Whatever

[Soule]

Battling myself is exhausting, these inner demons are haunting,
it's difficult and jaunting when your subconscious is constantly taunting.
Tired, fatigued, physically unable; pretending you're okay, in reality you're unstable,
it's not like the patients you see on cable, you're literally sick, mentally it's fatal.
eyes so heavy it burns to keep em open, brain always goin til you're completely broken,
everyday is like wrestling waves in the ocean, either frustrated or unable to display emotion.
they tell you to smile but you forgot how, it's impossible not to frown from under ground,
"What do you have to be sad about?" Is like loading a gun and putting it in one's mouth!
I sleep all day and sleep all night because it drains me just to open these eyes,
they say there's a light at the end of every tunnel, but at this point, I wish I was blind.
It pains me to feel this way but everyday feels like I've been carved from the inside,
and there's no way for me to escape when my brain is the reason I'll never be alright.
Every pill that I've been given has some side effect and makes me feel even worse,
how can you attempt science with a curse and expect the results to bring a cure?
I know I've never been pure, maybe it's karma and if that's the case, okay, sure...
but I'd give my life for ONE day where I don't feel like living is simply to endure.
If you think I'm reaching for attention then ignore this, that kinda mentality is morbid,
when my clock stops ticking you'll notice, until then, time is money and I can't afford it.