09-13-2016, 03:46 AM | #1 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,255
Battle Record: 28-3
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THE OFFICIAL S.T.I ELITE EIGHT MAGAZINE!
Welcome back NCG's! The doors of the STI clinic have been kicked the fuck open once more and eight disease ridden flea bags have exited the building on a cold mortuary slab to rot in their own filth! As we begin the Elite Eight round, the operating tables have been cleared and wiped down to begin the next test our subjects will have to endure! With competition dwindling faster than Richard Corey's hair, things are really shaping up to be the greatest topical tournament of recent memory. If I could ask you all to open your text books, today's lesson will begin by testing what we all learned from our analysis of the experiments in the last round! ROUND RECAP Certain vs Split Eight - So Atheist became the first cadaver to get hauled out of the STI clinic after his pulse showed no sign of life left in his withered body. Thankfully fellow RNR legend and general bad motherfucker Certain stepped in on short notice to bless us with a verse against Split Eight that revolved around Pinky and The Brain. It was well worked and you can't fault him on the turn around time, I enjoy the fact he was able to show - and enjoyably so - on such short notice, something I pride myself on actually and I'd like to big up Split Eight also for asking to make it fair and handing him a new topic to write over so that he had no advantage over Certain. That's how we roll here at NC. Good sportsmanship. THEN SPLIT NO-SHOWED LIKE A FAGGOT, SO FUCK HIM, YO! Nah but for real, big up both these guys heavily and hand Certain his deserved rep when you catch a second. Atheist, you getting negged like a mug for no showing me here after the build up I gave you bruh! Regardless, the less said about this "battle" the better outside of Certain being the MOTHERFUCKING MAN, writing on short notice, and getting his votes cast like an OG. Respect. Certain is one of the few elite tier writers I was worried may have missed out on this tourney all together. I'm pleased to see him involved in this for real. Even if he considers this verse of his relatively unpolished and maybe a little sloppy, there's still a lot to like and it just shows you how critical this guys eye is even of his own work. I'm not really a fan of the "No Show Shine" thing as it feels a little redundant to me but here's the verse in full for those who missed it last round, his opponent better know what he's in for! Quote:
PancakeBrah vs Richard Corey - THIS MATCH UP ACTUALLY HAPPENED, YO! We made it. Pancake delivered us a look into the not-so-distant future with a verse on digitalised DNA and an insight into the minds of a company processing computer chips with great capabilities, namely assisting a slam poet (possibly Pancake himself? Possibly. Maybe not.) with being a greater him. The thing that really stood out for me personally during this verse was the simultaneous discussion between characters, while our "Maverick" devoured pancakes and waffles with syrup. It was so well done the dialogue flowed naturally and simultaneously with the scene at hand, I loved it. Read this and weep bruhs! Quote:
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This was a really well developed affair. I've seen Rich use the "Massa" thing before in a previous piece and I love how he does that, adding a kinda southern drawl to the dialogue. You don't find many topical writers approach "dialogue" with a local dialect. Very few topical writers seem to be good at pulling off natural sounding dialogue in their pieces, and even fewer in a foreign brogue. I enjoyed reading this immensely and he snatched the voters hearts as well as their votes before snowballing to victory in the end with a 5-0 shutout vote count over the man Pan. Awesome battle. This lived up to the hype for sure! Pent uP vs Soulstice: The first round randomised draw threw up a rematch between two recent rivals in Pent and Soulstice. Soul was writing between cancelled flights at the airport so HUGE respect for him putting down such an effort given the constraints he was under. As a result his formatting was a little out of place here, with some lines stretching beyond even Frank levels of longevity, and that may have hurt him somewhat but nonetheless - his skill set was never in question. Dude is dope with his. I wasn’t sold on the “green ghosts” though in truth LOL! You can’t win ‘em all, I guess… Quote:
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I felt the approach here - being more easily accessible to the reader - paid off against Soulstice's more grandiose effort of trying to create an entirely new realm filled with ghosts and warriors. This one was somewhat of a style clash in the first round, but that made things very interesting. Pinot Grig vs Eng: Pinot didn't disappoint here after being named as the most gifted natural storyteller in the tourney with one of the craziest concepts to feature in a round that also had Goebells brain being sold on Fleabay! Pinot wrote up a tale of Joey Lightbulb - a guy that unfortunately struggled to find love and respect, because he had a lightbulb for a head. Fantastic! This was vintage Pinot Grij at his comedic best with a lot of fun lines sprinkled throughout. Quote:
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This match up was DOPE, quite a contrasting battle of styles that went back and forth with the voters until Eng was declared the victor - topping the first rounds top ranked power player and asserting himself as a major force to be reckoned with. We warned you dudes everyone involved was capable of beating each other. Looks like Eng was right when de declared there was only so many times you could be thought of as the dark horse before people took notice. I can't see too many sleeping on him after this victory. Eng put down a giant marker here to stake his claim... The dude means business! Vulgar vs UnbornBuddha: Vulgar opened up the proceedings with a fantastically innovative verse concerning buying Joseph Goebells pickled brain on eBay. How delightful. This was actually a whole lot of fun to get through from start to finish, and at the risk of sounding conceited it reminded me somewhat of a verse I wrote about a used time machine I was selling on the same auction website. Nonetheless, this was classic Vulgar in my opinion, maybe a hint of sarcasm throughout some of the lines but enough to make what was essentially a darkly themed piece appear quite light hearted and enjoyable! Quote:
UB opted for a verse centralised around computer hacker Max, and his elite hax0r skills as he seemed to be accessing the deep web or some shit. I think what did this verse great, as well as his mechanics from a technical standpoint, was that he set it in pretty much the modern day and gave it real relevance. We hear about Anyonymous and their ilk in the media all the time, here it was brought to life in full up-close magnified glory. Quote:
Cimmerian vs Bags: This may have possibly been the most controversial match-up of last round, with a lot of general buffoonery on both sides if we're completely honest. LOL. Cimmerian put down just 12 lines of saccharine sticky Coca Cola goodness while the Bagatron was struggling for time and asked The Pres to write for him on short notice. I had a verse wrote up, but we ultimately decided it was against the better interests of the tournament and so Bags instead opted to finish up his own verse with heavy nods to nostalgic '90's hiphop. Here’s Cimm’s entire verse since it was four lines below the required minimum of sixteen and still somehow managed to win haha! Quote:
Jesus fucking Christ you guys don't make this easy on us mods! Regardless, while Cimm seemed to take his more poetically cadence driven stance with slick wording, the guy with Cola in his government (but not his verse) delivered a straight up barrage of flow and paid homage to yesteryear with countless references to old skool hiphop. Quote:
The Bagnanimous decision here went to Cimm in a battle I’ll hopefully never have to repeat again for as long as I live haha! Good shit though on the real guys, I respect that you both showed up even if Bags jewed you all by not voting. I’m hoping he swings by or sticks around to help out with voting seeing as these tourneys really aren’t possible without you all, and I mean that. I do this for you all. The Pres <3 Bags Frank vs Big Baby Frank piggybacked on the back of the recent Pokemon Go! furore and delivered a verse detailing a fat kid that found a means of exercise via his favourite app. It may not be wholly original in concept, as that’s indeed what the app was designed for (supposedly!) BUT where this shone is in Frank’s narrative, unmistakably him in doing so, free flowing lines, a multi string strewn throughout the entirety of the verse and a heady balance of technical prowess and a deft pen. Quote:
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Some voters said they didn’t feel that emotional attachment to it, I can’t say I agree here. I thought he wrote exceptionally well, with a lot of musings and melancholy all touched on right throughout the verse. This was quintessential big baby, even if it felt a little bare-bones at first. It made for a close contest before Frank pulled ahead to lead 7-4 with a flurry of late votes! dead man vs NYCSPITZ Dead man delivered another delicious delve into the darkness and depravity of his dominion (I kept that up quite long, didn’t I?!) Pent described dead man’s verse as “Cinematic flashes” and I can whole heartedly see where he was coming from with that, I think it pretty much sums up all dead man’s verses of recent with that. They’re absolutely fantastic pinpoint visuals, snapshots in time almost, of relationships troubles and the cracks first starting to show or new love in the midst of blossom. One of the two, or both, cuddling and crushing almost simultaneously as our lead struggles with the highs and lows of his relationships. His relationship with himself, with drink, with drugs, with his girlfriends and conquests. I don’t think I’m far wide of the mark with that assessment. This guy writes from the heart and it shows. There’s always a great literal flare to the dead man’s writing though that has firmly established him as one of the tournaments strongest competitors here, stuff like this: Quote:
NYCSpitz had the reader transported into the not-so-distant future where a real dystopian future exists and its populace are being governed without questioning why or how! I personally love Sci-Fi shit so this was ideal for me, it even had a cutesy NYC trademark fight scenario break out but he spared us the ninja stars and Hanzo swords this time out (Phew!). Quote:
This was probably my favourite NYC verse I’ve read by him in a months, he certainly brought it here. His storytelling was absolutely top drawer and it is tough to see him exit the tourney in the first round with a verse he would, generally, have won comfortably with. It just goes to show you the level of compeititon here. The STI aint no joke! Dead man advanced in a fucking classic for the ages! ***** Last round my (un)trusty team of junior doctors attempted to predict our patients vitality. Did anyone get them correct? I shouldn't have imagined so, otherwise they would have my job. But hey, let's see who knows their arse from their elbow and who went out on a limb just to be proved wrong! Junior Doctors CERTAIN: Quote:
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***** With our successful guinea pigs having endured the first round to come out on top, how has that affected the medical records? Let's have a look at who responded best to the electro-therapy delivered in the first round and find out how this affects our initial diagnosis... Power Rankings by Lars: 5. Pent uP - Pent showed he still has what it takes to compete with the very best, though I do feel we haven't quite seen him shift into top gear yet. We all know what the man is capable of. Last round was somewhat of a warning shot whereas I feel this round will see him firing on all cylinders. With a semi-finals place at stake, Pent could be the danger man to keep an eye on this round. 4. dead man - Dead man showed there's still life in his old cadaver yet and he dodged death last round to leave NYCSPITZ six feet deep behind him. Dead man has been here many times before, he knows exactly what is required and meets a surgical knife in the form of Cimmerian's pengame this round looking to perform a post mortem on him. I originally tried to set this up as a spotlight battle after I battled Cimmerian as I feel the two styles compliment each other ridiculously well, so this is one I'm looking forward to most in a mouth watering quarter finals matchup. The culture wins in this one whatever happens. 3. Richard Corey - It's amazing how winning a first round matchup against a top competitor in PancakeBrah has actually seen RC drop down a place in this weeks rankings. This was largely due to Eng's emphatic win over Pinot earning him a place at the top table and not necessarily a result of Rich doing anything wrong. It's crazy to think that but it just goes to show you how fierce competition is around here! 2. Eng - What does Eng have to do around here to get the recognition he deserves, beat our power ranked #1 in the first round? Okay well, HE JUST DID THAT! In doing so, he's solified his spot with the gorillas. The only reason I didn't give him the #1 spot is because I found Vulgar's creativity last round absolutely fantastic. I could have interchanged just about all five of our Power Ranked dudes without major uproar though after the last round in truth. Much respect Eng! 1. Vulgar - So the returning Vulgartron re-establishes himself as my highest Power Ranked individual after a strong showing last round to oust a formidable opponent in UnbornBuddah. The originality in writing about Joseph Goebbels pickled brain being sold on an online auction site was a master stroke in creativity and for that sir, the STI clinic salutes you! This is what we're all about. Take yourself a well deserved bow and dust the crumbs off your keyboard ready for the Elite Eight. This next round may just be the toughest you've ever faced. ***** If I could invite you all to now open your books to page 75, chapter 12, we'll take another look at some previous illnesses listed on our patients medical records: The Patients Files dead man: Quote:
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Certain aka ThaTalent Quote:
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The Treatment Room Some say the best way to fight infection is with infection. I've no idea how true that is, but pitting sickness against sickness is what this tournament was built on! I promised you that would happen, and luckily for you guys I'm a man of my word. Let's see who has been matched against who in this second round! Certain vs Frank Pent uP vs Eng Richard Corey vs Vulgar Cimmerian vs dead man Certain vs Frank - This round sees two former D12World and RhymeNReason veterans face off in a battle for the ages. These two are battle hardened veterans of the game. Certain (formerly known as ThaTalent) takes on Frank (formerly i.E) in somewhat of a Teacher vs Pupil match-up seeing as Certain took a young Frank under his wing and helped him to fly all those years ago. These two have battled previously, with Frank having an overall 2-1 aggregate edge but it's Certain who emerged victorious in their last encounter. This is one for the history books for sure and we have a potential classic on our hands here folks because neither will be taking their old enemy lightly! Cimmerian vs dead man - Here we have one of the most intriguing battles of the round, two very similar writers in their approach and execution, both possessing a phraseology firmly associated with their own style(s). This one won't be down to personal preference I shouldn't think as you can just about fit a rizla paper between them both. This is gonna be a war. With so little between them both to choose from, I can't see this going any other way than a back and forth between the voters if both bring their A game. Cimmerian's preference for shorter verses could maybe work against him here and that could decide how this battle goes. Let's hope he surprises us all with something special to make this one live up to the hype! Richard Corey vs Vulgar - Two of the most respected topicalists on the net, period, meet here in a salivating prospect between the two. This one has BOTW contender written all over it! I'm pretty certain this won't be the first time they have clashed due to them both having runs in the RHYME over at PR. This is quite possibly the unstoppable force meets the immovable object. The sparks are sure to fly when these two meet head on and this is another fantastic matchup where I suspect the key to victory will lie in their ability to outwit their opponent tactically. To outthink them as well as outwrite them and transcend the topic to create something wholly original. It's gonna be a tough task for sure, but whoever emerges victorious from this battle surely has to be regarded as a favourite to go on and win the whole thing. Right?! Pent uP vs Eng - Eng is fresh off a giant slaying following that round one win over Pinot Grij, yet he has no time to rest on his laurels as he faces the pragmatic Pent uP here in another quizzical quarter final match up! Eng proved a lot of doubters wrong last round but Pent won't be sleeping on the "dark horse" now he's revealed his position. With the target in his sights, everyones favourite Russian will be gunning for Eng - and a place in those Semi Finals - with a victory here. Does Eng have what it takes to topple another legend of the scene? You bet you he does. The young pretender to the throne could soon be King if his quest continues like it started. Survival Chances by @Certain 1. dead man | 23 percent Why he will win: It’s not just that he’s the best writer on this site; it’s that he’s this site’s favorite writer. Every site, every league, every writing community has a taste preference that typically is defined by a single writer. dead man, who is great and has earned this distinction, holds a leg up with Netcees voters not because of bias toward dead man but because of bias toward the particular rhyme-fluid, emotion-driven, nostalgia-tinged writing that he hones so well. Why he won’t win: For all his mastery of his style, it doesn’t always translate to various topics. A good example would be the final of the first Winter Topical, against Lars, where dead man wrote a complex, good verse that bit off more than most readers are used to him trying to do. Even last round, I’m not sure many people actually understood his verse’s depth. With dead man, some voters tend to be more than happy to enjoy the surface level and incapable of digging past it. 2. RichardCorey | 21 percent Why he will win: He’s the best ever. I don’t say that without thought. I’ve said that for 12 years, literally. RichardCorey has a firm grasp of all the writing skills, and when he immerses himself in a topic, he almost can’t be beaten. Why he won’t win: He’s probably facing some rust, and he’s definitely facing unfamiliarity with this site’s expectations and preferences. 3. Pent uP | 15 percent Why he will win: I was wondering if he’d be rusty, but his Round 1 shutout of Soulstice showed absolutely none. That was one of my favorite verses he’s ever written. When he’s on point, he showcases great rhyming and a wide variety of styles at his command. In ways good and bad, he seems like someone wanted to build a great topical writer in a lab, but it works —there’s a reason he was Netcees’ first (and for a long time, only) topical Hall of Famer. Why he won’t win: I’ve long held two complaints with Pent uP, that kept him off the upper-upper-upper echelon. The first is that he doesn’t always grab his readers with authority, sometimes becoming mechanical with his love of alliteration and heavy rhyming and big words. He balanced out those concerns very well in the first round. The second is that he often writes around a topic instead of embodying it. He definitely did that in the first round. 4. Vulgar | 13 percent Why he will win: Winning this tournament probably would be enough to put Vulgar into the Netcees Hall of Fame, which seems like the kind of thing he absolutely doesn’t care about. Alas, he’s so damn talented and dropped one of the best verses of the first round. He also is remarkably creative, in a way that does not get appreciated enough. Why he won’t win: The reason Vulgar could use this win to propel his Hall of Fame credentials is because he always seems to fall just short in tournaments and often even leagues. Everyone knows he’s elite, but he often veers off paths of least resistance and pushes his audience too far away. 5. Frank | 9 percent Why he will win: He’s enormous. Everything about Frank has its own gravity. He has the most unique style on the site, and he executes it with fascinating creativity. He routinely beats people who voters say out-wrote him. If this tournament comes down to storytelling, ain’t many better. Why he won’t win: Frank’s greatest struggle comes in winning over this site’s more elitist voters, who criticize his indulgent rhyming and sloppy phrasing. Simply put, his style clash with more polished writers can be tough to overlook at times. 6. Certain | 8 percent Why he will win: He’s done this for a while. Why he won’t win: Ahh, where to begin? For one, he has a propensity to bore readers. He tries to master all styles and therefore mostly lacks one of his own. He hasn’t written more than five rap verses in the past six months. He spends more time thinking of his ideas than writing his verses. His approaches to topics and to subtlety are aloof. He lets his rhyming go sometimes. He was more energized and interesting 10 years ago. Fuck him. 7. Cimmerian | 6 percent Why he will win: RichardCorey is the greatest topical battler in internet text rap history, but Cimmerian might be the greatest open mic contributor. Every element of his style is absurdly polished, the product of writing like this for at least 15 years. Looking back at those older verses and comparing them to what he writes now, you can see the refinement rather than wholesale changes. It’s ridiculous how good he is at what he does. Why he won’t win: What he does is write 12- to 20-line verses with abstract cores. Will that hold up in the long run of an elite-level topical tournament? Factor in that he’s facing the tournament favorite in Round 2, and the challenge is huge. 8. Eŋg | 5 percent Why he will win: He is one of the smartest writers on this website, an effective minimalist with smart ideas and a good grasp of mechanics. He didn’t put his best foot forward in Round 1, but he still beat a star. And that 5 percent is not shabby at all. Usually I’d be giving the No. 8 writer in a tournament quarterfinals more like 2 percent or worse. Why he won’t win: He pretty much never leaves his comfort zone. As a result, wrapping himself around more specific topics will be a challenge. Will he break from his heavily intellectualized writing style if it’s necessary? Will he show the creativity in approaching topics to beat the best?[/QUOTE] Adonis Fucks up my Lime Colour Scheme Quote:
Interview with Bags The Docs Diagnosis The scenes are set. Surgical instruments are sharpened and the scrubs are off once more. Only one of these disease ridden fleabags will make it out of here alive. Only time will tell just who that will be. WTF's Of The Week WTF @ Atheist no showing, and then Split Eight no showing, after showing up originally? WTF @ Cimm dispatching Bags with just 12 damn lines of niceness?! WTF @ Pharoahs Army of a million aliases conversing with one another in here? WTF @ how dope these quarter finals have shaped up!? WTF @ the STI regularly having more viewing the forum than the Bummer Classic? WTF @ text not being dead in 2016?! WTF @ the dormant level of skill we had lying around online prior to this? WTF @ how dope them big baby votes were though?! WTF @ HALF A FUCKING HOUR of video mag goodies for the Elite Eight! WTF @ Adonis taking a turd on my lime green colour scheme, yo!? WTF @ this being so damn thorough?! Anyway, I'm out until next time fellas, Peace! - Dr. Lars PhD
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) Last edited by sral; 09-13-2016 at 07:50 AM. |
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09-13-2016, 07:35 AM | #2 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,255
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@Bags @dead man @Certain @big baby @NYCSPITZ @Vulgar @UnbornBuddha @Atheist @RichardCorey @Cimmerian @PancakeBrah @Adonis @Soulstice @Frank @pharoahsarmy @House of Leaves @Diode @Innovator @YDK @Mr. J @Objective @MMLP @timeless @breathless @Vividlyvague @Anjahl @Pent uP @Eŋg
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- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) Last edited by sral; 09-13-2016 at 07:42 AM. |
09-13-2016, 08:30 AM | #3 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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Good work. Who was the guest in Bags' video?
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09-13-2016, 08:32 AM | #4 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,255
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09-13-2016, 08:35 AM | #5 |
Senior Member
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I asked him if he wanted to me to introduce him he said "eh they'll figure it out if not fuck em"
hes in the tourney he also edited the video......like a fucking maniac would LMAO that shit legit changed me a bit after watching it ahahaha watching lars videos now....these mags r fuckin insane props |
09-13-2016, 09:09 AM | #6 |
Badgerdick
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lmao I unwittingly exposed the fact I try to actually rap your guys verses aloud to see if they flow to me
maybe that affects my voting and preferences etc? could be something to think about as I'm sure other readers/voters do it too |
09-13-2016, 10:00 AM | #8 | |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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I might do a final four breakdown to follow up on this shit. The part about Cimmerian was good. "When you left out every detail of the story, my fucking mind was blown!"
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. Last edited by Certain; 09-13-2016 at 10:04 AM. |
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09-13-2016, 10:00 AM | #9 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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Also, @sraL, that verse turns 13 years old tomorrow apparently.
http://rapmusic.com/threads/5-stony-...talent.638010/
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
09-13-2016, 10:27 AM | #10 | |
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Nice arms, bro. |
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09-13-2016, 11:27 AM | #11 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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So @dead man, am I an idiot or the only one to get your verse?
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
09-13-2016, 01:24 PM | #12 |
Ad mini tator
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Can't wait for the winter topical
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09-13-2016, 05:36 PM | #13 | |
SYRACUSE
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lmao fucking gone. sickkk mag tho to all involved
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UNIFIED THEORY |
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09-13-2016, 06:35 PM | #14 |
Razor-thin derision
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Haha nice magazine! Alien grasshopper checkin' in. More like a locust. Was that big baby in the interview? BTW @sraL it was Amazon, not Ebay. Thanks for the kind words & feedback.
Last edited by Vulgar; 09-13-2016 at 06:40 PM. |
09-13-2016, 06:45 PM | #16 |
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An I see u MIRIN cimm lol
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09-13-2016, 06:52 PM | #17 |
Razor-thin derision
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Only other three I can see it being: Cimm, NYC, or Certain.
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09-13-2016, 06:53 PM | #18 |
Mad fucking dangerous.
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You've heard my voice. That had to be dead man.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
09-13-2016, 06:58 PM | #19 |
living
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fucking lmao at veritas' editing.
i was drinking a cup of coffee this afternoon (yea shocking i know) and every time i picked up the cup, one of those fucking high-pitched laughs would re-play again or "balding loser" or "kammerian" or something and i would start laughing and have to put the cup down cause i was spilling it on the table at dunkin donuts. "i agree. it was pretty fucking horrendous." lmao this was all amazing. @sraL @Bags @veritas @anyone who participated in this thank you
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Zack Wicks for president |
09-13-2016, 07:02 PM | #20 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,794
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 82986458 |
Lmao I know exactly who that is.
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He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. |
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