gap year.

[Split Eight]

gap year.

i'm happy to provide civil camaraderie. sympathy. saddle me with the baggage.
sit & be sad with me.
depict me the anatomy of your body of work,
ink blots, like inch marks, on the thin of your door-
height vs height vs height
Rorschach's most intimate form,
morse code, followed by three dots,
type and untype til you decide what to write.
call it amnesia. i'm beside you tonight
wondering again why our lives are so little alike.
you're rambling on. the coffee grows bitter.
even though there's no touch of warmth left,
our hands cuddle our mugs like corsets:
the lace drawn into shallow breath,
face down in the shallow end,
float on like a dead man.
I can't stay long. old haunts,
fit like an old glove that was secondhand.
coals drawn, settled back, we watched
as the fire fought behind the mantle's glass.

[big baby]

nice! my friend has a blog about her gap year and it's weirdly interesting to realize how much funner she is than i?

this was obviously less fun filled adventures, and more intimate.

i see a few similar ideas and mannerisms in your writing from someone here, and a few others. i can see what you typed and where you thought certain things and the whole thing fills me with joy, from a writer and readers perspective. old haunts, usually doesn't really bode well, you know? if anyone or any author were to say old haunts, you'd be like EGH. and it was almost the case here. i think you could've made it a little less trite. a little more... fluid.

not to go on a tangent, but sometimes rewording can be beneficial, like, fit like a second glove, would've been cool. then go off that change in sounds and perhaps illustrate what you want to say a bit better (it was still conveyed pretty nice!) but it's a trick/tactic i use to help me out with my words and thoughts!

[big baby]

thanks a lot

[Vulgar]

Tapestry-like, providing a series of strung-together moments, but done with some emotional gusto. Interpersonal, where you create some sense of a bond with a partner and you're narrating it through symbolic and figurative language.

My fave part:

the coffee grows bitter.
even though there's no touch of warmth left

[Sammy]

ahhhh there it is

Rorschach's most intimate form,
morse code, followed by three dots,
type and untype til you decide what to write.

[Exis]

Originally Posted by Split Eight

gap year.

i'm happy to provide civil camaraderie. sympathy. saddle me with the baggage.
sit & be sad with me.
depict me the anatomy of your body of work,
ink blots, like inch marks, on the thin of your door-
height vs height vs height
Rorschach's most intimate form,
morse code, followed by three dots,
type and untype til you decide what to write.

Hey nothin' wrong with ellipsis bro, Lol this was dope...

Glad to see you postin' again fam...Shit was nice.

Stay upwards & all.

[Pharaohs Army]

i like the secondhand / settled back rhyme

[Wise Wiggles]

Very eloquent. Loved the mug/corset play. Ill be sad with you.

[Mr. J]

this was pretty cool Split, nice to see you are still around
one of the better pieces ive read (so far) keep it up man
Id quote something but this pretty smooth as a whole

[Split Eight]

thank u bros. your feedback is noted and appreciated