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Old 10-01-2018, 08:40 PM   #1
Inno
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Default Pancakebrah vs Innovator[CAKE WINS]

NWL:Season I: Week III



Verses ares due: FRIDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30

Voting on 2 battles is required.



TOPIC:

THIS WEEK IS HAIKU GUNBAR WEEK PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW WHAT A HAIKU IS. ITS A JAPANESE FORM OF POETRY CONSISTING OF 17 TOTAL SYLLABLES.FIRST LINE IS 5, SECOND LINE IS 7 AND LAST LINE IS 5. SINCE ITS ONLY 3 LINES, THIS WEEK YOU HAVE WRITE 3 SEPARATE GUNBAR HAIKUS, SO A TOTAL OF 9 LINES. PRETTY EASY. VOTING WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE MAG.

GOODLUCK.


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Old 10-01-2018, 08:49 PM   #2
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I've got so many gun bars.
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:58 PM   #3
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Let’s make it a Good one cake
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Old 10-05-2018, 10:48 PM   #4
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The shotty liberal.
Long winded when it's triggered
a college student

Student of the game
It'll take advantage quick
Aiming head down will

create an assault
Mix your upstairs with downstairs
Missus Blasey Ford
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Old 10-05-2018, 11:58 PM   #5
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Pull triggers heavy
The lead weighs them down with ease
6 feet bedsheets, sleep.

Put rounds to yah head
Riddle shots to your conscience
Scars burned memories

Bullets stck to bone
The calibers saturate:
A soul melting heat.
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Old 10-06-2018, 02:09 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post

The shotty liberal.
Long winded when it's triggered
a college student

This was cool

Student of the game
It'll take advantage quick
Aiming head down will

Aight not seeing big gun bar influence on this one

create an assault
Mix your upstairs with downstairs
Missus Blasey Ford

Cool
Quote:
Originally Posted by Innovator View Post

Pull triggers heavy
The lead weighs them down with ease
6 feet bedsheets, sleep.

Cool

Put rounds to yah head
Riddle shots to your conscience
Scars burned memories

I dig this

Bullets stck to bone
The calibers saturate:
A soul melting heat.

Cool
I'm leaning more Innovator on this one

All three of his were more relevant to the topic imo while still being creative

If Pancake had a couple more like his 1st haiku it would've been a lil closer of a battle

2nd was cool & 3rd was dope just didn't have much to do w/ guns

Also I was gonna say your first line in your first haiku was 6 syllables but I can see how it would go both ways when it's said
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Old 10-07-2018, 07:38 PM   #7
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Pancake: long winded when it’s triggered tied into college student was a dope beginniner. Student of the game was good but I wasn’t really feeling aim head down part. But it did tie into Missus Blasely Ford smoothly. Dope line.

Vs

Innovator: first couple of syllables were a bit basic but I liked 6 feet bedsheets, sleep. I didn’t like scars burned memories. Thought u coulda done more with this. Calibers saturate was fire

Overall: really close here, I got pancake tho by a hair
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Old 10-07-2018, 10:36 PM   #8
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Could go either way, I think (I don't know how this league works) but I edge to cake because the wordplay, which I consider to be a large part of gunbars, was strongest in his first haiku (and the Ford concept, which would work in a regular battle). Small deciding factor for me, but cool battle

V/pancake
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Old 10-08-2018, 02:26 AM   #9
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Cake: Shotty is two syllable you limey fuk. Solid couplet though. While it was fluid completely, you neither punched in a dissing sense, nor rhymed multiple layers. I see the college,trigger,liberal etc. concepts. good shit overall

V8R: All haikus fit criteria. Saludé. Fairly vivid and raw honestly. I like it. Felt like a flex/diss/spit in your face type shit.

While cake was more witty with it, Ino was more disrespectful in a sense, which I enjoyed.


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Old 10-08-2018, 08:05 PM   #10
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2-2 @bleak @Knucklehead @anyone can we get a closing vote so we can move on
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Old 10-08-2018, 08:18 PM   #11
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@Cereal drop a vote in here if u can plz
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Old 10-08-2018, 10:16 PM   #12
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I never voted on this type of battle so give me a break.

Pancake:The first 3 lines were really nice. But I think you added a syllable going by the rules of the Haiku. That missus Blasey ford line was pretty dope too. Relevant content and the wording was really on point considering Gunbar topic wise. this was fucking nice.

Inn: I was feeling the six feet deep bedsheets part. i also liked the scars burn memories line. I that that was pretty cool. The melting heat calibers saturate part was nice too.

My Vote: Pancake. It was close but I thought his Haiku was a little bit more creative than Innovators to be honest. But this was pretty cool to vote on. Next time I'll hop in on this type of battle
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Old 10-08-2018, 10:45 PM   #13
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Cake wins
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