throne away.

Cimmerian · 12-07-2013, 06:53 PM

Words whipped together, slaves to the pages
Eye lash an ink splash—the wave that invades us
A master of the craft? Or a chapter from the past?
Sweat and tears reared an empire for the ages
I siege to seize them, breathe in and free them—
A continent of consonants, my legion of demons
The letters are unfettered, bathed in a cadence
Of unchained melodies, bars from their cages
A blade to its skin—showered a page with a pen
Cut across the surface, birth the stains from within
I read chivalry's dead, to knight is gone today
Rise to see the son who'll put me in my grave—
Prince and a pauper, all the paper stones to play
Kingdom comes crumpled up and throne away.

Zen · 12-07-2013, 06:57 PM

Nice use of alliteration and word usage in this. It was poetic, but I still feel like it could be rapped. That's rare. Although this is short I can see you have talent. I hope to read more of your work soon.

I siege to seize them, breathe in and free them—
A continent of consonants, my legion of demons
^Nice.

Feed on my piece Loser would be appreciated. Stay active man.

ill nik-A · 12-07-2013, 07:04 PM

Cimm, how are u man?! Good to see u doing the usual

Nice verse I'll feed it better later

Cimmerian · 12-07-2013, 07:07 PM

Hey, buddy. Doing well. Busy with work/life. Felt like writing something real quick.

Split · 12-07-2013, 07:41 PM

dope wording. thought it was a tight concept too. i think the last couple lines you had momentum, shouldve kept going. welcome yo.

Vulgar · 12-07-2013, 07:46 PM

This piece was cool. You kept an old book/medieval literature feel going that was effective. Not much else to say because it was short.

Keep doing you

Geno · 12-07-2013, 09:17 PM

Digging this
Nice idea. Good to see you.

Certain · 12-11-2013, 02:57 AM

Contrary to the worries displayed here, I think you still mostly have it. The wordplay was sharp. The targets were hit. This was nothing special as far as a Cimmerian verse, but it was an effective display of your talent. Welcome to the board.

Baron Mynd · 12-12-2013, 10:14 AM

A master of the craft? Or a chapter from the past?

thought that line was dope

rest was solid as ever

keep that pen moving!

12-07-2013, 06:53 PM	#1
Cimmerian Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 142 Rep Power: 2933495	throne away. Words whipped together, slaves to the pages Eye lash an ink splash—the wave that invades us A master of the craft? Or a chapter from the past? Sweat and tears reared an empire for the ages I siege to seize them, breathe in and free them— A continent of consonants, my legion of demons The letters are unfettered, bathed in a cadence Of unchained melodies, bars from their cages A blade to its skin—showered a page with a pen Cut across the surface, birth the stains from within I read chivalry's dead, to knight is gone today Rise to see the son who'll put me in my grave— Prince and a pauper, all the paper stones to play Kingdom comes crumpled up and throne away.

12-07-2013, 07:04 PM	#3
ill nik-A Super Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 7,407 Battle Record: 70-25 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - Battle Arena - BA Picture - Picture Battle Tournament - Netcees Battle League (3x) - Netcees Writers League (2x) - Summer Classic VI - Fall Brawl III - Netcees Battle League Season X - Lyric Olympics Rep Power: 77164516	Cimm, how are u man?! Good to see u doing the usual Nice verse I'll feed it better later __________________ Grumpy old man.

12-07-2013, 07:41 PM	#5
Split . Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 8,904 Battle Record: 27-22 Rep Power: 85899395	dope wording. thought it was a tight concept too. i think the last couple lines you had momentum, shouldve kept going. welcome yo. __________________ http://split8.yolasite.com

12-07-2013, 09:17 PM	#7
Geno White Earl Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Philly Cat. Posts: 12,325 Battle Record: 10-15 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF (4x) Champed - Netcees Writers League - Write Week I - Write Week 8 Rep Power: 50036758	Digging this Nice idea. Good to see you. __________________ *-A.bove T.he R.est*

12-11-2013, 02:57 AM	#8
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899402	Contrary to the worries displayed here, I think you still mostly have it. The wordplay was sharp. The targets were hit. This was nothing special as far as a Cimmerian verse, but it was an effective display of your talent. Welcome to the board. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

12-07-2013, 06:57 PM	#2
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,104 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079719	Nice use of alliteration and word usage in this. It was poetic, but I still feel like it could be rapped. That's rare. Although this is short I can see you have talent. I hope to read more of your work soon. I siege to seize them, breathe in and free them— A continent of consonants, my legion of demons ^Nice. Feed on my piece Loser would be appreciated. Stay active man.

12-07-2013, 07:07 PM	#4
Cimmerian Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 142 Rep Power: 2933495	Hey, buddy. Doing well. Busy with work/life. Felt like writing something real quick.

12-07-2013, 07:46 PM	#6
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604317	This piece was cool. You kept an old book/medieval literature feel going that was effective. Not much else to say because it was short. Keep doing you

12-12-2013, 10:14 AM	#9
Baron Mynd PROVEN BITER Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Wolverhampton, England Posts: 285 Rep Power: 0	A master of the craft? Or a chapter from the past? thought that line was dope rest was solid as ever keep that pen moving!