03-29-2019, 06:14 PM | #1 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,016
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
(Mischief Makers) Shake Shake
Through the eyes of a tiger stands a liar.
any survivors know that the pen is for hire. give birth to man, plans are no longer required. rise from ash, Prometheus has given you fire. you suffer from rage, caged in your ignorance a minimalist leading you to where division sits. while the lost hide their pains in syphilis. their overbearing alone reminds me of Sisyphus. I raise the gauge whenever the pens to page. their shortcomings covered by a tint of rage. motivated by loss so really there is no sense in change. figured its self abuse whenever one mentions pain. uselessly abstract, controlled by average plights minds catching light, reflected high off the satellite my pen ridiculous, a pharcyde gallery passin me by. all I see are clouds like cataracts in the eye. none above, all beneath thats a proper flip. a rocking raft let loose & dropped off the ship. lackluster acknowledgments hidden in faulty promises. bring the titan down with a cold shoulder in the waters calmness. dedicated products of simpler times, transfixed by life. fools gone misty eyed over their missing ties... wade the waters, hope, dream, make sure your wishing is right. plunge deep pussy, like the panties just slipped aside. martyrs are the worst when they cater to thirst. they suck like hard candy trying to savor the worth. consider every rappers dumb luck as the papers dispersed. watch that spirit float away...watch the savior observe
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
04-02-2019, 04:00 AM | #2 |
............
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,938
Battle Record: 3-3
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Your flow is pretty nice fam, you also laced this with some solid imagery...I thought the first 6 lines were dope.The rest was a really good read due to the word usage & wittiness...Enjoyed it J.
Keep doin' you bro. |
04-03-2019, 01:06 PM | #3 |
It Is I, Debut M.C.
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 12
Rep Power: 0 |
rise from ash, Prometheus has given you fire.
Dope. Agree this start of this was smooth. The flow of this piece stood out immediately to me. I raise the gauge whenever the pens to page. their shortcomings covered by a tint of rage. Nice.... my pen ridiculous, a pharcyde gallery passin me by. all I see are clouds like cataracts in the eye. tip of the cap to Pharcyde….Dig it... overall this was nice drop. again, the flow is damn near top tier. Stay Writing Fam.
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DEBUT M.C.
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04-07-2019, 12:06 PM | #4 |
nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,507
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788019 |
Dope nice to see rhymes from you again
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
04-08-2019, 04:31 AM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10
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- AOWL Season 5
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Mr. J, long time no see. I am glad you are still in the pen game and can see you are still at it as ever. You don't really exhibit any rust, so I assume you have been sharpening your lyrical knife. I bet you have improved as well. This was enjoyable, there are some highlights. I do wish to see how far you've pushed yourself, as I feel this isn't even close to where you are at now.
This couplet was beautiful- my pen ridiculous, a pharcyde gallery passin me by. all I see are clouds like cataracts in the eye. There is almost this sense of poetic musings in your writing now, and less focused on lyrical fixation, which is nice to see. You've mixed up and relaxed your writing. |
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