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Old 07-13-2013, 01:00 AM   #1
Vulgar
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Default A Portait of Sri Lanka



I’m unsteady, the bloodletting is tongue stretching
Picture a slum setting, unkempt with a rough heading
Tribes get involved, when nature, with its rises and falls
Entices us all to question life and its inviolate call
Sometimes even the sun catches the horizon off guard
Illuminating the land - all the mountains, pines & bazaars




Legends state, that trees grow broader in a wretched place
much like cells strengthen when ensconcing in the reddish fray
The warmth of the ground is a meditative magma, in essence, fate
each tectonic shift leaves a messy plate; appetite makes us levitate
The life substance of any given creation is a curious fluid
he stands in a burgundy tunic, earthly attunement is a purity movement
While many would jump at the chance of omnipotence...
Some prefer to be human.
undeterred by the units perverted, deluded. Copernicus knew it
Persian, Peruvian or Nubian, in search of the wooly men
Are we truly men who are on the verge of being usurped of our nutrients?
because while new sequences emerge from the petri dish of our lineage
The growth of our history rarely deviates from traditional compendiums
Everyone has plants to water, children to feed
embryos supplant a larger mural to heed
symbiotic relationships foster fertile proceeds
for foster parents to adopt a pharyngeal surgical league
to cut out all of our bad intentions so we can cure The Disease
It’s the workings of Me, You, the sperm’s eternal dirge of the sea
What are ethnicities? Are they real cities with a mayor and such?
truthfully, are we dunking the ball or just laying it up?
Are we under the sprawl of a decaying, corrupt age of distrust,
scraping the clutches, raping a mother who simply claimed it enough?
Do we show compassion or are we just following moral restraints
I’m convinced that Right and Wrong are dead planets, orbiting Faith
Some pray to God, others prey on others as the “lords” of their race
while being elitist only means one thing: priorities are sorely misplaced
Writer’s Block is a biological weapon set against us apes
for bible scholars, vying authors - selected strains to alter our genetic traits
Science fosters collective drainage of innovation, meant to resonate
flesh is clay, imprisoned in Section 8, nocturnal insects definitely relate
If you’re feeling implored, take a trek with the spiritual Moor
Man walks on two limbs yet it’s his brain he mostly needs agility for
Some rest under sycamores sipping Coors from society’s umbilical cord
others weave tangerine sun sonatas in the shadows; the ceilings of lore
Some cash in their schillings of war, only feeling the symptoms after
our achilles heel hooks us with wisdom only inherent in jiu-jitsu masters

Last edited by Vulgar; 04-04-2020 at 10:38 PM.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:13 AM   #2
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to be real this is one of my fav pieces from you ever. Good job young jedi...and lol it's interesting to see how your recent readings of OM pieces slightly influenced some word choices here. This topic is ill as fuck and I thought your imagery, wordplay and the vibe you gave the shit was dope. Not as much multi/vocab flexing as you usually put out and I felt it catered to your strengths. You were more focused on the topic here than with the vast majority of other pieces you drop.

Lots of quotables, a quick scan produces:

Do we show compassion or are we just following moral restraints
I’m convinced that Right and Wrong are dead planets, orbiting Faith

The whole intro segment was captivating and well crafted. And the way you ended was just deadly. Good shit nigga.

Yeah I just re-read it (which I almost never do with OMS) and basically the whole thing is flames. Props.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:36 AM   #3
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the opening is ridiculous. as in, i could write a paragraph or two on it's relation to your talent. im drunk right now, ill drop proper feed tomorrow. pinky promises.
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Old 07-13-2013, 04:30 AM   #4
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Really enjoyed the ending and the opening....this felt like it was written after long breaks and in 3 segments...you seemed to tackle many themes under the sun which gave this a ambiguous nature. Though full of worthy thoughts, I sense three directions in this...the opening...and the body between that and what I have quoted. Brilliant snippets and lines truly in this...this was a great effort and a very solid read.

Quote:
ruthfully, are we dunking the ball or just laying it up?
Are we under the sprawl of a decaying, corrupt age of distrust,
scraping the clutches, raping a mother who simply claimed it enough?
Do we show compassion or are we just following moral restraints
I’m convinced that Right and Wrong are dead planets, orbiting Faith
Some pray to God, others prey on others as the “lords” of their race
while being elitist only means one thing: priorities are sorely misplaced
Writer’s Block is a biological weapon set against us apes
for bible scholars, vying authors - selected strains to alter our genetic traits
Science fosters collective drainage of innovation, meant to resonate
flesh is clay, imprisoned in Section 8, nocturnal insects definitely relate
If you’re feeling implored, take a trek with the spiritual Moor
Man walks on two limbs yet it’s his brain he mostly needs agility for
Some rest under sycamores sipping Coors from society’s umbilical cord
others weave tangerine sun sonatas in the shadows; the ceilings of lore
Some cash in their schillings of war, only feeling the symptoms after
our achilles heel hooks us with wisdom only inherent in jiu-jitsu masters
loved this...you are a very humble cat Vulgar only added to your likeability. You have much to teach others

peace.
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Old 07-13-2013, 09:34 AM   #5
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i love when you hit these strides and write like 4 pieces in a week.

Quote:
While many would jump at the chance of impotence...
Some prefer to be human.
i did not understand this line. i felt like omnipotence was the proper word but maybe im just missing a line of your thought process behind this.

i feel envious, well, not so much envy, but inspiration at your apparent ability to see a picture and springboard an entire ***ophony of imaginative scenery and visual stimuli from that snapshot. it's a writing practice we have had much time to hone over the years, what with picture topics in leagues and simply idle time to express.

Quote:
Everyone has plants to water, children to feed
embryos supplant a larger mural to heed
symbiotic relationships foster fertile proceeds
draws such a nice comparison between man and earth. one in the same.

Quote:
I’m convinced that Right and Wrong are dead planets, orbiting Faith
liked this a lot. but as you know i have a particular penchant for these one-liners.. sickness

Quote:
Writer’s Block is a biological weapon set against us apes
for bible scholars, vying authors - selected strains to alter our genetic traits
probably my favorite couplet of the piece. so much can be said about this idea, as far out as it may appear at first - but if we take writer's block as something "real", and supplant it in a way that you suggest, it introduces a very important point. our entire understanding of ourselves hinges on our ability to communicate either through spoken or written word. take one off the table, everything is oral traditions.. which works out well enough for extremely collectivist, close knit cultures, but simply the supposition of writer's block as a weapon intent on destroying our history.. as odd and even silly as it seems on it's own, there's more that can be said about it.


i think you finished out well enough with some dagger like rhythmic exercises.

Quote:
Some rest under sycamores sipping Coors from society’s umbilical cord
ha



i hope to see you continue performing at this artistic level and at this pace, alas i know it's difficult to maintain..

either way, you know what it is


thanks man.
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Old 07-13-2013, 01:54 PM   #6
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NYC, thanks g.

Pan, thanks.. *accepts your pinky*

Coup, you are right about the three directions. I couldn't decide what the "point" was for the verse so I floundered between being conceptual and just general humanity stuff. Thanks for the feedback.

dead man, I hope to keep performing as well - thank you for the thoughts. Good call with "omnipotence" I just changed it. Impotence definitely wasn't the appropriate word.
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Old 07-14-2013, 02:22 AM   #7
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This was amazing. The opening half was bananas from all standpoints. Ive got not much to say except exceptional work
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Old 07-14-2013, 09:27 AM   #8
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@pohfig

When you gonna start gracing my OM with illness? Hoping it happens
Would love to get these OM write nights jumping off. Which come with accomps btw

Sry for the free post @Vulgar
Will def break this down later after I drop my daughter off.
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Old 07-15-2013, 10:20 AM   #9
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this is very impressive, Vulg. Elite level shit. I'll be back for a more thorough feed.
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Old 07-15-2013, 09:21 PM   #10
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Phewwwwwww. Goddamn vulgar. You destroyed the visuals in this piece verry vivid words.

Weell done man. This was nuts all the way through. Fuck
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Old 07-15-2013, 11:19 PM   #11
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I've read better, but I guess people took a liking to this one.
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Old 07-17-2013, 09:14 PM   #12
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Thanks yaw.
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Old 07-17-2013, 10:25 PM   #13
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Sometimes even the sun catches the horizon off guard
Illuminating the land - all the mountains, pines & bazaars
the sun catches the horizon off guard, wow.. so even nature is half sleep when the sun comes

The warmth of the ground is a meditative magma, in essence, fate
each tectonic shift leaves a messy plate; appetite makes us levitate
WOW... that's wordplay, tectonic plates.. appetite makes us levitate I take that to mean we hungry for the quest of knowledge of what's in the air.. why we build planes and rockets

he stands in a burgundy tunic, earthly attunement is a purity movement
describing the garb of the man in the pic the multis are sick


The vocab in this piece is great, this flows well, its a nice topic. I think its tough because you may have tried to get overly creative and overly write towards the middle and end instead of letting it just be natural. The opening set such a standard for the rest of the verse that if you aren't as pinpoint accurate following through one starts to notice. Good piece though
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Old 08-26-2013, 01:03 AM   #14
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@Genocide, @PancakeBrah or @Meth, this needs to be moved, right?

Anyway, I wanted to go back and read this verse. It's excellent, a bit stripped down compared to your normal writing, but in a good way.
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Old 09-30-2013, 05:06 AM   #15
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I’m convinced that Right and Wrong are dead planets, orbiting Faith

I'm convinced I shouldn't let your aptitude stop me from writing.
I'll just keep repeating that to myself, when I cry myself to sleep.. wishing I could write as dope as vulgar.
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Old 07-22-2014, 02:45 AM   #16
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This was very well done. My favorite lines are:
I’m unsteady, the bloodletting is tongue stretching
The warmth of the ground is a meditative magma, in essence, fate
Are we truly men who are on the verge of being usurped of our nutrients?
because while new sequences emerge from the petri dish of our lineage
The growth of our history rarely deviates from traditional compendiums
Writer’s Block is a biological weapon set against us apes
for bible scholars, vying authors - selected strains to alter our genetic traits
Some rest under sycamores sipping Coors from society’s umbilical cord
others weave tangerine sun sonatas in the shadows; the ceilings of lore
Some cash in their schillings of war, only feeling the symptoms after
our achilles heel hooks us with wisdom only inherent in jiu-jitsu masters.

This lines have excellent schemes, and the content is riveting. The images conveyed through the whole piece are quite heart pumping, a truly electrifying read.
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Old 02-17-2020, 07:21 PM   #17
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Holy fuck!!! How did I miss this when in my eyes I consider Vulgar a God, so disappointed @ myself ;(

This @Vulgar is absolutely brilliant my friend.
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