07-24-2019, 07:04 PM | #1 |
Get MacDon
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The King
The crown be humongous
grew out like a fungus at Everest's summit there aint no where else to trust the world is our oyster words from my lawyer if you stuck in that boiler sweat it out, or else clam up they lackin the roster we practiced in posture to passion and prosper out for the stunt, on ramp up This Atlas aint shruggin relax in the struggle anatomical structure fashonied from fascia and muscle The maxim is fuck em An alchemist wonder crafted from once was gold transformed back to mans blood A wrathful tough stomach pushin max out a bucket stained glass accustomed sand castles fortress from damp mud Piscal couldn't measure squad move the pressure hail to the emperor who trumps cross hairs and fox hunts the practicing Edmond Dantes after Pompey drinking ethereal bombey amazed, but not flummoxed Studied in Ancients Minotaur in mazes A mental of metal prestige in degrees that dont rust My Word is extortion the works of which forks bend asleep with a horse head Greek Gold fleece silk sheets roll ups Wont speak on a cordless Rose feets and plush orchids it bleeds n gets orphaned then we meet when he grows up
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FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est
Last edited by Rawn MD; 07-24-2019 at 10:15 PM. |
07-24-2019, 10:05 PM | #2 |
SYRACUSE
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Fire
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UNIFIED THEORY |
07-25-2019, 12:08 AM | #3 |
Badgerdick
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The hands be humungous
they grab in abundance while having the look of bananas in bunches roflz |
07-25-2019, 12:24 AM | #4 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
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it's a terrible book but you really missed the point of Ayn Rand's biggest work
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07-25-2019, 05:01 AM | #5 |
White Earl
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This shit fire G. Aint lost a step tbr. I need to write some shit been way to long. But this was dope
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-A.bove T.he R.est |
07-30-2019, 12:16 AM | #6 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
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It reads like a poem in a playful way to me. You got AAABAAAB-set ups that makes its impact in terms of the latter in a interesting way. Your use of metaphors and similies sometimes goes overboard for me as it's hard to grasp what's really going on at times. After a couple reads I'm starting to see the pattern a bit clearer tho and it grows on me as a poetry-piece. I understand it all as you trying to visualize the burden of the crown and the motions of it all, and what he gotta go through in an abstract way which is dope, but I don't really get where you're bringing it towards the end. Who does who meet when who grows up?
Overall I enjoyed the read despite the fact that it could get a little bit confusing at times but interesting and dope in its own way nonetheless. Keep writing/dropping!
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
07-30-2019, 02:38 AM | #7 | |
Badgerdick
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Quote:
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07-30-2019, 03:07 PM | #8 | |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
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Quote:
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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07-31-2019, 05:03 PM | #9 |
Lime Life
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He was just pointing out the unintended multi.
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08-06-2019, 01:06 AM | #10 |
Tsk Tsk
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Better late than never, sorry my dude
'If you stuck in that boiler, sweat it out" A few good bars right around there, I like that start. Hot flow though. I will point out an instance when you went too heavy though. "Greek Gold fleece silk sheets roll ups". I'm saying though, it works, just to heavy to hold I guess. Other than that though, this verse moved rapidly and really didn't slow down enough to catch a breathe. My favorite section was "hail to the emperor who trumps cross hairs and fox hunts the practicing Edmond Dantes after Pompey drinking ethereal bombay amazed, but not flummoxed" Because you hit on flow and flex, but the actual meaning holds true. A king that is too good to behold. I think that was the main premise. I enjoyed the read though my skunk. You actually killed some flow here. Good shit I'm tagging you to vote semi-finals. Hopefully you write something else for me to repay
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08-27-2019, 01:06 PM | #11 |
The Clown Prince
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Thought I saw this in here...
Dope work. Smooth scheme Not much else to say that's been said.
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09-03-2019, 09:01 AM | #12 |
............
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Sup Rawn? Didn't you used to rock some Ronald Mcdonald type avitar? Anyways lol...
Loved it, thought the middle section was flames...Sorry can't quote fam as my laptop buggin' :{ Stay you brethren. |
10-03-2019, 10:52 PM | #13 |
Get MacDon
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Rise
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FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est
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10-04-2019, 02:41 AM | #14 |
............
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Could of said thanks nigga, aint hard lol...
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