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Old 08-25-2019, 05:43 AM   #1
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Default All My Friends

All my friends

are distortions. i've been pretending to worship
and ended up on pedestals surrounded by corpses
walking to the store for black n milds and a 40
hoping my regress to adolescence consoles me
i found you in the parking lot cross-legged and drunk
on 42nd and something, these apologies are never enough
we're simple like those country road cassettes in the trunk
twisting tentacles of terraform. tinfoil and rust
truly i'm done. i wake up plagued, in darkness i prayed
for something to change. choke confessionals while swallowing razors
honest to Abel, this is hardly novel behavior
learned to dial it back and started calling in favors
i'll take brown liquor now and you can talk at me later
i'll nod my head in unison and call for a waitress
mighty morphin powerless ranger, sensitive, slumped
ivan ooze more like, infecting everything that i touch
Black jacket fentanyl tucked for when we're ready to fuck
Left the chevy in neutral we're downhill leveling up
it's medicinal, this love. unhealthy / wretched / corrupted
our metronome arrhythmia unsteady it pumps
convoluted, often music leads me to cry
my favorite songs are reinforcing all my reasons to die
chameleon prime regurgitating sequencing rhyme
blending iron opacity with steely resign
see me shining brightly from 11 to 9
after midnight i'm a blackbird on electrical lines
take a talon off and let the current inside
it only hurts a moment. then we fly.





Replied to Sinacog & Deadman’s Open Mics
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Originally Posted by Excerpts of Aero HOF speech by Dominate
Now then... let me say what I can about my best buddy in the whole wide world.......
web, Aero.
Therefore, Aero, I can only be completely sincere in saying that you are truly worthy of this induction,
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Old 08-25-2019, 08:12 AM   #2
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Nice job. Rhyme scheme was on point, it read very smooth. Multis didn't feel forced even with large volume of them

The content was strong, could feel the emotion coming through.

Very nice piece, I enjoyed the read
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Old 08-25-2019, 10:41 AM   #3
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This shit was fire. A dm imitation but better than big baby on your first try...and he has btk level mementos of deadman that he wears dresses and nuts to. Great work bud.regress to adolescence was fire. Cassettes and terraform couplet was nice. Nod to Abel was unique and recalls your father's pastoral roots mixed paradoxically with your cynicism and manipulation. Waitress line continues the thought and describes your emulation of sociopathy as you have been caught in the declining American dream. Powerless ranger ivan ooze might've been my fav bar lol. DDope...metronome arrhythmia, chameleon prime, last three bars with blackbirds was fire. This goes to show anybody with a threshold level or higher IQ (120)+ can emulate dead man. At least you don't have an unhealthy sexual obsession like bb writing daily verses wearing makeup and dresses talking cryptically in his dating profiles that "I'm a dead man walking". Dope verse i liked as much as a dead man verse.

But who the FUCK...fucks to fentanyl????? Smh
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Old 08-26-2019, 10:26 AM   #4
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First bar was slick, the last three as NY said were flames...The whole middle section was just solid.

Good shit man...Rtf sometime actually don't, as you hate on me lol.

Stay upwards fam.
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Old 08-26-2019, 05:45 PM   #5
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Thanks bruh
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Originally Posted by Excerpts of Aero HOF speech by Dominate
Now then... let me say what I can about my best buddy in the whole wide world.......
web, Aero.
Therefore, Aero, I can only be completely sincere in saying that you are truly worthy of this induction,
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Old 08-26-2019, 07:28 PM   #6
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Absolute trash
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Dominate Blue has sealed his status as GOAT in my eyes. Like how tf do you write that much and keep that level of quality at the same time? There was barely a miss in that 100 line verse, and plenty of haymakers. Just insane. And he’s been this good for over a decade across multiple sites and styles. No one else is touching that
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Old 08-26-2019, 09:33 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Bayou View Post
Absolute trash
Says the guy who loses important battles.

Isn’t there another Fight Night you should be winning?
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Originally Posted by Excerpts of Aero HOF speech by Dominate
Now then... let me say what I can about my best buddy in the whole wide world.......
web, Aero.
Therefore, Aero, I can only be completely sincere in saying that you are truly worthy of this induction,
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Old 08-26-2019, 11:01 PM   #8
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This piece was fiiire

Some of the metas were insane and this was probably the best worded topical of all time

Shame we don't have a HOF section for writtens... This would have my nomination
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Dominate Blue has sealed his status as GOAT in my eyes. Like how tf do you write that much and keep that level of quality at the same time? There was barely a miss in that 100 line verse, and plenty of haymakers. Just insane. And he’s been this good for over a decade across multiple sites and styles. No one else is touching that
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Old 08-27-2019, 02:31 AM   #9
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no offense aero ur good guy but this didn't make sense at all. sounded pretty cool tho for what it was (pretending to be sad and saying surrounded by corpses) i fuck with the fake sadness.
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If mentioned in a discussion its who'd still use wordy lines and act all dope
Then again hes had this schtick so long he like bb da bb da bb thats all folks
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Old 08-27-2019, 03:03 AM   #10
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Appreciate the feed.
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Originally Posted by Excerpts of Aero HOF speech by Dominate
Now then... let me say what I can about my best buddy in the whole wide world.......
web, Aero.
Therefore, Aero, I can only be completely sincere in saying that you are truly worthy of this induction,
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:16 AM   #11
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Agreed with bb
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:45 PM   #12
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Was pretty dope up until the power ranger line
At which point I scrolled down & stopped reading
I like the flow of this, that bounce is smooth and enjoyable
the start and build up was smooth and kept me enthralled


Finished up and it was pretty tight
The ending was well done...can't believe you ran with it and went ooze
I almost regurgitated right there.
Old references like that are funny though.
Keep it up bruh
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:50 PM   #13
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Lol appreciate it
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Originally Posted by Excerpts of Aero HOF speech by Dominate
Now then... let me say what I can about my best buddy in the whole wide world.......
web, Aero.
Therefore, Aero, I can only be completely sincere in saying that you are truly worthy of this induction,
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Old 09-04-2019, 01:35 AM   #14
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Slightly better than my dead man verse. I'll have to step it up next time.
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Old 09-04-2019, 01:40 AM   #15
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And although this might be better I still maintain that I had the best dead man one liner: "fuck, where to begin?Club soda with gin."
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Old 09-15-2019, 05:26 PM   #16
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somber opening in this bitch.
Quote:
are distortions. i've been pretending to worship
and ended up on pedestals surrounded by corpses
walking to the store for black n milds and a 40
hoping my regress to adolescence consoles me
i mean...that's kinda tough though.
Quote:
we're simple like those country road cassettes in the trunk
i liked this too.
Quote:
learned to dial it back and started calling in favors
i'll take brown liquor now and you can talk at me later
iunno. i like slick simple shit sometimes. i liked this.

...kinda fucked up the tone for me by the mere mention of some power ranger shit, but it might speak to you personally, so i aint mad at it, but i aint fuckin with it.
Quote:
my favorite songs are reinforcing all my reasons to die
thats hard.


ngl, im not tryna read into the shit a whole lot, & admittedly there's lines that dont make sense to me - they might make sense - im just not inclined rn to think over the shit to find out.

there's someshit i thought were weak. i decided to note more of what i did enjoy though. but even still, considering both - i liked this.
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:01 AM   #17
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"for something to change. choke confessionals while swallowing razors"

The exact moment you went from homage to poor parody. Although the next line has the slickest line of the verse. Let me highlight it, because it is slick as hell.

"honest to Abel, this is hardly novel behavior"

That's a good line, no matter the context.

"mighty morphin powerless ranger"

What are we doing here?

"infecting everything that i touch
Black jacket fentanyl tucked for when we're ready to fuck"

Awful.

"Left the chevy in neutral we're downhill leveling up"

Leveling up is not something to say there.

"our metronome arrhythmia unsteady it pumps"

Good.

"convoluted, often music leads me to cry
my favorite songs are reinforcing all my reasons to die"

Way too direct and honest for what you're going for. Can be good, is just bad here. Crawling close to awful. Something I'd write, uber-drunk, with better context.

"chameleon prime regurgitating sequencing rhyme"

Absolute nonsense.

"blending iron opacity with steely resign
see me shining brightly from 11 to 9
after midnight i'm a blackbird on electrical lines"

Liked all of this. Middle line was weak, but connected two good lines.

"take a talon off and let the current inside
it only hurts a moment. then we fly."

Unsure if this is good or really awful.

Try writing for yourself. Write about pretending to be a millionaire. This wasn't the worst attempt, or as bad the previous criticism would suggest. You have some talent for evocative phrasing and rhyming, trying to ape our best writer just isn't where your talents align.
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:15 AM   #18
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Aero give cake a pass he's gone off the jack
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:18 AM   #19
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If by "gone off the jack" you mean "providing dope open mic feedback" then, no problem, chief.

If by "gone off the jack" you mean I'm drunk on Jack Daniels, well, that's accurate, too. So.

Kind of at an impasse here, NYC Spitz.
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:23 AM   #20
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Obv I meant the latter bc the habits of true G'S never die my friend.

Grab some sweet vermouth and bitters for 20 bucks and consider a rye bulleit Manhattan next time. IMHO.
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