodied
WHAT A WORDSMITH!!! But wait slowwwwww it down

He said:

Ada Due Damballa (YOU GET IT?! LIKE CHUCKY SAYS!)

Add a Dude, them ballers


Week 2 Predictions




veritas (1-2) vs. Barcotic (0-0)

Barcotic is a super dope legend with the worlds most astounding wordplays the universe has ever seen. Everything he drops is legit af and makes the crowd go wild. I don’t think Barc has actually ever lost a battle for real for real. Sure he’s technically lost due to votes but that’s 100% hate votes and dickriding against him. Barcotic is the only person on this earth that will never actually lose a battle. He’s too good. He’s perfect. My little barcy, my little barcy, myyyyyyyyyyyy. Batteries not included. Veritas is a legend as well but will never defeat the worlds greatest, Barcotic.


BodySnatcher (2-1) vs. Wanderer (1-1)

BodySnatcher is a goat, Wanderer is a dope ass kotherycker. Not sure what to expect here but man Wanderer is so dope.

SIG (3-0) vs. Cred (2-1)

Cred is amazing!!!!!.......BUT DIA IS EVEN DOPER. FUCKIN AMAZING GODLY LEGEND MAN!!!!!

Outro



Suck a dick @Sharp @ORC @sraL @Dia blow @Flow


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