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Old 04-30-2015, 11:27 PM   #1
Sharp
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Default Week 4 Mag

Netcees Battle League Season 8

Week 4 Magazine


[Introduction]

What's up NBL? Sharp and Allen here with the mag for the most populated week yet. As week four rolls around we see return of the reigning champ, Cashius facing off against the up and comer jilti, while Muff faces off against Sharp to challenge the victor. Meanwhile, NBL veterans Orc, Junto, Sn00p and Unfukwitable sign in as well as the relatively fresher heads Wanderer and Killing Spree. Between them and the returning competitors we have, this should be a dope week for battles. So without further ado, here's the mag.







[Reviews]

[By Sharp]


Contender Match: Defiant 2-0 vs jilti 2-0
jilti wins by KO
Enjoyable battle, especially for each guy dropping 18 line verses. It came up pretty close, with Defiant taking an early edge with his personal bars that had some good and some played flips but jilti ultimately outlasting with his consistency. Defiant's opener was simple but effective, but as he got away from the personals he got a little harsh. Jilti is pretty formulaic at times and this showed it – by the last few bars you could see the formula there, but they still managed to hit and he goes on to face Cashius in the champ match.


Dr Dog 1-0 vs Sharp 1-0
Sharp wins by KO
Me vs Split is always close. Genuinely thought his opener was slept on... like wording was on enough of another level to straight up go over peoples heads. And Pinewood derby made me lol. Not gonna try to compare my verse to him but voters unanimously went with my verse, which kinda surprised me. Either way it was dope seeing Split bringing a fresh and funny voice into the league.

Amen 1-0 vs Muff 0-0
Muff wins by having his dick sucked
This one was interesting. Amen forced Muff into a keystyle that turned out pretty solid, while Amen had a pretty well put together verse about sucking dick and raising a child with Muff. I actually laughed out loud at his closer. Muff, on the other hand, had a verse with traditional bars and some solid flips I've never seen before. Fun fact: dude was so proud of that private Pyle closer he put it in his signature on RB. The only thing that was missing was being personal and you can't fault him for that since he was up against an alias.

illergicreaxion 0-0 vs makajibbz 0-0
makajibbz wins by noshow
Props to makajibbz for showing. He's got a style that is a lil out of vogue complete with slashes, but he definitely has a concept of how text works which is great to see in a new face.

Mutilate 0-1 vs Witty 0-1
Mutilate wins by noshow
God dammit Witty. Props to Mutilate for showing and posting a 16 line verse, nothing too major but nice wording.






[Top Punches]


jilti vs Defiant

personal trainer w/ iron swords & hatchets, put corpse in caskets
let Defined his family all shredded like they signed up for the total package

Muff vs Amen

youVe got trash ways. Your a clever faggot
ur like a bad safety
Whenever there's a Pass Made..you just let it happen

Dr Dog vs Sharp

i accomplish things. masters research Im actually simmin them ENGINES
Sharp's whip bein bored & stroked speaks more to his subaverage women retention

Sharp vs Dr Dog

srs. When it comes to trash in your drops idk where to begin
You think you drop a Gemini laugh cause it proves I'm the superior twin

Defiant vs jilti

Concepts 8 years old, come on who u tryna kid w/ bars fag
If life is a journey, yours is a time machine to the top 10 punches of a david lama mag

Amen vs Muff

U kno how much I wanna kiss u on the mouth rite now?
NIGGA ..... U know how many shit covered jizz stains are on my couch rite now!?!


... wait what









[Thowback Battle]

Legacy Tourney Finals (2010)
Lefty vs Hush



Lefty

Quote:
you're a broke, chubby aubrey graham. i'm laughin at nonsense
beating this fake Drake's cake. like 75% of your cabinet's contents
imma savage with bomb shit. dude smokes masking he's real scared with raps
so not only does he roll Degrassi's bout to have Jimmy's wheelchair to match
watch his real collapse. in pics youre shredded for sure.
we're not forgetting it whore...
in that 1st rd battle with X-it was clear you were headed for yours
& yup my wife pushed on HER due date. now imma father this lame geek
be thankful...
i pushed OUR due date to prevent having a daughter & sonnin the same week
kid's brains week. im after a win, i'll tap n fracture your chin
n if we take it to the mic, vic you'll get sidelined faster than him
this wetback brings laughter within, fuck shaking his hand
if i'm compared to shady's looking for some after scaping my land
congrats on escaping your fam. you mexicans are silly son
if my memory lapse
i'd still know your gene pool looks like its doing theirs in a filthy one
and fuck ny. i bet your rent's a disgrace, even the Mets are a waste
the 5 boroughs got nothing on yours under that fence to the States

Hush

Quote:
left u dont stand a chance unless I help write when u drop lines
how bout I cut you a break..fill your gastank an then scream lets race to the stop sign
you’re my stan, a txt fan..your not a real man, at best half or worst
n after birth u was logging on making threads before she pushed out the afterbirth
we both doubt the childs yours dog, you’re a whak clown for life
n only time u hitting skins its double click to change the backround on sites
now ya babymomma on facebook bitching u fucking less n typing more
seems only way to get left off..is make a top 10 list of ppl I’m not currently writing for
while u ducking nbl cuz of your seed..scared to take a turn in the league
hoping opponents layoff ya bitch like mcdonalds when she requested maternity leave
this lines a bullet straight to your head..silly white hick lazy inbred
mad u had to use the personal days u saved for ya finals birth on the babys instead
listen you lame fake, the pictures are proof so theres no way u can save face
happy as hell 1 week u beat ALIEN the next ya wife give birth to his namesake
I know you cant stand me, but stand up and be a man for your family
congradulations u got a kid…now stop tryna lure other peoples with candy


Winner: Lefty






[Interview with Cashius]
Current NBL Champion

[Interviewed by Sharp]


I'm here with Cashius, reigning NBL champ from the last season before the server break. Sup bro?

What's up, Split. I'm good. Just started watching Bloodline on Netflix. I'm enjoying it.

Tell us about yourself Cash. Do you have any hobbies? Since you're from Lancaster I imagine you partake in their pastimes, like breathing and sitting on wooden furniture. Or is it just sleep, eat, work and text?

Lol...for me it's eat, sleep, work, and lift. I enjoy lifting things up and putting them down. I watch TV 24/7. I like to play basketball. I'm basically just like Bags...Except I'm muscular, handsome, I enjoy Africans, and I do not have any STD's. I'm really never on here anymore. The only people who came over to this new hell hole just stay in discussion and post about dirt people and read Bags stories about choking Asian midgets.

Tell us your favorite minor character on Arrested Development and why.

I dunno who you consider minor....but Tobias is my favorite. He's just such a great Analrapist.

What do you think of your opponent for this week, jilti? How do you think you'll do?

I don't know anything about him. At first I thought he was the same as Junto...just like people get you and Sharp confused. Ummmm he might be good. It's not like he's had to beat anyone spectacular to get here, with the state the league is in. He prolly beat Robranda in the semi's. As far as the outcome...I think the site will go down before the battle is over.


Is there anyone signed in right now that you see as a threat to your title? Or are you going for a 10 week Karaoke streak?

That type of streak is the goal. A motivated Orc and a 100% Allen Knight could both beat me. But I know Allen is busy tending to a ripped anus after a long weekend at a New Jersey bath house. So, he might be off his game a bit.

What changes would you like to see made to the league and/or site?

I just want good people to come back to the league. Orc is a start but I want @Hush, @ill nik-A, @Strikta, ect. to come back and actually show. The league as it is now is just sad. We need talent.

Are there any 'gimmick' battles (s/f; pic; alias; etc) that you'd like to see implemented in the league or a smaller tourney?

I think SF and pic would be cool to do in the league. People can do it now if both opponents agree....it's not like we need a special week or anything. People should just do it. I DONT think we should do anymore tournaments until more people are back and active....and I don't think that happens until the league gets better. King of the Spring made me cringe.


Who would you like to battle that's in the league right now? Anyone you'd like to see getting active in the near future?

I'd like to battle @Orc. I think our styles are similar and we've never done a regular battle. I already mentioned some people I'd like to see hop in...@talent. @Neighbor and @Dominate are my two favorite reads so I'd definitely like to see them both get active.

Thanks for taking the time to do this interview! I'll give you the last word for any shoutouts/callouts/thank yous/fuck yous/missed connections/miscellaneous punk rock lyrics/whatever.[/QUOTE]

I just want to thank you, Split, for including me in the mag. You do a lot for the site and I don't know how you do it in between eye doctor appointments and violin lessons. But it's appreciated. Also, thanks to @Bags for being the only reason I go into discussion. Thanks to @Allen Knight because faggot (<3) And thanks to the whole netcees fam for humiliating all new members until they leave. It makes me laugh so good.





[SEXY CHICKS]

[Compiled by Allen Knight]















[Power Rankings]
[[By Sharp]


1. Cashius
Reigning champ who looks to be more than formidable enough for his competition in the near future.

2. jilti
The guy with the closest opportunity to knocking Cashius out of the champ spot. Gonna take a lot for it to happen though.

3. Muff
Ultimate wild card. Could manage to win the contender and champ match with perfect drops but wording could hold him back.

4. Sharp
The charismatic young text battle moderator is our other contender and is definitely an underdog, but has made it this far. Will he go all the way?

5. Orc
Former season champ and multiple time NBL champion, his biggest competition may end up being motivation.

6. Allen Knight
Can beat anyone if he's at full force. The question is... will he be?

7. Dr Dog
Humor and refreshing style that can only improve with more battles makes him the dark horse at this point in the season.

8. Junto
Dude is good, but he's got to keep up with competition. Only placed this low since he's 0-0 and I haven't seen him battle this season.






[Previews]


Weekly Champ Match: jilti 3-0 vs Cashius 0-0

[Sharp]
Should be a good read. This will be Cash's first NBL title defense after the site crashed as he took the title in January. While I haven't seen him battle since then, dude has just shown up out of the blue with the same fire he had before. While these two guys are mad consistent, the difference is definitely skill. Jilti's homegrown talent and he's definitely got something, but he really doesn't bring level of harshness Cashius does – dude's setups alone have sting. While jilti has consistency he doesn't have many advantages – basically if Cashius sleeps too much jilti is ready to strike, but everything I know about these two guys tells me its Cash's battle to lose.

Cashius: 70/30

[Allen Knight]
This wont be close, jilti this some sorta radioactive slim that dipped out of the archives an formed a useless human, that thinks using wordplay like c-sections an torso used in 2004 makes him good but hes wack, he has no skill an its cringe worthy reading his verses but most ppl dont so its all good, cash will murder him here even tho cash is a flamer an works part time behind burger kings dumpsters givin blow jobs for chicken fries, nigga is gay.

Winner=fagshius 100/0


Contender Match: Muff 1-0 vs Sharp 2-0

[Sharp]
Not tryna predict my own battle. Best of luck Muff.

[Allen Knight]
Another battle of the flamers, muff has concepts alot of them an there good but his wording so terrible its like hearing a set of forks being scratched off a chalkboard while ur gettin stabbed in the foot w/ a iron. sharp is a jazz playing gaylord...he the king of the underground homo jazz players he is there king, he plays solos on dudes pant flutes cuz hes gay an he battles but w.e it cant overcome him being a pillow biter....oother than these things this will be a cool battle.

Winner=50/50 idk to close.


Defiant 2-1 vs Allen Knight 1-0

[Sharp]
Dope. Tbh I don't remember seeing these two battle but I like both of their styles. My biggest worry is Allen being sick and Defiant losing interest after losing to jilti – they're both liabilities for showing but Allen is one of the most dependable showers in text. If this goes down it'll come down to who isn't at 100%, they're both great with personals and have harsh wording. My gut says Allen but I've also predicted against Defiant every week so far and he's got a winning record so I wouldn't put too much stock in that prediction. Allen is still one of the best active and can hang just about anywhere so it's hard to pick against him. Looking forward to this battle though.

Allen Knight: 60/40


Dr Dog 1-1 vs Mutilate 1-1

[Sharp]
Looking forward to Split's drop here more than anything else tbh. He's at his best when he's up against a personality that's ripe for getting clowned on and Mutilate aka Clayton is just that. The guy isn't nearly as bad as you'd gather from discussion, but he definitely makes his presence known in some ways that don't always look good for him. Mutilate does have good wording and he keeps his lines short and to the point, which is a huge advantage in most battles, but Split's carefully selected wording is arguably more effective than your standard text battle. It could be close if Mutilate brings some good personal lines but I have split as the favorite here.

Dr Dog: 65/35

[Allen Knight]
Split dropped a good verse the one i read, it was alot better than i thought he would drop, cant sleep on him...an gayton would love to do that. dude is a werido an makes youtube vids to show off his acne hes ok at battling, i guess...but hes bitch at heart.

Winner=Split 65/35


Amen 1-1 vs makajibbz 1-0

[Sharp]
I'm just gonna let this one happen.

Yep: Yep.

[Allen Knight]
this wont be a good battle...idc to even predict it.


Orc 0-0 vs Junto 0-0

[Sharp]
Could very well be dope but Junto is currently a question mark. Orc's text record speaks for itself, and Junto has shown to be competitive lately. Orc can suffer from motivation issues but he's not one to completely phone it in on a battle. All things equal I give Orc the edge but Junto is no slouch when he's on. Should make for a good one.

Orc: 65/35

[Allen Knight]
Dope battle here could be battle of the week, orc
is the david beckham of this shit an hes been dope for a while, drops flames but wears makeup an i aint mad at him....junto is nice an a ol school vet, he also drives a dildo cart around the streets of la, bruce jenner is his top customer...junto is also a customer he trys every product before selling it.

Winner=Orc, 60/40 but junto has the skill to pull an upset.


Unfukwitable 0-0 vs sn00p 0-0

[Sharp]
I'm looking forward to this one which is actually a rematch of round one of the alias tourney, where Unfukwitable had an upset against a rusty Sn00p with some very good generic bars. Un is one of the better newer faces here, with some of the better generics I've seen in the last few years. Sn00p is one of the most underrated heads in text – can compete with anyone active today but is rarely in the conversation for top battlers. Rust could be a factor for both guys here but Sn00p's been out of it longer, though if it's not a factor he would have a big advantage. This could be a dope, close battle that I'm going to call it even since I haven't seen either battle for awhile.

Either way: 50/50

[Allen Knight]
Un is a pretty solid battler a lil inconsistent tbh but i seen him drop nice bars....sn00p is was dope but idk how rusty he is he hasnt battled in a while, this couold be close or not.

winner=50/50 if sn00p is rusty....if not 70/30


Wanderer 0-0 vs Killing Spree 0-0

[Sharp]
Killing Spree aka Beans has battled sporadically here and is solid competition. I don't know the dude Wanderer but I do know he dropped 16 already and being able to drop that much on short notice alone can carry you pretty far. Not gonna try to predict a battle when a verse is already out there.

[Allen Knight]
never heard of the first dude, killing spree is on rb
he not bad, he could use concept help but his wordin is solid. i see him winning this

Winner=70/30 KS





[Outro]

You already know. Shouts out to AK as always for his contributions to the league and mag, Split for the revival energy, and all of you that show and make this league what it is.
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:31 PM   #2
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@Defiant 2-1 @Muff 1-0 @Allen Knight 1-0 @makajibbz 1-0 @Dr Dog 1-1 @Amen 1-1 @Mutilate 1-1 @Orc 0-0 @Junto 0-0 @Unfukwitable 0-0 @Sn00p 0-0 @Wanderer 0-0 @Killing Spree 0-0 @Cashius @jilti
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:48 PM   #3
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I didn't think the private Pyle line was super dope

I just thought it was a cool reference w/ nice word association

That and I love Kubrick films

But yea. I really like the format of the mags now

Very n3at

Nice job frllas
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:54 PM   #4
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You sigged it on rb

You had to think it was at least worth displaying lol
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:57 PM   #5
El Muffin
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*implores you to look at my sig*

Erm

Lmfao

Yeah

It obv doesn't have to be dope
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Old 05-01-2015, 12:48 AM   #6
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Good shit guys
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Old 05-01-2015, 12:30 PM   #7
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Dope mag fellas
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Old 05-01-2015, 03:41 PM   #8
El Muffin
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Cashier if I get by sharp n u get by jilti I'm taking ur food
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Old 05-02-2015, 06:03 PM   #9
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These mags being of this quality and always on time is really big. Great job, guys.
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