12-09-2020, 02:30 AM | #1 | |||
low tide in serotonin bay
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WEEK 4 MAG: BRETT LARVE TALKS RETIREMENT
INTRO: .
Hey guys hope the holidays were great (at least for the US citizens, you foreigners are missing out on eating all this dry af bird) I gave you motherfuckers six-seven days to write 10-50 lines but a lot of you have disappointed me. I give and I give and you take! But My will to write lately has been very spotty so it’s nice to be able to sit back and watch this league happen. No shows and all. And to all my holiday no-showers, how dare you have family affairs to get in the way of your weekly manpoem commitment BUT FIRST, A TOUCHING TRIBUTE.. Lars I wrote a touching tribute to you man but it seems as if I blew my load too quickly and your retirement isn’t as imminent as it had been a few days ago. I commemorate your career though man you’ve literally champed everything topical twice and your name is pretty renowned. Going to be cool to see you battle again these next couple of weeks against some nice competition. (IT SEEMS AS IF YOU JUST NEEDED A FIRE LIT UNDER YOU SO DARE I SAY, IT’S FAR FROM OVER, BRETT LARVE.) WE SAY GOODBYE… To @Sinacog, your hobbit hymns will be deeply missed. I’m inconsolable. After a lot of push back from other writers saying you are dragging down the quality of the league I have to bid you ado. I tried to shelter you though the world hated you. You were Rocky Dennis and I was Cher, but alas, a good thing can only last so long before you have to drag it behind the woodshed and put a bullet between its eyes. Everyone is calling for the old AJ The Menace to come back but I believe he’s been dead for years. Cocooned in the dried bukkake of many demons, cursed to never speak again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWbz_mIAShM NO SHOW SHINE Shout out to the Universe as 2 of 3 of his wins have been via no show but as he said in topicals your opponent is an afterthought, you’re battling your picture topic. And he’s let his topics have absolute hell lately. Quote:
Shout to Candy who’s been consistent all season and picks up his first win via no show. Quote:
Shouts to Scar who was no showed by big baby (which we all should have seen coming tbh) Quote:
RERVUES: CONTENDERS MATCH: MMLP 2-0 vs CONCRETE 2-0 With all due respect to Concrete I don’t think many of us saw this one ending up with him winning. MMLP took a couple step backs from the more metaphoric pieces he’s been writing this week while trying to bring back his iconic Pop Culture twists. This time subtly referring to wrestler Bray Wyatt (I don’t watch wrestling I can’t confirm) which might have been decent if he had layered it better. He hid it under a sort of shallow topic of boy meets girl, boy ends up being terrible you know, the topic every Saved by The Bell special is about. Concrete’s wording started off childish and lighthearted but his piece reall helped itself by whisking the reader away to a magical world with a lot of descriptive language and what not. His journey was better his story was better and he picked up the W. CONCRETE WINS SINACOG 0-1 VS EVICTION 0-2 I’ve invented a drinking game to play companion to a Sinacog verses, take a shot every time the words “semon” or “demon” or “ancient” are mentioned, now take a shot for every repeated line. What did you say? You just had to check into the hospital due to alcohol poisoning? Well suck it up!! I don’t think there was any doubt how this one was going to shake out, though initially Eviction signed out for Thanksgiving he was more than happy to come back and smack Sin up. He dropped a retrospective verse with a lot of references to police brutality of recent years. Sinacog connected to his picture topic less than he ever has and instead enchanted us with his retelling of the Satanic Bible for Dummies. Eviction won pretty handily. EVICTION WINS, FLAWLESS VICTORY PHARAOHS ARMY 1-1 vs MASTER ROCK 1-1 Honestly the voters thought this was close and so did I. Pharaohs army walked away with the sun here though in a pretty close clash. Different takes here and I honestly thought they were both pretty good but PA was on point he told a very linear story that also had layers to it. Rock has showed some poetic prowess but struggles to keep it consistent, usually mid-verse. Still a good match but Pharaoh won it. PHARAOH WINS MR J 1-1 vs OBJECTIVE 1-1 Pretty decent matchup here. Overall both artists had metaphorical topics and not one actually pursued the space scene at face value which is cool unless you’re Universe lol. Mr J did a great job with space references and told a pretty relaxed story, Objective had some cool poetic pieces but his story didn’t have the same impact as J’s did in which he created with less lines as well. J won this week MR J WINS NOTE ABOUT STRANGE/DIFFERENT TOPICS Hey guys we’re only four weeks into this season and I had many writers comment on the redundancy of their topics or just how bad they were in general. I get it, I mean we’ve been doing these topical tourneys and leagues with picture topics for a long while and as a league runner most people’s instinct is to just google “thought provoking pictures” and go with whatever sticks out to them. I’m trying to break the mold and go with more current artwork, and also am trying to keep a theme of one artist a week. Last week we used some pictures created by Elia Colombo (@gebelia on Instagram) and this week we’re using artwork by Japanese artist @avorgado6 on Twitter. I don’t think a writing league should be a lather, rinse, repeat type process. We should try and break the mold constantly. PERVURS: CHAMP MATCH: UNIVERSE 3-0 vs MMLP 2-1 Well with a stroke of luck the champ match of this week became the the one we were all expecting to see, contender match winner Concrete signed out giving MMLP an all expenses paid trip to the week 4 champ bout. Universe has been steamrolling through the first few weeks of this season with nobody or anything giving him the least bit of resistance. He’s been no showed twice but not let that take away from the high level verses he’s posting consistently week in and out. MMLP was impressive the first two weeks but really dropped the ball last week against Concrete and didn’t give us as quality of a verse. My money is on Universe winning this but MMLP is the most formidable foe he’s faced all year. WINNER: UNIVERSE 65/35 CONTENDERS MATCH: MR J 2-1 vs PHARAOHS ARMY 2-1 Very cool matchup here. Though one of PA’s wins were picked up via beating the league punching bag, Sinacog he had an impressive victory last week writing one of the better verses I’ve seen from him. Mr J has been consistent throughout, taking down Objective last week. It depends how much the topic resonates with PA for what quality we’ll see him come with. But Mr J will bring consistency and will take on any and all topics, he also has AOWL experience and a champ belt to prove it. I’ve got him edging here, it’ll be super compelling to watch for sure. WINNER: MR J 55/45 GRUDGE MATCH: DIABLO 0-0 vs OBJECTIVE 1-2 This one promises to be fun from the jump. A lot of words were exchanged between the two in the chat last week, Objective and YDK seemingly drug Lars out of retirement by taunts that they could defeat him, well Objective is the first man with that chance here. We all know Diablo aka Lars story: he’s a topical great there’s no denying that. I’d usually chalk this matchup up as a walk in the park for Lars. Easy work. But Objective has insisted he thinks he knows the way to beat Lars now. Is it all talk? Or is it truth? We will find out but Lars is still a heavy favorite. DIABLO WINS 70/30 CANDY 1-2 vs EVICTION 1-2 These guys have struggled early on both picking up wins recently. Neither are necessarily bad writers though. I think this makes for a good matchup because of that, kind of a sleeper battle. I expect both of these guys to excel this week but alas only one can reach .500 and I think that Eviction will be the man to do it I’ve just seen a stronger sense of storyline and direction from him as opposed to Candy but the tables can be turned very easily. WINNER EVICTION 52/48 JEOSIDST 0-0 vs MASTER ROCK 1-2 I know very little about Jesodist except he’s been around since the beginning of time, Pharaohs Army regards him as a mentor and he’s been on a spam posting tear lately that makes Sinacog look tame. He’s a bit of a wildcard but PA requested I put him in the league and have him a stand-in ready so here we are. (PS I’m the stand-in) Master Rock has had good ideas and verses but he’s lost focus midway through some of his verses hurting his overall product. I think that he will have enough to grab this win though if he comes at his usual level or higher. MASTER ROCK WINS 60/40 OUTRO: Thank you guys for another decent week hopefully these mags bring you a little joy between your various battles of writing your asses off. Anyways guys, here’s to a great week with little to no NS. That would be excellent. Until next time, Adverse signing out. Keep on keeping on |
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12-09-2020, 04:08 AM | #2 |
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lol! well done, @Adverse. you should accept contributors. the review section could use a little more meat. especially the no-show shine. But as the sole runner of the league as the orginal guy ran like he usually does, a job well done, sir.
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12-09-2020, 05:47 AM | #4 |
Everything's Connected
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Great morning read... Memes were hilarious.
Your efforts are much appreciated, bud.
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12-09-2020, 08:23 AM | #5 | |
low tide in serotonin bay
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12-09-2020, 10:39 AM | #6 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
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Hey all
Checking in. Dope mag as usual Adverse Still really crazy to see everyone pretending Universe isn't complete TRASH tho |
12-09-2020, 11:22 AM | #7 | |
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I remember the poplar trees |
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12-09-2020, 12:01 PM | #8 | |
Storyteller
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Haven't had a day off in the last 10. Part of the reason I signed out of the league. I'll come back when I get time. if I get time. |
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12-09-2020, 12:38 PM | #9 | |
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12-09-2020, 12:44 PM | #10 |
ghost in the matrix
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Lololololol this was dope. I damn near forgot mags were even a thing. Appreciate all the effort bro good shit
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12-09-2020, 04:42 PM | #11 |
Badgerdick
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lmao looks like Objectives plan is just to play possum and not check in all week
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12-09-2020, 05:33 PM | #12 | |
low tide in serotonin bay
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12-09-2020, 07:59 PM | #13 |
Steadily Lurking
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12-10-2020, 12:18 PM | #14 |
Badgerdick
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lmao he’s obv no showing, it’s been four days since he’s been on
@YDK wanna get the topic changed to something new and we’ll write on short notice to something? |
12-10-2020, 02:31 PM | #15 | |
ghost in the matrix
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12-10-2020, 02:46 PM | #16 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
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yep @Adverse
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12-10-2020, 08:05 PM | #17 |
Steadily Lurking
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I declare a new deadline for everyone, Saturday!
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12-10-2020, 08:06 PM | #18 |
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Great mag by the way...love your memes!!!
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12-12-2020, 09:15 AM | #20 |
Badgerdick
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lmao Objective dodged a bullet this week to the Suicide pic
I was cooking Some contemplate suicide’s selfish conclusion but not on the scale you and I intended to do it. The setting you choose is crucial, with many options to settle on, but for want of a better one, I opt for a restaurant. I want to seat everyone that’s wronged me in the past so they come to see exactly why my blood is on their hands. To put it into action while minimising my labour costs the white of the table cloth will help highlighting the fatal shot. Hiring a paid-deposit suit for the event that I’m staging has the inexpense of me paying cash on something I’ll never be taking back. The hem of its plain cravat pinches tight when talking aloud but means it won’t fall to the ground once blood pours from my mouth. I thought that the dour monochromatic colour scheme had the look of seeming formal while it masked what’s underneath. The handgun is discreet enough to conceal in my pocket but the magnum has it beat close-range if we were to cock it. The easier option to me is a shotgun, just to make deadly sure, as five percent who survive a headshot miss the brain’s central core. I’ve an eight weapon shortlist as I narrow the field with eyes wide as each barrel I wield and hands just as steeled. The disadvantage of peeling a cap under my chin would have been if I suddenly slipped and the bullet had missed. To put the gun into my mouth would negate the problem of taking caution and seemed by far the “safer” option. |
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