09-02-2020, 01:10 PM | #1 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
Round One: Johnny 6-Feet vs Blue Bayou - JOHNNY 6-FEET WINS!
Welcome, boils and ghouls! This is the opening round of the biggest topical tournament in the Netcees calendar year. 16 entrants. 8 battles. 4 winners. 32 lines separating you and the losers bench. Do not disappoint. We have replacements on hand ready to fill-in on short notice, you WILL get a battle so please do not assume your opponent is no-showing. It’s go hard or home. This is it. Check-in’s are due: Fri 4th September 9pm UK time. Verses are due: Tuesday 8th September 9pm UK time. Topics were randomly assigned thanks to UserName. Your topic is: @UserName @Blue Bayou
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
09-02-2020, 01:25 PM | #2 |
K I N G
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 685
Battle Record: 15-10
Rep Power: 3228862 |
Czech.
__________________
First Class |
09-02-2020, 01:55 PM | #3 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,089
Battle Record: 41-24
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 3
- Alias Tournament II
- Fight Night XLVIII
- Fight Night XXV
- Fight Night XV
- Fight Night (3x)
- Netcees Battle League (4x)
- NBL Tag Team Season 3
- Lyric Olympics
- 1-2 Punch League (3x)
- Battle Arena League (2x)
- Key Grand Prix 2018 1/2
- BA Tag
- NPL Roast
- Netcees Pic League
Rep Power: 17502332 |
Don't say another goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else--word one--I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins you will hear the sound of children screaming--as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
Check
__________________
"I shit myself
I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip Last edited by Blue Bayou; 09-04-2020 at 05:52 PM. |
09-02-2020, 02:00 PM | #4 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
- Netcees Pic League
- NPL Season I
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season XV
Rep Power: 83701996 |
Damn nice verse blue
|
09-08-2020, 04:37 PM | #5 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,089
Battle Record: 41-24
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 3
- Alias Tournament II
- Fight Night XLVIII
- Fight Night XXV
- Fight Night XV
- Fight Night (3x)
- Netcees Battle League (4x)
- NBL Tag Team Season 3
- Lyric Olympics
- 1-2 Punch League (3x)
- Battle Arena League (2x)
- Key Grand Prix 2018 1/2
- BA Tag
- NPL Roast
- Netcees Pic League
Rep Power: 17502332 |
"Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and i piss excellence!" -Cole Trickle . . . Crept on a blonde at the ATM, took a glock & clocked the chick She lost her balance, then lost her balance… I robbed the bitch Looked at her as she lay helpless, blood covered her white face It’s the time, place for tonight’s rape was my fucking mind state Quickly surveyed the area, heard noises & almost panicked but It was pitch black I was wearing all black, plus I’m black as fuck Decided to carry her to my car… the irony showed I’m a loner taking her limp body to my vehicle all the while growing a boner Threw her in the front seat, peeled off thinking it’s the right idea I’m driving with her purse, a gun in my hand feeling like Madea Had to make sure the ride was quiet so I took the scenic route She felt bumps on the road only because I pulled my penis out She’s unconscious, hand on my diseased dick, this is the life Riding through the night with a Caucasian like this is my wife My joy comes full circle as the moon reflects the light of the sun The moon shimmers off her pale skin & I glow bright as the sun Or the glow from her phone as it rings loudly, what a mistake!! FAAAAAACK we’re 5 minutes from home and this bitch is awake She screams “HELLLLLP!!” starts flailing we get in a physical fight I punch her with my free hand & explain “This isn’t your night..” She grabs the wheel we start to swerve while car is on coast She’s yanking aggressively this bitch is trying to kill us both I choked her and she stopped immediately & burst into tears I said I’m the person to fear and it just gets worsened from here Said you’re my wife for a day, you’re going to take pipe in the A We arrive at my place, kitchen counter with a knife to her face She kneed me in the balls, I’m thinking what whore hasn’t? I love ball torture this bitch unknowingly leads me to an orgasm I fall to the floor spazzin’, like I’m having bouts with demons Withering on the tile ejaculating copious amounts of semen She ran out the house, escaped in my car with the nice rims Now I’m in jail with a 6’8 275 pound murderer who likes men I’m a pint sized pretty boy so there’s no use in refusing entry You see my power was my dick now it’s being used against me
__________________
"I shit myself
I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip |
09-09-2020, 11:36 AM | #6 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
Johnny 6-Feet:
Videodrome The TV screen is a vampire, a damn liar Promises dreams of sweet release around it's electronic campfire Endless repeats from the machine chief, his broadcast divine Saps my life away one minute, hour, year at a time Why shouldn't it? There's not a damn thing out there for me! And at home, endless lectures about our 'glorious history' Call us oversensitive; ungrateful millennials and snowflakes But two words 'Ok, boomer' and the baby's bough breaks Trying not to think how my family trampolined the social classes Up, then down again 'Thanks for the PlayStation!' as I stand in the ashes They flushed the economy down the toilet and didn't change the paper roll It takes it toll trying to find a career to save my soul I break my back for minimum wage, til I stand and shout, why? Evenings swimming in rage, drinking my bank account dry Sanctuary in my silver screens, their glow a brilliant sheen Broadcast subliminal whispers to the ears of willing teens The corporate sponsored News is finally where I get my answer Pointed a digital finger where I direct my anger "The system's corrupted! The government has failed you! All the Republicans are evil! They should go to jail too! They're the Nazis! Punch a Nazi! Start a riot! You're righteous!" As if this wasn't a transparent attempt to divide us But kids are dumb and energetic so I took to the streets By hour 3 the cries of 'Medic!' cut through the flames; the cities wreathe Broken glass danced on sidewalks to the march of the boots Drowning out a noisy conscience in hearts of hearts knew the truth That we were played by puppeteers; lines of code were the strings Fanned the flames in podium speeches to deliver blows to the Presi-... King Disaffected, dead end lives, used for fuel then gone from sight... ...But it's probably all those video games causing the problem, right?
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
09-09-2020, 12:18 PM | #7 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,042
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Rep Power: 84181417 |
I got Johnny by default cuz he used the pic and didn’t depict sexual assault
Good battle dudes
__________________
Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
09-09-2020, 12:30 PM | #8 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Blue - Was wondering if we’d get the Blue who gave Bodey a run for her money or the one that dropped a battle verse in a topical bout against NYC. We got something in the middle here lol this verse was entertaining from start to finish, the ending bar was fucking hilarious, this is kind of like an expanded version of Sublime’s ‘Date Rape’ record. But yeah I mean what did your verse have to do with the pic? If this was the first Black August you’d have had a high chance to win this
Johnny - Not your best verse and it felt like you were a bit cramped like I told Lars (we usually had what an extra 18 lines to work with in the GWL?) But based on the short time frame you were given to churn out this quality of a verse we’ll have to watch out for you in the next round. Very cool depiction of what’s happening in the world tackled a lot of social Issues without being too preachy and the conclusion was great. Good job sir V/Johnny |
09-09-2020, 12:41 PM | #9 |
ExSol Meets HolyIsh
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: IRL
Posts: 148
Battle Record: 4-2
Rep Power: 2127059 |
Blue: What was it like to write this story? It's horrifying, menacing and very very dark.
It felt to me like a bazooka to the mind and read like a cannon in my soul. One day after people were killed in the labor day shootings, I traveled to netcees to better understand the literary genius of military-style topicals and, hopefully, explain their appeal to nerds. But mostly, I was just terrified. I've read fiction before, but never something like a blue topical. Read lightly on the internet and the resulting explosion of thoughts is humbling and deafening (even with eyeglass protection). The recoil bruised my shoulder, which can happen if you don't know what you're doing. The brash line rhymes disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of intelligence and destruction made me sick. The wordplay loud like a bomb gave me a temporary form of PTSD. For at least an hour after reading the topical just a few times, I was anxious and irritable. Even with the forum in dark mode, it is very simple to read off two dozen lines before you even know what has happened. If illegally modified to fully light mode, it doesn't take any imagination to see dozens of lines falling in front of you screen. All it takes is the will to do it. One topical battle can be gone in 60 seconds. Johnny: I thought your take on the picture was interesting and you had some good lines. The rhyme scheme was decent and I thought the imagery of being drawn to the tv was good, especially "Broadcast subliminal whispers to the ears of willing teens" which really stood out to me. Vote: Johnny. More topical, definitely relative to the picture at hand and felt he conveyed his idea of the subject slightly better.
__________________
mere morals fall again, mere mortals stall my blades? ive gone everywhere 'n everywhere gone gotten Hall of Fame |
09-09-2020, 01:09 PM | #10 |
Spoiled brat
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Detroit
Posts: 1,997
Battle Record: 25-3
Champed - Now Or Never 2020
- Netcees Pic League
- NPL Season I
- Netcees Battle League
- NBL Season XV
Rep Power: 83701996 |
Lmao, Blue have no fucks here. Good stuff my friend but I guess I’m missing the connection to the picture. Def some good lines though.
Johnny. Nice and complex verse with a good approach. Had a 1984 feel to it a bit which is sweet. Well-written. Vote Johnny Good stuff boys |
09-10-2020, 03:37 PM | #11 |
Ukrainian Howlitzers
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,089
Battle Record: 41-24
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 3
- Alias Tournament II
- Fight Night XLVIII
- Fight Night XXV
- Fight Night XV
- Fight Night (3x)
- Netcees Battle League (4x)
- NBL Tag Team Season 3
- Lyric Olympics
- 1-2 Punch League (3x)
- Battle Arena League (2x)
- Key Grand Prix 2018 1/2
- BA Tag
- NPL Roast
- Netcees Pic League
Rep Power: 17502332 |
Upping for more votes
Hopefully the rest of the voters arent senile
__________________
"I shit myself
I had to throw my underwear in the dumpster outback Uve won" -kungfugrip |
09-10-2020, 03:59 PM | #12 |
Shrewd as evearthed
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Wolverhampton, England
Posts: 8,230
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
- The Winter Topical
- Topical Martyrs
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Lyric Olympics
- Art of Writing League
- Guerrilla Writing League (2x)
- Black August II
Rep Power: 85899391 |
Vote - Johnny
__________________
- Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season) |
09-10-2020, 10:44 PM | #13 |
Ad mini tator
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54
Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 85899399 |
Vote blue
|
09-11-2020, 01:07 PM | #14 |
Senior Member
|
Vote- johnny I felt like his verse is a better storyteller
compare to blue. |
09-11-2020, 02:59 PM | #15 |
rockkFresh
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 11328542 |
I’m driving with her purse, a gun in my hand feeling like Madea
Lol, that made me laugh. Not sure how I feel about a rape story. Or, how it ties into the picture. The flow was there, wordplay, well worded, except, for the worsened bar.. Idk, it was written well. I just don't like the idea behind it or how I don't see how it matched the topic. Johnny; Evenings swimming in rage, drinking my bank account dry Sanctuary in my silver screens, their glow a brilliant sheen Broadcast subliminal whispers to the ears of willing teens I liked those lines. Anger / answer not rhyming threw the flow off. It was smoooth until then. Overall, really solid verse. This tied into the topic very well. Enjoyable read. vJohnny |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|