06-09-2020, 07:08 PM | #1 |
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WEEK 10: MMLP vs Pharaohs army - MMLP WINS
GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE @MMLP @Pharaohs Army Max line: 30 Min: 10 Check in: 48 hours after thread post DUE DATE: JUNE 14TH @ 11:59PM EST GOOD LUCK Last edited by Inno; 06-17-2020 at 08:28 PM. |
06-10-2020, 08:10 PM | #2 |
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06-11-2020, 08:23 AM | #3 |
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06-13-2020, 10:35 AM | #4 |
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06-14-2020, 12:00 PM | #5 |
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06-15-2020, 10:31 PM | #6 |
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I’m higher than you like I fly w/ballons
Higher than shrooms that you try to consume I’m higher than planes, up in the sky I’m flyer than lames, don’t ask me why Why you complain? You’re a waste of my time I don’t need tequila, or to taste any limes Found me some weed brownies. I baked, now I’ll try I’m higher than clouds. Intrigued by sights & sounds A brownie is better than any snack I might have found When will I eat the next one? How ‘bout right now! |
06-16-2020, 05:52 AM | #7 |
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If at first I don’t succeed then guess ill try again
Its a vertigo achieved as I question life and death A pressurised ascend with the seven seas in sight The death defying levels become therapy in flight A serenity supplied to a soul that is scarred Youth memories revived with a blotch on the arm Emotionally charged, transfixed in space and time With a shot in the dark, that stimulates the mind Would lift to greater heights in discreet profound ways Imitating life I recently down played So here I’m cloud chasing so I’d forgotten all the stress In the sequence of outweighing all the problems in my head With the option to relent with pleads for advice But a role model of a friend once told me “reach for the sky” Id peaked at sunrise, the light would relight the fires The beams of sunlight would tend to revive the lighters Soon blinded by the flash from the needle it reflects off But the shine just hides the anguish of the people he reflects on Still seething for next shot although hells in reach The reasons it went wrong was a low self-esteem As those nostalgic beats before had me sent tumbling down They wont help in redemption with them junkies around I’m left wondering how long I’ve got, with no response As my heads stuck in the clouds I want to go beyond I know it wont be long if I dont start to battle the craving gotta stop the holding on and man up and face it The hits, took me back to my eighth birthday without troubles of the past No hassle or pain just hanging with Woody and the gang Nothing there could sadden me, more bliss than I ever imagined Finally, id let go and stood up to the class…. “Hi, I’m Andy and I’m a heroin addict”! Last edited by MMLP; 06-16-2020 at 05:55 AM. |
06-16-2020, 07:05 AM | #8 |
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Pharaohs Army - I mean, you didn't even try man. Was this a no-show verse? I hope so... You're better than this for sure. In the future, don't be so literal with your topic. Your picture is hinting at something, you need to find it and go in depth. You're capable of it.
I wish you took this more serious because you had a shot at a Contenders match if you beat MMLP... MMLP - This was dope. I honestly thought you turned a corner and gave up on the twist endings to write a more in depth and thought prov-- Who am I kidding? This is MMLP lol. And we get a verse about a heroin addicted Andy from Toy Story lol... and it was awesome as it sounds. You have a knack to make me immediately want to re-read your piece and look for the hints... they were all there. The "reach for the sky" especially took on a new meaning. I literally read it different the 2nd time around like "reach for the skkkyyyyyyy". Loved it. Welcome back. Vote - MMLP
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..Passed the Present and Future.. |
06-16-2020, 11:24 AM | #9 |
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Pharaoh - clearly rushed for time or something. while the verse doesn't do much, props for putting something out so there could be a vote.
MMLP - felt off in a few places. I dug the twist and caught it a bit before the ending, but I wish there had been a few more connections (though there's a few great ones). "reach for the sky" line was a re-read moment cuz it came across in Woody's voice so I was like "yo that's not how he intended... wait a fucking second". the last four lines seemed sloppy. mvgt MMLP |
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