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Old 09-28-2017, 02:22 PM   #1
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Default Ness vs Ullr - Ullr wins

Black August


SUMMARY OF RULES:

Verses are due October 4th
WEDNESDAY at 11:59 P.M. Pacific/West Coast or THURSDAY October 5th 3:00 AM Eastern / 6:00 AM THURSDAY October 5th Central European/London


Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words).

[color=red]Voting closes when a clear winner is voted for. Competitors must vote immediately on the other match. Failure to vote will result in being a faggot for a significant portion of ur life.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? You can technically start a life of faggoting immediately but its a slippery slope.

so....

All competitors must vote on as many battles as possible duh u bum ass idiots


Topic:: uh none wtf don't u know what this is?

@Ness @Ullr
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Old 09-28-2017, 03:45 PM   #2
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:36 PM   #3
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Yoo @Ullr, I haven't really had time to write as I've had other battles to write for and irl commitments. Any chance you'd be down for a 12/24 hour extension? IK you probably wanna take a bit of extra time polishing your verse as well being as you haven't posted yet. Lmk, I'll try and get something in by tonight if i don't hear back from you.
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Old 10-05-2017, 11:40 PM   #4
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Beside a trickling stream, I walked and wondered,
wandering off, my course with rocks asunder
the rolling rumble of distant thunder,
I twist and stumble as I stop encumbered
a pack on my back carrying food and supplies,
fruits into slices and a sandwich for lunch
each footfall with fervor, each lands with a crunch
a hike through the mountains, such a beautiful sight
the night is surrounding, must make use of the light
my boots are in flight as I leap atop rocks
down to the lakeside, and my seat on the docks...

The sunset brilliant blood orange o'er distant hills
pop the top of my bottle, tipped to the glass until my pilsner spills
froth pouring out, a beer to relax
my pole in the water, filled with cheer as I bask
a clear night, not a cloud around
crickets chirping soft, surrounded with sound
I tilt the rod, lowered down to the ground
and brace for the tug, a fish is bound to come out...
Eyes heavy, my time to relax
Surprised with a bite, barely in time to react
the line almost snaps, but stays steady
slowly pulling the reel, already tasting the breading
imagining the grill, and the gravy I'll be spreading...

A hard whip, this sucker's tough!
clutching sharp with my grip, my thumb spinning up
finally approaching, incoming my triumph,
I can feel the fish closing, stomach rumbling with violence
with a splash, the fish breaches the surface
and lands at my feet, I see what I'd emerged with...

A boot.

God damnit.
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Old 10-06-2017, 05:14 AM   #5
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@Ness you have two hours
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Old 10-06-2017, 12:17 PM   #6
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My bad, lost interest in writing for this tb100. key styled something quick up for ya'll just now though

“Don’t go into the light”

No one is scared of dying
the terrifying part is regarding death.
However, pain, misery, crying
all alleviated when we start discarding breaths.

So in a way, the greatest gift we can receive is a coffin
maybe everything slips away when we go to sleep in the boxes
Death can be peace, saving you from when your days are obnoxious

Don’t go into the light, that is unless you want to stop feeling so mad.
In that case, sprint towards it, disregarding every fear you’ve ever had
So, when you put it like that, is it really that bad?
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Old 10-06-2017, 12:28 PM   #7
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Ullr's verse about catching a boot while fishing was the winner here.
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Old 10-06-2017, 02:29 PM   #8
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Yep, def a win for ULLR on this one
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Old 10-07-2017, 12:45 AM   #9
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little bit of rough terrain with some of the lines for ullr, not sure if he knows what usunder means either, some lines missed, forced, no rhymes, etc. but... better than ness, though if ness had held the feel of the first four lines for the entire piece (even if it were as short) it would have had my vote.

mvgt ullr
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Old 10-07-2017, 12:46 AM   #10
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So it’s clear ullr has a ready a verse set. While ness flew of a whim and probably freewrote his verse on the spot. Feeling ness’ overall idea tbh but ullr came prepared and basically showcased a more thought out verse. If we was judging solely on concept and creativity ness might of had a chance, but ullr was thorough so he gets the vote. Thanks fellas
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Old 10-08-2017, 12:14 AM   #11
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Thanks for all the votes guys, not sure how ya'll do things here but a 3-0 where I'm from is a K.O. And @Innovator yeah, this was a key style, hence the small line at the top. Ullr is actually one of my good friends so I had spoken with him before hand, but due to some shit going on I just wasn't feeling writing for this at all. Hit him up and told him I wasn't dropping but ended keying this up on the spot anyway. Good luck moving forward in this
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Old 10-08-2017, 10:06 AM   #12
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Ullr comedic twist ending to what seemed a serious piece gives him a clear win here. Random but funny. Hate to nit pick but there was a bit of mis-matching syllables without sounding like a dick but overall imagery was dope n the verse did what it set out to do, very good execution. Tighten that pen ullr, good verse Bro!
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