Forgotten People

[Adverse]

http://soundcloud.com/user-601544698...od-ryini-beats

Background: I made this in my car on my way home last year, recorded using an iPhone 7, this particular project was kind of a step away from my hip hop roots and more folksy/blues ish so I know my singing isn't great but just thought I'd share something different. Feedback is appreciated

[Sharp]

@Adverse Definitely different. Thanks for sharing.

As a singer, there are moments where it kind of sounds like you're guessing where the pitch is. I'm an elementary music teacher/chorus director, so sorry if I sound like I'm dumbing stuff down (just a habit). If you have a guitar or piano or anything like that at home, I would see if you could actually plink out the melody - no need to notate or anything because you seem to know it - and then try singing along as you play. Especially when you're making jumps (think the word 'lyrics' at :54) you're pretty clearly out of tune at first then move into what sounds right.

Don't take that as harsh. It shows you have a good enough ear to recognize that 'this note sounds good' but just are getting there reactively. I can't really speak to the lyrics because I'm not really great with those.

Far as the song structure goes, you did a great job organizing it around the beat. I'm assuming this wasn't made for you specifically so you had to write to an existing recording. The song structure lines up perfectly. Nothing kills a song like this quite like being a bar off, so good job.

If you ever want to collaborate on something like this, I play guitar and bass. Feel free to hit me up

[Adverse]

Originally Posted by Sharp

@Adverse Definitely different. Thanks for sharing.

As a singer, there are moments where it kind of sounds like you're guessing where the pitch is. I'm an elementary music teacher/chorus director, so sorry if I sound like I'm dumbing stuff down (just a habit). If you have a guitar or piano or anything like that at home, I would see if you could actually plink out the melody - no need to notate or anything because you seem to know it - and then try singing along as you play. Especially when you're making jumps (think the word 'lyrics' at :54) you're pretty clearly out of tune at first then move into what sounds right.

Don't take that as harsh. It shows you have a good enough ear to recognize that 'this note sounds good' but just are getting there reactively. I can't really speak to the lyrics because I'm not really great with those.

Far as the song structure goes, you did a great job organizing it around the beat. I'm assuming this wasn't made for you specifically so you had to write to an existing recording. The song structure lines up perfectly. Nothing kills a song like this quite like being a bar off, so good job.

If you ever want to collaborate on something like this, I play guitar and bass. Feel free to hit me up

This is great feed man thank you so much I want to do more like this but this was my first attempt at something of this variety. I know I don't have an amazing voice but I'd like to become at least technically proficient and be able to walk around a track like this blindfolded, I would love to collaborate sometime dude!

[Universe]

Just listened to it while driving... loved it man. Didn't matter your voice wasn't the greatest, just really felt the mood of this.

I wanna knoooowww...where the forgotten people goooo..

Stuck in my head for the day now I'm sure... :)

[Sharp]

Originally Posted by Adverse

This is great feed man thank you so much I want to do more like this but this was my first attempt at something of this variety. I know I don't have an amazing voice but I'd like to become at least technically proficient and be able to walk around a track like this blindfolded, I would love to collaborate sometime dude!

Your voice isn't bad. This song definitely used the right range for you and I was glad you weren't afraid of getting into the higher end of your range. It was really just the pseudo-guessing way you hit some of the notes. I'm not saying you have to be technically perfect, though. My feedback was just a way you could know where you're aiming better.

But yeah most of it was solid aside from the obvious 'recorded in the car' quality, but this obviously isn't a final mix or anything