Week 3: Nigma vs. Asylum [Asylum 4-2]

[Adonis]

Season 7

Verses are due Thursday 1/5 at 11:59 PST. EXT 1/6 11:59 PST

Voting ends Sunday 1/8 at 11:59 PST

Verses may not exceed 48 lines

Voting on 3 battles is required. If you win and don't vote the requirement you will not receive a victory. If you lose and don't vote the requirement, you will receive a one-week suspension.


Topic: Kings and Humanity

@asylum @Nigma

[Nigma]

In. Verses due Thursday right?

[Adonis]

Originally Posted by Nigma

In. Verses due Thursday right?

Fixed

[asylum]

Thanks bro. Check.

[asylum]

An old man cast his gaze across a plain covered by metal and flesh,
severed limbs bled cherry petals in puddles that spelled poems of death,
He saw every moment that was left frozen,
in an ocean of tears in a salton sea,
Of those devoured by the monstrosity of bullets flying at high velocity,
Or tossed off war torn ceilings for not concealing natural thoughts and feelings.
The moment they died, if they opened their eyes,
do you truly think they'd see the scope of our lies,
how do you cope with spreading hopeless demise?
Whole buildings flattened cover all you can see with your mind,
children in disbelief stare unaware of what happened.
There's people dying of starvation in the streets of Yemen,
they'll be clips of allied bomb strikes wiki-leaked in remembrance,
or of soldiers of misfortune, some futures bleak in a semblance.
The Roman Circus smolders while sutures wreak in putrid repentance.
Choke on the truth and puke from the stench of a future-less sentence,
dropping nukes on defenseless humans, it's endless.
We're doomed to combining defenses, arming our troops that defend us,
Useless pretenders not refusin to send us have some ruthless agendas.
Lets see a politician's excuse not to enter our armed forces before they force us.
I'd rather give food in large portions to kids starving as they huddle for warmth,
covered in ashes next to the wreckage of what once was their porch,
but there's a fine line drawn between lives in war,
and we're at a dawn of a new age where new lines are forged.

[Nigma]

Memoirs of a Mad Man.

We’re all born in light but the darkness has grown
Now my bites twice as sharp as the bark on my throne
My mind might be bright but it’s a garden of mold
Denying what you buy, it’s like what charlatan’s owe
Believe I’m heaven sent. Sure, cowards usurped us
The only prerequisites were power and purpose
Left them headless men, and dead denizens are worthless
Crimson specks of wetness that I shower the Earth with
The more sour I’m turning, more my power emerges
Now my valiant vows to servants are devoured by urges
Former man of empathy, now homeyness consumes my head
Performances at weddings having orgies with the newlyweds
Not sparing any hymen to prepare this dynasty, since
Benevolence a sober thought ensnared by violent things
Now, a day without some liquor is impaired sobriety
Not scared of my designers, I will share their tyranny.
Aware of Mayan chieftain tombs; their spooky demeanour
The tribe is speaking, booing me, I slew the deceivers
Calls echo. Falsetto. Prove your allegiance.
Rule like Julius Caesar teamed with Nubian leaders
My soul seems exponential like a spokes arrangement
The goal is to restrain them and control the ages.
Tears, blood, and ink combine to soak the pages
Immorality is sought by everyone who won’t attain it.

[2tripple0]

yeah this was a good battle you both came with similar verses anyways heres how i broke them down.....

The moment they died, if they opened their eyes,
do you truly think they'd see the scope of our lies,
how do you cope with spreading hopeless demise?
Whole buildings flattened cover all you can see with your mind,
children in disbelief stare unaware of what happened.
There's people dying of starvation in the streets of Yemen,
they'll be clips of allied bomb strikes wiki-leaked in remembrance,
or of soldiers of misfortune, some futures bleak in a semblance.

right i liked that bit really showed you what it was like to be in like a horrible background i guess you kind of gave me the idea that shit wasnt worth the attention you were trying to recieve it was nice but a strange way of saying that theres stuff out there that needs to be recognized if you get me there fact that no there really shouldnt be some kid in Yemen or wherever starving..... you get me every man deserves three meals a day campaign...


right anyways the rest of hte verse.... i liked it the problem is a lot of the piece was ammendable and worthy of praise but at the same time they knew they couldnt figure it out they were screwed that was the point they didnt know how to proceed to like fix these peoples horrible lives in these horrible settings where you cant fix or remedy you get me that was the problem this background of this piece was interesting and i enjoyed it more than i thought..... anyways ya competitor nigmas verse homeboy...

lets see how to percieve this lol heres a quote of a bit of it......see what i can pull from it......


Believe I’m heaven sent. Sure, cowards usurped us
The only prerequisites were power and purpose
Left them headless men, and dead denizens are worthless
Crimson specks of wetness that I shower the Earth with
The more sour I’m turning, more my power emerges
Now my valiant vows to servants are devoured by urges
Former man of empathy, now homeyness consumes my head
Performances at weddings having orgies with the newlyweds


eh i think you kind of stretched it or pulled it off a bit off it was nice i enjoyed the flow there didnt seem to be anything wrong with the direction you were taking it or seemed to have not completely explained anything in full detail..... like the fact that this story didnt have a background whereas the previous one did.... hmm.. it was nice flow i admit i enjoyed the theme of a like a strong background which helps or doesnt im not sure all the time... anyways the piece was nice cause you walked away it was like you were finished with it before you really even had a chance to describe the background because you cant tell that the flow was so rich.... i dont know about you but i think this is what got me and why i think im going to vote for the first verse because you knew you knew that even with this rich flow it wasnt going to be possible to escape the horrors and you werent given enough time......... ehhh i know im being harsh and usually i would have voted for a verse like yours instead of some kid who has been abused and other awful things have happened..... in fact i like that about your verse but in truth and reality i really enjoyed the background of the first verse even though it wasnt something i expected to happen.... anyways there it is thats my vote i hope its enough and good luck to both of you im sorry if anyone is hurt by this vote i am not trying to hurt anyone.... but good luck to both of you in the rest of the week of the league and see you both hopefully for the next one.... good luck all around the board i enjoyed both verses i really could have gone for either one you both did well and i am forthcoming to find out what the rest of the people are going to say about this battle....... good job guys see ya later..

[asylum]

@2tripple0 please clarify who you've chosen as the victor with a simple

MVGT: (alias)

Thanks for your time and feedback!

[Coup]

first dude (asylumpad)-

Up until you mention "Yemen" I had no real time to place this event in...not that I was asking or even cared because in the back of my head I had just assumed some made up land where time was timeless and did not matter.

Reading the place, Yemen, sort of took me out of it...though not for long, because the 2nd half really picked up and had interesting qualities that tied into the opening lines well. Not only does it progress the narrative, but tosses around social issues such as justice and equity in a not so preachy way.

Part of the confusion for me, however, was the opening "man" and his field of view: the narration stemming from his context. The first line was strong, setting a precedent. This was abandoned quickly to your verses hurt. It went from "he" to they/them in the form of rhetorical questions not in the context of the "man" but in context of victims. I admit this is minor and I offer it up only because it did come to mind. This is all subtle however, but does come at a price.


Truly killed this:
Lets see a politician's excuse not to enter our armed forces before they force us.
I'd rather give food in large portions to kids starving as they huddle for warmth,
covered in ashes next to the wreckage of what once was their porch,
but there's a fine line drawn between lives in war,
and we're at a dawn of a new age where new lines are forged.

Overall i respect the focus and how you did not stray far from the objective framework of the piece.

amen.

//


-second dude (nigmapad)

My mind might be bright but it’s a garden of mold

quirky image, ha

Immorality is sought by everyone who won’t attain it.

nice. thoughtful line here...truly.

Believe I’m heaven sent. Sure, cowards usurped us
The only prerequisites were power and purpose


ha loved this...even a coward can over through if the right power balance and necessity is struck at the right moment.


You have plenty of interesting nuggets, lots of quality lines and the flow and rhyme was on point. However, I had no idea what was happening, what was going on and where, and who and how. I suffer from this often, so I see it clear. All in all this work just seemed to pick up in the middle of nowhere really. lots of competing subjects, actions and players in this...while a interesting read in terms of rhyme and sound, this leaves one confused and much to be desired.

I read this backwards, from the last line to the top, just as easily as top down.


//

vote: first dude (asylumpad)

[Insanevillain]

This battle is also tough...

I love asylums imagery and the straight forwardness of his writing..

While I love Nigmas's flow, and his play with words...

Story And Imagery id have to give to asylum

Flow and Multi's Id have to give to Nigma

But after alot of thought... My vote goes to Nigma

I don't know if im right... but i interpreted like lucifer on the throne in this piece.. from the beginning you state we are all born in the light but darkness has grown..

you also mention that you are heaven sent... which could also represent lucifer.. in a way...

and you shower the earth with death... or crimson wetness...

goal is to control the ages...

iono... Nigmas shit was deep and had me really thinking...

[Adonis]

Asylum up 2-1

[Maximus]

dope match fellas.. i enjoyed both pieces
Asylum - a very captivating intro which drew me in from the jump, loving the imagery and progression.. i ain't really got any issues with this verse, also ur last 6 lines were dope, closing the piece nicely. well done

Nigma - solid flow man, a once good man who became a cold hearted and lustful ruler, sharing his tyranny with men of his ilk.. i think u meant horniness in the 11th line tho, apart from that typo i also have no issues with ur verse, some profound nuggets littered around here and there, nice.

both stayed on topic and i really loved the pieces, close in my eyes but i got Nigma edging this by a lil margin

[e11even]

MVGT Asylum

Both verses were nice, but Asylum brought a more accessible story and his mechanics were not that far off from Nigma's. I liked both verses, but my final impression is longer lasting from asylum. Hopefully this vote is long enough.

[Razah]

Yay, the first truly enjoyable battle. I guess I saved the best for last huh.

Anyways, I usually almost always enjoy Nigma's verses, as I did this time around. I think both competitors did justice to their topics so it's going to end up being based on which one I enjoyed more.


I feel like Nigma's wording was super on point, and it was technically a flawless verse, mechanics wise, but something was missing for me. I don't know bruh, I can't call it. Asylum on the other hand, was a little less polished than Nigma but I enjoyed his verse so much more. The whole beginning of it, flowed so smoothly for me. It kind of felt like a real 'raw' verse, versus a more 'polished' verse, but I just enjoyed Asylum's so much more. The imagery was very captivating. I need to get back into writing like that, pretty inspirational stuff guys.

vAsylum