Week 4 - Flo Real vs PiE - PIE WINS

Pinot Grij · 08-18-2013, 01:26 PM

Flo, first of all I have to lmao@ your verse being how your dad named you Flo Real but you've changed your username since you posted. I mean, I think your verse was kinda cool.. too many times you wrote a line then just tacked on a rhyme at the end. I also am not generally a fan of rap verses that are about rapping, in the same way that I hate reading novels where the main character is a novelist. I think you could've done better with the concept, is what I mean.

Pie, your verse was pretty hilarious. Lmao@ "give my penis erections". Your story got more and more absurd as it went on and you relinquished your rhyme scheme a bit as it progressed ("this attacking of sex" - wtf?), but goddamn it was pretty hilarious. Obviously I like when shit has a more humorous angle so I identified with your piece a lot. I love "you're a bitch with no cash".. your shit had a lot of lol's - I just think you can do the comedy angle and still stay crispy with the scheme... the scheme at the top was nuts, but then it faded.

Vote for Pie

08-18-2013, 01:26 PM	#1
Pinot Grij Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 863 Battle Record: 23-19 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night 2 - Write Week V - Netcees Battle League (2x) - Winter Topical II - 1-2 Punch league Rep Power: 29195060	Flo, first of all I have to lmao@ your verse being how your dad named you Flo Real but you've changed your username since you posted. I mean, I think your verse was kinda cool.. too many times you wrote a line then just tacked on a rhyme at the end. I also am not generally a fan of rap verses that are about rapping, in the same way that I hate reading novels where the main character is a novelist. I think you could've done better with the concept, is what I mean. Pie, your verse was pretty hilarious. Lmao@ "give my penis erections". Your story got more and more absurd as it went on and you relinquished your rhyme scheme a bit as it progressed ("this attacking of sex" - wtf?), but goddamn it was pretty hilarious. Obviously I like when shit has a more humorous angle so I identified with your piece a lot. I love "you're a bitch with no cash".. your shit had a lot of lol's - I just think you can do the comedy angle and still stay crispy with the scheme... the scheme at the top was nuts, but then it faded. Vote for Pie __________________ Topical C.R.E.A.M.