08-03-2014, 12:32 AM | #1 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,072
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899402 |
Torture papers. (By trap, Certain and Lars.)
an unstoppable force captured the essence of my being
so i chartered a course & masked the questions that were reeling in my thought process, released my heart in jest expressed the need to exceed past the dark arch-es on a torn parchment, my own blood on the quill i wrote immense rage on the pages still my love ran still named them the torture papers for its obvious reason deranged in the brain for the remaining season battled tremendous odds, yet maintained the same even shows the length i would go to withstand demands of treason I'm not an obvious sort. Cobbled together half-heartedly some thoughts from assorted sordid cartographies of this map through your arteries. I'm trying in vain. Lying, deranged but finally, unsightly we gain something more worthwhile than fighting again. And it isn't worth waiting nine months for life to begin. I want to feel everything. I've never healed. My wounds are just the first part of my black hole of a soul that'll keep you consumed. I'm done. There's nothing left in this shell of a person. The sun won't rise until my pride has settled for certain. My ever-so-perfect imperfections make up who I am as well as confirming my ascendance to becoming a man. When one can look at their past and not gloss over mistakes as something that saddens them, but of the progress they've made. No-one's to blame. Life's morbidly short. The road that you've taken was yours to explore. So cause a furore every once in a while, ignoring conformity. Wake up with a smile. Do something your wildest dreams couldn’t imagine, - interrupting the silence and disrupting the balance. |
08-03-2014, 11:27 AM | #2 | |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
Quote:
I liked it all. I want to certain vs lars battle. Reason being is because certain is fundamental, and lars thinks he is. But he is, but he thinks hes super fundamental. PLus he's pretty good, would be a good battle, since certain takes different routes, and lars takes a seemingly decent one most of the time. |
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08-04-2014, 03:09 AM | #3 |
βгοкε ㄴεςηαг
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,245
Battle Record: 9-4
Champed - 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12760960 |
Dope.
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08-04-2014, 08:18 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: BITER
Posts: 138
Battle Record: BITER
Rep Power: 0 |
Dope drop dude, it really escalated to another level,
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08-04-2014, 03:19 PM | #5 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
DOPE
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08-04-2014, 03:59 PM | #6 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,784
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 82986458 |
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
08-04-2014, 04:53 PM | #7 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
i'm only here while our boards down for maintenance
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08-04-2014, 05:39 PM | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: KCMO.
Posts: 377
Rep Power: 14025263 |
Awesome. Thanks for the tag.
__________________
triplet syllables for minimal criminals.
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08-05-2014, 03:23 PM | #9 |
rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,145
Rep Power: 0 |
was this in the order of the names in the title? i actually thought otherwise, at first, but assume it was. solid efforts all around. clean and concise wording with the last two liking to run on their lines. it read pretty inoffensively. if i picked something i disliked in each it'd be: the 'arch-es' wording, black hole line and placement of the word for furore - which is just a gay word (i'm sure i'm guilty of the same but w.e.). in the interest of balance: the first verse probably shouldn't have kept the same scheme. the language was airy but did its job in communicating mood to the reader - the odds/same even line was dope. the second verse was smooth, as fuck, bar one line i didn't like. i thought the nine months bit was excellent. the last had a didactic vibe i often attribute to the writer. if the first seemed to affect a poetic tone, the second genuinely introspective, the third feels a touch preachy. i don't mind it. as the overall moral is one that resonates - i like the last couplet particularly.
good showing, fellas. |
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