10-01-2018, 08:40 PM | #1 |
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Pancakebrah vs Innovator[CAKE WINS]
NWL:Season I: Week III
Verses ares due: FRIDAY at 11:59 PM EST Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30 Voting on 2 battles is required. TOPIC: THIS WEEK IS HAIKU GUNBAR WEEK PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW WHAT A HAIKU IS. ITS A JAPANESE FORM OF POETRY CONSISTING OF 17 TOTAL SYLLABLES.FIRST LINE IS 5, SECOND LINE IS 7 AND LAST LINE IS 5. SINCE ITS ONLY 3 LINES, THIS WEEK YOU HAVE WRITE 3 SEPARATE GUNBAR HAIKUS, SO A TOTAL OF 9 LINES. PRETTY EASY. VOTING WILL BE EXPLAINED IN THE MAG. GOODLUCK. @PancakeBrah Last edited by Inno; 10-08-2018 at 10:46 PM. |
10-01-2018, 08:49 PM | #2 |
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I've got so many gun bars.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
10-01-2018, 08:58 PM | #3 |
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Let’s make it a Good one cake
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10-05-2018, 10:48 PM | #4 |
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The shotty liberal.
Long winded when it's triggered a college student Student of the game It'll take advantage quick Aiming head down will create an assault Mix your upstairs with downstairs Missus Blasey Ford
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
10-05-2018, 11:58 PM | #5 |
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Pull triggers heavy
The lead weighs them down with ease 6 feet bedsheets, sleep. Put rounds to yah head Riddle shots to your conscience Scars burned memories Bullets stck to bone The calibers saturate: A soul melting heat. |
10-06-2018, 02:09 PM | #6 | ||
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Quote:
Quote:
All three of his were more relevant to the topic imo while still being creative If Pancake had a couple more like his 1st haiku it would've been a lil closer of a battle 2nd was cool & 3rd was dope just didn't have much to do w/ guns Also I was gonna say your first line in your first haiku was 6 syllables but I can see how it would go both ways when it's said |
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10-07-2018, 07:38 PM | #7 |
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Pancake: long winded when it’s triggered tied into college student was a dope beginniner. Student of the game was good but I wasn’t really feeling aim head down part. But it did tie into Missus Blasely Ford smoothly. Dope line.
Vs Innovator: first couple of syllables were a bit basic but I liked 6 feet bedsheets, sleep. I didn’t like scars burned memories. Thought u coulda done more with this. Calibers saturate was fire Overall: really close here, I got pancake tho by a hair |
10-07-2018, 10:36 PM | #8 |
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Could go either way, I think (I don't know how this league works) but I edge to cake because the wordplay, which I consider to be a large part of gunbars, was strongest in his first haiku (and the Ford concept, which would work in a regular battle). Small deciding factor for me, but cool battle
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10-08-2018, 02:26 AM | #9 |
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Cake: Shotty is two syllable you limey fuk. Solid couplet though. While it was fluid completely, you neither punched in a dissing sense, nor rhymed multiple layers. I see the college,trigger,liberal etc. concepts. good shit overall
V8R: All haikus fit criteria. Saludé. Fairly vivid and raw honestly. I like it. Felt like a flex/diss/spit in your face type shit. While cake was more witty with it, Ino was more disrespectful in a sense, which I enjoyed. v/inovator
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I'm tryna fuck like A-don-is TUPAC SHAKUR Last edited by Adonis; 10-08-2018 at 02:33 AM. |
10-08-2018, 08:05 PM | #10 |
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2-2 @bleak @Knucklehead @anyone can we get a closing vote so we can move on
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10-08-2018, 10:16 PM | #12 |
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I never voted on this type of battle so give me a break.
Pancake:The first 3 lines were really nice. But I think you added a syllable going by the rules of the Haiku. That missus Blasey ford line was pretty dope too. Relevant content and the wording was really on point considering Gunbar topic wise. this was fucking nice. Inn: I was feeling the six feet deep bedsheets part. i also liked the scars burn memories line. I that that was pretty cool. The melting heat calibers saturate part was nice too. My Vote: Pancake. It was close but I thought his Haiku was a little bit more creative than Innovators to be honest. But this was pretty cool to vote on. Next time I'll hop in on this type of battle |
10-08-2018, 10:45 PM | #13 |
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Cake wins
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