Scrambled.

Certain · 12-11-2013, 02:50 AM

I've cracked a few
eggs
in my time.
They were about the size of
your eyes.
And they never really meant much to me.
And they never meant much to me.
And they never meant much.
And they never.
I never.
We weren't more than that, those bubbling eggs
on the griddle's surface,
popping and sizzling beneath the bacon's
fat.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,
but it's dinnertime.
And the toast is burnt.

Mael · 12-12-2013, 04:19 AM

What kind of feed are you looking for?

Objective · 12-12-2013, 09:33 AM

This was dope. Enjoyed the poem from start to finnish.

Don't know if I understood it completely, but this seems to me that you're speaking of a relationship that isn't exactly serious from your part, but it is from her. However, it seems to be developing either way as you've already reached the stage where it gets serious and you haven't reached that point yet. Truly a poem that shows the differences in emotions in the start of a relationship, or the feelings that surround a relationship of the kind you're talking about in the poem.

Enjoyed it. If you plan to write more poems I'm definitely looking forward to them. Well done.

zygote · 12-12-2013, 09:27 PM

Reminds me stylistically of the poem 'like a flower in the rain' but the content is more conservative here. Perhaps you could have been even more minimalist with the language (thought the popping and sizzling part was the least effective, couldn't explain why though). The ending was nice.

Darth Yoda · 12-12-2013, 09:38 PM

Indeed the ending was very good

Wise Wiggles · 12-12-2013, 09:41 PM

I felt it in my loins

A tingle

big baby · 12-12-2013, 09:59 PM

Such an intense repertoire of extension you seem to be having here. The ending as stated was well rehearsed. Kudos

Nigma · 12-13-2013, 06:06 PM

Hi I am mid herd of the sheeple, this was different and weird but had all the components for enjoyment and a cute ending.

PancakeBrah · 12-13-2013, 06:25 PM

I liked this one. Obviously.

12-11-2013, 02:50 AM	#1
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,072 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899402	Scrambled. I've cracked a few eggs in my time. They were about the size of your eyes. And they never really meant much to me. And they never meant much to me. And they never meant much. And they never. I never. We weren't more than that, those bubbling eggs on the griddle's surface, popping and sizzling beneath the bacon's fat. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but it's dinnertime. And the toast is burnt. Last edited by Certain; 12-11-2013 at 03:16 AM.

12-12-2013, 09:33 AM	#3
Objective ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,787 Battle Record: 17-32 Rep Power: 52474189	This was dope. Enjoyed the poem from start to finnish. Don't know if I understood it completely, but this seems to me that you're speaking of a relationship that isn't exactly serious from your part, but it is from her. However, it seems to be developing either way as you've already reached the stage where it gets serious and you haven't reached that point yet. Truly a poem that shows the differences in emotions in the start of a relationship, or the feelings that surround a relationship of the kind you're talking about in the poem. Enjoyed it. If you plan to write more poems I'm definitely looking forward to them. Well done. __________________ I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave, So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o

12-12-2013, 09:41 PM	#6
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,507 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788019	I felt it in my loins A tingle __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

12-13-2013, 06:06 PM	#8
Nigma The COAT... Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 1,724 Battle Record: 28-20 Champed - Art of Writing League (x3) Rep Power: 4595810	Hi I am mid herd of the sheeple, this was different and weird but had all the components for enjoyment and a cute ending. __________________

12-13-2013, 06:25 PM	#9
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 13,052 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899406	I liked this one. Obviously. __________________ If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me?

12-12-2013, 04:19 AM	#2
Mael Almighty Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 580 Battle Record: 2-3 Rep Power: 428840	What kind of feed are you looking for?

12-12-2013, 09:27 PM	#4
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 502 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737825	Reminds me stylistically of the poem 'like a flower in the rain' but the content is more conservative here. Perhaps you could have been even more minimalist with the language (thought the popping and sizzling part was the least effective, couldn't explain why though). The ending was nice.

12-12-2013, 09:38 PM	#5
Darth Yoda Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 408 Battle Record: 6-2 Accomplishments - Open Mic HOF Rep Power: 20182436	Indeed the ending was very good

12-12-2013, 09:59 PM	#7
big baby obsessed Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: fucka idiyote Posts: 5,716 Battle Record: Faggot-1 Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2 Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2 - was candidate for gerber baby 3x - smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote" - smush beer on head and didn't cry - parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once - when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan - won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a - neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper - set neighbor house on fire lmao - fuck neighbor husband and wife - first fish caught resembled david ortiz - colin kaepernick - related to genghis khan - elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club - never lost game of hide and seek Rep Power: 8599678	Such an intense repertoire of extension you seem to be having here. The ending as stated was well rehearsed. Kudos