04-09-2014, 04:38 AM | #21 |
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 8,904
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Paradigm.
liked your closer and the Neigh Palm line. promethazine was a cool word I think you needed to cut some words here and there, it read a little clunky especially when compared side to side with Neighbor and Vulgar. Dont think ive ever seen you write, but you should more often. Your style isnt derivative of Neighbors but still has cool flex aspects as well as relatively strong (but rusty) battle backgrounds. At no place in your verse did I think "damn this dude came into his own" but I also didnt think "this dude cant hang." I think it was mostly just roughness around the edges coupled with no lines having that, damn that was fire af, feel. Except for the Neigh Palm one, which was executed near perfect-- but didnt have a lot of oompf to it conceptually. Neighbor. You have some of the best schemes on the site. Definitely the best ability for writing schemes. Concepts were cool but rather anticlimactic, you should fuck with your angles more... I get its a flex, but sometimes it feels like youre saying cool shit just to say cool shit. like Always Sunny Mac's karate vs some thug dude beating the shit out of someone. nothing wrong with the verse, or your writing. It went hard. But it didnt integrate well with the other two verses or have much more than pure aesthetic appeal. Idk how to describe it. Like unbridled raw talent can't equate to a talented writer with focus. IM A SHITTY INTERNET POET IGNORE ME. Vulgar. the last six lines were UNREAL. the cinderblock line yo. damn. collab soon. I must train. Throughout great delivery and great rhyme construction, very polished and very tongue-in-cheek. I wish I understood history more. Good job of working with the collabros on board as always. v cohpe line was jaw-dropping but also a good instance of how sometimes your descriptions are austere because theyre so abstract, surreal, cerebral. Dope collab. everything came together nicely. one of the best flexes put together in the OM in a long time. wish Neigh wasnt so awkwardly the highlight and there was a bit more banter. good read, no need to RTF
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04-10-2014, 08:38 PM | #22 |
SYRACUSE
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This whole shit is quotable. As far as flex pieces this is my fav that I've read. Good shit, would feed more but phone feed. I salute this holy triumvirate w holy water
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11-03-2022, 05:35 AM | #23 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
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Apotheosis
Panacea |
11-04-2022, 02:03 AM | #24 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
Rep Power: 8129212 |
A fish's ascension
Where the grass is greener Titan of Tarsis The serpentine The Hebrew song Paradise pt 1 Vs Eminem Infinite It's ok 313 Tonite Open mic Biterphobia |
11-04-2022, 02:06 AM | #25 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
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Battle Record: 4-25
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A fish's ascension
Where the grass is greener Straight jacket pt 1 Strai g t jacket pt 2 Lyrics only There |
12-04-2022, 10:49 PM | #26 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
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A Fish's Ascension
Where the grass is greener The Titan of Tarsis vs. GROUP THERAPY SESSION BUDHAPEST SIBERIA |
12-04-2022, 10:54 PM | #27 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
Rep Power: 8129212 |
A Fish's Ascension
Where the grass is greener vs. GROUP THERAPY SESSION BUDHAPEST SIBERIA |
12-04-2022, 11:03 PM | #28 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 428
Rep Power: 2172673 |
Degree in chemistry; mix hydrocloric brews; Agent Orange and Blue
Watching Neigh Palm weapons big enough to turn the whole Vietnam forest floor a fluorescent hue you where sooo close to nailing this, damn! i see it, the Movie you're talking about, the wordplay, ohhh, so close, ahh whatever, dope |
12-04-2022, 11:12 PM | #29 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
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shut up, cunt. you're nothing
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12-04-2022, 11:35 PM | #30 |
Senior Member
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Posts: 428
Rep Power: 2172673 |
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12-05-2022, 01:28 AM | #31 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
Rep Power: 8129212 |
this is good
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12-06-2022, 10:46 PM | #32 |
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 77
Battle Record: 1-2
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This whole shit was fire. I havent been around recently long enough to know whos who without reading the comments. But this shit is one of the hardest OMs ive read in a minute. All of yall came with your own styles and the went together perfectly.
First verse, that long bar style is something ive never been able to master. But you do it perfectly, without trying to rhyme OD like i wouldve done lmao. Your wording and imagery is what kept it so dope. You did ya thing here and it perfectly clashed with the more aggressive rhyming style of the next verse that came in. Second verse, you came a little more aggressive rhyming wise but still with the long bar style and that shit is always hard. Your wording and creativity really made this what it is. Fire rhyme schemes, almost thought you were gonna stick with the same rhyme scheme through the whole verse. Nothing wrong with not doing that though it added some more flavor to it. You did ya thang here fr dawg 3rd verse, you came in even MORE rhyme aggressive with a little more advanced vocab and stopped the long bar style. Them rhyme schemes was CRAZY. That whole Aretha franklin section was FIRE. Same with the second verse i thought you was gon keep going with that scheme till you didnt lmao. Regardless this verse was too hard. Probably my favorite of the three, With all respects to the first 2. You did ya thing on this shit from beginning to end. Fire shit from all 3. Keep doin what yall do i cant wait to read more from yall. |
01-08-2023, 01:37 PM | #33 |
Satan
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 2,093
Battle Record: 4-25
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Honestly, this is the best shit in history or something./.wtf what in the acual fuck..
THE VERSE VERSE WAS GREAT \ the 2nd verse was bonkers the 3rd verse was EXCELLENT.. GOOD JOB GUYS!! |
04-16-2023, 04:21 PM | #34 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
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I would be honored. To try.
@Sinacog should I? Did 1 take: much as I love Paradigm & Neighbor, Vulgar's closer here is just... the forbidden candy perhaps. I'm sick of my own voice of course. I could soup it up using emcee squared's personality (same voice but better timing). |
04-21-2023, 05:23 PM | #35 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 430
Rep Power: 0 |
up classic
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aero is successful in life, doodoo butter sculpture, dope. -v, dope. viv |
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