04-19-2022, 10:31 AM | #21 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,309
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
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Rep Power: 18197456 |
LLL Season 24
vs plethora
Your status is sealed guy. You a lonely ass loser who never knew what affection feels like Call yourself plethora online cuz you never meant a lot to anyone in real life I get my swing on like King Kong, I don’t think you’re gettin the picture You facing a monster and gonna get black eyes buuuut this isn’t The Witcher Needed extension after extension, that shit was the wackest decision All that carry on and you couldn’t get on with it… airline baggage restrictions & your record’s embarrassing. All no-shows & bullshit, - you’re phoney dude If you’re not hanging your head already? I’m about to do it for you in my trophy room You tell ur girl ur working a night job but really ur taking some guys in the mouth Living your life like a werewolf: gotta moonlight so the Lycan come out Your girl all over me & the homies, bending & tryna show her ass Her nickname Venn Diagram… just circles around and gets overlaps Gave her the whole enchilada x2, now I’m done calling her bro You gave her the whole inch a lotta times too - that’s all it can grow vs Fresh Quote Originally Posted by Fresh Bro I will shove my foot so far up your ass that the water from my kneecap will quench your thirst … theres a little sack called the bursa in your kneecap its filled with fluid … Only reason I know about the bursa is because I damaged mine many years ago Cringiest shit I ever heard, faggot… let’s just leave it at that You been opening your mouth on your knees wayyy before that beef in the chat Last contender match? You thought ur flows could square w/ Nash Tried to zip Code … Instead that little number really showed you where it’s at Went from xXFreshXx to .Fresh. to Fresh… really what more could you do? You dropped the accents, but making a name for urself STILL sounds foreign to you I’m here for your cash, pussy. Don’t even try that “no” ploy I’ll flaunt the TEC. U hear a pop n Fresh I guarantee ya hand over that dough boy And if it’s hand to hand combat? I’m beastin you easily Your idea of going mano to mano is catching venereal diseases repeatedly Might as well be that dude rapping about dragons and Able & Cain… Your rep’s burnt out & turned to ashes - now you incinerated the same vs Mimic Quote Originally Posted by Dominate Put a contract out on Bare. Have him jumpy & clammed up w/ sweat Street Fighter: got Ryu’s hair standing on end over a band on his head Quote Originally Posted by mimic Homie all talk. four eyes claim he's w/ gang but never shoot though till mim roll up & put those bands on his head like he auditioning for Naruto Mimic aka A Pig's Tie You knew your verse was garbage - went looking for lessons in Dom’s text Copied that line about Abandon reeallly shoulda done that w/ the rest of your concepts You’re here off no shows & nobodies. Don’t pretend you dope w/ pens dude U snowflake level. Try making noise at the top & cause an avalanche of votes against u Went 3-3 in the 1-2 league, - you’re a “champ”?! You gotta be jokin Forget a dope 16. I’ve seen enough terrible 2’s from u to convince me a toddler wrote them You got dome from one girl ever and it was obv she wasn’t that into it Funny - she had you on the tip of her tongue but tries really hard NOT to remember it This loser eats microwave meals cuz he’s broke & ain’t been a winner yet When I stab a few holes in membrane that shit’ll resemble his dinner prep This British kid’s getting finished quick - right hook heavy as anchors You ain’t seen a Pom go down this hard since his mom bent over & begged me to spank her Run his dome under my Porsche’s wheels if I don’t wanna spark the lead It’s Charlotte’s Web: these posters gonna see Pig w/ a Spyder ON his head Look at me & see a star; no-one’s topped the league faster Look at him & see a star; list of champions says Mimic* *Won by NS then lost the week after vs plethora Originally Posted by plethora Ext til March *roll eyes emoji* Heat’s modded w/ a longgg clip, you’ll be hearing that arm tonight Blast you into next month with that extension & I don’t need until March to write You want vengeance for our last battle? You still gon be hoping & waiting dawg This isn’t settling the score.. it’s giving it three lines of coke and a jagerbomb You sign out like a bitch when losing, - last week was the lamest installment I aint seen a Snowflake tank that bad since Ace Ventura was saving the dolphin That verse was fucking garbage. The result was a joke as well… No hope in hell - I told em get a Clooney just made a robbery for Plot … Oceans 12 Forreal, pleth a bitch w/ some bars. I got the Eagle in hand ready to send a barrage Palm-in the Dessert… make em disappear if he keep that approach - that shit’s a mirage vs Cody Nash Originally Posted by predictions Week 12 - Champ Match: Dominate (4-0) vs Cody Nash (8-2) Both of these guys are on a tear. Hoping for a classic to close the regular season. Dominate 60/40 There’s no comparing our text ability, really the suggestion’s killing me Yeahhh we both been on a tear – Me through the best in the league & you through what’s left of your credibility Damn near 300 battles.. honestly that score’s insane U been around the block, buster.. but only EVER been as relevant as that video store today & if we writing down our top ten – who’s best at battles n shit.. Trust me, the folks wearing MAGA hats the only ones voting Nationalist Lie & pretend you a fighter, but really you frightened of gloves On your toes and checking your 6 more than Spree’s podiatrist does Not rocket science to beat him – this shit ain’t nothing to master Ain’t seen such a failure for a Challenger since the space shuttle disaster Nash stay flaccid around women but for black men he’ll go insane When he sees Brothers Codirect… it ain’t a movie the Coens made Bet he salty over the fact that him winning is less than likely He’s muttering “shoo-in my ass…” and I’m like “Yes, precisely.” He got some stupid ass concepts he CANNOT be proud to display I’m lookin at every Kiever like “GTFO” - swear Russia’s about to invade His mom takes gangbangs for cash cuz money’s a major hurdle Tries 5 characters in diff positions looking for that green like she’s playing Wordle Noone’ll remember him, he’s gone w/ one shot to the mouth Kevin McAllister: clap at his face and see ThatKid forgotten about vs Letterman Originally Posted by Predictions One things certain, somebody is taking their first & last L of the season. I laugh at the idea of someone believing this clown’s better LOL - You’ll take the first and last L… i.e. you’ll be Leaving this Round Letter Ur first 2 bars against Spree were OK - rest belonged in the trash can, goof That Material went on the Wayne so much it resembled a Batman Suit Now u better quit talking dweeb. I’m on ya porch waving & it ain’t no small machine Shotty to your mug - that Pumpkin get a whole Face Lit Up like it’s Halloween Any woman would bench him. One punch & I’ll end this round I’m getting Lett down easy. He’s getting “I just see us as friends for now” Got nothing but played and recycled bars - that really cements this herb’s fate Forget Dr Who - this Tardis Taking us Back in Time whenever he attempts a wordplay And Ghostwriters can’t help him against these beast mode writes Sub Let for ANY Boarder… he still ain’t getting a New Lease on life Calls himself “Young Simba”… I got a piece for this mark & when he’s Running Into THIS Desert, it won’t just be Leaving a Scar In a fistfight he’d get slumped too - dude is barely at chest height He can’t beat me w/ bars, ‘Let alone w/ his hands’ - that shit compares w/ his sex life vs Plot Plot aka Robocop aka Dystopian, Your haymaker claims are NOT true - start scripting an apology I’m not 1-2 outliers, but you writing a single dope bar is a statistical anomaly Gimmicky schemes and played lines, nobody likes this cuck Only people who DON’T wanna Diss Robe are the women he tries to fuck Mention his run on Netcees & this bartender might get triggered He went from serving up Lime & Bitters to getting served on the Lime & Bitter People come here to read my shit - you aint got ONE supporter No-one cares what you Sadist, reading your verses is fucking torture How you even made it this far remains a question, G If you’re showing heart in text it’s cuz we’d rate yours less than three <3 Your girl says she quit carbs, but still wearing some extra-extra drawers That’s not a Keto diet, it’s a QUITO diet - she eats enough to feed cities in Ecuador & she stinks too bro. That kinda flatulence is past science My wife got a Stellar Body… you refer to yours as a Gas Giant I’ll stop your ticker w/ the taser. Too late to bring the medics A big shock & ya heart goes out to it - have you feeling sympathetic
__________________
The Bad Guys Last edited by Dominate; 11-10-2022 at 06:12 AM. |
11-10-2022, 05:59 AM | #22 |
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,309
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
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Rep Power: 18197456 |
AOWL Season X
Week 1 vs Blue Bayou
He’s early this time. Home from the bar - twelve thirty at night He fumbles as he takes off his faded shirt and his tie His stomach’s turning, - full of bottom shelf bourbon and rye Now there’s a whole new reason he’s feeling churned up inside It’s been a month since it happened. He doubts the hurt’ll subside There’s a giant whole inside him where he’s missing his purpose and pride He lays down in bed quietly, hopes he’s not disturbing his wife She reaches for his hand. Damn. He flinches and turns to the side “Talk to me” she urges. He shakes his head, murmurs and sighs “You’re still thinking about that loss?” - “…Yes.” He curtly replies “Baby, I don’t understand this. You can’t just curl up and die…” He grits his teeth as she drones and her tone becomes churlish and snide “…Like you don’t have family to live for?? We don’t deserve this, besides It’s just a silly online tournament, it isn’t worth it to pine…” His brow furrows, fists clench - knuckles turning to white “… none of it matters, baby! No-one’s even heard of Blue Bay-” SMACK! “What the FUCK did you say to me???” He screams in a furious cry He grabs her by the wrists. She sees the anger burn in his eyes “No, wait… I didn’t mean … Please, you’re hurting me Ry!” “You don’t know who Blue Bayou is?!” - SLAP! - “You’ll learn it tonight! Mouth off and it’s your mouth off, you fucking herb of a wife” “Please, I don’t know what that mea-” “I SAID SHUT UP YOU WORTHLESS DYKE! Tell me who’s verses are fly, eh? – SMACK! – Who’s wording’s precise?” “B-b-Blue Bayou?” she sobs. He answers smirking, “that’s right.” “Who’s the fucking king of wordplay? Who keeps the personals tight?” “Blue - SMACK! - Bayou!!!” she tearfully blurts as he strikes “And WHO leaves his opponents in a FUCKING URN when he writes?!?!” SMACK! SMACK! “BLUE BAYOU!!!” she shrieks in fervent reply “YESSSSSSS!!!” he hisses as he frantically works at his fly Then pulls out the turgidest five inches she’s ever observed in her life Before she knows what’s happening he starts inserting it dry Hurting her thighs as he grips them, he pistons without mercy inside “GREATEST… OF… ALL... TIME...” he thrusts - each word is in time His face contorts as he climaxes, body jerks and then writhes When it’s over she curls in a ball. Covered in purple-ish blights He leaves, while SHE'S left simply yearning to die Weeks pass. She’s still too numb to be concerned with the why All she feels is a growing sensation that her worth as a person’s declined The woman who once stood next to him becomes a silenced girl who’s behind Now she’s empty inside too… The vicious circle’s alive Week 2 vs timeless The jagged squeak of an office chair cuts through the hum of computers Somewhere to my right there’s a flutter of movement I don’t look up. They might be watching. I never know when the webcam’s on, or when they capture a screen shot But I know if I’m caught distracted my career can collapse into free fall They access the key logs. Check my browser history, app use Who I’m emailing and why, how many times I visit the bathroom The monitor’s monitored. Phone line’s tapped - they listen to that too The job’s a digital panopticon. Cell number iMac six seven dash two The argument’s simple. They have the right to target this info You’re paid to be here, they want to realise all your potential Time theft’s a crime and it must be guarded against, so They take simple security measures. Merely locks on the windows My social media’s a wasteland, littered with perfunctory edits Everything carefully curated to conform to the company’s ethics Hand in every part of my life til I can’t tell where the puppetry’s end is It’s not enough to be productive. You must adopt the proper aesthetics My break is 11:05 today. Room C. It’s always different. Two others I’ve never met before introduce themselves. John & Tristan. I microwave my meal, taking two of my allotted minutes We make small talk from approved topics, observing the proper limits Even here, they watch and listen. They say it’s for our security The scrutiny keeps us free from the freedom to speak with impunity The honest worker knows that none of this is alarming. Just keep your mind on the job. Relax. Big Business is watching. Week 3 vs brokenhal0 Be not afraid, traveller. The sign read in cursive lettering Eternal bliss awaits. Your spirit stands on the verge of entering Soon to meet your maker. However, you are yet unworthy Here you must remain until fit to commence your journey All sin must be washed away before you can hope to ascend In the godly rains of purgatory, your imperfect soul will be cleansed … Mortals had heard the story. They didn’t know it was first rate horse shit Invented at the turn of the century after the birth rate soared quick What happened to war & pestilence? Good old fashioned flood & famine? Now humans were living long enough to breed like fucking rabbits Michael had fucking had it. The caseload was a ridiculous ask Weighing the souls of the dead became an outrageous logistical task A backlog of billions waiting to be classed as ’saved’ or ‘damned’ How the fuck was he supposed to explain to them the massive delays at hand? He’d scratched his balls, made a plan, concocted a suitable spin… The fawning faithful embraced the lie, even called it a beautiful thing. … Michael paces the control room. “NEXT!” His timbre is thundering. Paul, a simpering underling, pushes some buttons & fiddles with knobs. The data finishes buffering. The image appears on the video wall - A lone figure at a bus stop. “Right, what’s this idiot called?” “This is umm… uhhh…” Paul scrambles to find what page it’s on Lands on what he’s looking for. “This is David… uhh… Davidson?” He checks his notes again, looking through them just in case Michael’s nostrils are flaring. “What a stupid fucking name. He looks too young and healthy. What’s this cocksucker here for?” “It says he was cleaning his rifle and…” A raised eyebrow. “Dear lord… The chamber was loaded… he slipped as he ran his thumb past The safety was off, his kids were home and heard the gun blast.” Michael snorts. “What a dumb ass!” – a special disdain for David’s type Old enough to procreate, young enough to just fucking stay alive. “And what’d this asshole do with his miserable little claim to life?” “Well, uhh… He never killed anyone, never cheated on or shamed his wife… He turned his family out weekly in all of their Sunday best… … he was a big fan of the big guy.” Michael’s eyes roll. Unimpressed. “But,” Paul continues, “He overstated his own importance… When travelling on planes he was prone to claim both the armrests… He’d hit reply all on emails when it definitely wasn’t warranted… Waited til the front of Starbucks queues to decide on what his order is… Oh! And one time, he called his neighbour a, “churlish cunt” …” Michael picks at his teeth. “Alright then, I’ve heard enough.” … The vehicle approaches. Barbed wire on windows. The sign on the front flashes - Next Stop: Fire & Brimstone ... Michael arrives home. His thoughts pace an arrhythmia He shrugs off his white uniform with the Arcangel insignia Glass of Scotch. Fade to oblivion. Try to forget the job that he hates. Angry. He flings his halo against the wall, and it breaks. Week 4 vs Master Rock Topic: “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." - Casablanca, 1942 I told her right at the start – I couldn’t do love if I tried. We’d have fun for a time, but then there’d be others after her. A odd kind of bachelor, I was what she’d been hunting to find. She was younger - an amateur. Beauty unassuming and modest. I’d been a long time in a dark place. Her touch drew me from it. She whispered her desire. At first, so tentative and awed. I brought her fantasies to life. She reveled in my charms. And in the elementary warmth of a glowing lamp, holding hands I felt the flicker of possibility… Of hope… Of chance… But long nights turned to long days, and days became weeks. She began to rub me the wrong way. I grew impatient to leave. She wanted more from me. Inevitably, they all did. She asked and she asked, searching for words I wouldn’t find fault with. But solitude was my constant. And the bottom of a bottle. It was time for our story’s third act. The argument was awful. She couldn’t understand. And as she grasped for an answer Tearfully she marvelled at my detached, dispassionate manner - “I wish I was like you.” “I wish I was like you.” - I’ll never forget how she uttered the line. Sullen. Resigned. While her eyes accused me of cowardice. I never felt so acutely as powerless as when that chaos flooded my mind. It was sudden and violent. She never struggled or cried. I hit her with a terrible force - never before had I summoned its kind. In a thunderous silence, her body thrashed and shuddered and writhed, twisting like a grotesque contortionist in the midst of a stuttering light. It was… a metamorphosis. A second coming of life. Mortal to indentured sorceress… No more telling her she wasn’t my type. And as our physical forms dissolved I saw the horror erupt in her eyes. And the vessel I was bound to sputtered and sucked us inside. And she raged and she howled and screamed curses up to the skies, til her voice grew raw and rasping and she said that she wanted to die. But I couldn’t indulge a death wish, or grant her another besides, and like I told her right at the start – I couldn’t do love if I tried. So we exist in uncomfortable silence, passing nothing but time. Ethereal, our fates entwined. Waiting for someone to find. It could have been another. I lose days to wondering why - of all the Djinn joints in all the world, she had to come into mine. Week 5 vs Eviction Topic: “THE DEVIL IN MY BLOODSTREAM” 5 years ago… He unloads a cooler from his new sedan’s roof racks A giggling niece runs barefoot over freshly mown bluegrass A few drinks. A few laughs. Cheers. He lifts a huge glass. A long conspicuous gawk at the sister-in-law with the huge ass. Too much, too fast; he downs another bourbon or three Now he’s talking a little loudly, slightly slurring his speech He’s ranting - a sermon to preach. His wife is embarrassed. He’s growing argumentative, picking fights with her parents She wants to go home. He says his stomach is sick Then vomits his potato salad all over one of the kids 5 months ago… His wife is on night shift. He settles into an armchair with a peaty ten year old sidekick He likes this; alone with his drink without her scorning No lecture about she’s growing concerned and this is a warning Two in the morning, the bottle’s empty. It’s OK, he’ll sip on some beers He opens the fridge to find them and - SHIT! All six disappeared That fucking bitch interfered! He turns the house upside down, panicked Not a fucking drop in sight. He’s growing desperate now. Manic. He grabs his keys and heads out. Finds a bar to ease this ripe concern …Leaving his 10 month old son alone in the house until his wife returns She tells him it’s over. He packs up his life reluctantly He stays on a buddy’s couch a while. Vodka and sprite for company … He doesn’t fight for custody 5 days ago… The diagnosis was delivered after a bevy of scans Cirrhosis of the liver. Irreparable. Very advanced. The prognosis was the kicker. They gave him a couple of years And less… much less, if he wouldn’t ease up on the beers But his only means of coping is a bottle driven stupor Every sober thought he has feels like an obstinate intruder Two days and he’s back to drinking. He marks himself a loser Scared and seeking solace in the arms of his abuser Now… The carpet is sticky. A teal and mustard atrocity straight from the heart of the sixties. He stumbles out of the men’s room, smelling of vomit and whiskey. Dark ringed and misty, his eyes meet the barman’s. He orders a gin. He’ll cut this one with tonic then go back to the hard stuff again. A quarter to ten in the morning, no calling into work anymore. Not today, or tomorrow, or however long eternity’s for. The certainty’s more of a comfort now, knowing this all will pass. He watches his hand as it reaches, trembling, towards his glass. Expediting his exit from this existence he aimlessly nurtured Passing what’s left of his life as a passive, sedated observer Week 6 vs Adverse & Eviction Topic: Provincial I made my way down cobblestone streets at dawn, bow in hand The cold and damp of night yielding to the morning sun’s slow advance Peaking over thatched roofs and stretching beyond to the whole expanse of the surrounding wooded hillside, dappled green and gold and tan. I walked briskly towards it, boarskin quiver slung across my shoulder Hopping fallen trees as I went and scrambling up moss lined boulders My thoughts quite bolstered - I saw in the mud a cloven impression Deer print. Potently fresh and heading upwind in a loping procession I crept past the oaks and the chestnut trees. Feeling focussed, expectant Assured, but under no misconception, - one faux pas and the moment was ended I spied the velvety crown of the stag and closed in to close its existence Waiting for the right moment, I drew - held the bow string in tension The beast turned, exposing its chest. I saw my chance as it froze for a second I smiled sadly, mouthed au revoir… and slowly lowered the weapon. It would have been too easy. Unbecoming of my skill and my talent Truthfully, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt the thrill of a challenge I thought myself chivalrous, gallant. My walls were adorned with antlers All I really hunted for now was the solace of the forest’s grandeur I followed the river home, observing how its course meandered Contemplating my own path and, as always, landing short of answers. I kept my burdens buried below a veneer of boorish banter All the village saw was the image of the hardened ex war commander A hero. Adored and pampered. Surrounded by obsequious yes men Too meek to breathe their dissentions - I was never disagreed with or questioned You see how conceitedness sets in… but my status came at a cost My identity and agency lost in desperation to maintain the facade I hid my insecurities beneath a towering mass of muscle Drifting without purpose through this town and its vapid bustle That was, until the day that a stagecoach pulled into view And the love of my life stepped out in her tunic of cerulean blue A delicate face framed by tousled tresses, brunette in hue With deep and dazzling eyes. I bet her name was Beautiful too… Now, I’d been with a floozy or two. They were easy game if I’m honest With my station and frame like Adonis I’d had any dame that I’d wanted But it was clear as soon as I saw her she wasn’t some everyday broad She was gorgeous, no question she was. But something more.. a je ne sais quoi And when I heard her singing… well, of course I was hypnotised She sang of wanting - more than a simple life, in that haunting chorus she improvised I sauntered across the square to woo this magnificent creature Brandishing a smile and a bouquet of hibiscus to greet her I oozed my usual charm that left women a-quiver and eager So imagine then my shock at her cool and indifferent demeanor… Between agitation and elation, I smiled a wolfish grin as I teetered Knowing this challenge to win her would only make the victory sweeter Weeks passed. My passions didn’t. I stayed transfixed in her features Burning for her… a sickness… I was held in the grip of its fever So when she fell for another, I felt anger throb in my veins And the fog of my rage grew thicker when I learned of his monsterous ways I’d wanted to capture her, yes… but he had literally locked her away And she now claimed to love him?! An obvious case of Stockholm’s at play.. I couldn’t abide this. I rallied some sidekicks, forceful with discourse A quick march through the forest and we arrived with torches and pitchforks I kicked the doors in, storming on inwards, straight up the flights of stairs Up to the snowcapped rooftop… he was ready to fight me there I drew my dagger against this animal. He snarled through crooked teeth I leapt in determined - tomorrow was something he wouldn’t see But in my haste, I slipped. Tumbled from the roof, mortally undignified And as I fell to my death, in my head I heard her warbling a single line Heard echoes of that siren’s song, that chorus that she’d improvised… Heard Belle as she sang it - there must be more than this provincial life Then I heard no more. - Gaston Week 7 vs Master Rock Are your breasts too small? Are they lifeless and saggy? Do your eyes look baggy? Have your stomach and sides gotten wide and flabby? ARE YOU QUITE UNHAPPY? Are you ready to discover the REAL YOU? The better, more aesthetic version? Don’t delay - this is very urgent; call Dr Dan Liptzer, board certified cosmetic surgeon. Dr Dan has worked in the field since right out of med school, he has the finest credentials His entire life is a quest to help women in the thouands achieve their highest potential He’s unconventional, the best in the business, - he outstrips every competetor in this Test it with litmus – go ahead and read what some of his clients have said as a witness: ***** I went in for a simple Botox, just a teensy injection. Not only did Dr Dan leave me with a pleasing complexion, he expertly identified through a thorough and sweeping inspection that I had several other areas extremely in need of correction. I would have been clueless! Thank goodness I heeded directions. Now five surgeries later, I’m close to achieving perfection! - Amanda, 34, Sales Rep ***** Omg, Dr Dan is like, sooooo handsum and dreamy Im 4eva greatfull that he even manage to see me He help me to set up the payment plan, it was easy My bf loves my new boobs, he always got hands on them! Hehe - Candy, 21, Cashier DID YOU KNOW? 9 out of 10 men prefer women who smile BUT, overdo it and your face becomes wrinkled and vile INTRODUCING: our patented chemical peel, it’s simple and mild You can now say NO to aging - reclaim the skin of a child This Summer, say ENOUGH to being ugly and pitiful Be the ENVY of your friends, not the subject of ridicule Give a BIG NO to the big nose that flusters and hinders you REFUSE to put up with a bust that is miniscule A perky pair is POSSIBLE - more than you ever knew You CAN achieve fullness and front facing nipples too So pick up the phone and bid that uninspired chest adieu What are you waiting for? “Let’s bring out the breast in you” Book your rhinoplasty TODAY and get a FREE abdominal liposuction Use coupon code BIGJUGS for a 10% price reduction Say goodbye to a life of being shaped like a giant pumpkin NO CASH NO PROBLEM - we take AfterPay, we’ll find you something THE CHOICE IS YOURS: stay repulsive, hairy, old, unmarried Or… CALL US NOW, - be bold, be daring DON’T MISS OUT – this offer is momentary SATISFACTION GUARANTEED* - you’ll see, there’s no comparing * results can vary Week 11 vs dead man Marco trembled in fear as they lowered him into the grave He imagined the stench of decay, - all around him, inches away Fighting down panic, he gazed at the minister’s wrinkled old face Unblinking and staid as the others as he sprinkled his incense and prayed I’ll see you again. I promise. Wincing, he remembered the day The sound of her choking sobs, prying tiny fingers away I promise. One way or another. For months, his singular aim Fuelled by white hot, lingering pain. Was it really ending this way? Fevered words poured out of him, - every line he could think of to say Knowing it didn’t matter; he had a debt he couldn’t begin to repay… . . . The dry summer air was infused with the smell of citrus Maria wore a frown of concentration he’d seldom witnessed As she carefully pulled the sapling from its pot and teased the roots The method that he’d shown her that she faithfully reproduced “Soon we’ll see the fruit” she said with the confidence and ease of youth Setting the tree into the hole and replacing the soil that had been removed They sat a while then. A gentle breeze tempering the heat of June “I wish Mama was here.” “Yes”, he agreed, “me too.” They arrested him at work. Covered the exits and entered at the rear Sporting ICE windbreakers and contemptuous sneers The thin veneer of judicial review only bought him a matter of days A final chance to hug his daughter before they snatched it away Back across the border, he fought the urge to collapse into grief He found a smuggler who could take him back – for a staggering fee More than he could beg or borrow from his entire family tree If he worked and saved for years he still couldn’t manage the feat He did the only thing he could; became a dealer, started to sell Amazing what desperation does to morals you thought that you held It still wasn’t enough. He needed the money to develop quickly He found a back-room poker game. It was that, or sell a kidney Besides, he was good at cards - he had that sort of a mind Or so he thought, before he lost it all with a full house against four of a kind Months of work, gone in an instant. He was filled with anxiety, dread He found a church on the edge of town, sat alone, and quietly wept pours his heart out to the priest Priest takes pity on him Church’s cemetary has a special grave that connects to a smuggling tunnel *surprised pikachu face* “Sent to the other side” wordplay Priest says a prayer to send him off, Marco says a bunch of thankyous Adios Week 12 vs Soule'] She saw him across the bar. His stare was persistant, hard-eyed. Tall, and lightly muscled. A hint of stubble on a chiselled jawline. His smile was… disarming. She wasn’t used to that kind of attention. A little chubby and kinda frumpy looking, she’d never liked her reflection. And yet he was smiling at her. She smiled back - uncomfortably, thinly. He sauntered across the room and stood in front of her, grinning. He spoke. Was it something in Hindi? She hadn’t heard the language in years. Her parents had never taught it to her (just as her grandmother feared). “Sorry, I don’t understand,” she mumbled. Her gaze was avoidant. “I asked you what your name was,” he said, with a trace of annoyance. “Oh... I’m Sue.” She forced herself to look up from the floorboards. “Hmm. That can’t be your real name. I bet there’s something that’s short for.” “I - yes, it’s short for Sujata”. He looked satisfied. “That’s no wonder - I knew you had to be Indian with that skin tone and bone structure.” She laughed nervously. He looked her up and down with a bold hunger. “I’ll get you this drink, Sujata,” he winked, “you can get me your phone number.” She sipped what he ordered her. Feeling awkward and somewhat uncertain. He boasted about being in med school, on his way to becoming a surgeon. “You’d look so sexy in a sari,” he told her, “just utterly perfect.” He slid a hand around her waist. “I bet you must be a virgin. That’s why I like Indian girls. Western women are fucking perverted.” She wasn’t sure how to feel as he delivered this smug little sermon. It was true, - she had no experience, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t wanted it. Wasn’t like she didn’t fantasize about her bed having added occupants. And so, despite her misgivings, and the brashness of his ‘compliments’, when he asked if she’d go home with him she gladly went along with it. A short walk later, they arrived at his faded weatherboard. Red light spilled onto the street as they entered through the heavy door. He rolled up his sleeves, drew the curtains and snibbed the door locks. Tattoos of Sanskrit lettering adorned the pale skin of his forearms. On every inch of the four walls hung Hindu artwork in wooden frames. The air was thick with incense, and another scent that she couldn’t place… Her eyes roamed the room, paused on a bronze-tinted effigy. She recognised the goddess Durga. Ten arms, all holding weaponry. “Isn’t she beautiful?” he asked, his voice dripping awe and respect. She thought its expression was horrible, but politely nodded assent. “You want to see my shrine? I haven’t made today’s offering yet.” His eyes were alive with excitement, looking almost possessed. “… sure,” she replied, ever cautious of causing offence. She followed him to a red door, down the hall to the left. Producing a key, he unlocked it. She noticed a droplet of sweat. His voice was a high-pitched whisper, - “OK… go on in ahead.” She entered the room, and froze. Felt the jolt of shock and distress. Saw something resembling a woman. Surgically altered – grotesque. Heard its agonised, faltering breath. The sound of its distressed moans. Saw the additional brown-skinned limbs, sown, from armpits down to hipbones. Comprehesion hit home. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Five arms on the creature’s right side… and only three on the left… She opened her mouth to scream. Felt a rapid, aggressive embrace. Caught the acrid scent of chemicals as a rag was pressed to her f- Week 13 vs Eviction Fiery red head. You know that you want it I look cheap but like I could burn a hole in your pocket Take me out, touch my box, I’ll do whatever you ask Show me that rough side, that’s where the chemistry’s at Run your fingers down my body, pinch me, steady your grasp Strike me. Over and over, until you get a reaction. Fuck I’m burning for you. Losing my head in a flash Breathe me in as you hold me and take your pleasure at last But then it’s over… And I know, - that moment never could last Turn everything I touch into dust and embers and ash So. You wave me out. A cold show of dismissiveness I’m curled up, fragile. You’re there smoking your cigarette Nothing more to give you. Used. I’m powerless now It’s only a matter of time before you throw me out of the house The flame may be finished, but killing the phantom is hard Close your eyes and I bet you still see me dance in the dark And I know when you look back, you’ll have a new attitude You’ll see what you had in me; That I was a Match for you Week 14 vs Sinacog 1 You wake up in a strange room, no memory of how you arrived The door & window are locked. No-one answers your shouts and your cries There’s a pot of tea on the windowsill. Next to it, a pair of glasses Plants and flowers everywhere, - some c.acti and arid grasses You notice some shelving above you. Some post-its on the wall There’s something written on them but you can’t make out the scrawl What is all this? You wonder. Is it all some optical ruse? You’re determined to find out. The question is… what do you do? See what’s on the shelves – go to verse 15 Try on the glasses – go to verse 5 Drink the tea – go to verse 10 2 You see your hands tremble as you drip the sap on the picture Hoping the c.actus’s liquid is some kind of magic elixir The book glows, then intensifies into a blinding, dazzling light There’s a deafening roar… you hear a c.ackle, a CRACK, then a silence A sudden weight in your hand. You look down at a magical sight The golden pommel, the jewlled hilt… ‘Excalibur’ scratched on the side You’ve done it! You summoned the sword, just as the post-it said Now to turn your attention to those other notes your read… Drink the tea & eat the flowers – go to verse 3 Shout out “Eyjeyissagod” – go to verse 7 3 This option was appealing. You’re hungry, and thirsty too But… Does the order matter? Which one should you first consume? Eat the flowers – go to verse 6 Drink the tea – go to verse 10 4 In your hands you twirl the frisbee. The pattern is hypnotic You can’t seem to look away…. it spins faster and faster, robotic You hear a voice in your head, posing a puzzle of logic: I AM NOTHING AND SOMETHING... The tone is almost demonic I AM NOTHING AND SOMETHING, it repeats... What does it mean?! It’s a riddle without an answer… “Impossible!!!” you scream I AM NOTHING AND SOMETHING - now less talking than taunting You’re paralysed, despairing at this great philosophical quandary I AM NOTHING AND SOMETHING. Over and over, over again You scream. This really wasn’t the way that you hoped it would end. 5 A lighthearted distraction while the gods are deciding your fate You’ll die here or be rescued - might as well look fly while you wait You don the glasses, check the mirror… forget for one long minute You flatter yourself a little thinking you look like a young John Lennon But as you turn away, you shout with glee at the spectacle - It seems those sweet little spectacles make the post-its easily legible! “A sappy sacrifice supplies the sword”, you read, still short of answers On the next note, “Eyjeyissagod” … could this be some sort of password? “It drinks the tea, it eats the flowers”, the final note instructs Now… decide your course, cross your heart and hope for luck Drink the tea & eat the flowers – go to verse 3 Shout out “Eyjeyissagod” – go to verse 12 See what’s on the shelves – go to verse 11 6 The flowers were beautiful. You should have known to ONLY DEVOUR THE SUITABLE. Now after hours of puking you’ll die howling, delusional. 7 “Eyjeyissagod!” Your mouth tingles and warms as soon as you utter the word The sensation fades quickly but leaves you somewhat disturbed You hear a sudden, primal screech. You turn to the window to see A flap of wings. The glass shatters. You get a glimpse of some teeth The side of the building groans under the weight of its giant claws Shimmering crimson scales reflect the pale light of the dawn Afraid and yet awed, you hold your blade in your palm, considering Should you attempt to slay the dragon, or bow before it quivering? Attack – go to verse 14 Bow – go to verse 16 8 You cut yourself with the c.actus and stain the image with blood Holding your breath, you wait… you hear a sinister buzz The book glows, then intensifies into a blinding, dazzling light There’s a deafening roar… you hear a c.ackle, a CRACK, then a silence A sudden pain in your chest. You look down and gasp at the sight The golden pommel, the jewlled hilt… ‘Excalibur’ scratched on the side The blood is warm on your body as it gushes from the wound Then suddenly, you’re cold… Your suffering is through. 9 Amongst the books you spy a classic: The Legend Of Arthur There’s an illustration of a sword and… the word “BLOOD”, written in marker Is this calling for a sacrifice? You wonder with a shiver You search the room, looking for a knife or something like scissors There’s nothing of the sort, but one thing does look sharp The c.actus’s thorns are beckoning, - all you’ll need is one good barb Poised to prick your thumb pad, you hesistate. Do you want to do this? Maybe just wait for rescue, drink some tea… Would that be foolish? Blood sacrifice – go to verse 8 Wait and drink tea – go to verse 10 10 The tea is demon semen. Satan appears before you in the form of a Greek policeman OPAAAA. YOU TAKE MY SEMEN. NOW MUST MAKE EVEN-STEVENS. I SUCKA YOU DICK… You nod in meek agreement It’s amazing. It’s too good. You can’t believe it, even. Your mind explodes and you die, still tasting that sweet secretion 11 On the shelves you find a frisbee and a couple of dusty tomes Observing the former closely, you think you see it subtly glow It seems to be… calling to you…. you have an urge to twirl it Should you go along with this impulse? Or not? What’s the verdict? Twirl the frisbee – go to verse 4 Read the books – go to verse 13 12 “Eyjeyissagod!” Your mouth tingles and warms as soon as you utter the word The sensation grows stronger… you scream; suffering, burning And as the flames engulf you, you hear a voice in your head “…UNWORTHY…”, it whispers… you should’ve made other choices instead… 13 Amongst the books you spy a classic: The Legend Of Arthur There’s an illustration of a sword and… the word “BLOOD”, written in marker Is this calling for a sacrifice? You wonder with a shiver You search the room, looking for a knife or something like scissors There’s nothing of the sort, but one thing does look sharp The c.actus’s thorns are beckoning, - all you’ll need is one good barb Poised to prick your thumbpad, you stop and think, do you really HAVE to? Does it have to be YOUR blood? Maybe you could use the plant juice? Would the book even know? You ponder this all for a minute Then nod sharply, committed. You’ve made your call, your decision: Use your blood – go to verse 8 Use the c.actus juice – go to verse 2 14 It’s over in seconds… Before you even move, the dragon knows your intentions. You hear a monsterous roar the instant you go for your weapon. Feel the furnace blast of its breath. Burning, - ashes and flesh “PATHETIC MORTAL.” you hear, then jerk and collapse into death 15 On the shelves you find a frisbee and a couple of dusty tomes Observing the former closely, you think you see it subtly glow It seems to be… calling to you…. you have an urge to twirl it Should you go along with this impulse? Or not? What’s the verdict? Twirl the frisbee – go to verse 4 Read the books – go to verse 9 16 Gripping your sword, you kneel. Seconds seem an eternity Afraid to look up, you wait… until you hear a voice, internally ARISE. You stand up shakily and lock eyes with the powerful beast SUSTENANCE. It commands you… You offer the flowers and tea It seems to work… ! You feel your grip on the sword relax COME. YOU ARE WORTHY. The dragon gestures towards its back Climbing aboard, you feel strange… more confident and light You take two steps to the window and launch into the skies Below you, only insignificant mortals in their T shirts Leathery wings beat upwards. You soar into the ether. Blood and fire and steel. You understand your immortal truth You are the sword and the dragon. The dragon and sword are you. Playoffs Round 1 vs Mike Wrecka Once upon an evening eerie, when the sky was bleak and bleary and I sipped some cheap and cheery comfort from the bottom shelf Taking a toke of tobacco, suddenly I saw a shadow cast there over the piano and my silhouetted self “It’s the maplewood,” I muttered, glancing out to where it dwelled “only that, and nothing else” In such detail I recall it – it was past the prime of fall and every tree that lined my lawn had lost its lustrous leafy shell I sat alone then, grim and grieving, drinking well into the evening drinking deep to cease the screaming, screaming in my head for Elle For that sorry, sultry siren that I thought I’d loved so well A conviction now dispelled And the weight of what had happened in my burning, brainless passion killed me – filled me with a sort of sadness I had never felt So that now this outlined figure on my wall that faintly flickered seeming only to grow bigger fanned the fires of my hell “it’s the maplewood,” I echoed, drawing shades to break its spell … and yet still the shadow fell Feeling now my heart beat faster, I stood searching for the master of this spectre on my plaster born of shade that I beheld And on noticing its placement, I turned hastily, impatient to the room that stood adjacent where I’d hung a head of elk “just the antlers,” I sighed, then closed the door to break their spell … but yet still the shadow fell Finding neither rhyme nor reason, my assuredness did weaken and the silence seemed to deepen as the fear within me swelled For the foul, fantastic monster my imagination conjured looming larger, fiercer, stronger, grew impossible to quell And the phantom’s form felt foreign as of from another realm yet… familiar as well “Is it you?” I whispered softly, fearing something there ungodly like some spirit sent to haunt me from the deepest depths of hell But the shade seemed not to hear me, though I voiced again my query so, succinctly and sincerely, I then simply asked it - “… Elle?” This I asked, and heard my voice repeating back the name of “Elle!” Only echoes, nothing else Now I lost all my composure, - struck the wall, and shrieked for closure Struck it over and then over with what strength I could compel Fists so frenzied and ferocious, in the grip of a psychosis and the beat of every blow was like the sounding of a knell … like the beat of bloody blows with which I’d beat the life from Elle Faithless bitch. I’d loved her well And the shadow, so incessant, still is present, still is present like a token of the essence that malevolence befell And so far beyond redeeming, there my soul continues screaming ‘neath that shadow with its meaning as to mark me as its whelp As the vile, abhorrent monster that no mortal man can help This I am, and nothing else.
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The Bad Guys |
11-10-2022, 06:10 AM | #23 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,309
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
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- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"
Rep Power: 18197456 |
SOL Season 2
Vs Burd
Laser aimed at your core, Ima let it air there square Empty the clip til the beam comes out ya stomach lookin like a Care Bear Stare My whole squad carry tools, don’t try to fuck w/ the king pal Sega Genesis Sonic: Run Into those Animals & every one of them Rings Out Wondering where your girl’s been? Ask if you feel doubtful She’ll start w/ “this is hard to say” then tell you I gave her a reallll mouthful It’s porno music when I call her phone, she had the ringtone changed for me You been changing your Ring Tone too - at the salon getting your anus bleached Vs NYCSPITZ This guy? I gave him a list of personals but his writing is obvious dookie If some shit I brought up goes far w/ Spits, it’s cuz I’m hocking a loogie Lost a topical to the warthog. Four-zero. Wowsers dude. Y’all went toe to toe w/ rhymes and that little piggy went to town on you Act like women like you but your methods are shady and sinister If a girl is well disposed to you, you hid the body after raping and killing her One minute in your topical league and I got props that’s bigger than you Step here and I’m a strict parent: you can get spanked w/ this Discipline too Vs Ahriman Act up it’s endin in violence. Even buck at your friends if they wildin Bullets roar through a circle - that’s the fuckin MGM Lion You & your girl start bickering and she come straight to my dick for a ride Funny she call urs a matchstick… where it’s a rough patch that box gettin hit on the side Guy’s mug is a fucking nightmare, think of it late in the night Got a noodle that’ll keep you up, no pool flotation device Sharp said he had a chance here? Sooo polite. Total class. Too bad Argon get his hopes up and find out it was only a Noble Gas Vs Saint Look, There isn’t a problem here I can’t get the Draco to solve When that ringggg light up Saint’s head trust there’s no halo involved I’ll beat you in every category. That’s nothing but honesty fam Your idea of a competitive edge is jerking off for as long as you can At this point I’d be stunned if your phrasing was actually crisp dawg Wp like a defibrillator - if what you say is CLEAR then it’s gonna be a bigggg shock You’ve seen my name in every top ten - I’m murder with it sucker 20 years in, YOUR name still as Listless as your girl is when you fuck her Bitch loves it when I choke her, always calling my dick boss I got her working graveyard shift - she seeing stars when she gets off Vs Resin MIC Bring the G19 where you live, pussy. I’m taking alllll your cash Fuck ur environment. I’ll pull the plastic out & separate the paper from some trash Plenty bullets, Ima shoot those - let a few go if you don’t act right Quit the tough talk Res… you let a Phew go whenever you pass a black guy And the way you look at a Labrador? I could never trust you for real Whether it’s cooking or fights w/ your wife – you got an Old Yeller up in your grill Can’t even guess what she weighs. She never spent a day in gymnasiums Impossible to give a ballpark figure when she’s the shape of Yankee Stadium She gotta lap dance to pay ur gambling debts cuz you fucking suck at poker Irony 101… she’s Grinding Bones for Bread and looks like a fucking Ogre I’ll haggle on price w/ my shooters, but they bringing the 4 for you dummy Roulette wheel: you dropped the ball.. & when a number gets settled on you losing more than your money Okayyyy you champed last season but all you hearing now is hell nahs Wasn’t ur first rodeo. But you could only hold on so long before you fell off Vs Defiant Ur style is hit and miss so good luck if you tryna advance, queer If MY text is up and down it’s “I ReAlLy ThInK dEfIaNt HaS a ChAnCe HeRe” Chernobyl fallout looking mufucka. You never balling w/ chicks bro If you got the digits for something extra on the side, we’re talking a sixth toe You’re fat AND boring. What you make w/ the pen’s awful Verse the same as your diet is - eighty percent waffle Hear the revolver BLAOW and you’re going down, sonny I SAID THIS AIN’T MY FIRST RODEO. Yea that colt’s coming out bucking Or I’m auto squeezing, even better. You’ll bleed forever See me bare arms going BRRRRR like white women who need a sweater Vs Dave Originally Posted by evaD Fuck text I’m catchin bodies and leavin em in vacants You’re here to cement your place in the playoffs.. I’m here to cement your place beneath my basement Nothing but trash that ur flexin’… But I had to laugh at that mention - I nicknamed your bitch cement - found her wet, put a hand in & left a lasting impression I’d never seen a wider snatch … like she allowed five guys at a time to smash Had trains run through that British tunnel. Now she spread her legs like “Mind The Gap” Pull up next to you in the whip... The crew got 4s to unload My dogs sweeping your car - you get sent to the other side like border control Anyone I’m in a bout with, I’ll outwit. You should sense the danger & leave Bro my bars the same as your mouth is – creative angles with teeth And I killed you in our last match. You can’t STILL think your writing is tight With that approach, Ima ring your bell again... At this point it’s like riding a bike Got the Uzi for your bitch ass. Trigger squeezing, heat pop Keep acting Camp David... Ima let that Middle Eastern Piece Talk vs Hush Ur pops was a pussy. Never crossed the cops or resisted arrest Only thin blue line he ran from was ur mom’s positive pregnancy test Guys, his woman is hideous - I can’t even put sperm in the box Not sure what fantasy world Vixen but there’s nooo way his girl is a fox If I got a thong request, my girl wear what I say & give me brains again If Hush got a Thong request, he’s telling the DJ to play It’s Raining Men Lemme try to drive the point home: you’re really not gifted dude When you try driving the point home you get a zero star Lyft review vs Resin MIC Smacking you back to China again is nothing but fun for me bro Ima make you look dumb w/ the flow Remind you of your communist roots - everything you produce just keeps getting publicly owned AiYyOo… I post up with OGs - get respect in the streets that I’m traveling You post up with Oh Geez when you check in and see who you’re battling Wowwww @ that champ match, you sure showed me your brand as a textcee I mean damn bro, you really went after me… In the league’s standings the next week Signed out like a butthurt bitch the moment you lost in that feud It didn’t take a Pet Detective to know why a Snowflake was gone from the pool You shouldn’t be in the playoffs now - wayyy too much of a princess I really gotta question your entry here, like when your wife asks “uhh is it in yet?” I asked her mouth or pussy. We can do it the nice way if you choose, boo But if I gotta get the chopper out? It’s gonna be tied to the fuckin back door gettin slammed like a loose tooth She tells you everything’s FINE… but I’m the one who gives her a slick cunt She gives you that mechanical bull but in practice gets off w/ a big buck One more math teacher line I’ll send ur body back to China bro Police like my worst students. They’ll never learn how to find the Slope Matter fact, ya whole fam get clapped if you messing w/ the gawd Keep talking & that auto reply. You’ll get the message when they’re gone You were desperate to champ but sorry man, it’s not happening Your league run a claw machine: started to pick up only for the prize to slip through your grasp again
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The Bad Guys |
11-10-2022, 03:21 PM | #24 |
GOAT
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 4,825
Battle Record: 14-17
Champed - Site Diss Competition
- Tag Tournament III
- Lyric Olympics
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"
Rep Power: 0 |
GOAT.
__________________
Too Rich IRL to Be Here. I'm Out.
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11-10-2022, 11:50 PM | #25 |
BesT™
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 596
Rep Power: 1628180 |
GOAT x2
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11-30-2022, 07:33 PM | #26 |
Tread Lightly.
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,309
Battle Record: 26-9
Champed - Netcees Battle League
- Battle Arena
- Tag Team Tournament III
- Tag Tournament: "Omicron Variant"
Rep Power: 18197456 |
Nah. Pretty good though.
__________________
The Bad Guys |
02-02-2024, 08:27 AM | #27 |
He / Him / His
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 1,675
Battle Record: 20-1
Champed - Summer Classic IX
- Netcees Battle League
- Fight night 15
Rep Power: 12534702 |
GOAT x3
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