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#21 |
Senior Member
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#22 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
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@Frank did you show this week?
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#23 | |
The Man in Black
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Oregon
Posts: 557
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Frank gets automatic wins. It's fine.
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#24 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
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- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899395 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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lmao I’m fielding for a one word battle next week if that’s allowed
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#25 | |
The Man in Black
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Oregon
Posts: 557
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Interesting
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#26 | ||
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 522
Battle Record: 12-12=4
Champed - AOWL Season IX
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@sral - APPRECIATE THE FEED you took the time to pick out the layering
respect Quote:
drawing back to the opening stanzas implying the last pharaoh was the original A.I archetypal yet modern pharaoh living among the simple people in Pompeii mt vasu. starts trembling and erupts as spartan Greeks invade to take over the city... I used the Jericho biblical reference to metaphorically describe the Spartan invasion relating it to the fall of Jericho but using the volcano as the reason.. they eventually will all turn to ash (except pharaoh) from there pride and human lack of love due to artificial thinker A.I soup group think possible squid creature mind control LOL the LSD flex brag was placed there cause i know some readers mind would feel like there on drugs reading this weird shit i also tried to imply how the gods laugh and find the act entertaining the humor of human war with the whole Moses ,Thutmose ,Zeus references dark humor to play with the readers attention the squid creature is exactly a relation to Cthulhu i describe him as the creature in the giant citadel that sits at the top of the volcano i was trying to manipulate the readers attention to the subliminal underlying concept of these beings using artificial intelligence as concepts while using the basis of ''modern day mythos'' referencing the songs title a spastic blend of ideas for sure happy when someone catches it ....you did Quote:
was me playing with abstraction making the environment even more surreal and chaotic and more personally psychological for the readers who get ''it'' making the readers imagination work a little harder...AND WHOS TO SAY pterodactyls didn't fly among the inhabitants of '' Pompeii metamorphosed into Atlantis'' 76 a.d. dude lol might still be dinosaurs back then who knows lol im glad the switch of imagery jarred you that's exactly why it was placed there The wrestling references where a psychological flex on frank this week by stating the battle - was Chris Jericho vs raven-in the magazine/predictions thread the whole rhyme scheme from beginning to end is based on the character chris jerchos heel and face turns in his wrestling career as he is the bigger superstar in reality but also metaphorically implying him to be just as naive as the Spartans meeting his faith in the volcano....a extra side story and potshot for frank implying pharaoh as the bigger superstar ,, im having fun here obv also shooting at universe pharaoh army and what not .... lol - legions of doom,natural disasters,jake the snake---personally i loved creating that verse ... being a wrestling fan while weaving it into the invasion and story angle building the main character '' the last pharaoh of Pompeii'' as a failed hero god ... Last edited by brokenhal0; 02-23-2023 at 08:51 AM. |
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#27 |
Badgerdick
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Showdown City
Posts: 2,633
Battle Record: 11-2
Champed - Art of Writing League
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That battle took me FOREVER to break down, I must have gone back to it 3/4 times adding more
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#28 | |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,956
Battle Record: 6 - 14
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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***EDIT @Diablo @brokenhal0 Thanks readers AND voters for trudging through my eye test and hal0's lack of line limit. Lars, the quoted wiki part you mentioned was MUCH shorter of non-rhymes...as the first few lines and a tiny part of the middle of that section did rhyme. Yes, it's lazy to do a pure-wiki, but the movie reviews were FIRE And as a self proclaimed "Servant Journalist", this is the ultimate "literal" reference material for a "setup" where I know Hal0 will be providing the majority of the barz... My opening "bar" is an easy hook, as is the spelled out hook area of the repeated quick couplet about the Persian's "back way in"... So in my first short verse there are two hooks available... My second (admittedly lazier verse) is just the setup for hal0...of course he chose his own mythology/material but the reference was a peace offering for him to make more stanzas ...muahahah THIS ISNT JUST COPYING AND PASTING WIKI Servant Journalist, your pharaoh bookmarked and absorbed 8-10 Wiki links about the battle, the movie, the goat-path...CONDENSED them mentally, only referenced later when needed and BOLDED the obvious rhymes... Regular text was my bars, italics was Wiki quotes (99% accuracy on quotation marks and referencing), BOLD was my added or found rhymes, UNDERLINES were for reference materials or a special emphasis, so sorry for the EYEsores. and the movie critic at the end PERFECTLY summated the topical match. We didn't really need voters....BUT, still they are wanted and it always helps. And my perhaps deserved "reference" "L" will motivate me more, as I continue as a hack writer to feedback/vote/write on the site for 2 weeks. THIS IS A VERSE VULGAR SHOULD PRINT OUT AND CLUTCH WITH HIS PAJAMAS AS HE CRAWLS UNDER THE COVERS THIS IS A VERSE ZYGOTE WOULD APPRECIATE THE "SPECIFIC" ARROW #'s CHOSEN, IN THE HUNDREDS&THOUSANDS BUT THE NUMBERS AREN'T RANDOM: IT'S FOR DELIVERABILITY OR delivery ability... --End rant... Thanks for reading----Nextttttttttttttt Nice drop hal0, as I said in OM area. P.S. Lars practice "delivering" nonrhyming prose, and the more takes the better...u find/rhymes, speed up or w/e, all4practice **Sorry if that swayed reader or voters. It's just that I saw hal0 had already did it, Lars took the time, and I was excited to re-feedback, and frankly that vote-count is decent for leagues these days.... Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 02-24-2023 at 09:32 PM. |
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#29 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
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Rep Power: 85899395 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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The league is CURSED
Never known NC have so much down time
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#30 | |
The Man in Black
Join Date: Aug 2021
Location: Oregon
Posts: 557
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The good oll days when battles would go up Monday, battlers would drop within 24-48 hours and battles would be closed before the deadline. *reminiscent sigh*
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#31 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
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VETWORK
Last edited by Frank; 02-25-2023 at 11:31 AM. |
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#32 | ||
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
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Rep Power: 3853346 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Last edited by Frank; 02-25-2023 at 11:02 AM. |
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#33 |
Steadily Lurking
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Beyond your reach
Posts: 1,390
Battle Record: 7-7
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I hope to get a vote in tonight on the last battle.
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#34 | |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,605
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899395 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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#DevilsAdvocate
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#35 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,228
Champed - NWL Season 2
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Rep Power: 3853346 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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