WEEK 2: (1-0) Des Vs (0-1) Zuch (DES WINS 5-0)

dull boy · 02-11-2021, 10:45 AM

Rules

1 bar minimum 2 bar max per post

Bar(s) must reference your opponent's, either directly or indirectly
(excluding the first bar(s) posted in the battle, obv)

DO NOT post twice in a row

There is NO restriction on how quickly you can respond once your opponent has posted
(failure to respond within 24 hours of your opponent will result in a DQ)

Excessive chatter leading up to your bars could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking.

Thread will close Sunday at midnight EST

@UPN Zuch you're up first. You have 24 hours from the time this thread was posted.

Do me a favor and @ your opponent each time you post. Good luck.

UPN Zuch · 02-12-2021, 11:30 AM

Your wife calls me on the reg cuz I’m her go-to mount
Both hands, got her choking up on the wood like it’s an 0-2 count
That’s cuz I spit game Des, never gave a fuck and it works
Her snatch is like a super soaker, i give her two pumps and it squirts

@Destroyer

Destroyer · 02-12-2021, 09:42 PM

baseball bars never hit@zuch. but u do got a nose for the sport
ur my wife’s go-to mount because she literally thinks ur a horse
back behind the bar where you belong. u ain’t a star, buck. nah bro...
if u ever hit my wife with two pumps, it was making her caramel macchiato

UPN Zuch · 02-13-2021, 10:16 PM

I literally don’t want to battle anymore, shit is gayer than fuck
Caramel machiato my cum on her and like a barista let designs layer her butt

Destroyer · 02-14-2021, 09:08 PM

bro. them knees all knobby...dunno how u don’t walk all wobbly...
she said u showed up with ‘two half calves,’ thought she meant u brought her coffee

dull boy · 02-17-2021, 04:44 PM

Consensus

Clearly Zuch wasn't dialed in this week for his battle and ended up forfeiting the win before votes were even cast. Life gets in the way of what's most important sometimes; text battles. Still, I thought Zuch opened the contest like Focker's portfolio; strong to quite strong. Des' response was, for me, the best line of the battle, by tying in a personal in a clever rebuttal on consecutive lines.

Judge's quotes

The half calves line was fucking ridiculous

He’s better than that referring to Zuch

This was really disappointing.

Zuch kind of gave up right away. Des had the best flip for me with half calves.

Verdict

All 5 judges felt Des took it comfortably.

5-0 Des wins

02-11-2021, 10:45 AM	#1
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345600	WEEK 2: (1-0) Des Vs (0-1) Zuch (DES WINS 5-0) Rules 1 bar minimum 2 bar max per post Bar(s) must reference your opponent's, either directly or indirectly (excluding the first bar(s) posted in the battle, obv) DO NOT post twice in a row There is NO restriction on how quickly you can respond once your opponent has posted (failure to respond within 24 hours of your opponent will result in a DQ) Excessive chatter leading up to your bars could result in a DQ at my discretion. Let your bars do the talking. Thread will close Sunday at midnight EST @UPN Zuch you're up first. You have 24 hours from the time this thread was posted. Do me a favor and @ your opponent each time you post. Good luck. Last edited by dull boy; 02-11-2021 at 11:25 AM.

02-17-2021, 04:44 PM	#6
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,075 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345600	Consensus Clearly Zuch wasn't dialed in this week for his battle and ended up forfeiting the win before votes were even cast. Life gets in the way of what's most important sometimes; text battles. Still, I thought Zuch opened the contest like Focker's portfolio; strong to quite strong. Des' response was, for me, the best line of the battle, by tying in a personal in a clever rebuttal on consecutive lines. Judge's quotes The half calves line was fucking ridiculous He’s better than that referring to Zuch This was really disappointing. Zuch kind of gave up right away. Des had the best flip for me with half calves. Verdict All 5 judges felt Des took it comfortably. 5-0 Des wins