Donald Slump

WRATH · 07-07-2017, 10:55 PM

Is this trash or nah

Www.soundcloud.com/mercjagger

WRATH · 07-09-2017, 02:05 AM

What i cant get feed on this

Tha Pastor Reach Yeah · 07-11-2017, 05:15 AM

Probably because we need an audio section again.

This was interesting. I like the thought and creativity that went into this idea.

There were a few negatives - the track took too long to get going. Your vocals started off a bit too quiet, and although there were some positives lyrically, your flow was way off on quite a few occasions, which is a shame because where your flow worked this sounded really nice.

The chorus had potential. The quite lazy sounding "slump" worked but I also felt your chorus needed a little bit more.

Overall, the idea was really nice, but I felt the execution was quite way off in places.

WRATH · 07-11-2017, 08:41 AM

Thank you. I agree.

Ghost1 · 07-11-2017, 11:12 AM

love the beat and the trump excerpts a lot

your flow way off to me tho

content is fine/whatever mediocre

not a fan of narrow conceptual efforts regardless but this idea could've been dece

WRATH · 07-11-2017, 11:23 AM

Thank you sir.

Definitely a couple rough spots i have the raw version and still mess with it but its listenable so im happy about that.

Tha Pastor Reach Yeah · 07-11-2017, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WRATH

Thank you sir.

Definitely a couple rough spots i have the raw version and still mess with it but its listenable so im happy about that.

How long have you been making audios? Flow and fitting in lines, and riding the beat took a little while for me to get to grips with. Probably because I was trying too much to transfer my written style of writing into what was now a vocal beat-driven presentation.

You'll find that this improves as you keep progressing and figure out what works and what doesn't as you go along.

WRATH · 07-12-2017, 12:50 AM

My editing skills are light years beyond when i started. That being said i still have trouble 100%ing a song. Im getting closer though

As far as flow i write these elaborate verses in my head, lay them down and they end up being off by a syllable or 2. I'll go back and manually cut it out excess or try to fill in spots that i may have missed. It sounds like extra work then just re recording and it is but im getting quicker at fixing the problems.

PancakeBrah · 07-22-2017, 09:53 PM

Is Donald Slump a play on "Donald Trump", our president?

Beat was cool. The choice of Trump snippets was nice for the vibe of the track.

I'm no rapper, and I detest rap music. But your voice was mixed too low, or the mic quality was so bad it made ot seem mixed too low. The first verse was off beat in 3-4 different ways. Too slow, too fast, etc. The second verse was much better until the 'coats' scheme then it went off the rails again. It was hard to focus on the content when i was trying to hear but it seemed fine. Work on being consistent on the beat, i suppose. Audioheads would give better advice.

Mr. J · 08-01-2017, 01:11 AM

This isnt really an audio section tbh >.>

Ill check this out in the future though. til then here is a friendly bump.

07-07-2017, 10:55 PM	#1
WRATH Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 910 Battle Record: 4-4 Rep Power: 7502711	Donald Slump Is this trash or nah Www.soundcloud.com/mercjagger

07-11-2017, 05:15 AM	#3
Tha Pastor Reach Yeah Allan o dywyllwch Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 163 Battle Record: 10-0 Champed - AOWL Season 7 - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 514456	Probably because we need an audio section again. This was interesting. I like the thought and creativity that went into this idea. There were a few negatives - the track took too long to get going. Your vocals started off a bit too quiet, and although there were some positives lyrically, your flow was way off on quite a few occasions, which is a shame because where your flow worked this sounded really nice. The chorus had potential. The quite lazy sounding "slump" worked but I also felt your chorus needed a little bit more. Overall, the idea was really nice, but I felt the execution was quite way off in places. __________________ Tha Pastor Reach Yeah aka Rev. George Whitefield

07-22-2017, 09:53 PM	#9
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 13,052 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899406	Is Donald Slump a play on "Donald Trump", our president? Beat was cool. The choice of Trump snippets was nice for the vibe of the track. I'm no rapper, and I detest rap music. But your voice was mixed too low, or the mic quality was so bad it made ot seem mixed too low. The first verse was off beat in 3-4 different ways. Too slow, too fast, etc. The second verse was much better until the 'coats' scheme then it went off the rails again. It was hard to focus on the content when i was trying to hear but it seemed fine. Work on being consistent on the beat, i suppose. Audioheads would give better advice. __________________ If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me?

08-01-2017, 01:11 AM	#10
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,022 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349678	This isnt really an audio section tbh >.> Ill check this out in the future though. til then here is a friendly bump. __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

07-09-2017, 02:05 AM	#2
WRATH Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 910 Battle Record: 4-4 Rep Power: 7502711	What i cant get feed on this

07-11-2017, 08:41 AM	#4
WRATH Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 910 Battle Record: 4-4 Rep Power: 7502711	Thank you. I agree.

07-11-2017, 11:23 AM	#6
WRATH Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 910 Battle Record: 4-4 Rep Power: 7502711	Thank you sir. Definitely a couple rough spots i have the raw version and still mess with it but its listenable so im happy about that.

07-12-2017, 12:50 AM	#8
WRATH Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 910 Battle Record: 4-4 Rep Power: 7502711	My editing skills are light years beyond when i started. That being said i still have trouble 100%ing a song. Im getting closer though As far as flow i write these elaborate verses in my head, lay them down and they end up being off by a syllable or 2. I'll go back and manually cut it out excess or try to fill in spots that i may have missed. It sounds like extra work then just re recording and it is but im getting quicker at fixing the problems.