Week 3: Dominate vs NYCSpitz

[Diablo]

Guerrilla Writing League

Solidify your spot with Guerrillas…


Topic:


Line Limit: 16-32
Check-In’s Due: Wednesday UK time
Verses Due: Friday UK time

@Dominate
@NYCSPITZ

[Dominate]

Yup cool

[NYCSPITZ]

Sweet, good luck brother.

[Dominate]

Donny Junior’s parents were very proud of their son
He was Harvard material - they’d never doubted it once
They were sure of the success that their boy was bound to become
The result of meticulous plans laid to ensure he amounted to something
He’d study Medicine like his father. That was the sensible move
Or, if he really preferred, then Law was acceptable too
He’d made straight A’s since eighth grade, - the very best in his school
Thanks to his study schedule and it’s firm, inexorable rules
There were extracurriculars too. Besides his academic pursuits
He captained a rowing team made of other respectable youths
See, their Donny wasn’t just clever - he was very athletic to boot
A perfect physical specimen - his yearly checkups were proof
This was not to mention his huge and impressive musical flair
They’d made certain he had it - part of their duty of care
He practiced Chopin daily, sat at the sleek black Steiner
Sonata No. 2 in the key of B flat minor
They’d smile with satisfaction as they watched their little superstar
Each note as clear and perfect as Donny Junior’s future was
They explained all this with due regard to the police who’d come to call -

“You’re mistaken… Our Donny would never… he was happy… He had it all…”

[symetrik]

check the news

Yo, dom... You seen this? it's some brand new therapy shit.
supposed to bring a little joy to your life... a quote-unquote "happiness kit".
a little, do-it-yourself "snap out of it"... but I'm not the craftiest kid.
it already looks perfect out of the box... and isn't that what happiness is?

kinda funny though - this whole underlying message I view.
notice how it's white folks on the cover? "applies only to you"...
just the subtle things... you're either happy or unhappy, you're red or you're blue.
"the countries tearing apart", yet the rich think they can fix it with glue,
and a little D-it-Y.
Unhappy? Play guitar or video games. Dissuading the Youth.
Unhappy? Have you watched a cute movie or eaten enough fruit?
Unhappy? Have you tried sports, gone jogging, or listened to tunes?
Still unhappy? Damn, why?

Oh... you've seen the news.

[Diablo]

DOM VS SYM - OPEN FOR VOTES!

[Diablo]

SYMS SECOND BATTLE OF THE WEEK TO VOTE ON, WTF?!

I loved the conversational tone, speaking directly to Dom like he’s right there with you. Dope. Snap out of it was a very Lars-esque little line to throw in there amongst it all, I see you. “Perfect out the box, ain’t that what happiness is?” was fire bruh. The subtleties you picked up on were also highlights here, glad you paid attention and delved into those to pick it apart. I fucked with the ending also, it was sort of abrupt but maybe that was the point. Good shit.


Dom: Loved the hanging rhyme into amounted to something, law was acceptable too got a laugh out of me. Sleek black Steiner/B flat Minor dope


really enjoyed both of these actually

glad you guys had fun with it

longer breakdown in the mag

[Master Rock]

This is a tough one. I think Sym got this but I will be back for further details.

[Master Rock]

This was one on Dom's sleeper verses (but he was sleeping). Sym came hard, with an edge, direct and pointed on all the flaws. Dom came light, Sym came with the baby powder pimp slap. Dom came with, "a little, do-it-yourself "snap out of it"... but I'm not the craftiest kid.
it already looks perfect out of the box... and isn't that what happiness is?"
vs. "just the subtle things... you're either happy or unhappy, you're red or you're blue.
"the countries tearing apart", yet the rich think they can fix it with glue,".
No contest...Vote Sym. Still respect you Dom!

[Dope girl]

This tough
Both had enjoyment and entertaining
I feel like Sym vs fit topic more
a little bit more creative compare to Dom

Vote Sym

[Wuxia]

It's kind of rare for me to entertain topical battles, but I was curious to see what Dominate was capable of. I was super into his verse, and it just felt so natural. I was thoroughly invested. But symetrik's approach felt conversational, with the storytelling being compelling enough to keep me looking forward to what's next with anticipation. The difference between the two, and what I disliked, was 1 for Dom:

Donny Junior’s parents were very proud of their son
He was Harvard material - they’d never doubted it once
They were sure of the success that their boy was bound to become
The result of meticulous plans laid to ensure he amounted to something
He’d study Medicine like his father. That was the sensible move
Or, if he really preferred, then Law was acceptable too
He’d made straight A’s since eighth grade, - the very best in his school
Thanks to his study schedule and it’s firm, inexorable rules
There were extracurriculars too. Besides his academic pursuits
He captained a rowing team made of other respectable youths
See, their Donny wasn’t just clever - he was very athletic to boot
A perfect physical specimen - his yearly checkups were proof


After this I lost interest, not because of the content but due to the discontinued adherence to the set pattern of flow, it was more punchliney at a time when my what kept my attention was the flow and rhyme scheme.

For symetric what really turned me off was when he equated race with happiness. It was almost as if saying that he was unhappy with not being white, because he perceives happiness itself attainable only due to skin color, and without the right tone he will never be able to acquire the kind of peace for himself he's looking for. It was just too close-minded for me.

That said, I got symetrik here because his verse really got me thinking about his side of the argument, when his entire verse was presented in a conversational manner. That was pretty fucking awesome.