The journey to the center of the urge

[Vulgar]

i

[Zen]

Wowzer. Dope. I'm always impressed when writers use vocab such as this and maintain the flow perfectly. Some lines were stretched more than others too and yet the flow wasn't fucked up from that either somehow. Nice. I also noticed some nice use of alliteration in certain lines. Whether that was intentional or not (I think it was so just say yes) it was a very nice touch to this. One of the best things I've read on here in awhile because with all the things I just mentioned its something else: unique to you. Vintage Vulgar. Keep doing you.

[Eŋg]

the syntax in this bothered me a bit, coupled with your strange treatment of grammar, on which i wouldn't comment if not for several readings of your less rhyme-centric poetry where you focus heavily on punctuation, to the point of over-zealousness, even. the extended rhyme scheme to begin the first stanza was impressive, but imperfect, and 'ruger's lid' didn't work for me. your transitions were (uncharacteristically?) clunky if i'm honest with you; but the final five lines of the first segment/separate endorsements onward was done well. tempestuous auspice is a curious phrase. i enjoyed your wording there.

as is typical of your writing, there are some profound one-liners bolstered by an almost inimitable ability to conjure bizarre imagery. game of tetris is border-less was nice. that said, a couple of lines lost me:

Oral quarrels borne from reddened Orvilles torn from the Reuter's list

Code of Hammurabi table of contents necessary for burning

the first one was just idk what this means. i just can't. the second not so much, the use of table threw me a bit but i took it to be a bastardized tablet, which works. still that line reads off to me. i also have no idea what a Sneffling is? while i understand one of your strengths is pulling a myriad of references, ostensibly unrelated, and slinging them together with some top-notch rhyming and conceptual energy, i thought the Foo Fighters' one stuck out, poorly. rhyme with too-tightened/blue-lichened well enough, though. the mention of Verne i thought inevitable with your title, no problem there. the Howl/Calcifer part was potentially misplaced, but i like that book (and film, i think) so i have bias. also, i believe it's Vipassana. with an accent or something i'm not sure how to alter the language on my keyboard. why is the knight called Orion? i thought up about four reasons. none are right, probably.

this wasn't your best work. but your best work is of a very high standard -- you can't always live up to that legacy. even Fyodor fell from grace after tapping to Werdum. you're alright. i don't think this was a defeat, just a bit lacklustre imo. still pretty good and an interesting read, all the same. i feel like you have enough humility to know i wouldn't feed you like this out of spite or anything. i think everyone needs to be kept on their toes. a bit.

pz.

[Vulgar]

[

[DexLabb]

holy fuck man the amount of words in this is incredible. i dont even know dude, that seemed psychobabble to me for the most part, i don't doubt your really smart. liked this line:

The planet doesn't rotate because it's part of a modeling agency
It spins to generate a searchlight capable of scouting for vacancy

just the concept of that alone. really good. i'd say filter your stuff into more cohesive and understandable bars

[Fig]

And a pic with orange, mechanical Mike Wazowskis.
Will edit feed here

[Defy Gravity]

"Symbiotic foreigners muse, transfixed on a transformative mutant cyst
both fascinated yet vacillated by how our mortal corridors stoop and bend
Salute, extend their barrels, hearing roars from a ruger's lid
Oral quarrels borne from reddened Orvilles torn from the Reuter's list"

I was a little lost on this part but the flow was so amazing i couldnt help but quote it.



"getting separate endorsements for dismembering corpses
no matter how tempting the sorceress or her tempestuous auspices
Why's my block against your block? This game of Tetris is borderless
Ancient zeppelins ought to drift by the same electrical water grids
embrace the mantle of your inner sanctums: death to the lawlessness"

Your use of pop reference and wordplay always makes your pieces entertaining.


"Exiled to Titan for being a too-tightened screw
Genderless martians crept through the mosses of a blue-lichened moon
accompanied only by the sound of the Foo Fighter's tunes"

Dope references as usual.


"A towering vision, a Taoist admission
replete with Visipanna towels and ribbons"

dope dope dope


"yet reminiscent of Howl's Moving Castle conditions
if a lack of oxygen was reason enough for Calcifer's dimming"

now your picking up the pace


"Why does passion diminish?
There's nothing as devout as a sentence
NASA didn't build a space ship called "You."
They didn't put it out of commission
The planet doesn't rotate because it's part of a modeling agency
It spins to generate a searchlight capable of scouting for vacancy
Cumulus clouds cruise at safest speeds for hours, debatably
Announcement to sacred seas: The age of bountiful rain proceeds"


some soul searching message to people searching for their solidarity? The wordplay and references made this piece enjoyable. i like it but was confused at times and it seemed complicated at the beginning.

[PancakeBrah]

The entire first section was awesome, aside from bottling fluids line which fucked up the flow a bit. The tempestuous auspices line would've done the same but the tempting the sorceress/tempestuous auspices off-guard-almost-rhyme-does-it-rhyme?-no-it-doesn't-rhyme-but-its-so-cool wording made it dope. First section was vintage Vulgarian Text Form Level 3. It was one of those sections that if I had the time or interest I'd do the long-form breakdown and bold shit and point out my favorite wordings, etc. Imagine I did that.

"Genetics Vonnegut-dated, yet Verne actuated"

Line of the battle.

"Exiled to Titan for being a too-tightened screw
Genderless martians crept through the mosses of a blue-lichened moon
accompanied only by the sound of the Foo Fighter's tunes"

Fuark. You do have a tendency to throw in pop references to create a dichotomy with your studious/earnest/serious tones but here it actually served as a real double entendre, not a one-off, in keeping with the piece. Portion was butter smooth, too. There are smoother substances than butter but that's the saying. No disrespect intended.

Last section was the worst. Still good. Drove the point home, so there's points for that.

I find that your single line metaphors are bit hackneyed at times but your long-form metaphors (ideas throughout a piece, significant sections, whole verses/drops) are top notch. Weird.

This was good, I liked this take on your style.

I'm dumb so I got a bit lost at the beginning looking for the perspective/point but I got there at the end. You're always saying something behind all the pretty aesthetics of your verses and crisp rhymes.

Keeping doing you.

[Exis]

I'd quote the whole first section... The second was nice also but it's that half I felt was the stand out.I'll be honest, I have to google a lot of shit you write aoout (which can be tiresome) havin' said that though when I get what's up I can only reply by sayin' dope...the amount of wit and so forth that goes into your work is nothin' short of brilliant 99% of the time and as for imagery, well this like all your pieces has that in bucket loads...always a pleasure to comment drops from you V,
thanks for the read...and the feed too bro.

Stay uppity.

[Wise Wiggles]

I read this and was a little confusalized afterwardz.

PEACE

[NYCSPITZ]

VULGAR UR MY HERO!