07-24-2024, 11:12 AM | #1 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
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TTT FINALS: SYMETRIK vs. ETHERWAVE
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07-24-2024, 11:45 AM | #2 |
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Heard
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07-24-2024, 12:20 PM | #3 |
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what is this, a picture for ants?
cheque my friend Last edited by symetrik; 07-24-2024 at 01:07 PM. |
07-24-2024, 12:55 PM | #4 |
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07-26-2024, 02:32 AM | #5 |
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Nostalgic Dissociation
"He had always been such a benevolent ghost-all these years he spent irrelevant to a malevolent host. His fears geared away from the evidence shown. (His) face mirrors how he's still stuck in his throes. (He) used to be king. At least a small prince on his throne. Now he's just a cry that got stuck in (His) throat. No lullaby, for the boy, that nobody knows. He lay inside of (His) mold, paralyzed in the dark, he was cold. All of the reaching out led (Him) home, where (He) felt the nostalgia taking (His) bones. " Memories (He) could taste, in (His) sight and his nose. (He) felt (Him)self, being, not quite alone. Left with an emptiness, (He) had never known. -(He) felt out of place, smaller than ever,- (He) was out of his zone. It's like (He) could remember the weather- sky all whites and golds the day his mother brought him his first telescope. -(He) almost started to float.......away that day her bangs too long, were in the way as he sat and watched her fold their clothes, just waiting for the end of May. -That same spring, he almost froze, afraid, those sneaky sips of coffee, had surely stunted his growth. Same age. He stopped thinking girls were too gross to play. - Either way, it was then, that (His) world began to change. When death arrived and grief came here to stay. Somehow (He) put it all away. Now, again in this place, he feels so small in (His) old frame. (He's) only human. Though (His) aura is a darker hue. And (He) is barely still a man. He left his inner child bottled, unhealed in a can That broken boy inside never even had a chance. Somehow that one moment, had stolen, all his joy. Made hopeless all his plans. And still to this day, he is just, the shell of a boy. Just the outline of a man. |
07-30-2024, 12:05 AM | #6 |
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some days are no better than others I played with sci-fi trains as a kid; and what I imagined wasn’t classical magic; it was electrically charged carts that were carrying coal to celestial bodies that were several centuries apart. They were made of the carbon of dark stars and specially marked parts to avoid paying the toll of the heavenly lobbies that they enter and depart. I used to put my whole heart into the game, and my grandma used to help me make the suits. She taught me to always start in the frame and then find the right way to break the rules… I was trying to shake my terrestrial roots when I signed up for the Space Force, a loon dying to wake up in a spaceport with the rest of the troops and set a straight course for the moon, but it was soon after the Challenger went boom that they grounded the noobs and when the news spread, the new heads found new beds in Army platoons. I was starting to lose hope in the halogen torchlights, but the postcards from my grandma helped as I fought fear; and I parted the gloom with tickets for short flights heading home for the holidays: I always brought beer for the icebox, from Hartnell perfume and sitting-on-the-porch nights, to warm days, out on the lawn, weeding the dandelions and hawksbeard… it always felt like I had to leave the moment I got here, back to the trepidation and car repairs, back to the old-school gangster flicks and practising my pick-fights-across-the-bar stares… but it eventually ends. My grandma had an old Bel Air from ‘56, and when I got out, she gave me the keys. I got my fresh prints on the wheel, slicked back my hair, and began living the dream, but it took me about three weeks to roll with the wrong crowd, and instead of wanting to leave, I kicked rocks with the crew until ops planted a pressure-sensitive bomb in my seat. the feeling of heat washed the oxygen out of my lungs, and I couldn’t see far, but I finally realized I was destined to die young as we arrived at the ER. I should have just gone to space camp instead of digging myself a deeper grave. I knew I was dying, but didn’t know where I’d go… did I belong in either place? my grandma leaned close: ”You’ll always be my little boy no matter your age”, ”and if you die, I’ll probably follow you soon, so if you see me in the ether, wave”. |
07-30-2024, 02:32 AM | #7 |
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OPEN FOR VOTES!!!!
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07-30-2024, 09:49 PM | #8 |
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Interesting battle here.
Ether - I really enjoyed this piece but imo it is ,idk how to say it, it’s not really what I look for in a verse. It’s beautifully written but it’s not hip hop. And topicals don’t necessarily have to be but I prefer rhymes that can be read to a beat. This feels more like I guess you would say poetry or spoken word. But putting that aside I liked it. Even though you tend to tackle topics in such a vague way. I like more of a direct approach. So as you could see I’m quite torn here, I liked it but it’s a departure from what I typically look for. Sym - you switched up styles on us here. Which I think was a bad idea. You really abandoned your usual technically advanced rhyme scheme and used a much simpler one here. Also your take on the topic didn’t really pull me in at all. Imo this was your worst verse of the tournament. I think you realized you were facing an opponent that does things differently and decided that you would do things a bit differently yourself. You tried to beat ether at her own game. And that was a mistake. I think ether was able to connect to the topic better and despite being so vague in her story telling had more emotion in her verse. And I had more fun reading hers. Vote - ether
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08-03-2024, 11:37 AM | #13 |
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I’ll try to make time tonight to vote
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08-03-2024, 06:21 PM | #14 |
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Etherwave
Cute story about a boy who lost his mother, grew into a emotionally unavailable man and started being pulled towards the past to face his inner child. Cute flow. The one syllable rhymes disgust me though. You really need to work on that. Symetrik What a beautiful story, I don't think I rated it much to the picture other than adding the toys into the story which I honestly thought was so fire. And did you sneak diss your opponent. That's was cute. I liked it. All in all Mvgt sym, as his was just overall written better even though ethers was more emotion inducing, you outshines with your perfectionism, taking your time, and having a more beautiful Piece. Good Luck to you both. |
08-04-2024, 05:38 PM | #15 |
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We both win! Yayyyyy lol
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08-04-2024, 10:45 PM | #16 |
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This is tough both creative with topic
Both opener decent both flow nice and smooth I felt like Ether vs more creative compare to Symetrik Vote-Ether |
08-06-2024, 03:00 AM | #17 |
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I was tagged four times, about half the number of times that Lars has ducked me over the years, so I decided to read the verses instead of do work I should be doing.
Ether: I liked the use of parentheses to mirror the image and make concrete the idea of identity being within a container, though after a while it became a little distracting -- sometimes less is more when you're trying something artful like that. Overall I thought your piece was a little too vague, but there were some nice turns of phrase, and the closing lines were lovely. Symetrik: the actual narrative was more plainly stated, but I'm not sure it made it any easier to follow. The tie-ins to the toys in the pictures were cool, and I appreciated the "ether, wave" bit. but I guess I was left a little unfulfilled by it all? like I didn't quite understand what had happened, or care to find out. wasn't a huge fan of the ABABAB rhyme structure in the middle, either. ummmm it's close but I think I like Etherwave's better.
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08-06-2024, 03:33 PM | #18 |
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08-06-2024, 10:11 PM | #19 |
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Yo, this was a nice final. Sym and Ether definitely came through with some quality verses. Now both incorporated THE TOPIC WELL.. madd props. Ether tapped in to the emotion as well as the psyche with color throughout. Sym came with a formulaic blend incorporating aspects of script writing in a straight foward manner utilizing all the aspects of the photo. This could be a choice of preference, but I wish sym would of initially approached the wireframe in a symbolic way. His finishing paragraph was perfection but not enough to wash the emotion depth and context of Ether's verse. Great job to you both.
Vote: Ether
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