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Old 08-28-2014, 10:23 PM   #1
Adonis
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Default Finals Mag: The Preview

The Finals Mag
Produced By: Adonis







No-shows Making of the Finals

The roads



“Seymour Butts” has never faced off against “Richard Schwartz” be it Alias or Traditional formatt. The fact that we are able to finally read these two unique, abnormal and progressive writers in the FINALS?

Disclaimer: To put it plainly... A tournament with plenty of no-shows can NOT seperate the fact that this is truly a dope championship.


~Seymour~

Began his tournament dimanteling a Peter McPuffington who him self dropped a well rounded with a morbid overtone as well as a dud. The fact that he beat Adonis in shut out fashion is a bit remiss to me. Seymour then went on to destroy Siu Mi, [VividlyVague] which may appear being another easy win, but in reality is simply a testament to the caliber style writer known as_________. Butts Has had a very “win abundant when No-Show losses are removed” record over the years. He wound up paired with SlutMachine [Objective] in the semi-finals and again advances in shut out fashion, which by the way another story, making the finals against Adonis,Objective and Vividly Vague with out having a single vote cast against him.


~Richard Schwartz~



“Richard” had one more no-show victory than Seymour in his path to finals. Schwartz met Template [Oats] who is fresh out of this previous AOWL season holding an elite record including multiple mid-season title defenses. This 6-2 victory was then followed by a 5-0 victory against Puple Puke [Atheist]. Richard Schwartz has long been a very talented and successful writer when disregarding his lack of AOWL appearances.


The Preview
Schwartz vs. Butts

Stylistically neither of these writers are not afraid of venturing out into uncharted depths and create something “different”. If you were to exclude (I know, cheating right?) each competitors no-shows from AOWL record they would have some what of a 88% win rate with over 18+ battles. Enjoy the ride boys.



Top Five Verses

Honorable Mentions

Purple Puke - The Loner
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=86632

Richard Schwartz - Joey Fatone
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=86635

Template - I'm Gawd
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=86636

Siu Mi - We Are Free
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=85044

Gaseous Snake - Journal: Secret du petit Poucet
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=85040




#5
Seymour Butts - Evil Good
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=86629



"The ages cover the broken steps. Death and trauma's irrelevant,
as children play on a field, in harmony with the fauna and elements
Evil's still one or two epochs away-
on the other side of joy and Nirvana's benevolence."



#4
Gaseous Snake - Log OFF


"Glom to the ejaculate of being so right. Golem with a ring in his sight.
You're a problem solving, all encompassing God with divinity's might.
An Infinity Gauntlet, with service from Sprint giving you the nerve to object;
In your hand every word that's printed, mint with a recursive subtext.
Get emerged in the most perfected of tech. Fuck insight, fashioned by you
You're backed by the truth. A squawk box for a wiki's facts on your tube.
Each spoken word cited. Cultured, with the ease of hitting free throws;
The least ignorant isn't determined by intellect, but the quickest keystroke."


#3
Seymour Butts - Little Tiffany
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=88236


Butts wrote a tale of a whore, touched on what changed her life and how she became a porn star. This shit was rather vulgar and yet very informative. The imagery, no matter how gross in a sense, (cum scene) were writen rather well. Even the young girls up bringing and background held it's own weight. I really did like this verse for many reasons, but the most obvious to me is simple, I really do enjoy the darker more sinister side of life, pictures and writings, so for that reason alone I would have gravitated toward this verse. Then add to the fact that the writing was actually good....Well there it is.


"Half of her face is glued to the bed, she's holding her sheets
the cameraman: "aww yeahhh!!! a bit faster, then explode and release"
lascivious, lewd - he busts upon her glistening boobs
her head jerks, avoiding the sparkling vitreous hue
she looks up smiling - this motherfucker's hideous nude
but greenbacks give credence to this ignominious ruse"


#2
Richard Schwartz - The Incendiary Crimes of the Rogue Thomas Hinchliffe
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=89378


Richard Schwartz wrote a tale of old, a saga of a man riding boats from port to port a la train cargo, with the sole purpose of finding a women and seducing her just to rob her blind. The writing itself derserves praise. What I mean is the writer voice and sheer evident talent of just pure writing in a top notch form...


"In a Michigan harbor, our villain slipped in with the cargo
On a clipper stocked with liquor set for a shipyard in Chicago
Where his wistful bravado ensnared an unsuspecting dame
All bereft and in pain, the recently-widowed Tessa Tremaine
She was alit by vile Hinchcliffe, all puzzled by his puppetry
Felt guilt for her poor Wilt, but found comfort in his company"


#1


Seymour Butts - The Trolley
http://netcees.co/showthread.php?t=89379


Butts is a recurring theme in this portion, which you will find out soon enough. As I'm writing this I honestly wanted to put this as number one, but it was just too short to be higher on the list. Being short isn't bad, but it just didn't have enough depth to contest with some of the other verses IMO. Seymour wrote about a Earthquake, more specifically a couple of people riding on a Trolley in S.F. During the Great Earthquake. The writing was pure, and imagery as crisp as you'll ever see.

"The trolley car tips...fear peaks and time warps to a crawl
the conductor's shriek morphs, now he morbidly drawls
atop one of these welcoming rises and loitering falls -
the hand strap - it swings away as nature bouyantly calls.
Johnny stretches and grabs, the car's wrecked in the crash
there was no blood before, but now in seconds - a bath"


*Disclaimer: Yeah, I picked the best two verses as the winners of the finals, sue me.



The Interviews

Adonis
Richard Schwartz
Seymour Butts


Hello boys, how we feel about being voted into the finals of a ALIAS TOURNEY? I mean it has to be more rewarding then making the finals in a regular tourney yeah?


Yeah it's cool, I feel like I've just closed the gulf between earth and nirvana and entered the latter through an iridescent PORTAL. It's more rewarding in a way, I like the suspenseful aspect to it....................



Yeah, it feels particularly wonderful. Although, I don't think the topical community is as prone to dickriding as the battling community is (which is alot), and everyone basically pinned everyone else's style out the gate. Either way, I'm just tremendously pumped that I posted a verse in four straight weeks. That's gotta be a record.



How do you feel about the topic hand picked for you both? I chose that because I felt you both could not only take it in a different direction but use your respect strengths while doing so.



Fine by me. I would've liked something more visually engaging, like a futuristic dystopia or an intelligent underwater civilization. Something mind boggling. This pic can lead to minds being boggled though, 4 sure.


It's open to interpretation, which is the most important part. Last week, I struggled trying to write about The Great Fire because there was very little chance to differentiate my verse from my competitors. Luckily, I'm a genius.

I was contemplating on whether or not just having NO topic for the finals. So either you two would agree to the topic yourselves, or simply not have a topic and write whatever the fuck you wanted to. How do you feel about....

1. Letting two competitors chose their own topic?
2. Not having a topic and allowing the competitors free range?


1. I'd be cool w. that if the mutually agreed upon pic/phrase/topic was cool.
2. Na that's wack. People can post pre written shit then. I doubt my competitor would in this case b/c he's beast, but starting with the same topic is cool. Allows readers to see the creative contrast of two minds.


Ehhhhhhh, I personally prefer the format of multiple topics that competitors choose from - that way there's something for everyone and people can write to their own strengths and it brings out the best in everyone. Choosing your own topic or having no topic, there'd be no originality... most people aren't really that imaginative and would just come up with serial killer verses or existential manifestos and shit like that that you see all the time. Although I hate the journey, one of the main components of a topical is narrowing down your personal take on a specific topic, pic, phrase, etc. It's hard to settle on, but it's what sets this type of competition apart. That's why I hate the criticism that you went "off topic" - unless it's absolutely blatantly a recycle job, you never know where someone is going to take a certain subject and what they bring to the table.


I definitely feel like you two had the best verse for verse tournament thus deserved to make it here. I know that you both feel the same way, but in your opinion who had the third best tournament?


Imma give it to template. He dropped the best portrait of a textcee type joint i've ever seen and that deserves recognition. He was neck and neck with gas for third until gas no showed. The extra temp wrote gives him the edge.


Seymour was the only entrant that I figured I'd see in the finals. If it's any indication, Template was the opponent I feared most writing for because his first week drop was outstanding.. unfortunately, when facing him, it was my weakest drop of the tournament because the topic was straight scrotum.



I assume you both know who each others real identity's are by now. Have you guys ever battled? If so, outcomes?



Na, never battled but I respect him.



I don't know who this guy is, but it hasn't stopped him from PM'ing me asking about my writing habits and shit. How long my verses take... what my work schedule is like... all this weird shit. I understand that he's scared and wants to get inside the mind of a topical god, but that's infringing on my personal time. Leave me alone.



Tell me I was a good MOD and why? Expect this answer to be edited if I'm painted in the wrong light.



You are a horrible mod and should be pulled down a golf hole into looney toon land and get bodied on a basketball court by the monSTARS. Reason being religious topics are awful. fuck that was annoying to write about.

Na, all bullshit aside I'm appreciative of your work. You're doing this consistently along with working I assume and that takes dedication and respect for the art. My only qualm was the religion topics but whatever. Diversity would've been cooler.


You're a shitty mod for including this question.




I feel strongly that Seymour had the better run in this tournament...How does that make you feel?



I read that and it gave me random boners throughout the day like a 14 year old. Appreciate that shit dunny.


That's cuz you're a hater and shitted on all my verses. Every round you motherfuckers basically said my verse was "beatable" if I had a better opponent. Pretty harsh criticism from text novices. Also, it doesn't serve your overall tourney well by belittling the entries.. don't act surprised when voting attendance is atrocious in the finals. Gotta learn about self-promotion, chump!

But yea, Seymour is decent - the only verses in this tourney that slayed were Seymour's week one and Template's week one drops (and everyone I wrote). It's like everyone was scared about facing a beast in Week One and then once they knew their competition, the writing level dropped down to their opponent. Might've been interesting to change aliases for everyone each round to keep it fresh.




If you were stranded on a island and could only take 4 catalogs of writers from any website be it battler or topicalists in any era...Keep in mind these four catalogs are the only thing you will be reading until you die...Who are they?



Black D for creativity, he's the best topicalist out there. Sacrifice to keep my mind sharp bc he's so dense. The rest are toss ups to me. Maybe soulstice or somebody like that. Dunno.



Obviously you would die pretty quickly on a desert island. "Yo, Adonis, let's go find some food and clean drinking water" ... "Hold up, I just gotta finish critiquing this Lars verse"

I try not to be a fanboy of this shit - it helps me maintain my own voice. But I'd say Cimmerian and Sacrifice are really the only two writers I've ever been envious of for their considerable talents. A lot of the dudes people go gaga for just don't do it for me.



Was there ever a battle in this tournament where you felt like scared about going into the voting? I mean before the votes were cast, but after both competitors posted, was there an instance where you thought you might lose?



Na, I felt I had it in the bag, no offense to my competitors. Maybe they can raise their level, but I j peeped their work in the tournament and when I had something I was pretty sure would oust them I submitted. I'd take maybe 3-5x longer on a verse for an elite opponent. Also would write out an outline maybe and take notes beforehand. I go in nigga like prisoners go in on assholes, u feel me??? No gay shit though.


I was worried vs Temp because the topic sucked and it was tough to get motivated for something so shitty. That's why the battle sucked, Adonis. Temp went up 2-0 and I knew there was a chance that battle could go either way - I told him as much. Fontunately everyone came to their senses and voted me through. The dumb shit was me and Temp were all friendly about it, then once he lost he started posting a bunch of whiny bullshit about how I went off-topic and blah blah blah when his verse was like 6 lines. Don't be bitter, be better. Homey.




I know you both are competing in the short-verse tournament...Any thoughts on that thing whether it be predictions or in general? I already wrote my verse and it's currently opened for voting ;) but I enjoyed writing it because I felt I could condense more.




I think it's cool. Creative inspiration comes differently in that format. I think you can actually keystyle a masterpiece if you're on point because stroked of inspiration that are short lived can possibly be captured in such a short format. I dropped and my opponent is shook I think. Doubt he'll beat me.



It's a seriously tough challenge because your premise matters so much more. Sometimes in topicals you can win out with a weaker topic if you have solid rhyme mechanics and flow and shit. In the Short Verse Tourney there's no space to develop things, so you have to win it out the gate with an eye-popping angle. That's the hardest fucking part.


Do you have any advice for your opponent? What would it take for him to beat you?




Adderall and an all nighter, or take a day off work and write j pretend you're sick. BETTER HOPE U DON'T GET WRITERS BLOCK LIL HOMIE..................



A gun and my address.


Alright boys. Best of luck to you each, you both truly did deserve to make it this far. Anything in closing?



Na I'm tired af from work and j wanna scarf a huge meat pizza. Peace nigga.


I'm watching portuguese soap operas. It's how I stay sharp.




A who's who
The Rundown


WolfDick @YDK had a rather poor showing following his “Claim To Fame”? Miracle run to the AOWL season 3 finals.
TigerSpitz @Split wrote a verse that I don't remember currently. But he voted against me this week so why would I?
SlutMachine @Objective had a decent outing before becoming one of the step stones to Seymour.
Peter McPuffington had a one solid verse before floundering in butt's wake. And @Certain please be the sole voter using a single word deciding me verse pent rd. one. Thanks.
Siu Mi had a top 5 tournament/ top four to me, including the very rare vote from Adonis. Good shit @Vividly Vague
Helix likes boy both in relity and @Firuative ly speaking.
Alfred Kipling is @Deadman whom I've read maybe, six times. Including one of the more memorable verses I will recall in his losing efforts against Lars in the Winter Topical Tourney.
Piiz was @Nigma who PM'd me a verse and I don't recall it.
Jhene Aiko had a solid showing being on the losing side of what turned out to be closest match of the tourney. @Pent uP
Purple Puke was @Atheist, a guy that impressed me as I've never really read much from him actually trying.
Balance was @timeless, again someone who wrote a short verse that I don't recall.
Lord Sephiroth was King Ra. Aka Jah and had a lackluster showing.
Template was @oats and created a bit of a streak in going deep in two consecutive Playoff/Tourney runs.







Closing Rant


Certain is gay for BigBaby and @kannon 's voice isn't Fingers across Chalk board annoying anymore. WTF??? This was a decent tournament. You know, a solid 6. That nice ass and decent tits but doesn't have the most perfect teeth and doesn't give the best head but is chill as fuck and drinks a beer. Yeah, she is fun for a bit, be we were just never made to last...That's this tourney. Once pissed on a relatively new LapTop because, while in LALA land, the corner of room is apparently the bathroom. I used it after that and often. I also accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet before I flushed and after I shat. I stared at it for a solid six seconds before grabbing it bare hand. You know that saying, "if you drop your phone in water leave it buried in rice over night"? Well that shit don't work. Anyways, I'm slated (Spl?) to help mod the up and coming AOWL season 3 which is projected to start just about the time A Short-Verse-Tourney A certain Joint is winding down. Enjoy life assholes, I'm in the dumps as I've now had to type this shit twice, the second time from memory.

A Big thank you to everyone who helped on a mag or dropped a single vote. I appreciate that shit more than you know

Last edited by Adonis; 08-29-2014 at 02:07 AM.
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Old 08-28-2014, 11:39 PM   #2
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I'm so fucking sorry the layout and shit isn't tits (epic and proper)

I accidently deleted the entire mag I was posting and had a very little bit saved, the rest was off of pure memory

And I'm high!!!
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Old 08-29-2014, 04:41 AM   #3
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Good mag. @Richard Schwartz no bitterness, I said in the chat exactly what I said in the pm lol, you had a better verse that wasn't on topic (at least not directly), whereas I had a more direct take on the topic but wasn't anywhere near finished. I think that's a pretty accurate depiction of the events - I would have been (pleasantly) surprised to have won.

At any rate, stoked for the finals, two of my favorite writers so I'll be reading and voting no question.
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Old 08-29-2014, 08:21 PM   #4
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Great mag, full kudos. @Adonis every single verse I wrote you voted against, so I wasnt sure if it was personal, either way Richards verse against me was fire, in fact prob the best verse ive read for a long time, had a Corey feel to it, the best man won :)
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Old 08-29-2014, 09:41 PM   #5
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Yo dope shit, can we make it Sunday morning tho in case I can't tomorrow? If not that's cool can prob find a way to post...basically done but my laptop j broke so gotta post somewhere else
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Old 08-29-2014, 09:42 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seymour BUTTS View Post
Yo dope shit, can we make it Sunday morning tho in case I can't tomorrow? If not that's cool can prob find a way to post...basically done but my laptop j broke so gotta post somewhere else
As long as it's cool with Adonis and Ra.
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Old 08-30-2014, 02:56 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seymour BUTTS View Post
Yo dope shit, can we make it Sunday morning tho in case I can't tomorrow? If not that's cool can prob find a way to post...basically done but my laptop j broke so gotta post somewhere else
Final Due Date is Sunday bros.

@Richard Schwartz @Seymour BUTTS

Whoever does not post by then will get me erect 3 1/2 inch dick bouncing across their outer cheek, cause that's bomb.
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Old 08-31-2014, 11:03 AM   #8
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Sunday is fine.
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Old 08-31-2014, 03:03 PM   #9
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good looks on the ext papichulo
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