LMAO OFFICIAL HOT OR THOT 2018 ROUND TWO MAGAZINE!!!!!!!

[sral]

HOT OR THOT 2018
ROUND ONE
MEGAZINE!

Welcome back you vile black-hearted pieces of shit mwahahahahaha!!!

Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh, but hey - so were some of you guys last round. That's what we're here for though, right?! I know I am. I trust you are too. Last round was absolutely hilarious! All pictures were kept back until battles verses went live, but that worked an absolute treat and went every bit as planned, keeping interest high in here from our board members and forum regulars. They're taking notice, and rightly so. I just wish more had seen the innovation during signups and took the plunge, but fuck it, their loss is your gain for jumping aboard with my for the journey!

Speaking of journeys, last round proved the end of the road for eight of our fallen martyrs while eight more avoided the fork in the road and cruised into round two. We picked up some new passengers along the way, while some of those in the driving seats initially ended up falling asleep at the wheel so we had to designate new drivers to keep the bandwagon rolling. Lol. My tedious analogy ends around there for this one, so let's have a re-cap of what went down in round one and how that leaves our brackets looking!


ROUND ONE RECAP

Silver, Adonis, Orc, Destroyer, and Seth Schnozzberg all needed replacing (which threw our brackets and seeding out slightly) but fortunately they were all replaced early enough that the tourney could still continue without losing any momentum. HUGE props to Infiltrate, Muff and Joe Boston for stepping up to kill shit on short(er) notice and adding more weight to the contenders we had involved! Silver, Adonis, Orc, Des and Seth will not be allowed to take part in any future tourneys ran by The Pres. Sorry bruhs. Thems the rules and I made you all aware of that prior to signing up. I'm a man of my word. The loss of Orc was a downer, no doubt, he was a power play for HoT18 but the additions of Muff and Infiltration in particular made things a lot more interesting. The remaining contenders, and the last minute replacements, all put in a great effort and I was very pleased with the results here, with 15/16 showing to make round one an undeniable success considering how many had to be swapped in and out this round. Let's take a look back on round one and how they all faired against Larstrodamus' predictions:

Barcotic vs 2Tripple0

2Tripple0 dropped what many have agreed was a career-best verse for him personally. That deserves some credit to him at least. He was up against a beast in Barcotic though and this was only ever going to end one way in truth. Much respect to 2Tripple0 for making a fight of it and going down with a roar rather than a whimper. He stepped up where many others would have slumped in their seats and backed out. This guy is a G. His girl was way better looking than I think any of us imagined too. LOL. Barcotic won out 7-0 in the end, as Lars predicted.

Nick James vs Killing Spree This was probably my favourite battle of the week to be honest. Absolutely crazy to read with both going INNNNNN no doubt. Nick James' pic submission alone was fucking hilarious and while I preferred Killing Spree's more aggressive attack, Nick's verse has the creativity to it to match fire with fire and give us arguably the battle of the round. This was dope people. The voters went back and forth with who won, it was a real slobber knocker and ended up with ? pulling two clear at the end in time for us to close the round out and set up the Elite Eight. Unfortunately there had to be a loser, but we were all winners with this one. The battlers both showed out, the voters enjoyed a close contest, and LULZ were had all round. This the kind of shit this tourney was meant for. This right here, yo. Huge respect to these two guys for putting on for real. I loved this shit. ??? advanced in a tight one.

Diablo vs Useless - In what has to be one of the biggest headaches of round one, first Orc was forced out of the battle with Useless, then Useless uploaded his picture to some website that didn't allow hotlinking of pictures, then Useless went AWOL forcing Diablo to write to a picture that looked like Useless but wasn't, then Useless resurfaced to promise he would post and after multiple thread closures and thread title editing, the battle went down. Only to see Useless go 4-0 down before complaining about just about everything until I tired of him being a herb and DQ'd him I should have done days ago anyway. Sheesh. Don't do this to me again guys! Anyway, as much as I love talking about myself and how good my verse was, I was just glad another battle went down in truth, well. Up until I DQ'd him at least. I'm a pretty chill mod when it comes to due dates and extensions etc as long as people don't take forever. Useless did nothing but cry and whine even though I gave him every opportunity to GET A BATTLE UP even after his opponent dropped out, his lack of a pic, and then him going past the deadline with no excuse or apology or good ole common courtesy to say "Hey bro, been hard pushed at work, what's good with an ext?". He was just generally all round sucking the fun out of something that was meant to be just that. And he STILL lost. I have no shame. Fuck that herb. Mwahahahahahahahaha!


Zelph vs Objective: This was an odd matchup on paper, seemed like an AOWL battle when you read the names but I'm thankful to both for taking the time. Both came with 20 lines and insulted two pictures each, Zelph putting up some models photo shoot pics and Objective opting to share a picture of his ex riding a camel LOL! It seemed like both had a lot of fun with this, the deciding factor for me seemed to be Zelph's experience in the NBL. He knew what he needed to do to win, where Objective was maybe more used to the technical merit of the AOWL that doesn't seem to have as much emphasis placed on it over on the text battle side of things. This one divided opinion among the voters though, some loving Objectives approach with others favouring the more traditional steez For Battling brought forward. That was the difference separating the two here. After a close fought contest ? ultimately came away with the win but I can't see either dude being disappointed with the result because the votes showed just how close this one actually was. Zelph had the advantage going in to this and drew on that experience and knowledge to dispatch Objective here. Zelph won

Bleak vs Cred - Cred had been largely inactive all week since submitting his pic. Seeing as he's a mod here and had offered to help me run the tourney or help out, I figured he was good to his word and would be showing. He sent in his pic early too, so all indications were good, but ultimately he didn't turn up. Bleak was pretty vicious here actually, better than his last pic battle I saw vs Swerve by far. This was harsher. He dissected the picture apart and on that form he's a problem for sure, I'm looking forward to seeing his progression actually as he had a good run in the BA tourney recently too and that run of form seems to be carrying over into this. Good shit, Bleak!

Jay Welsh vs Schadenfreude

This battle was pretty crazy too IMHO. Schad wasted no time getting his verse in to me, sending it ASAP at the top of the week. Crazy skill. Both brought some comedic clowning which we all love, both almost transcending the pics at times to bring out those LULZ and while I wasnt surprised at Jay coming away with a win over what is a big name in Schad, the manner in which he won was all the more impressive with a huge 5-1 margin in his favour. He almost swept Schad here and that's crazy when you think Jay is still competing in the BA newbie tourney right now. This was a huge step up from him. He's got bars. I think if he cleans up that wording and gets his consistency to where he's throwing haymakers constantly, he could be a threat. You've been warned. Don't sleep on Flo yo.

Suthaveli vs Infiltrate

This was another battle with a late replacement seeing as Silver's retarded ass signed up then didn't post a pic of he ex at all LOL. Luckily we had Infiltrate in the reserves and dude is a monster. Suth did well here actually, this was another tight battle that had voters going back and forth over who won. Inf had a DOPE ass fresh Dark Web line that I loved and Suth had a funny Pirates of the Caribbean bar that was illy. Did Inf share a pic of his ex WITH ANOTHER GUY THAT WASNT HIM? Surely not, but NC folklore will probably say otherwise from this point on in every battle he has for the foreseeable future. The battle was tied up before Inf decided to gracefully step aside and allow Suth to continue on into round two. Much respect to both battlers here and Inf remains THE FUCKING MAN, even if he wasn't the man in the pic he shared. LOL!

Muff vs Joe Boston

This was a great battle between two of our last minute stand ins, both came correct by maxing out on the line limit and then some. There was fire from both camps, the edge going Muff's way largely due to his wording being so precise as conceptually these two were pretty evenly matched in fact. You can't fault either of these guys for showing up and showing out really. Joe did a great job but Muff in this current form is sure to be a problem for anybody. Muff showed his potential AND that he means business, already promising Bleak a real match in the next round and insuring he's gonna max out on the line limit. That should be good. Muff 3.0 is back with a vengeance people, and in current form he's gonna prove the man to beat so far in Hot or Thot 2018!

******

The battles that did go down were fire, even the people that weren't expected to win made a fight of it and went down swinging. Again, much respect to Objective and 2Tripple0 for showing up and showing out. Bleak didn't deserve to get no showed but I promise him a good battle in round two that will test him further. The first round weeded out the weak, the second round is the elite eight which is where the real business end of the tournament begins as the finals nears in sight. You're all just two wins away from that finals matchup to be crowned Hot or Thot champion. With eight title crown contenders remaining, this is how you're looking right now:

BRACKETS
And it goes a little something like thiiiiiiiiisssss...

BLEAK vs MUFF

SUTHAVELI vs DIABLO

JAY WELSH vs BARCOTIC

NICK JAMES vs ZELPH


TOP PUNCHES FROM ROUND ONE



The pic mirrors our respective careers in text. Actually it's laughable
But u have one thing in common, both yall standed in the shadow of an animal
Zelph vs Objective
Bitch is the slutty version of a shit pose, not loving that bellybutton pig nose,
altrustic shit show so cheap she's still wearing her hand me down kid-clothes.

Objective vs Zelph

if u actually pulled these hoes Id say u grabbed a pretty lucky creature
friends dont let friends drive drunk.. but they sure dont let em sit in public lookin ugly either

Nick James vs Killing Spree
A felon & Crack whore makin a bright future W/Visions to Marry honest
Now U live life posting on a wall while ur baby mama challenges her shadow to a staring contest

Killing Spree vs Nick James

The fact that she has no tits no ass, proves that even more so,
like literally she’s got no body, fool you wifed up a sex doll torso.

Schadenfreude vs Jay Welsh
Id guess her bpm like ...120...an thats just havin a rest
So much red meat clogging up her chest theres literally two burgers poppin out of her vest

Jay Welsh vs Schadenfreude
Let me get this straight. my guy thought the tatt was really great?!
Lol try puttin the CrackDown. THAT'S 1 Dark Web no cyber cell would infiltrate
Inf vs Suth
I can picture her at the Salon. My mind can't escape da horror:
Stylist: What do u want. Her: Ever watch Pirates of The Caribbean? Stylist: Say no more

Suth vs Inf
"She said she was 220?" I doubt .. Its suspicious
Bro this bitch look 300 pounds n that's with half her lower body cropped out of the picture
Muff vs Joe Boston

Funny that this relationship plummit, this was one for the masses
How u tell everyone she was refreshing? Guess u looked past those coke bottle glasses

Joe Boston vs Muff
Her cheeks BOLO . I'd tell her to bite me if it wasn't a significant threat
Facts : I'm looking at a gold medalist if hocking a loogee was an Olympic Event

Muff vs Joe Boston

overpronounced teeth, white girl ass & zero titties to give a fuck about
with no buns and just chicken fillets... yo, that bitch a KFC double down
You love an outdoors type, I love cant-get-out-doors types so ur girl isn't a hottie
Flat earth enthusiast.. I don't believe there's a curve on the entire surface of that body

Diablo vs Useless

Diode be white knighting, "calm down useless she's a lady still"...
her wardrobe tho, manitee taking a beaten, u might as well be clubbing baby seals.
Useless vs Diablo

Many traversed those mountaintops, less as the thot age
Only range you're in now is an 80-90 percent one that you caught AIDS
He's thinking 'got a lady in the streets, freaky in the bed.'
Na, she a lady if you buying &she was sleepin w/ ur friends.

Bleak vs Cred

gross mf. save ur previous hoes for under the sheets, bruh
no one wants to see any tripple exes unless it's clothes to cover the beast up
Barc vs 2Trip

listen. ur taste in women is almost criminal, guy
its easy to give ur Exodus when she dresses as if she's from a biblical time

Barc vs 2Trip

this ur idea of sum freaky hoes? man im breakin dude
ur lucky this aint a chess match.. itd take all 4 them bitches just to make a boob
Nick Jasmes vs Killing Spree

Droppin hot shit? Stop it! Come out of pocket wen u frail, dummy
Bet u told her u fuk W/Dimes, & she spent the night bent over scrounging change for bail money

Killing Spree vs Nick James

HOT OR THOT?

So we had some hotties and some thotties last round. Let's take a look at their ranks from best to worst, since that's more amusing than the alternative IMHO. We got some crazy ass entries and some ugly ass bitches his round, but we begin our journey with Cred's no show and the chick he decided to post looks like some bad bitch he found on Instagram. The Gun Bar King no-showed so Cred gets decidedly less props for this entry anyway, plus he fooling no one into believing this his ex-broad for real. C'mon now bruh:



Zelph entered this bad ass looking bitch with a killer rack but probably no personality. I'm sure her two personalities were what drew him to her in the first place. The entire relationship I'd basically just be speaking to her tits. And I'm more an ass man in truth so that's no small feat. Absolute filth. Zelph fuck with straight butterfaces though. Body hitting a nine, face hit with a nine iron. Ain't no way I'd enjoy a blowjob from her looking down at that face bruh. She a straight hit it from behind and grab at them titties type bitch. I'd never pose for a selfie with her. Leaves make up in the living room and probably has hair straighteners plugged into the plug you use for your stereo WTF? Stupid bitch. That's not your plug. Fuck you.



Next up we got old burger nipples Rihanna at the beach with a retarded tongue thanks to Schadenfreude. This was one of the first pics to hit my inbox from people and I knew from that moment on we were in for some real fun this round hahahaha! Bitch was born a stones throw from the sun. Blacker than black. Slut and a smut. You can't make a hoe a housewife and with her, why even bother trying? Name prolly Rwanda or some shit. Braid your hair for you but make a noise slurping the entire fuck out of a milkshake at Burger King like she tryna swallow every last drop of jizz from your dickstraw. Uses semen as moisturiser because she heard it's good for the skin. Cocoa butter flavoured lube only. College dropout. Prolly a bank teller hiding her hoodrat upbringing. Would slap fire out of Schad if she knew he shared this.



Here we have Flo Real's fucking disaster with the clippers, shaving the side of his ex girls head while he date raped her. Or she was a sex doll? One of the two. Fucking blow up Billie over here. Amber Brose. She looks like one of the boys. Chose to work as in a male dominated industry to prove a point. Daddies girl but daddy wanted a boy. She's the son he never had. Can fix a car better than Flo can. He does the cooking. She not only wore the trousers in their relationship but she also left them all around the house for him to complain about while he attempted to wash and dry them all. She has her own man cave. Drinks six packs and eats steak at every opportunity. Meninist.



Killing Spree's ex seems just like a typical nothing special white bitch, ten a penny, kinda normal really, prolly works as a nursery nurse or a teacher or some shit and is pretty laid back until you wanna watch the football and she's got ideas above her station, thinking the two of you were gonna spent some quality time together which to her involved actual conversation about your day (her day) and how this woman at work is such a bitch. She doesn't think you pay attention to her and never listen to what she says (she talks to much). Capable of a stable relationship but pretty vanilla all rounder tbh.




Muff submitted this spectacled snow bunny he found when he moved out of town. It's predominantly a white only town but gradually he's said "Yes, master" enough time that's they've now come to the mindset he's okay, for a black boy. Basically they've decided Muff is an Oreo. This nerdy college bitch prolly fucked a black guy just to piss off her closet-racist family. She seems that kind of type to me for real.



Joe Boston was the only person this round to submit another guys pic. Weightlifting champion in six diff states. This girl strong as an ox, you can see it in her eyes. Absolute death glare. She would kill you in your sleep and think nothing of it. Crazy ass bitch, tattoos at tops of arms and probably a tramp stamp of something like a butterfly to add some femininity to her manly body. Attends weight watchers but seems to have always gained a pound or two at weigh-in day and doesn't know why as she's "hardly ate anything all week". Assess in mouth since 1996 but pain is temporary and money's money. Type to think boasting about being able to drink you under the table at the bar is a desirable trait. Steel toe cap shoes and a job in construction as site foreman. Awful.



Objectives ex look the type to leave reviews on Travel Norway. Her punctuation on point, always. This the kind of bitch who well travelled but has zero culture to her, nor personality. Her life consists of chasing memorable moments and updating social media with all the countries she's travelled to, making her life seem exciting to compensate for the fact she has less personality than her Nikon camera. She prob has a list of desirable qualities she wants in a guy and simply won't diverge from that, deluded into thinking this dream Prince Charming will eventually enter her life and sweep her off her feet to a desert land somewhere. Predominantly dates pale white guys and comic geeks, when black dick would be where it's at for her tbh. Life changing.



Inf's pirate bitch look like a stoned chick who play video games and vibe to drum and bass festivals. Pretty cool chick in short doses but realistically not a long term relationship prospect and has very low maternal qualities. You might grab a beer with her, maybe have a one night stand when drunk, but marriage has never been a possibility. She's the type you may have as a friend and agree jokingly that if you're still single at 90 years old you'll marry each other because fuck it, right? She can roll a spliff with the best of them but never got any of her own weed. Type to have a tobacco stained finger on one hand and mood ring on the other. Probably had a deck of tarot cards or a hookah hidden under the kitchen cabinet out of view of her mom and dad incase they choose to stop by once a year. Failed her exams, is late for everything and deluded into thinking she has artistic qualities. Doesn't wash up either.




Does Canada have some lower age of consent than England and America? This chick looks like a child. She should have a booster seat if she riding in that car. Legit not old enough to own a driving licence. This chick still collect My Little Ponies and shit. Baby faced immature schoolgirl, arguing with her parents on how "Life's so unfair" and even though she's dating a guy 15 years older, she should be allowed to see who she wants. YOURE GROUNDED. Absolutely dispicable this girl was even posted, she looks like she could be Barc's younger sister in truth. This is wrong on so many levels. He needs an intervention. Don't be this guy, kids. Chris Hansen coming to Canada real soon.



Suth posted up some kind of MILF of twenty years ago. Two decades on and she liking nowhere near as good as she did. This bitch let herself go, tbh. Moms probably fat as bitches with titties usually have fat moms. Her Caribbean patties taste fine though I bet. She the type to always offer you the extra left over dumpling first. Vagina smelling of rice and peas, along with jerk seasoning and disappointment. You gon catch a mollywhopping from Aunt Jemima if she ever catch you cheating though, so sneak carefully. African queen in this shit, prolly dressed in those old giant floral throwover tops that are loose fitting and hide their ever expanding waistlines. Dusty toes poking out from her sandals. Ewwwww.

Img]http://i64.tinypic.com/swwfwj.jpg[/Img]


LMAO 2Tripple0 sent this pic in of his ex bitch and for some insane reason I never expected her to look like this. It's Silver in another decade. You know she ain't getting her retarded ass up out that chair and just barking order at 2Crip to fetch her things within her reach. Bitch probably had him cleaning the entire house too to bottom from her throne. He wasn't dating her, he was her live in slave. Probably ends every sentence with a high pitches sound and elongated syllable so it always sounds like she's angry and shouting t you, even on the rare occasion she isnt. Three to four kids with diff baby daddies, all named after different wine brands because she thinks they're classy. One is even called Pinot Grij.



Nick James submitted his own baby mother. Wow. No shame to this slut, she wears no pants and wardrobe consists solely of grey jogging bottoms. Crack is her dirty little secret. Smoked during pregnancy, and after. Sees nothing wrong with it despite her obvious mental defects. Can't cook. Doesn't clean. Kid walks round the apartment with a nappy full of shit for hours before she thinks of changing it. Best friend wears hopped earrings and designer clothing, but lives in a roach infested apartment block with window boarded up. Constantly at odds with landlord over unpaid rent. Bad credit score. Dealers know her and have done since she was a baby as they also sold her father weed when she was born. Disgrace. Scummy mummy. Had Nicks baby to try keep him when she thought he might leave. Hood as it gets but she knows when to keep quiet and had your back numerous times when people have threatened you. Vile human being.





VERSE OF THE WEEK


I had to go with Muff here, dude been in ridiculous form so far with just bar after bar of heat and humour. This the kind of shit we needed, and it's all the crazier still to think he almost sat this one out only to replace someone last minute and end up not only involved but making it to the second round after maxing out on the line limit and slaughtering the Weekly Roast we ran too. The Muffin Man is the one to beat right now in my eyes and this verse was classic Muff this week, destroying Joe Boston's ex with consummate ease. Damn. It's great to have him back.

Originally Posted by Muff

Quite scary n damn. this girl is unneccesarly bland
Got the mossst fkd up Widow's peak. Paired w/ a face that screams "Ill never marry a man"
You met her in the Sandlot . she used to push you alot
N now you call her Babe. but This bitch look like a direct descendant of the Sultan of Swat
I can't look at her face for long bro . Peep the teeth in her mouth
N ion mean to Clown dog..but this bitch John Wayne Gacy esque smile is creepin me out
"She said she was 220?" I doubt .. Its suspicious
Bro this bitch look 300 pounds n that's with half her lower body cropped out of the picture
Seriously .. I suggest she should seek help
Bet u never flew nowhere w/ the bitch coz you knew youd prolly have to buckle her seat belt
Went from large to massive on you . shit caused abrupt division
I see u put a ring on it. But getting that bitch off? Ha, good luck my nigga
She's former military . but that retarded grin got her dignity flattened
Bih bottom lip going AWOL. her upper lip seems like its Missing in Action
Why u even post this pic? My godd. u shtoopid fam
U better shoot 4 a Takedown. Bih look like Ronda rousey n Brock Lesnar did a fusion dance
Her cheeks BOLO . I'd tell her to bite me if it wasn't a significant threat
Facts : I'm looking at a gold medalist if hocking a loogee was an Olympic Event
Ion mean to Snicker . but ur girl eats a few bars a day
With eyes that Pierce you....Anddd that to go box u been guardin from 20 yards away

BATTLE OF THE WEEK


This was one of those battles you thought we were never gonna get closed out either way as it seesawed back and forth with the voters in favour of one and then back to the other. Both brought absolute flames to this matchup and really put down an early marker for how things should go down in this tourney. This was round fucking one but could easily have been a finals match with the bars involved. Nick pulled ahead right at the death to make round two by the skin of his skinny white bitches asscheeks but goddamn was this battle good man. We appreciate you both for killing shit, Spree included, these two are fucking pit bulls with jaws locked and neither wanting to let go for real:

Originally Posted by Nick James

somethin looks familiar, like a bad start to a horror/strange thriller
their preparin to make The Descent.. down the lonely road of alcohol n pain killers
u dont evn kno these hoes, man ima take it to this guy
u posted so many pasty bitches i can damn near see straight thru this lie
I wuldnt trust these hoes with nothin, that one to the right is surely hyper
I know one things for sure.. atleast 4 bad ass kids are runnin around with dirty diapers
rumor has it ur a loser faggot, i mean this shit is silly really
theres so much budlight in these broads just about anyone culd get the dilly dilly
if u actually pulled these hoes Id say u grabbed a pretty lucky creature
friends dont let friends drive drunk.. but they sure dont let em sit in public lookin ugly either
looks like a fun time, I dont get why they took a trip on their own
its not exactly a girls night if you left the biggest bitch still sittin at home
u wont evn stand up for urself let alone a bitch, watch me roast n bomb em
Its funny u dont have any backbone.. thats all u n these bitches got most in common
this ur idea of sum freaky hoes? man im breakin dude
ur lucky this aint a chess match.. itd take all 4 them bitches just to make a boob

Originally Posted by Killing Spree

Listen you fuck you...
A felon & Crack whore makin a bright future W/Visions to Marry honest
Now U live life posting on a wall while ur baby mama challenges her shadow to a staring contest
Ass kills me cos the trash filthy, Smack hit till u down quickly
Ironic U were bout this Crack'N Cave Cos after 1 hit Ur life went down hill & got found guilty
& every thing u write is booty bro...& She got more talent as a nudist art
We know she aint ur ghost writer cos this shiting position ISNT more ass than u producing bars
Droppin hot shit? Stop it! Come out of pocket wen u frail, dummy
Bet u told her u fuk W/Dimes, & she spent the night bent over scrounging change for bail money
Yall creating a child is Vital, Fuk u & this trash thot
Some wear their heart on their sleeves, She uses hers as a target for nuts- takin back shots
U & her aint makin respect, Spree puttin chains round ur necks after words
Damn shame she a Bender, But thank god yall self respect died waaaay before that battler
Nick soft, After that Barc battle Ur kids Tick'd off, u poor bitch
U speak highly bout a Corner Raid When ur Baby mama shoulda Used a can of that to Abort Kid
But u didnt, as a father, this kids discrace
Her mother cant produce cheeks to love..No wonder ur daughter wont let u kiss her face

NO SHOW SHINE


Bleak was the ONLY motherfucker to get let down by his opposition last round as it was just too late to find him a replacement. We tried, believe me, but Bleak a real one and blessed us with a crazy verse that dissected the cadaver of Cred's ex like it was her autopsy and shit. He went in and beyond the picture he had as ammunition, surprising a lot of heads here with his drop, but I know this guy has a lot of potential and I've encouraged him to stick at In in the past. He has lime green coursing through his veins and is truly one of us, even if hailed from such terrible sites as LB previously. Lol. This guys ours now. We're keeping him here.

Originally Posted by bleak

Really

Yeah she thick but...


Many traversed those mountaintops, less as the thot age
Only range you're in now is an 80-90 percent one that you caught AIDS
He's thinking 'got a lady in the streets, freaky in the bed.'
Na, she a lady if you buying &she was sleepin w/ ur friends.
Fr tho, she thick bro. look Puerto Rican from the back
Like... the smell of a family 4 deep in a van w/ no windows cracked
So much heat in my mattress that I sleep w/ no blanket.
While you was snuggled up, heated covers &that^^^bitch hoe stankin
Her mongol fam stay in barns &that's the whore's trap, friend
All you'll find is Chlamydia where those horse tracks end
U don't know A Woman's Worth, thinkn she's Superwoman or Mrs. C
No One can do it better than me, &THAT's when Alicia missed a key.

ROAST WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT


This weeks roast was of what we thought was Adonis' wife, however it turned out to be some ex of his or some shit when he chickened out of posting his wife's pic for some reason. You can't blame him really, I guess haha! That said we had numerous entries, including some from guys not even involved with HoT but always welcomed! The standard was pretty high in all seriousness, dope verses from Infiltrate, Vulgar and Sour Joog in particular which made my job difficult but ultimately I ended up choosing Muff as this week winner.



I'm bored

Here's a statement or two. Don't wanna be mistaken as rude
But being built wrong must be hard to chew . specially when ur upper body is shaped like a tooth
Lets see . trashy look . slimy face . can't seem to get her diet straight
How the fk this bih look Spanish n Italian with None of the flattering attributes from either race ?
This sweaty bitch a wrestler . of this I'm not prepared to doubt
Looking like a Roddy Piper protege that the nigga was never everrr aware about
Adonis swears this is just a "back in his heyday" thot
But Houston we have a Problem . this bih shoulders wider than JJ Watts
Bitch watched the Winter Olympics ..couldn't get rid of the call
She's now an aspiring Figure Skater. But can't skate around the fact she has no figure at all
Ion wnna how it feels to touch her . don't need skills to fuck her
She will 'suck it up for a bill ' n her eyebrows more Drawn out than a filibuster
The closer I look ? The consequences leave me more dead
Liiike How the fk this bitch nose bridge manage to extend to her forehead ? xD
She playing Yugioh? Idc . id bust a nut on her hinee n tits
But she just pulled a trap card . N that shit reads "I have a Vagina that Drips"

Muff will get an accomplishment added to his username and a BRAND NEW ROAST will be posted this coming week for any and all comers to take part again, so stay tuned if you enjoy those taking place bruhs, shouts to everyone that got involved and dropped fire!


POWER RANKINGS


5. Suthaveli - Suth took the win over Infiltrate in another close run battle last week. It actually ended up tied in votes before Infiltration agreed to let his opponent advance. Their battle was ILL though with some funny shit dropped by the two of these guys. Suth had that Pirates line that was LULZ along with some shit about Inf's ex having a hook for a hand and whatever else. Suth knows what he's doing man, he just "gets" that NC type humour for comedic shit along with bars and that's what will carry him. He's fifth here but that's no disrespect, fifth place in the Power Rankings is still dope as fuck to me. He's somewhat of a sleeper actually as I don't feel he gets the credit he truly deserves so maybe this is me tryna wake him and the voters up to his potential somewhat too, subconsciously at least. We got love for the boy Suth out here man. You sleep, you die. Real shit.

4. Jay Welsh takes up spot number four, and I mean that with the greatest respect. He upset Schadenfreude last round to advance to the Elite Eight and while he may not be as known as some of the other names featured here, his run of form of late has seen him reach the finals of the BA tournament and now take out former RBL and LO champion Schad. It's simple really, sleep on him and you could well lose. You've only yourself to blame. Jay is probably still somewhat of an underdog here in truth, but a lot of people have commented on how much he's improved conceptually recently and it's starting to pay dividends for him finally. It's been a long journey for Jay but this is the best he's done and hopefully that streak continues for him and takes him even further. He's more here off merit than anything as he's the most improved of the other battlers left in the competition and has the potential to make semis if not the finals. How far he ends up getting largely depends on himself and how much effort he's willing to give from this point. There will be no easy matches from here on out.

3. Barcotic - Barc had a somewhat easy path to the Elite Eight being that he won his battle very early on via shutout and may be overlooked somewhat considering some of the battles that were still open at the close of the weekend, but make no mistake, Barc had fire in round one and I don't see him stopping any time soon. Mr Dual Word Wordplays means business and that's bad news for the rest of you when he's motivated. Barc is an NC Hall of Famer for a reason. Put some respect back on that mans name.

2. Nick James - With Nick coming off the back of a crazy seesaw battle with Killing Spree, the guy is on fire right now. He's a BA tourney finalist, he's been beasting in the Write Week shits regularly, he's battling like crazy and he shows no signs of slowing up. This guy is a problem. It was a tough choice between Muff and him for the two top spots, but make no mistake he could easily be there with Muff. The only reason I don't have him up top is because I felt Killing Spree edged him last week where Muff shut out Joe BostonZ both had good opposition, and Nick took Battle Of The Week with Killing Spree while Muff got Verse Of The Week. It was tight though, very close battle that could have swung either way depending on personal preference to me. Nick is a crazy ass creative battler man. I can't see many beating him in this imperious form.

1. Muff
Back with a bang after entering as a sub from out of nowhere, Muff returned to drop 20 lines of fire against Joe Boston quicker than some of the initial sign ups who had the whole week to write. The guy is Dohpe. Literally. He's repped the crew the best part of ten years all around the net before making NC his home, and after a short layoff he seems really hungry to reassert himself here. Hot or Thot seems ideal for his knack of picking a picture apart and dissecting it. The hock a loogie Olympic Event line he dropped was my personal favourite from round one, he slaughtered this past weeks roast of Adonis' (not) wife and Muff is already plotting his next win over Bleak in round two. This shows you just how motivated the guy is to take this one home. Will it be Muff's year? It could well be. Stay tuned to find out!



ROUND TWO PREDICTIONS


Muff vs Bleak: a motivated Muff the Monobrowed Monolith takes on Bleak in the first of our Round Two matches. This one has a lot of potential, a lot of voters commented on how brutal Bleak was last round in his no show bs Cred. Muff on the other hand subbed in last minute and dropped 20 lines vs Joe Boston, choosing to up the own line limit max in their battle and bringing one of the lines of the week in the process. Amazingly, Bleak is just 1-7 in the NBL whereas Muff has been champ of countless leagues across countless boards and knows exactly what he must do to win. The pressure is largely on Bleak here to match wits with Muff but this may be quite possibly Bleak's biggest battle on NC so far. This could be a defining battle for young Bleak if he can overturn the favourite. Muff tops our power rankings after round one so all eyes will be on him this round to see if he can continue that premise. I'd say Muff is the favourite in this one, 70/30.

Diablo vs Suth: You know all that nice shit I said about him earlier in the mag? Fuck ALL that. This guy a faggot. Diablo wins this one easily and no one ever hears from Suth again. Also his name is kinda like Seth's, but different, and Seth no showed last round after agreeing to fill in so double fuck Suth this round for that too. He gonna get this work. Trust me. And even if he somehow wins, I'll just DQ him like I did Useless and advance myself anyway. Diablo 100/0

Barcotic vs Jay Welsh: This one is a rematch of a recent battle from what I remember so there's some past history there at least and revenge could be on the cards. I always like a storied history to battles going down and this one made perfect sense seeing as Jay and Nick James are already battling it out in that BA finals this week too (vote on that shit when it's up bruhs, they our fellow competitors and deserve that ish). Barcotics entire life must be a constant stream of wordplay in his head. He literally breathed this shit. Few can come close when he's on his A Game and that could cause some trouble for Jay here. A winner for either guy is more than seeable and even though the smart money is probably on Barc because of his experience and longevity, there's no denying Flo's improvement over the course of the last few months, he's rose through the ranks and is fresh off a big win over Schadenfreude albeit that Schad never does well in pic disses lol. That's still a good scalp to his resume and one I'm sure he'll cherish up there with his best.

Nick James vs Zelph

This promises to be a crazy ass battle, both these guys survived last rounds 10+ vote feats and came out undefeated on the other side. These two have pics and ammo galore, very similar in that respect and that could make for a great battle here if both show up like we know they can and have previously. Both these dudes got bars. Both these guys got jokes. Only one has a pair of working lips but we don't discriminate like that out here though, Zelph the man. Nick on house arrest and Zelph prolly the one who put him there in all reality so this the time to finally get some revenge and really spit in that dudes face. This one got all the hallmarks of another slobberknocker and I know both gonna enjoy this round with fresh ammunition at their disposal to Dead their opponents with. I've prolly got Nick with the nod in this one but that really depends which Zelph turns up. This bout to be lit.


OUTRO




There we have it folks, round one over, eight down and eight to go! I promised you all this would live up to expectation, and again, I'll fulfill my end of the bargain so long as you guys uphold yours too! Let's not disappoint. Round one really set the bar crazily high but now the competition is fiercer and to advance you truly are gonna have to bring your best. No slouches. Let's keep this as fun as it has been so far and help make it the envy of all those that thought about signing up but ultimately kept their distance for whatever reasons. We're the most viewed forum outside of Discussion right now. We have all the interest, more so than the staple leagues of NC and everyone's observing this event to see what goes down. The spotlights on you all. The show must go on. Go out there and entertain like your lives depend on it!


LMAO and WTFs of the week



LMAO @ Nick James pic submissions this round!
WTF @ Useless proving his username completely correct. Again.
LMAO @ Schad's girls burger nipples!
WTF @ 15/16 people showing even with like 6/7 drop outs! Crazy!
LMAO @ how dope that first round was!
WTF @ KempoMRK not being around to see what he started here?!
LMAO @ Infiltration dating Johnny Depp
WTF @ Nick James getting head from a crack head. This guy has no shame.
LMAO @ Bleak going so in on Cred's ex.
WTF @ 2Tripple0 coming with a career best verse out of nowhere!
LMAO @ Barc admitting to getting his nipples chomped
WTF @ how ridiculous round two is looking to be now!
LMAO @ these other leagues and tourneys tryna compete with The Pres!

It ain't happening. Trust me.

PEACE!

[Kill Spree]

Dope shot man.

[bleak]

Muff ranked 1 I like that

[Kill Spree]

Yo lard you need a pic for a rnd two cypher?

[Amen]

niGGa said LARD, Lmaoooo

Good mag. Lol Muff 300 lbs bar slaughtered me again, LOL.

[For Battling]

DOpe mag bro

GOne @ lard

[Barcotic]

beast
props for this

[Kill Spree]

Wish I was still in this

[Amen]

Is it me or does Cred ex look like she could be that chick with a dick on Maury show revealing himself to her lover of 3 years? LOL

[sral]

Yo real talk I got a vid recorded for you guys too but the uploads aborted itself like 4 times now lol

imma keep trying though

[Incredible]

Good read, entertaining as always. Props to everyone who made it through.

No interview this time? @sraL those are always interesting too.

[Incredible]

Also If Nick James does end up not coming back, I vote for @Killing Spree to replace him. Feel like he deserves it. But who am I to say...just an opinion.

[For Battling]

Originally Posted by Incredible

Good read, entertaining as always. Props to everyone who made it through.

No interview this time? @sraL those are always interesting too.

No ugliest chick and no hottest chick section?

[sral]

I couldn't write anymore bro lol

I typed all this shit out on my phone and no one contributed but me aside from Inf helping select matchups lol

i got you though

[sral]

[For Battling]

Originally Posted by sraL

I couldn't write anymore bro lol

I typed all this shit out on my phone and no one contributed but me aside from Inf helping select matchups lol

ALl you had to do was ask and I would have delivered lol

[sral]

yo real talk though LOOK AT THE EFFORT I PUT INTO THAT SHIT

no one else doing that here lol

that mag deserves infinite reps

[For Battling]

Originally Posted by sraL

Lol dope. I’ll record a vid now for ya.

Also watched the chronicles of trolling Ben

[Kill Spree]

Originally Posted by Incredible

Also If Nick James does end up not coming back, I vote for @Killing Spree to replace him. Feel like he deserves it. But who am I to say...just an opinion.

this

and repped

[Incredible]

Originally Posted by sraL

yo real talk though LOOK AT THE EFFORT I PUT INTO THAT SHIT

no one else doing that here lol

that mag deserves infinite reps

Oh nah...I wasn't trying to down play it at all, major props for what your doing/have done.

If I'm being honest though, site should be more united activity wise though. Shouldn't be "oh this has nothing on the NBL" as if its a contest for which is better, is my one and only criticism. Not trying to complain, just saying...