Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Forum > Open Mic Section

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-05-2020, 01:25 AM   #1
big baby
obsessed
 
big baby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1

Accomplishments
- can recite entirety of shrek 2

Champed
- tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek

Rep Power: 8599679
big baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant futurebig baby has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to big baby
Default bondage

inept, and upset, it’s like nothing is mentioned.
lifes a run on sentence, interconnecting.
eclectic, electric, im a plug in the wall.
a bit so perplexive. spotting the occult in the psalms.
the rejection. a song in the hall of this crazy asylum
straitjacket is off, and i still feel like i’m
binded
abstaining. no hiding. not restrained or assigned
what’s a goon to a goblin, what’s 12 noon to this bondage?
loudspeakers.
shouts weaken as i interrupt the connection.
been seasons since I slept at the suns’ dusky consent
grayscale cuts. as lovely as ever
It’s only fear if we love to project it
i’ve learned to accept it, in a functional sense
inflections infecting, so fucking intense
influx of attention. but none to respect
found you by looking at your pendant glow in the dark on your neck
defunct. so abrupt, you can barely hear it
footsteps like eruptions, each thud becomes searing
unbarring. unnerving, like mummies in pyramids
we test love like currents, to conduct an experiment
shave off two bucks antlers, make my lovers potion in dye
appearing like, serum – you took most of in stride
the locust. conniving, always close to
my spine
blowing smog in my airways like covid arrived
halo spinning on her devil horns, soaking in pride.
denoting my time, with absolutely no focus adhered
from shifting gears in a war, now the coast has been cleared
she rode clean on her own horse, barefooted and gorgeous
you read me through your code words; without feeling remorse
like a fleeting emotion that cleaves through divorce
march to the beat of your own drums. cheeks are like porcelain
strawberry-stained bleeding disorder. heart beating endorphins
one weekend in greece, white villa is all that we need
cherry stem in her teeth. counting twenty sheeplings to sleep
plagued by beehives and wasps, in a treetop that’s neither streamlined nor warped
no te preocupas mi amor-
in the morning they’ll be more breezy seaside to waft
sea salt aroma, as sweet as its strong
no siege of despondence, no seething dissolving
just me, being charming, meeting you with resolve
so gather the sky clouds, chain the puzzle piece to my heart
my chéri amor, don’t wait till this dies down
permanent spring, summer breeze, no winter allowed
went from counting to three to running out of fingers to count
__________________
precision defender
Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
big baby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2020, 02:20 AM   #2
El Muffin
DOHpe since 02'
 
El Muffin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Surrounded by white ppl
Posts: 14,693
Battle Record: 43-24


Champed
- Netcees Battle League
- 1-2 Punch Onslaught
- 1-2 Punch League
- Hot or Thot Roast
- Hot or Thot 2018
- Fight Night 11
- NPL Roast

Rep Power: 34230532
El Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant futureEl Muffin has a brilliant future
Default

fuck you bb
El Muffin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2020, 05:17 AM   #3
Geno
White Earl
 
Geno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Philly Cat.
Posts: 12,330
Battle Record: 10-15

Accomplishments
- Open Mic HOF (4x)

Champed
- Netcees Writers League
- Write Week I
- Write Week 8

Rep Power: 50036758
Geno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant futureGeno has a brilliant future
Send a message via AIM to Geno
Default

Pretty amazing.
__________________
-A.bove T.he R.est
Geno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2020, 09:47 AM   #4
veritas
HALL OF FAME
 
veritas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,171
Battle Record: 3-5



Rep Power: 0
veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas veritas
Default

I have always and can always maintain that any disagreements our personalities may have conflicted in, was never about your talent. I dug these musings, the way you casually make the idea of a coherent universe seem impossible from sort of casually tossing out riddles and paradoxes created by language and your hidden despair. I would bump this if it was a .mp3. The occult in psalms was a great concept and you took me to the Greece act in the final in my minds eye. Thanks bro. I’m inspired.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Consensus
The cerebral assassin, the molder of minds, the Omni potent being. Time transcending traveler, wisdom incarnate. Veritas needs no intro but I guess I have to. He’s not know in the battling world but who doesn’t know veritas? The guy us always original and if you pay attention to his bars, dude brings the heat.. The gawd.
veritas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2020, 10:22 AM   #5
Johnny 6 feet
Storyteller
 
Johnny 6 feet's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 446
Battle Record: 8-4


Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League

Rep Power: 5558444
Johnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant futureJohnny 6 feet has a brilliant future
Default

A lot of interesting imagery being thrown about here:

"the rejection. a song in the hall of this crazy asylum
straitjacket is off, and i still feel like i’m
binded"

"unbarring. unnerving, like mummies in pyramids
we test love like currents, to conduct an experiment"

"permanent spring, summer breeze, no winter allowed
went from counting to three to running out of fingers to count"

Interesting pictures for sure, but as a whole it could be viewed as a series of non-sequiturs. Still interesting to read, rhyme scheme and general pacing was good. Maybe a little overlong. Original? Definitely. A stand apart from the standard topics I see in OM's.

Keep posting.

-6
Johnny 6 feet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-05-2020, 12:30 PM   #6
dead man
living
 
dead man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,468
Battle Record: 33-18

Accomplishments
- Hall of Fame

Champed
- AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1

Rep Power: 77606676
dead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant futuredead man has a brilliant future
Default

hey

bookmarked this, for what its worth
__________________
Zack Wicks for president
dead man is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2020, 07:08 PM   #7
Exis
............
 
Exis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,938
Battle Record: 3-3



Rep Power: 0
Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis Exis
Default

Your first 10 lines are just raw as fuck! I stopped readin' then.
Exis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2020, 07:36 PM   #8
Inno
Ad mini tator
 
Inno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

Rep Power: 85899400
Inno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond reputeInno has a reputation beyond repute
Default

its a good thing when bb posts OM's
Inno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2020, 09:27 PM   #9
Artifice
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 269
Battle Record: 17-9


Champed
- Art Of Writing League
- GWL Picture Challenge

Rep Power: 3944946
Artifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant futureArtifice has a brilliant future
Default

thoroughly enjoyed. started off fire, and ended solid. Your pieces have this abstract quality that makes re-reads so enjoyable, not everybody's pieces can do that. And often a piece that needs to be re-read over and over to figure out isn't great, but that's not the case with yours. Your pieces are just so woven with symbolism and are so playful with language that there's always something new to uncover.

You, dead man and Cimmerian are three writers that I find myself constantly looking back at with a mixture of joy and envy.
Artifice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2020, 12:11 PM   #10
Universe
Everything's Connected
 
Universe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Niagara Falls, Canada
Posts: 999
Battle Record: 19-8


Champed
- Guerrilla Writing League(2x)
- GWL Picture challenge(2x)
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 10178702
Universe has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant futureUniverse has a brilliant future
Default

"you read me through your code words; without feeling remorse
like a fleeting emotion that cleaves through divorce"


Loved this line. Great piece overall, enjoyed it.
__________________
..Passed the Present and Future..
Universe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-09-2020, 01:50 PM   #11
emurgencee
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 91




Rep Power: 0
emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee emurgencee
Default

God knows you went in on this, I loved everything about it. It read smoothly, the metaphors were dope. Great word usage and imagery. This shit was dope.
emurgencee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-11-2020, 09:10 PM   #12
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
Certain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,072
Battle Record: 40-19


Champed
- AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)

Rep Power: 85899403
Certain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond repute
Default

This is so fucking good.
__________________
I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
Certain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2020, 02:05 AM   #13
Pharaohs Army
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14



Rep Power: 0
Pharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant future
Default

you got Certain to come out of hiding so it must be good
Pharaohs Army is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2020, 10:29 PM   #14
Pharaohs Army
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,962
Battle Record: 6 - 14



Rep Power: 0
Pharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant futurePharaohs Army has a brilliant future
Default

This is vintage Big Baby.

Top notch content through the first 3/4.

Showed this to my friend who is a songwriter and rock musician.

He said it should end at "my spine"

Because the Greece trip seems to be something only the writer understands.

I don't know if I agree or not.

Because I liked most of this.

eclectic, electric, im a plug in the wall.
a bit so perplexive. spotting the occult in the psalms.

So dope.

This whole thing should be getting more attention so I'm upping it with this critique.

Keep posting BB. We all eagerly await your next.

Thanks
Pharaohs Army is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2023, 01:58 AM   #15
dyedinthewool
green eggs and damn
 
dyedinthewool's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
Posts: 786
Battle Record: 1-4



Rep Power: 18308778
dyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant futuredyedinthewool has a brilliant future
Default

This is lovely, big baby.
dyedinthewool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2023, 06:22 PM   #16
Witty
Lime Life
 
Witty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,810
Battle Record: 30-41

Accomplishments
- Only Slightly Retarded

Champed
- Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic

Rep Power: 82986458
Witty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant future
Default

Incredibly good. One of the best I've read from you, and that's saying something.

There are maybe a handful of writers here who could create something like this. It was a pleasure to read this.
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

Witty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2023, 04:05 AM   #17
Dominate
Tread Lightly.
 
Dominate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,312
Battle Record: 26-9


Champed
- Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
- Tag Team Tournament III
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"

Rep Power: 18197456
Dominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant futureDominate has a brilliant future
Default

Yeah this is excellent.

I miss this era of netcees.
__________________
The Bad Guys
Dominate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2023, 04:55 PM   #18
Witty
Lime Life
 
Witty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,810
Battle Record: 30-41

Accomplishments
- Only Slightly Retarded

Champed
- Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic

Rep Power: 82986458
Witty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant futureWitty has a brilliant future
Default

I just noticed this is 3 years old.

You're an even bigger bb now.

I have read this 5 times in the last week. People will tell you this is great and most of them won't fully appreciate how great this really is. I'm a pretty fucking great writer, I have written some pretty fucking great verses. I have never written anything as good as this.

I said a handful of people here are capable of this. I'll name them. Dead man, Vulgar, Zen (who created masterpieces for fun) and Pancakebrah. That's esteemed company which you very much belong in. This was one of the best verses I have read in almost 2 decades on these boards.
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

Witty is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:48 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+