07-09-2017, 09:21 AM | #1 |
obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
suburbia
you can hear the...
suburbia chime, zirconia vertebrae. pearly white spine glass thrown in stone houses, regular suburbia night whirring, rewind. chronicled childhood in olive drab paint monocle glass. wormwood and bottles of shawshank. dissolute solitude, wanderer who wallows in maze en route. delay for tomorrow. never promised today virgin diary. anne frank. marie curie disease tinture of rainbow, even if the distance is blurry to me he who knows the way to zihuatenejo. furlough father. demand you to die when i say so 26 pesos what's left in your wallet lint and mothball, merryland. plexiglass omelette. laundromat arcade quarter exchange 2 o clock shadow of death and follicle strain these boulders were supposed to be gone when i got here you shouldered me off. sunday morning penny loafer with frost social commentary gabriel-lucifer talk metamucil, retrograde. jupiter star bolivian roast, oblivion, and a toast goes to mars you hold my hand; but i don't even know who you are shout at me when indoors, but whisper weak when afar im so close to eroding, skin growth, barely a scar in my house; the big wolf. lungs pulse til' exhaustion i read a suicide note from the ghost in my closet i dont know, if he knows if this apartment is haunted by patriarchal pettiness, reminiscent negligent heart maleficent maligned distant/forgot insidious offspring with ammunition in their lips, that keep you off guard feel the metacarpal love letters til your fingers fall off once you step out the door, you hear the wooden creak in the floor fell asleep at the creek daydreaming before everytime before bed i hear footsteps coming from deep and i hide my in my closet, until they delete REM hits me while I'm counting my sheep counting rosary beads for every step wolf takes towards me like neighborhood freeze tag, counting to 3 dysfunctional beings, huffing in suburbia breeze i know that i know nothing is in love when i speak into denizens, the medicine cabinet only creaks when you close it and i haven't heard it in weeks form bourbon, to curtains burnt at the seams I'm so close to being the opposite of perfect, i scream what emerges, a bird sits perched in a tree what alerts him is suburbia breeze |
07-09-2017, 10:52 AM | #2 |
living
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,465
Battle Record: 33-18
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - AOWL Season 1
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 4
- Write Week V
- GWL Season 1
Rep Power: 77606676 |
1st
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Zack Wicks for president |
07-09-2017, 10:10 PM | #3 | |
HALL OF FAME
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: portal 7 to the 9th exponent
Posts: 16,171
Battle Record: 3-5
Rep Power: 0 |
I enjoyed this a lot more than your other piece. I do feel like you are trying to emulate Deadman, but that is cool, deadman's style is dope. AT any rate, you captured the existential loneliness and boredom which our society pushes as success. So....good job buddy!
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07-22-2017, 09:42 PM | #4 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 |
3st.
Didnt get it but enjoyed reading it. The ghost and REM/sheep lines were great. Witty throughout. Cool call back with zihuatenejo to the shawshank mention a few lines before. Rhymes and technique top tier throughout. Good stuff. The newest Bon Iver album is awful.
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If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
07-26-2017, 07:41 PM | #5 |
White Earl
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Who ru
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
08-01-2017, 01:02 AM | #6 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,016
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
This reminds me of someone but I cant think of who...
Either way this was very impressive in its length. its not very easy fitting all these ideas in one line. but you make it work with the way you form each word it might be because Im high but I caught on to the flow quick. the way you do shit like this 26 pesos what's left in your wallet lint and mothball, merryland. plexiglass omelette. laundromat arcade quarter exchange 2 o clock shadow of death and follicle strain ^^^^ dope shit btw.. that shit is just crazy though, & then you pick it up drop it on its head and go a different route with it is slick hard to do for most but with you it just appears so easy. dope work right here breh
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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deadman simulacrum, dm me u stole my shit - dm, stole deadmans swag foh |
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