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Old 08-03-2014, 12:32 AM   #1
Certain
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Default Torture papers. (By trap, Certain and Lars.)

an unstoppable force captured the essence of my being
so i chartered a course & masked the questions that were reeling
in my thought process, released my heart in jest
expressed the need to exceed past the dark arch-es
on a torn parchment, my own blood on the quill
i wrote immense rage on the pages still my love ran still
named them the torture papers for its obvious reason
deranged in the brain for the remaining season
battled tremendous odds, yet maintained the same even
shows the length i would go to withstand demands of treason

I'm not an obvious sort. Cobbled together half-heartedly
some thoughts from assorted sordid cartographies
of this map through your arteries. I'm trying in vain.
Lying, deranged but finally, unsightly we gain
something more worthwhile than fighting again.
And it isn't worth waiting nine months for life to begin.
I want to feel everything. I've never healed. My wounds
are just the first part of my black hole of a soul that'll keep you consumed.
I'm done. There's nothing left in this shell of a person.
The sun won't rise until my pride has settled for certain.

My ever-so-perfect imperfections make up who I am
as well as confirming my ascendance to becoming a man.
When one can look at their past and not gloss over mistakes
as something that saddens them,
but of the progress they've made.
No-one's to blame. Life's morbidly short.
The road that you've taken was yours to explore.
So cause a furore every once in a while,
ignoring conformity. Wake up with a smile.
Do something your wildest dreams couldn’t imagine,
- interrupting the silence and disrupting the balance.
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Old 08-03-2014, 11:27 AM   #2
big baby
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Certain View Post
I'm not even sure Lars can see this site. However, I will return any and all feedback.
oh yeh?


I liked it all. I want to certain vs lars battle. Reason being is because certain is fundamental, and lars thinks he is. But he is, but he thinks hes super fundamental. PLus he's pretty good, would be a good battle, since certain takes different routes, and lars takes a seemingly decent one most of the time.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greed View Post
If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 08-04-2014, 03:09 AM   #3
BROKE LESNAR
βгοкε ㄴεςηαг
 
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Dope.
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Old 08-04-2014, 08:18 AM   #4
gitto138
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Dope drop dude, it really escalated to another level,
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Old 08-04-2014, 03:19 PM   #5
sral
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DOPE
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Old 08-04-2014, 03:59 PM   #6
Witty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sraL View Post
DOPE
Lol I wonder who this could be.

Dope piece bros.
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Old 08-04-2014, 04:53 PM   #7
sral
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i'm only here while our boards down for maintenance
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Old 08-04-2014, 05:39 PM   #8
trap
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Awesome. Thanks for the tag.
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Old 08-05-2014, 03:23 PM   #9
Eŋg
rhyme capsule.
 
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Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg Eŋg
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was this in the order of the names in the title? i actually thought otherwise, at first, but assume it was. solid efforts all around. clean and concise wording with the last two liking to run on their lines. it read pretty inoffensively. if i picked something i disliked in each it'd be: the 'arch-es' wording, black hole line and placement of the word for furore - which is just a gay word (i'm sure i'm guilty of the same but w.e.). in the interest of balance: the first verse probably shouldn't have kept the same scheme. the language was airy but did its job in communicating mood to the reader - the odds/same even line was dope. the second verse was smooth, as fuck, bar one line i didn't like. i thought the nine months bit was excellent. the last had a didactic vibe i often attribute to the writer. if the first seemed to affect a poetic tone, the second genuinely introspective, the third feels a touch preachy. i don't mind it. as the overall moral is one that resonates - i like the last couplet particularly.

good showing, fellas.
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