musical chair

[big baby]

it's almost complete. distance between falling apart
from whispering secrets, sequence you act non chalant
like, a purist in person. told you to stop kissing my heart
questioned why, choking back tears. au revoir
so insincere. brassiere draped over post traumatical scar
and it's worthless. holding hands under jupiter mars
deafening stare. kaleidoscopic. where we grew afar
or begun growing. to knowing it was doomed to begin with
congruent in interests. confusing indifference
with sultry disclosure. whispering secrets. a bottle of stol'
acting as if you didn't already know
marlboro rogue. leads in my chest. heart in my throat
it's okay because, a month seems so long ago
speaking sweet nothings with nobody to listen
I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry
evolving into something without your permission
where's the accomplice? bonnie with a glock to their clyde
are we only partners in crime when the love has subsided?
throw me a bone. tossed to the side
how oddly shakespearean
homeopathic dosage delirious
slowly becoming romeo through the experience
juliet, my rose, you told me not to pick flowers for you
to let them grow and die without interference from you
i slowly understood what you meant what you said
when you blinked once and said nothing in bed
presumptuous. dead. volcanic crust villages
trojan horse valentine. hold it close to your breast
let me invade you. while we both hope for the best
consolation delay.
wide awake for hours. you sleep on my chest
how to enjoy a private dinner, without making a noise
paris to my helen- keep kidnapping my voice
cross an ocean, fight the army waiting at troy
calloused rejoice. carry the spoils from my battle deployment
wearing a cast on the places you touched out of choice
colliding connection, copasetic, catharsis, caress.
coalescing conversations under our breaths
touching soil under toes. label it normal behavior
letting out guttural moans, sultry, fluttering. flavor
it's okay. i get it. it's just sand in the wind
to drinking from chalices any chance that we get
to get lost in inebriation, just to forget
how we treat each other when we kiss with our
my mother once said, my child you love without any condition
a gift i admire in you. it worried her sick
to be at arms with a lovelust, gun to your neck
shot glass throwback. wipe off the taste from my lip
barely consent to this insatiable tryst
listening to playlists, and the rain hit our heads
save me a seat. musical chair gallantry version
the last one standing when i asked myself who is your perfect

[PancakeBrah]

Deserves some feedback.

[Hush]

Dope

[Exis]

^^Yep...but gotta love how nigga spit like this yet troll like a bitch, classic as.

[veritas]

where's the accomplice? bonnie with a glock to their clyde
are we only partners in crime when the love has subsided?
throw me a bone. tossed to the side
how oddly shakespearean
homeopathic dosage delirious
slowly becoming romeo through the experience
juliet, my rose, you told me not to pick flowers for you
to let them grow and die without interference from you
i slowly understood what you meant what you said
when you blinked once and said nothing in bed
presumptuous. dead.


so sick and accurate. well done, sir baby.

[dead man]

evolving into something without your permission

how oddly shakespearean
homeopathic dosage delirious
slowly becoming romeo through the experience

slowly understood what you meant what you said
when you blinked once and said nothing in bed

sort of unclear not the first line here but the little snapshot at the end was fantastic.

trojan horse valentine. hold it close to your breast
let me invade you. while we both hope for the best

contender for my favorite bit

my mother once said, my child you love without any condition
a gift i admire in you. it worried her sick
to be at arms with a lovelust, gun to your neck
shot glass throwback. wipe off the taste from my lip

i mean, this and even the 10-12 lines preceding it were excellent. i mean you really hit a stride right around 'spoils from my battle deployment' where every word began to strike home. intertia and force almost devoid of resistance. flow state grinding into place.

furthermore, your skill for overlaying concepts across other thoughts [ie. your trojan war scene] was on full display here. you always give the reader something to discover. and re-discover again on subsequent readings. there's beauty in that.

vastly bittersweet and fun to read for all the wrong reasons


thanks!

[dead man]

sorry but this was actually so fucking good

[Eŋg]

word.

[Scar]

man after reading this, i came away very discouraged (or maybe "intimidated" is a more appropriate choice of word)

awesome work my man. thanks for bumping this.

[Objective]

This was brilliant. Plenty of good moments, poignant choice of words with fluent flow. Dopeness