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Old 02-14-2020, 07:48 AM   #1
Saint
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Default Week 5 Mag: Site-Wide Hype ft Flow & Lars

WEEK 5 1-2 MAG: SITE-WIDE HYPE

With Flow and Lars


What up dudes, excuse the delay but as always I’m here delivering the 1-2 weekly mag. Things are finally picking up w/ our first official contenders & champion matches declaring the first champion. Shoutouts to @Inno for being the underdog and ending up as the first champ, beating Flow. You will get the Accomp no doubt. Just remind yourself lol. In other news if no one checked Lars' SITEWIDE MAG do yourself a favor & peep the power rankings if anything. Whole thing was ridiculously in-depth and worth a read, tbh.

Let's get to it...

1-2 ROAST: RESULTS & WINNER
Review: Props to all the competitors. You guys are what makes the league what it is w/ activity by dropping quality verses & voting. There were two drops that made it close & though I don't have the breakdown rn, it was between dullboy and Lars. Overall db had more humorous hits and cooled off towards the end. Lars dropped well w/ some clever lines but this time dullboy was the winner! Congrats!

Quote:
Originally Posted by dull boy View Post
When did Uncle Sam and The Cat in the Hat fuck?
This dude fell outta Apollo Creed’s trunks like, ‘ABRACADABRA!’
White trash with that Axe funk on some back from Iraq stuff.
Dishonorably discharged ‘cause, “Faggots and blacks suck.”
Jeb Kaczynski. Mailing out bomb threats. Failed as a hobbit.
Are you having a yard sale or’d your trailer just vomit?
Boom Baptist Christ and methylene. Natty Light on everything.
Wrist ware and your old lady’s plastic spider wedding ring.
Winner: @dullboy. Gets an Accomp.

Previews




WEEK 5 PREVIEWS: BROUGHT TO YOU BY FLOW

Barcotic Vs Pen Prick
No idea who pen prick is and too hungover to check. Presumably some faggot alias. Anyway barcotic should take this if he sticks with something simple.

Cashius vs Blue Bayou
BOTW no doubt, both heavy weight vets. Cashius seemed a bit rusty from what I seen but he always comes strong regardless an I do enjoy his style and how he won't skirt away from an angle just because it's racist as fuck. However Blue has champ in his eye sights and is always consistent. Will be down to voters preferences which I think is up in the air for most of us at the moment due to an influx in new or long returning absentees. For me I see Blue taking this in a close affair, his wordplay heavy style being more likely to be favoured over Cash's more cut throat concepts and tight wording.

Sinacog vs Vapeo
Obviously Sinacog takes this in a white wash. The cog is a God. No fr tho, battles up! GO VOTE

Innovator Vs FGR
Don't know who's writing his bars but inno on fire, I would say if I had not changed my bar last second I probably would have taken it based on his very aged concept of red coat however his wording is bang on and it was the best red coat bar I've seen. He has the wording now, but needs to make sure the concepts are fresher. Long as he does his due diligence on his concepts to check they arnt played could see inno taking this comfortably. FGR is actually a very enjoyable read, he is miracle I believe on another site. However his place in the champ match imo is suspect given I beat him an he got a contenders off that back of that loss, so personally think this works against him and the current champ "should" take this in a tight affair.

Kill Spree vs Flow (by inf)
Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again. This should be a good one tbh. Both got concepts. Flow will be hungry to redeem himself as will Spree. KS needs to show though, he will & I think it will be close. I'm not sure of the history here between the two but for the simple fact Kill ducked last week, I'ma go w/ the Flowster. But tbh it's anyone's game rly.

Habitat Vs Slecht
Already up go vote folks. I don't want to say nothing as it will sway as I've read the bars and know where I'll be voting.

Ryno VS Ouch
Faced. Ryno in the winter classic I think. He's pretty good could see him doing well if he stays signed in. Ouch is, despite being a fucking idiot who wants to tell every Tom dick and Sally the people who will vouch for him (albeit not one of those names has confirmed this) he is actually pretty good. I like alot of what he's wrote bar his Kobe bar. I do think however ryno will take this and ouch will flip when blue votes against him. Which will be fun.

Adverse Vs Chemist
Chemist is an alias but don't remember who. An again, too hungover to bother looking. I know he doesn't post much, just here to battle, doesn't vote. Adverse is keen, I see him taking this tbf if he comes more harsh and direct with his punch.

Incredible Vs INF
Is incredible even here still, not seen him post for ages. Anyway INF will take this easily with superior wording. He reworded one of my bars other day and I'm still pissed at how much better he made it.

Plot vs Obey
Plot was substandard when he first joined, think he needed with me an we battled twice. I won both but he was alot better second time round. seems to still be improving after a stick first few weeks. Pretty sure obey was the one dropping some cool shit in the cypher based off what I saw. Tbh tight match but think plot might edge it.

Machete Jo Vs Victor
Machete Jo should lose this if Victor shows based of what I saw him post last week. Don't have much more to say on this battle other then that. Although Vic could be caught sleeping & Machete could surprise. But Vics a spic so he can handle machetes.

THROWBACK BATTLE:

Here's a PPV Match between Blue Bayou and Dominate from the last NBL season.

@Dominate
^ Alliteratin ur name… who the fuck u tryna impress guy?
Should be concerned w/ alliteratin ur verses, i.e. throwaway garbage in 9 outta 10 lines
Pho ain’t pronounced that way OR a herb, u been going from garbage to worse
Shoulda gave up on that culinary bar & tried cullin erry bar in your verse
Res KILLED you in that. Those tortured wordplays were holdin u back lame
Way an Asian steppe all over you had me thinking Mongolian landscapes
I got a black whatsit that’s iron, chrome thingys that are nickel & steel
& Blue doohickeys too… on his boyfriend’s neck while he giggles & squeals
Listen. You DON’T wanna test me. Lead’ll chew through any dude who gets gassed
& your number’s UP if the 9 gets a round off … so … you do the math
The chopper’s on me. Have you talkin real peaceful when THAT’s raised
Trust me you don’t want this catering… what’ll happen next is in baaad taste
I’ll put the piece between ur eyes…. goin crazy with the can
Point blank - the muzzles touch’n the middle of a noodle… that’s Lady & the Tramp
& soon as it start, it’s hopeless. I aim for the eyes – that mark’s a bonus
Pops Ridalin ya body w/ bullets… you gonna find it real hard to Focus

@Blue Bayou
are you sure you’re actually a teacher?! i mean…
.
.

sure you got by Aero, but now i’m here to cause a scene
so much evidence u ‘Took the Bar to get Acclaim’ i swear u got a Law Degree
wtf at those votes, robbery! & i could care less if you hate me
if i put you ‘next to ‘Aer'n Judge, u dont Measure Up’.. ur the rest of the Yankees
real talk he carries YOU, every tag battle = an unsightly scene
Errol get the Win as your punches fail to connect.. change ya name to Mickey G.
for years Dom has said my work is A+ & all he’s ever called me is fly
it’s funny, i’d give em a Deify had to rate em & i’m basically a God to the guy
Dom the emotional faggit! an Aussie that falls harddd & throws wifey eyes
the type to take ‘Getting Tail to Heart’ just to leave w/ it Broken like the Crikey Guy
stay in hiding or i’m shootin’ at ya eyes while i grip the rubber
i'll ‘PopSockets & be Attached to a Case’ boooyyy you better Stick to Cover
bro, ur from the Sunshine Coast! i wont even put the pump to you fam
put a blade in ur ribs & 'Break it Off, Inside U' like one of ur students dumping her man
he's mad in fear. Dom went from being savage to the average tier
so it'll be funny iffy drops, knowing those are the only kind that he’s had in years

Winner: DOM

Last Weeks Battles -




No Show Shine
It happens. Props to FGR, Obey and Ouch(lol) for dropping early but getting no-showed.

WEEK 4 BATTLE REVIEWS:

Flow vs Innovator
The first champ match went down & it was decent tbh. I think Flow made some last minute revisions that he later changed his mind on. It only cost him the battle. Lolll...Anyway most voters fucked w/ Innos Red Coat bar. It was solid & while a play done before on Brits - was worded well enough in this instance over Flows quote attempt. Flow did a personal which I felt could've hit w/ a different flip on it. SNAP was a good idea...SO Inno became the first 1-2 champion. Props!
Winner: Inno

FGR vs Destroyer
Destroyer no showed. Pussy geezer. FGRs no show shined mention.
Winner: FGR

Pinot Grij vs Ouch
Pinot no showed. So I'm going to spend this review giving Ouch a bit of advice critiquing his bar. Ouch dropped a Kobe/chopper current event & thought it was witty. Ouch if you read this...I'm keeping it a hundo man; the chopper connection has been done on this site for years (as well as live battles). Besides that, the current event alone was obvious & your take wasn't creative enough to carry it either. You can search back years for chopper bars & find many if you don't want to believe me or anyone else. Even w/ that, their difference is they'd have a tie in or flip that sells it better. One I remember clearly was MFtastiks "outside swinging a chopper like the incredible Hulk" line in 2016. In 2020 even w/ a tie in the territory has already been explored & settled. So no more talk bout how you thought it was witty, it was ok.
Winner: Ouch

Habitat vs Cashius
BOTW by popular opinion. I'd agree tbh. It went down as I predicted w/ Cash winning w/ a personal quote, lol. Habitat had a good bar too w/ a strapped for cash play that I've seen done but some felt the wording & execution of it therefore that got him some votes. In the end Cash sealed it w/ humor & being more fresh.
Winner: Cashius:

Chemist vs INF
Chemist won w/ a current event "broomstick challenge" while they weren't feeling a ramen noodle flip inspired by a live URL battle I was watching. Last time I do that, smh. Chem won.
Winner: Chemist

Plot vs slecht
Slecht posted early & it cost him. People werent feeling the weezy bar even w/ the plays in it. I thought it had wit but maybe not a hard hitting punch which I've noticed has been the kind of lines voters gravitate to. Plot had a morning star attack line which hit here more convincingly. I thought it was cool & there was a clear winner.
Winner: Plot

Obey vs Kill Spree
Obey used a Kilawin nameplay which I've never seen before. Well done. Kill Spree pussied out like a hoe...so no show shine.
Winner: Obey

Adverse vs bleak
bleak almost no showed but got a bar in after the due date. Props but Adverse put in more effort here w/ a funny play on I got shine.
Winner: Adverse

Incredible vs Sinacog
[I]This battle was...a little unusual here. Mainly bc Sin actually had a decent connection w/ green & incredible hulk. I mean it's good for him...Lol. Incredible let wording get the best of him again and made it closer than it should have been imo. Overall Incred had the depth of a good concept which in text is enough to get over a simple punch or bad wording... sometimes.
Winner: Incredible

Blue Bayou vs Machete Jo
BB won w/ a Kobe play that was mocking Ouch" while Machete Jo had a FAGGOT PROPOSAL bar which was jokes, Blue, Bi? You? People chose BB bc his bar was better put together & the Blue nameplay has just been done in the past, even w/ the tie-ins.
Winner: Blue

/end

Interview Corner




The coffee shop basement w/ Flow

This week I sat down and interviewed Baron Mynd AKA Lars AKA Sral AKA Diablo AKA Flow AKA The Great Jizzaso AKA Self Proclaimed King of the Trolls AKA Trollzilla

Baron, the man, the legend...I have had the pleasure of drinking with you, but not everyone knows your story, especially the new folks who have cropped up recently. So talk us through your text career thus far?

I came, I saw, I conquered.

Veni Vedi Vici I believe

Nah, the story is a lengthy one, so I’ll try to keep it somewhat brief. I started at RapBattle.com, before it had the S added, this was a very long time ago when RB was considered a lot better than it has been thought of for the past decade (or more?). I won my first text battle there, then first text battle league (the Lethal Lyricists League as it was then) and I never really wrote anything other than text battles at that time. I eventually tried my hand at topicals (in their Sacred Scriptures league) and champed that too. I had numerous Open Mic pieces archived in their Legends forum, it was home to me. I knew everyone and they knew me. Of course, you start getting people saying you only win because you’re dickrode or because of your name, or because it’s a battle on your homesite so there’s bias etc. There’s a million different reasons and excuses as to why they can’t beat you. Anyway, one that stuck with me was a guy that told me I was good - very good - but I would never be respected if I didn’t prove it outside of my homesite. As it happened, he was a moderator of a topical league at FiendWorld.com. Lol. He was probably just trying to poach members looking back at it now, but at the time he seemed convincing. I kind of almost didn’t want to be disloyal to RB, but I signed up there as a stupid throwaway name “Bob Afett”. I champed their league before the site eventually went down but I stayed in touch with the guy on AIM messenger. It was Desenuts. He eventually went on to mod the RSTL at RapMusic.com, the largest league I had ever seen (and probably will ever see). It was crazily stacked. Maybe 100+ members signed in at a time. It had huge names involved, so of course, I wanted to prove I could hang with the best there were. I signed up. I’ve kind of always kept that in the back of my mind and wanted to prove I’m the best wherever. I wanted to champ everywhere. I wanted to prove I was capable of beating anyone, I didn’t want it to be because of my “name” that people were voting for or because it was my homesite, so I’ve gone to 50+ boards with different throwaway names and won at them all.

Quite a resumé. You are very confident in your skills.. I know from experience that you, like blue, seem to be able to fire bars out with ease. Not to mention you have been around for a very long time.. So with that in mind.. Who would you say are the top 3 battlers you have seen over the years? Is there anyone you haven't faced you'd have liked too?

Do you mean strictly text or not?
Ill Chris from The GRB’s at RM was very good with punchlines. Warbux too. If you’re talking strictly text, personally I would go for someone like Adonis/Ajax of UPN or Rudge1.
The people I haven’t faced and would like to would all be topical heads, to be honest, Richard Corey would be one for the ages for sure. Tali Rodriguez was very good, I would definitely give him a match, RIKOSHAY I think would be worthwhile me facing. It would be a slobberknocker. I think only RC of those three has surfaced at all in the past 5 years or so though, so the chances are slim, but a battle vs RC would be one I’d take very seriously..

Yeah, I am sure you will have detailed topicalists before hand. So, what's your thoughts on Ouch?


Ouch has known me as PJK since b-boys.com :) He is actually good at text, very good, or was at least. I fucked with his style heavy. I have a very good memory and remember he had a line that went “flip 20 in your mug like we playing quarters and shit” that is just crazy in its simplicity. This was years before the current gun bar popularity also so it always stuck with me. That said, a long passage of time has gone by since that era, I’ve no idea if he still has it or not. His recent Kobe bar felt stale and wasn’t worded harshly at all, so if were judging solely by that then he may have fallen off hard... we will see I guess. His Disc board personality hasn’t done him any favours, nor has his seemingly completely lack of self awareness but I think if he actually shut the fuck up and barred out - we will see a different Ouch. I don’t know if it’s possible in his current state/mindset/alcoholic stupor but I want to see it. I hope we do. He wouldn’t surprise me, but he may a lot of people. Much respect to my fellow B-Boy.

Interesting take on Ouch, you recently had a "breakdown" in rapport with some of your fellow netcees, apparantly dischord didnt appreciate your artistic talents?.

They didn’t? I hadn’t noticed. Lol.
They know what they’re getting with me. Or should do at least. I’ve been around a long time, I’m not one of the get along gang, and I am unashamedly me. Horror enthusiast. Disc board troll. Topicalist. I’ll take all of those inclinations and more, but I’m not here to be on first name terms with a bunch of screen names I’ll never meet. If you poke the bear, don’t be at all surprised when it bites your head off and shits down your throat. I’ll burn it to DVD and add it to my collection.
The Great Jizzasso takes his art very seriously. Most geniuses aren’t fully appreciated until after they’re gone, sadly.

This is true, some people might think in RL your less of a troll, however me and MMLP can vouch you keep that artistry (trolling not cumming) running in RL. What's the greatest troll you have pulled off on netcees?.

I probably forget more than I remember, to be truthful. The best ones are the subtle ones that go under the radar. The pretence that Eddie is Robranda must surely be one? People to this day don’t know that Robranda is a multi-user account shared among the NC inner circle. A lot of the great ones have been combined efforts with other members, the board is only ever as strong as we make it. I think letting you all in on what was a troll and what was legit may take some of the fun away from them for me. A bit like The Masked Magician revealing how the tricks are done. I was never really a fan of that, I’d rather keep the intrigue and mystery alive. It’s probably not the answer you wanted, but it’s the one I’m giving.

Hahaha. It's a good answer. Finally, are you going to champ the 1-2? Just to prove you can, I know you write fast so maybe the newly formed LR?.

The 1-2 League isn’t really my thing, I like to write and I do it quickly. It isn’t difficult to think of one punchline a week. I don’t really take part in the battle side of things much, it gets formulaic to me very quickly, but I did enjoy writing something quick for the picture roast cypher last week and I hand on heart have better bars than some I read (you included). If I sign in, I will champ. I’m sure of it. I’ve beat Flow. I’ve beat Inno. I’ve beat Inf. Beat Blue Bayou twice. I’ve beat Des. I wrote Flows bangers when he beat Barc. Beat Incredible. Beat Sharp. Beat Plot. Beat Sinacog. Is there anyone I’m forgetting? Probably. But they’re all beatable to me and I’ve proved it. I’m the first and only ever Trifecta Champ this board has known for good reason. It’s a cakewalk. I won’t even have you put me in the champ match my first week either to prove it.

I thought we were the same person? The greatest troll. Kayzer Soze. Anyway thanks for the interview. I'll presume you'll be signing in to put your money where your mouth is.

Final Thoughts


Things are picking up fast. With vets like Victor, Blue & Barcotic joining along w/ some interesting aliases in Machete Jo and Pen Prick sure to turn some heads. Hopefully more join, drop & vote. Lightning Rounds have already kicked off. So vote if you haven't as we'll try to move them fast... Til next time...

@Sharp @Habitat @Cashius @FGR @Adverse
@Destroyer @Flow @Inno @Plot @Obey @Kill Spree
@Blue Bayou @Ouch @Barcotic @Slechtq @Incredible
@Ryno @John Dillinger @Void @Victor @Pen Prick @Resin M-I-C
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:03 AM   #2
Blue Bayou
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Awesome mag boys ... Good shit .. congrats to dull boy that 12 was jokes

Lol Lars... Plz link these two 1-2 battles or whatever you beat me in ... Prob did I just don't remember and am curious to re-read
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:15 AM   #3
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Will read this all later appreciate the work y’all. That classic battle was flames to
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:26 AM   #4
Flow
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Nice work
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Flow....that punch was disgusting. Mvgt Flow
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:18 AM   #5
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Another quality mag boys. Thanks to all involved
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:28 AM   #6
Destroyer
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When did you beat des you limey fuck?
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:33 AM   #7
Destroyer
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If you post that goddamn poem battle...
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:34 AM   #8
Blue Bayou
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^^^^lmaoooo
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:45 AM   #9
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Quote:
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When did you beat des you limey fuck?
NBL tbh
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:55 AM   #10
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Lol. No
Post it
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Old 02-14-2020, 10:26 AM   #11
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Old 02-14-2020, 10:30 AM   #12
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Damn y'all beat me to the punch this week lol was going to interview again but it's cool I'll get it in next week, dope mag fellas nice work
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Old 02-14-2020, 11:13 AM   #13
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Why not throw in throwback 1-2 bars instead of verses. Thought this was the 1-2 league?

Just a suggestion.
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Old 02-14-2020, 11:59 AM   #14
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Why not throw in throwback 1-2 bars instead of verses. Thought this was the 1-2 league?

Just a suggestion.
Second this
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Old 02-14-2020, 05:39 PM   #15
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the handle machetes reference though lol

dope work

this is what keeps the community alive
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:07 PM   #16
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lmfaooo
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:42 PM   #17
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How do I get in on the lightning rounds? Sign ups closed
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:14 PM   #18
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How do I get in on the lightning rounds? Sign ups closed
Next one. We ran them.more like fight nights instead of a weekly league this time.
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Old 02-17-2020, 12:55 AM   #19
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freshhh
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Old 02-17-2020, 09:20 AM   #20
Sharp
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Dope read guys

Would like to point out that Lars beat me in a self-diss battle that I wouldn't let end in a tie

His verse was still a banger though
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