WEEK 8: Scout 3-0 VS Ajax 3-1 CONTENDER MATCH AJAX WINS

[UPN Zuch]

Welcome to the NBL

Rules

Line limit

Minimum: 10

Maximum: 16

Verses due 11:59pm EST November 28, 2020 (Saturday)

Extensions are granted automatically. 24-hour max. MUST BE REQUESTED BY DEADLINE


Good luck, gentlemen

[Scout]

16 ready. GL @Ajax

[Ajax]

I’m here. 16 works. Good luck.

[Scout]

Originally Posted by Ajax

I was doing this 20+ years ago and was a fairly primary part of creating this (you guys archived me here for a reason).

Originally Posted by Ajax

There is a reason you guys, on a site I’ve never seen, have stuff I wrote 20 years ago archived. Think about that.

But literally everyone from everywhere was archived here. Think about that.

Originally Posted by Ajax

None of the guys involved in that tourney have written anything in almost a decade. It was quite literally just an old poker game we decided to re-play once

Bitch STFU!
Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played
Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game
I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too...
My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you.
It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy....
The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body.
Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky...
Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime.
Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken;
I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid.
I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all....
This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls.
Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest...
Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen.
Seems suddenly you're scared to face this?
Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation.

[Scout]

@Ajax

[Ajax]

Man. 100 edits.... You got fuckin’ issues.

We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health…
I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself.
You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing…
Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing.
No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke…
My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked.
Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate...
While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik.
Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen…
Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in.
I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story…
Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’
I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant...
You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment.
Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously.
She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy.

Peace. Get help, brother. You need it.

[UPN Zuch]

Scout

Opener was basic. Way too cookie cutter
Single quotation was solid
Delicate remains was dope
Anderson Silva bar was blah
Mid Covid was cool but was similar to delicate remains
Hokey stalls nah
User line eh
Closer was average

Solid verse. Actually liked this better than your last one. Couple dope bars.

Ajax

Opener is swag
Refreshing bar is dope reminds me of something I would write
Overdrive nah
Bolshevik over my head sorry bro
Latest achievement is jokessss
Uncharted territory was okay
13 amendment was cool
Closer would have been dope but saw a better JFK flip a couple weeks ago

Very nice verse. Vintage Ajax. Nothing missed horribly. Very consistent.


Both you guys did well but Ajax gets this one. Fewer misses and more consistent.


Vote Ajax

[evaD]

Delicate matter
Counter measures

Refreshing
Peaking
Bolshevik is a maybe but revolting been flipped a lot

Close battle both had some random concepts that seemed a bit of a force. Scout a few of yours just didn’t work to me like ‘one sided affair’

I’m edging with Ajax here for consistency

[Coop]

Scout

Bitch STFU!
Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played
Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game
Meh
I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too...
My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you.
Above avg
It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy....
The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body.
With more effort in the setup this would be fire. Punch is nice though
Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky...
Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime.
Ehhhh
Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken;
I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid.
Clever
I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all....
This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls.
This is ok, set up seems lazy though
Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest...
Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen.
Ok
Seems suddenly you're scared to face this?
Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation.
Wtf

Decent verse. I'd mix the style up more, every punch started feeling very similar about halfway through to the end, especially with the quotes. Improving your setups, whether through wit or rhyme would go a long way too. Covid was tight. 7/10


VS


Ajax


We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health…
I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself.
You referring to his verse he just dropped or some discord/other personal shit? If the former, this is aight, if the latter, this don't resonate
You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing…
Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing.
Lol
No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke…
My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked.
Wasn't feelin it
Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate...
While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik.
Had to look that up & use context clues, clever.
Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen…
Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in.
A bit basic
I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story…
Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’
Cool
I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant...
You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment.
I see what you were tryna do, but, it feels off cuz it already passed, yet the bar is written in future tense. This needed rewording, concept was straight
Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously.
She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy.
Conceptually ehhh, not much of a diss

Definitely highs and lows, but refreshing ,Bolshevik & peaking were cool. A few others either had the concepts but missed the execution, or vice versa. 7/10



It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy....
The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body.
Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken;
I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid.

VS

Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate...
While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik.
I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story…
Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’


Either peaking or covid LOTB.

Then...


Refreshing = Quotation > counter measure > 13th = affair



Close battle. Quotables tied. I'd say Ajax was slightly more clever conceptually, Scout had better slightly better wordplay. Ultimately, I have Scout with one less miss although that closer almost singlehandedly lost it for him.


Vote: Scout

[fraze]

Originally Posted by Scout

Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played
Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game
too straightforward for me. maybe if you set this up with game references, but this a pretty simple comparison
I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too...
My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you.
meh. can't take this seriously when you guys share the same voter pool
It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy....
The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body.
this is boring to me (no offense intended)
Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky...
Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime.
this is pretty cool.
Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken;
I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid.
cool concept but your wording is awkward.
I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all....
This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls.
funnyish
Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest...
Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen.
flip is there but punch is light to me.
Seems suddenly you're scared to face this?
Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation.
this doesn't even attempt to rhyme. feel like you could have done more with this concept

Quotes: whole guard/half guard, breakdowns with tissues, one sided affair
Close: centipede

You slipped some cool bars in the middle but it trailed off to me at both ends. nice verse overall.

Originally Posted by Ajax

We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health…
I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself.
too light
You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing…
Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing.
don't like this
No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke…
My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked.
this is ok. isn't very harsh
Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate...
While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik.
meh. i see the idea, a little bit of a stretch to me
Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen…
Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in.
not feeling this
I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story…
Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’
this is nice
I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant...
You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment.
ok i guess
Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously.
She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy.
decent

Quotes: peaking in uncharted territory
Close: poetic license, bolshevik, 13th ammendment, JFK conspiracy

Not sure what happened this week, I usually don't read this many lines as misses from you. Verse started a little slow and you didn't have many punches that stood out to me as executed, though you did pick some cool concepts.

Vote: Scout both dudes are nice writers but i think Scout did enough to take this.

[dull boy]

Vote - Ajax

[Answer]

Scout -

Nobody cares what your stupid posse went and re-played
Talentwise, I'm the next generation. U atari's centipede game

ok, more simplified than my preference. 6/10

I'll hijack ya style and only man it doper too...
My use of 'single quotation marks' will rival the lonely fans that vote for you.

the wording toward the beginning of the bar could've been better, but cool idea. 7/10

It's easy to mimic a boring weirdo softy....
The only 'delicate matter I cover' will be the remains of your 40 year old body.

this is solid, but calling him delicate just kind of takes the edge off the bar. 7/10

Shotty got your security rebuilt up in the sky...
Gone from 'whole guard to half guard' quicker than anderson silva in his prime.

i like this, wording couldve been a little stronger but dope/original idea. blue does have a point about the scenario, but still 9/10

Leaving mommy, you & all the kids broken;
I'm causing more 'breakdowns with tissues' than the human body mid-covid.

nah not really feeling this, just feels like rehashed old concepts. 7/10

I write facts. So like, yeah. I'm folding all....
This will be more of a 'one sided affair' than what your wife has in holey stalls.

holey stalls is a weird phrasing, the idea is there but it missed for me. 7/10

Yes I'm editing. Usually you is the quickest...
Now you're 'struggling with counter measures' like user redoing his kitchen.

idea is a bit dated but the flip is good. 8/10

Seems suddenly you're scared to face this?
Probably a 'touchy subject' but I'll be giving free hugs in the interrogation.

not feeling this 6/10

-------------------------

Ajax -

We’re all REALLY concerned about your mental fitness and health…
I feel bad, but nothing I say could be worse than the shit you just did to yourself.

not digging it, 6/10

You’ll never catch a real veteran obsessing…
Fuck how many times you view your own threads; that trash’ll NEVER be refreshing.

i like this, and its a solid personal tie-in 9/10

No one likes or respects you. Your writing’s a joke…
My first gear is Maximum Overdrive; You got your poetic license revoked.

the connection between these ideas feels too weak but wording's clean 7/10

Plus, we ALL know my pimp game is ultimate...
While your girl’s ‘extremely revolting.’ Her street nickname is Bolshevik.

wording toward throughout the set-up couldve been better but i like this 9/10

Her handler must’ve deprived that beast of oxygen…
Your latest achievement in life was unlocking the cage they keep that goblin in.

nah this felt like filler 6/10

I’m on Billboards, Scout. They cut your mic when you start to tell ya story…
Your alias is perfect. Your work’s ‘peaking in uncharted territory.’

i like the general idea, but the execution/wording fell flat 7/10

I write like a ‘man possessed.’ Every verse is ascendant...
You wouldn’t ‘feel free to speak’ to me after passage of the Thirteenth Amendment.

nah the connection here doesn't make any sense. the 13th amendment doesnt give anyone a right to speak. they were slaves, not mimes. The man possessed idea has legs but you could've done more with it 6/10

Your bitch is huge. I’ll drop that hefty lady, seriously.
She’ll be buried in a more ‘massive plot’ than Oliver Stone’s JFK conspiracy.

execution couldve been better and ive seen the idea done a lot, and this didn't really put a new spin on it 7/10


ajax - 57/80
scout - 57/80

v/ tie because it doesnt matter

[UPN Zuch]

Need more votes here

[UPN Zuch]

I need more votes here

[Hush]

Ajax won that scout wordplay was line of the battle


Scout was way too predictable and formulaic
Every line was literally the same style of delivery

I don’t like that


Ajax had lotb and literally the only line here I liked