[Round 2] (N/A) Jayson Fresh/evaD vs 10. SMACK — Fresh/evaD advance

[Answer]

6 lines per PERSON. That's 12 lines per TEAM no more & no less
If both teams agree to it, you can do more than 12 lines. 12 is the absolute minimum.
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Check in by 1/19/2022 at 11:59 p.m. EST
You won't be disqualified if you don't check in, but please just do it. It's a common courtesy
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Verses due Friday, 1/21/2022 at 11:59 p.m. EST (yes, Eastern)
It's a lot of time and not a lot of lines, don't ask for extensions
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All the usual rules apply (No biting, recycling, pm'ing for votes, etc.)

If you complete your verse early, feel free to post it or send it to me via PM. I will only post verses once both teams have submitted.

Don't bitch about votes. If you have any complaints, PM me directly and I will assess the situation. Votes without explanations or that appear to be aliases will not be accepted

@JaysonFresh @evaD @Sharp @Mac

[JaysonFresh]

Jayson/evaD verse against Sharp/Mac

these niggas cant write. proof was afta' last rnd yall left as losers
now watch audience laugh at every line u butcher like closing credit bloopers
fresh a 1 man brigade. graveyard is where i save u a space in
bc afta' one punch sharps'll end up in a box .. hospital waste bin.
hand over the reigns to evaD, leave em embarrassed/shook
these pussies clear out quicker than a eviction notice at planned parenthood.
These skinny losers lost already, no wonder their chance is the slenderest
When their last battle was such a wash finny can’t even remember it
Mention exes around Sharp and your getting cringes
Cus the lengths his went to to get away from him were usually seven inches
Divorcee teacher and window cleaner? I guess we’ll give this pair a fair crack
But I’m surprised you two got saddled together.. when you usually ride each other bareback

[Mac]

tell 'em Sharp..

when I dunk it suddenly, hands down, it's a full-court shot
when Dave dunks it, hands cuffed. gives it a shot at the court
ur girl called, i'm good sport.. so i tried to stay out of it
I tried to Warner Bro.. but she rocks the top like a box office hit
she was an escort by the way. took my wallet before I could run
got the most out penny-wise anyways. the bitch swallowed all my children !
plus, all the excuses girls throw at him makes me intrigued..
you have seen more red cards in a week than the whole Premier League
last summer classic was a travesty.. NCs history starts to blacken
shits like armenian genocide. even Dave acts like it didn't happen
Fresh dead corpse.. when u hear the blast its too late to pray
murder scenes like tonga volcano.. washes ashore 8k miles away

[UserName]

Ah a nice short battle.

Jay/Dave:

Opener was cool, waste bin was a hard no, planned parenthood was meh/iffy, finny line was cool, seven inches was funny, closer was meh. not the best verse ive seen from either of you, but cool enough maybe.

Sharp/Mac:

Your opener didnt rhyme, idk whats going on there. Warner Bro is a hard no, having trouble making this next one rhyme again - are we saying children like CHI-RUN? idk, red card was cool, armenian genocide was ok, tonga volcano is a hard no.

WELP, this wasn't the best showing from both, but I'm going with Jay/Dave. enjoyed the finny/seven inches lines the most in the entire battle, so that gives them the easy nod for me.

V - Jay/Dave

[Dominate]

these niggas cant write. proof was afta' last rnd yall left as losers
now watch audience laugh at every line u butcher like closing credit bloopers
OKish. There's not really any wp here, just talking about a different context for ppl laughing at butchered lines.
fresh a 1 man brigade. graveyard is where i save u a space in
bc afta' one punch sharps'll end up in a box .. hospital waste bin.
Alright. Could have been worded better IMO. "sharps'll" - you're talking about something belonging to Sharp. Could have worded it to mean his family/crew. As is it looks like you're talking about his punches ending up in a box, which isn't as good.
hand over the reigns to evaD, leave em embarrassed/shook
these pussies clear out quicker than a eviction notice at planned parenthood.
Hmmm not quite... maybe if you'd said these FAKE pussies
These skinny losers lost already, no wonder their chance is the slenderest
When their last battle was such a wash finny can’t even remember it
LOL. Good. Probably lotb. Personal punch on point and the flip is funny
Mention exes around Sharp and your getting cringes
Cus the lengths his went to to get away from him were usually seven inches
Good personal punch again and flipped creatively. I swear you were talking about 7 inch dicks in your last verse as well though. What's your fixation with this specific length?/
Divorcee teacher and window cleaner? I guess we’ll give this pair a fair crack
But I’m surprised you two got saddled together.. when you usually ride each other bareback
Cool. Not as hard hitting as the last couple but it's an OK line. Haven't seen the wp before.


when I dunk it suddenly, hands down, it's a full-court shot
when Dave dunks it, hands cuffed. gives it a shot at the court
Doesn't rhyme for me... Not really feeling this anyway though. The wp isn't fresh and not worded smooth/harsh enough to compensate.
ur girl called, i'm good sport.. so i tried to stay out of it
I tried to Warner Bro.. but she rocks the top like a box office hit
This is OK, not bad.
she was an escort by the way. took my wallet before I could run
got the most out penny-wise anyways. the bitch swallowed all my children !
Cool concept. Again with the rhyming though. It hurts you here bc this line coulda been a hitter but that really fucks up the impact when it doesn't rhyme. Guessing you're not American and it probably sounds fine to you. I can empathise. Sorry bud. Maybe get your tag partner to check. Also, pro tip: the ! at the end of the line can only hurt you. It adds nothing if a reader thinks the line is good, and if a reader thinks the line is bad it makes you look worse for thinking it's good. I've literally never seen a line enhanced by a ! at the end of it.
plus, all the excuses girls throw at him makes me intrigued..
you have seen more red cards in a week than the whole Premier League
Basic wp but it's an OK bar
last summer classic was a travesty.. NCs history starts to blacken
shits like armenian genocide. even Dave acts like it didn't happen
Unless I'm missing a wp or a personal here (and sincere apologies if that's the case), nah.
Fresh dead corpse.. when u hear the blast its too late to pray
murder scenes like tonga volcano.. washes ashore 8k miles away
Nah. Same as last bar. You've read the news but... OK? You've gotta do something with it. Needs at least a basic wordplay, not just a different context for comparison


V/ Fresh & Dave. Higher highs and misses weren't as low.

[Answer]

these niggas cant write. proof was afta' last rnd yall left as losers
now watch audience laugh at every line u butcher like closing credit bloopers

good solid punch

fresh a 1 man brigade. graveyard is where i save u a space in
bc afta' one punch sharps'll end up in a box .. hospital waste bin.

eh i get the idea but i would've left concept in the throwaways pile

hand over the reigns to evaD, leave em embarrassed/shook
these pussies clear out quicker than a eviction notice at planned parenthood.

not really digging this, too simple and overdone

These skinny losers lost already, no wonder their chance is the slenderest
When their last battle was such a wash finny can’t even remember it

lol this is funny, but execution wise could be cleaner

Mention exes around Sharp and your getting cringes
Cus the lengths his went to to get away from him were usually seven inches

ok

Divorcee teacher and window cleaner? I guess we’ll give this pair a fair crack
But I’m surprised you two got saddled together.. when you usually ride each other bareback

cool closer




when I dunk it suddenly, hands down, it's a full-court shot
when Dave dunks it, hands cuffed. gives it a shot at the court

the rhyme here is really what's throwing me off, but ok start

ur girl called, i'm good sport.. so i tried to stay out of it
I tried to Warner Bro.. but she rocks the top like a box office hit

ok, warner bro wp just reminds me of those "warn a brother" tshirts so it doesnt really have any novelty to it

she was an escort by the way. took my wallet before I could run
got the most out penny-wise anyways. the bitch swallowed all my children !

the children/could run rhyme might work in an audio here, but it's offputting in text format. the execution here is also a bit sloppy

plus, all the excuses girls throw at him makes me intrigued..
you have seen more red cards in a week than the whole Premier League

cool, the general idea has definitely been done before though

last summer classic was a travesty.. NCs history starts to blacken
shits like armenian genocide. even Dave acts like it didn't happen

the main thing i need for this bar to work is for the name "Dave" to somehow be tied to armenian genocide, and im not that much of a history buff to know that it does and a google search doesn't really say anything about there being a relationship between the two

Fresh dead corpse.. when u hear the blast its too late to pray
murder scenes like tonga volcano.. washes ashore 8k miles away

ok



credit bloopers was lotb for me. i feel like both teams showed a stronger performance in round 1, but Jayson/evaD had a few lines I was kinda digging. Nothing really caught my eye from mac/sharp if I'm being honest and the rhyming issues didn't help. I definitely appreciate Sharp/Mac for stepping up to fill the empty spot and showing, but I have to give my vote to the team that I felt had a stronger verse

v/ JaysonFresh & evaD

[Ghost1]

Originally Posted by JaysonFresh

Jayson/evaD verse against Sharp/Mac

these niggas cant write. proof was afta' last rnd yall left as losers
now watch audience laugh at every line u butcher like closing credit bloopers

aw dee ants...all the ants. fuego.

fresh a 1 man brigade. graveyard is where i save u a space in
bc afta' one punch sharps'll end up in a box .. hospital waste bin.

yea had to get my vaccine with a sharp a couple months ago. said no human who uses words.

hand over the reigns to evaD, leave em embarrassed/shook
these pussies clear out quicker than a eviction notice at planned parenthood.

wouldnt the tenants still have 30 days? this is terrible for way more reasons tho

These skinny losers lost already, no wonder their chance is the slenderest
When their last battle was such a wash finny can’t even remember it

meh

Mention exes around Sharp and your getting cringes
Cus the lengths his went to to get away from him were usually seven inches

like dicks? this is worded like shit

Divorcee teacher and window cleaner? I guess we’ll give this pair a fair crack
But I’m surprised you two got saddled together.. when you usually ride each other bareback

best bar. still trash.

Originally Posted by Mac

tell 'em Sharp..

when I dunk it suddenly, hands down, it's a full-court shot
when Dave dunks it, hands cuffed. gives it a shot at the court

lol literally read this 6 times. not a damn clue here.

ur girl called, i'm good sport.. so i tried to stay out of it
I tried to Warner Bro.. but she rocks the top like a box office hit

this is very average

she was an escort by the way. took my wallet before I could run
got the most out penny-wise anyways. the bitch swallowed all my children !

this is the first semblance of a punch in the whole battle I think

plus, all the excuses girls throw at him makes me intrigued..
you have seen more red cards in a week than the whole Premier League

soccer lol

last summer classic was a travesty.. NCs history starts to blacken
shits like armenian genocide. even Dave acts like it didn't happen

light

Fresh dead corpse.. when u hear the blast its too late to pray
murder scenes like tonga volcano.. washes ashore 8k miles away

this battle sucked lol

whoever the second verse is in what I just quoted gets my vote

[Fracture]

dave and jayfresh-- closer was the great. rest sucked


mac and sharp... tonga volcano and armenian genocide are not okay to use. this sent the verse so negative that it didnt matter how crisp the first four bars were, way too distracting


vote- dave and jayfresh

[Aero]

Jay / Dave

these niggas cant write. proof was afta' last rnd yall left as losers
now watch audience laugh at every line u butcher like closing credit bloopers
this was simple but witty.. cool opener
fresh a 1 man brigade. graveyard is where i save u a space in
bc afta' one punch sharps'll end up in a box .. hospital waste bin.
alright
hand over the reigns to evaD, leave em embarrassed/shook
these pussies clear out quicker than a eviction notice at planned parenthood.
this actually made no sense lol
These skinny losers lost already, no wonder their chance is the slenderest
When their last battle was such a wash finny can’t even remember it
cute, decentish
Mention exes around Sharp and your getting cringes
Cus the lengths his went to to get away from him were usually seven inches
LOL this is wrong. Sharp felt this.
Divorcee teacher and window cleaner? I guess we’ll give this pair a fair crack
But I’m surprised you two got saddled together.. when you usually ride each other bareback
you tried it


Smack:

when I dunk it suddenly, hands down, it's a full-court shot
when Dave dunks it, hands cuffed. gives it a shot at the court
you dunk on a full court shot? HAHAHAHA that's not even possible in Space Jam.. and this didn't rhyme
ur girl called, i'm good sport.. so i tried to stay out of it
I tried to Warner Bro.. but she rocks the top like a box office hit
Warner bro is kinda played..
she was an escort by the way. took my wallet before I could run
got the most out penny-wise anyways. the bitch swallowed all my children !
the end rhyme here is comical... punch was cool
plus, all the excuses girls throw at him makes me intrigued..
you have seen more red cards in a week than the whole Premier League
okay
last summer classic was a travesty.. NCs history starts to blacken
shits like armenian genocide. even Dave acts like it didn't happen
okay
Fresh dead corpse.. when u hear the blast its too late to pray
murder scenes like tonga volcano.. washes ashore 8k miles away
You tried it



Jay Dave won this pretty easily. Sharp and Mac keyed this while tickling each other

[UPN Zuch]

Cool battle here.

Sharp and mac wasn’t as polished as needed to be although the concepts were there.


Dave and jay verse was more put together. Finny bar was LOL.


Close battle for sure


I got Dave and jay

[Answer]

I got 6-1 in favor of fresh/evad