Week 2: Ryno (1-0) vs. Cred (0-1) - RYNO WINS VIA NS

Zuo · 04-24-2023, 02:01 AM

Rules

You know the drill.

Due Dates:
Verses this week are due Thursday and will be open until Sunday.
Battles that lack votes may close later.
One sided battles may get closed early.
Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:
Minimum of 8, maximum of 16
If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first.

Check ins are encouraged but not mandatory. Also, swaying/biting/recycling is a DQ

@Ryno @Cred

Ryno · 04-24-2023, 02:36 PM

10 should be fine

Ryno · 04-24-2023, 07:39 PM

Loss to Spree aka Beans

Maaaaaaaaaan….

Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit…
Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch.
This Joe blow no shows the most. Im floored u flake combat…
I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact.
Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive…
If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide.
Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic…
It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses.
He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig…
Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!

Cred · 04-25-2023, 01:07 PM

Cash.

Zuo · 04-28-2023, 07:40 AM

Ryno Wins via NS, OPEN FOR FEED

Barcotic · 04-28-2023, 08:15 AM

Stretch marks is fiiire
Setup needed work but the punch is nearly perfect

Diablo · 04-28-2023, 08:37 AM

I thought ghost gatherings was nice too, fresh conceptually (to me at least) because I haven’t seen that done before.

I guess given the fact Cred ended up actually no-showing makes that one hit that hit harder too here.

Bake beans served to the masses was worded real nice and hit for me. Stretch marks was cool too. Solid all round.

Pharaohs Army · 04-28-2023, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ryno

Loss to Spree aka Beans

Maaaaaaaaaan….

Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit…
Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch.
This Joe blow no shows the most.DOPE to open. Just great wording/flow which is why at this pt in 2023, Ryno is one of the greats of battle text. Im floored u flake combat…
Let's deal with this closing Line3 phrase at the end after the compliments.*
I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact.
Nice, dope
Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive…
Examine the sentence, Ry. You can re-word a better setup, bro.*
If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide.
Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic…
It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses.
Fire and possibly my fav. punch OTB. LOVE THE OPENING INTERNAL QUICK last week/trash geek. And he didn't put a comma after trash like Topicalists might.
He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig…
Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!
Not bad but compared to the bars before it, it doesn't have the same super-sting. But it's still ok.

*REGARDING 2 OF RYNO'S SETUPS
(And Alottt of Battler's setups):
Im floored u flake combat
Doesn't make sense dude. To me. Flake is a verry versatile/flexible word, usually a noun but it appears you're trying to make it an adjective or (ad)verb here? Or a purposefully grammatically incorrect/tenses for phonetics? I donno, dude.
The next one's worse tho, (DESPITE ME LOVING MOST OF THE VERSE):
Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive...
Just look at it on it's own Ryno.
YES IT RHYMES PRETTY PERFECTLY WITH The Big-Multi punch on the follow.
BUT, who would ever say such a thing? In a live battle? This is "fitting the setup" to your punch if I ever saw it. AND You're a goat so it's certainly not terrible...just sayin' that it's not gr8 phraseology (particularly the middle - 'my romance makes me adorable')...So, yeah I mean I picked at 2 setups out of what I thought was a pretty fire verse.
~
**Phara checks grammar on Edit:
(intransitive) To flake: to prove unreliable; to abandon or deseret.
I suppose the sentence could fit?
I don't know. I prefer flake out on combat, or u r (such) a flake w/(when it come2) combat, etc. But..just the nitty gritty.

Master Rock · 04-28-2023, 03:42 PM

Pretty decent bar work here:
"I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact."

"If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide."

"Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!"

Fire!

Wordz AhGod · 04-28-2023, 04:01 PM

Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit…
Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch.
Straight heat, wording was dope and punch was nice
This Joe blow no shows the most. Im floored u flake combat…
I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact.
again, wording was nice. I think the "after life"/"contact" is a bit worn out but this was cool.
Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive…
If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide.
didn't really get this one tbh. The visual was cool but not too sure about the ending
Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic…
It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses.
This didn't have the same sting as the others, could've used a bit more time on it.
He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig…
Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!
The setup could use some work but the concept and delivery were nice.

overall a dope verse, glad to see you dropping in the NBL.

Zuo · 04-29-2023, 01:20 AM

Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit…
Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch.
solid opener, nice
This Joe blow no shows the most. Im floored u flake combat…
I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need an ouija board to make contact.
lol good again damn, this is actually fire. idc if ouija concepts are old - this was a fresh flip
Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive…
If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide.
now this one? Not so much. A miss here
Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic…
It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses.
fire lol
He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig…
Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!
fire again wtf Ryno

Bro this is one of the best verses I’ve seen from you, I think it would have taken a really motivated Cred in order to top this. It’s a shame such a dope verse was no showed but as we both know, that’s the name of the game. At least it seems people are giving some good feedback. Props on this verse tbh.

04-24-2023, 07:39 PM	#3
Ryno Retired Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 646 Battle Record: 12-10 Rep Power: 1601590	Loss to Spree aka Beans Maaaaaaaaaan…. Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit… Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch. This Joe blow no shows the most. Im floored u flake combat… I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact. Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive… If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide. Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic… It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses. He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig… Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid! Last edited by Ryno; 04-27-2023 at 06:33 PM.

04-28-2023, 08:15 AM	#6
Barcotic Needs no introduction Join Date: Mar 2016 Location: Toronto Posts: 4,493 Battle Record: 29-31 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Survivor Tournament - Pros vs. Joes - Key Grand Prix - Fight Night XX - NBL Tag Team - NBL Picture League - Battle Arena - Battle Arena Pics - BA Tag Team (2x) - 1-2 Punch League (2x) - BAL Battle Royale - NPL Roast Rep Power: 3061965	Stretch marks is fiiire Setup needed work but the punch is nearly perfect __________________ Dummies finna die if they coming into mine boastin Twin glocks'll spark. Waterpark; everybody running when the slides open

04-28-2023, 03:42 PM	#9
Master Rock Steadily Lurking Join Date: Jul 2013 Location: Beyond your reach Posts: 1,330 Battle Record: 7-7 Champed - Netcees Writers League Rep Power: 5599637	Pretty decent bar work here: "I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact." "If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide." "Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid!" Fire! __________________ https://www.instagram.com/master_rock1/ https://www.youtube.com/graphicalmindz

04-24-2023, 02:36 PM	#2
Ryno Retired Join Date: Jul 2018 Posts: 646 Battle Record: 12-10 Rep Power: 1601590	10 should be fine

04-25-2023, 01:07 PM	#4
Cred The Biggest Join Date: Jan 2015 Posts: 3,254 Battle Record: 67-32 Accomplishments - Gun Bar King Champed - Fight Night 3 - Fight Night 10 - Fight Night 12 - Battle Arena League Rep Power: 85899380	Cash.

04-28-2023, 08:37 AM	#7
Diablo Badgerdick Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Showdown City Posts: 2,604 Battle Record: 11-2 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 22685548	I thought ghost gatherings was nice too, fresh conceptually (to me at least) because I haven’t seen that done before. I guess given the fact Cred ended up actually no-showing makes that one hit that hit harder too here. Bake beans served to the masses was worded real nice and hit for me. Stretch marks was cool too. Solid all round.

04-28-2023, 04:01 PM	#10
Wordz AhGod カミノコトバ Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 203 Battle Record: 2-0 Rep Power: 0	Stop w/ the threats. I box w/ the best. Ur whole defense is goofy as shit… Homie the only shots we see u slippin, r the ones u use to roofie a bitch. Straight heat, wording was dope and punch was nice This Joe blow no shows the most. Im floored u flake combat… I mean the way u ghost gatherings, I’d need a ouija board to make contact. again, wording was nice. I think the "after life"/"contact" is a bit worn out but this was cool. Chicks sex me crazy. My romance makes me adorable. Truth, I thrive… If ur bitches get flowers n candles, it’s the visual after their horrible suicide. didn't really get this one tbh. The visual was cool but not too sure about the ending Last week was trash geek. That shit ur cookin burned cuz it’s tragic… It’s funny u tried to bake beans, then wound up getting served to the masses. This didn't have the same sting as the others, could've used a bit more time on it. He ain’t a killer w/ sigs. I’ll send em to a new world. Rys a sinner, u dig… Homie I stretch marks, his body won’t look the same once I deliver this kid! The setup could use some work but the concept and delivery were nice. overall a dope verse, glad to see you dropping in the NBL.