Short and to the Point

ill nik-A · 03-05-2015, 02:34 PM

Anger’s strong points will begin contesting ya verbiage
while failure’s results keep suppressing your urges
soon to protest against splurges… or any joy of life
I’m just A man… being scolded by the voice of Christ
How can we avoid the lies? Most lessons question all
breaking down necessity when it’s really obsessions’ call
you had a vision but was it what taught you to see?
tuning out bad vibes doesn’t speak volumes of me
being wrong comes with a fee, the price of intellect
most answers come from experience despite the internet
won’t miss a threat, learned to determine hate’s grin
we embrace faith but only after developing snakeskin

david stern razor burns · 03-05-2015, 08:22 PM

Hi Nikka, I thought this was decent, I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really impressive either. The highlight was surely the internet line, but there wasn't a lot here overall.
This read like an audio verse that was posted as a written. For that reason alone I will give you more credit but really I found the content to be quite bland.
I have a feeling that you are simply rusty because I am quite sure I have read much more superior writing from you in the past. Maybe old age is finally creeping up on you, and its a sign to hang up the hundreds of Air Force Ones...

Bon Voyage.

Mr. J · 03-07-2015, 12:39 AM

LoL'd^^^^^

I thought this was pretty good
the flow was amazing as per usual..
but yea..I'll be back to finish this

sral · 03-11-2015, 08:34 AM

how did you not finish a twelve line piece in one go?

lol DatShitCray

anyway, nik-As always used contrasting things/sayings in his pieces, even the opening couplet here has an element of that (same ish he's done since winning that tourney at LW - yeah i remember that...)

thought the A man line in this was a nice touch alluding to your screenname. there were a couple others that kinda stood out, mostly because of your punchliney battle oriented style like the volumes to me and despite the internet lines

its unmistakably ill nik-A, same style he's used for more than a decade now, which might be what DSRB was referring to but yeah, def not time to put the pen down just yet

keep it moving!

Geno · 03-11-2015, 12:17 PM

I’m just A man… being scolded by the voice of Christ
How can we avoid the lies? Most lessons question all
breaking down necessity when it’s really obsessions’ call
you had a vision but was it what taught you to see?

this is where it turned up nicely.

and this is where its just dope as fuck..

tuning out bad vibes doesn’t speak volumes of me
being wrong comes with a fee, the price of intellect
most answers come from experience despite the internet
won’t miss a threat, learned to determine hate’s grin
we embrace faith but only after developing snakeskin

cant hate. this was fire nik-a

Truth Iscariot · 03-17-2015, 11:43 AM

I did enjoy this. Very short and to the point lol. Dropping some nice wisdom here with tight flow and nice multisyllabic rhymes which never came across as forced. It's one thing to Rhyme it's another thing to rap a message and sound dope doing it.

Stay up Ill

Pharaohs Army · 03-24-2015, 08:49 PM

Gotta agree with Genocide that the last 6 lines were awesome. Top notch.

I could go into detail breaking down into 3 couplets why they are so good, but I think they speak for themselves.

It's good in it's entirety. Great multi's&flow.

If I had to nitpick one thing it would be the word "protest" (as part of the 3rd of the 3 opening multi's). Even when "properly stressing" it's hard to fit I.M.O.

Split Eight · 05-07-2015, 06:52 AM

How can we avoid the lies? Most lessons question all
breaking down necessity when it’s really obsessions’ call
you had a vision but was it what taught you to see?

I thought this was dope. The middle line was a little shaky for me because the act of 'breaking down necessity' doesn't hold much meaning in and of itself, and the clarifying detail 'when it's really obsessions call' doesn't give that phrase any more meaning or weight. It seams like a throwaway line.
But the two lines it was sandwiched between both spoke volumes.

tuning out bad vibes doesn’t speak volumes of me
being wrong comes with a fee, the price of intellect
most answers come from experience despite the internet

Interesting, like this. Can't quite figure out the first line, I get the wordplay but I'm not understanding it's meaning.

Cool tho. Write more

03-05-2015, 02:34 PM	#1
ill nik-A Super Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 7,407 Battle Record: 70-25 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Battle Arena - BA Picture - Picture Battle Tournament - Netcees Battle League (3x) - Netcees Writers League (2x) - Summer Classic VI - Fall Brawl III - Netcees Battle League Season X - Lyric Olympics Rep Power: 77164516	Short and to the Point Anger’s strong points will begin contesting ya verbiage while failure’s results keep suppressing your urges soon to protest against splurges… or any joy of life I’m just A man… being scolded by the voice of Christ How can we avoid the lies? Most lessons question all breaking down necessity when it’s really obsessions’ call you had a vision but was it what taught you to see? tuning out bad vibes doesn’t speak volumes of me being wrong comes with a fee, the price of intellect most answers come from experience despite the internet won’t miss a threat, learned to determine hate’s grin we embrace faith but only after developing snakeskin __________________ Grumpy old man.

03-07-2015, 12:39 AM	#3
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,023 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	LoL'd^^^^^ I thought this was pretty good the flow was amazing as per usual.. but yea..I'll be back to finish this __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

03-11-2015, 08:34 AM	#4
sral Shrewd as evearthed Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 8,255 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899391	how did you not finish a twelve line piece in one go? lol DatShitCray anyway, nik-As always used contrasting things/sayings in his pieces, even the opening couplet here has an element of that (same ish he's done since winning that tourney at LW - yeah i remember that...) thought the A man line in this was a nice touch alluding to your screenname. there were a couple others that kinda stood out, mostly because of your punchliney battle oriented style like the volumes to me and despite the internet lines its unmistakably ill nik-A, same style he's used for more than a decade now, which might be what DSRB was referring to but yeah, def not time to put the pen down just yet keep it moving! __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)

03-11-2015, 12:17 PM	#5
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	I’m just A man… being scolded by the voice of Christ How can we avoid the lies? Most lessons question all breaking down necessity when it’s really obsessions’ call you had a vision but was it what taught you to see? this is where it turned up nicely. and this is where its just dope as fuck.. tuning out bad vibes doesn’t speak volumes of me being wrong comes with a fee, the price of intellect most answers come from experience despite the internet won’t miss a threat, learned to determine hate’s grin we embrace faith but only after developing snakeskin cant hate. this was fire nik-a __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

03-05-2015, 08:22 PM	#2
david stern razor burns with razor spurs Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: At David Blaine's favorite place with David Spade and Macy Gray Posts: 87 Rep Power: 3750186	Hi Nikka, I thought this was decent, I mean, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really impressive either. The highlight was surely the internet line, but there wasn't a lot here overall. This read like an audio verse that was posted as a written. For that reason alone I will give you more credit but really I found the content to be quite bland. I have a feeling that you are simply rusty because I am quite sure I have read much more superior writing from you in the past. Maybe old age is finally creeping up on you, and its a sign to hang up the hundreds of Air Force Ones... Bon Voyage.

03-17-2015, 11:43 AM	#6
Truth Iscariot Pimpin' Butterflies Join Date: May 2014 Location: NC Posts: 41 Rep Power: 741380	I did enjoy this. Very short and to the point lol. Dropping some nice wisdom here with tight flow and nice multisyllabic rhymes which never came across as forced. It's one thing to Rhyme it's another thing to rap a message and sound dope doing it. Stay up Ill

03-24-2015, 08:49 PM	#7
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,962 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	Gotta agree with Genocide that the last 6 lines were awesome. Top notch. I could go into detail breaking down into 3 couplets why they are so good, but I think they speak for themselves. It's good in it's entirety. Great multi's&flow. If I had to nitpick one thing it would be the word "protest" (as part of the 3rd of the 3 opening multi's). Even when "properly stressing" it's hard to fit I.M.O.