08-30-2019, 10:56 PM | #1 |
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Take a deep breath
I dont care if it takes the whole weekend or maybe the four seasons
But I'm back for the thrown, and I ain't playin man with this zone defense So imma break your soul..squeezin, til there ain't no mo' breathin Take ur moms gun...and put 'her piece' in ur mouth and stop your canker sore healin There ain't novices, but listen up scout, just know you cant honor this I'll flip em the bird, I pinky swear, but on the other hand, I break promises Tryin to say I'm a breath of fresh air then call me trash under your breath But in the same breath u can't even take my breath away with some of your text So take a breather and save your breath if wanna keep your ounce of respect Choke you with no breathing room, literally catch your breath while im breathing down your neck Last edited by HollaFrontOG; 08-30-2019 at 11:22 PM. |
08-31-2019, 03:51 AM | #2 |
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This was dope.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
09-01-2019, 10:12 AM | #3 |
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Thanks. Appreciate the feed.
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09-02-2019, 03:19 AM | #4 |
............
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Thought the first 4 bars were raw fam, the other lines are just nice bro...Kudos.
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09-04-2019, 09:37 PM | #5 |
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Thanks, appreciate it
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09-09-2019, 02:22 AM | #6 |
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8 mentions of breath or breathing in the last four lines kind of ruined what you had started
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09-10-2019, 09:52 PM | #7 |
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Thanks. But it was a jab at someone who tried to call my work trash but then say I'm a breath of fresh air here...so it was based off facts...not just some random stuff I came up with...but thanks anyway
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09-11-2019, 08:54 AM | #8 |
Lime Life
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Name names.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
09-11-2019, 10:35 AM | #9 |
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It's in one of my other pieces I dropped. I guess I can go look for the quote later
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09-14-2019, 10:56 AM | #10 |
Mic Check
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I mean nothing wrong with this but was a little boring to me. Obviously this was a battle type verse which isn't my cup of tea but I just didn't find it very inventive. Rhyming wise it was solid, no hiccups, read smooth. Breathing stuff at the end felt forced. Potential here for sure, stay up
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My syllable count approximately a billion, bounce. You cannot compete. |
09-15-2019, 06:08 PM | #11 | ||
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i thought this was weak tbh...
Quote:
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