05-29-2018, 09:48 PM | #1 | |
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...so I recorded this, but I'll just drop the lyrics for now.
Eve “bit” the apple that made us all sin Then Steve invents an Apple that gave us all “gigs” If the Devil is an asshole then IBM The Verizon is an eyeful of light that’s dim I don’t write with pens I just type then send A G-Male to females that might just live A short Waze away from where my IP is I can Skype with friends or FaceTime ya bitch (A nice way to say make her taste my dick) Then I Sprint to the bank to keep my Bitcoins safe Or Pay-Pal quick for an Instagram of yay My Twitter finger's Twitch'n as I’m AIM’n @ ya brains Tidal waves full of blood if these AKs spray Samsung the Blues - “A Change Gone Come” Now I YouTube the youth .. rainbow punks Donald Trump tried to fund a firewall of hate For a nation full of chumps who ain’t never been “great” He Sony’s ta pump .. his muthafukin breaks 'Fore he gets us all crushed by sum Uber sized tanks!
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Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 05-29-2018 at 11:55 PM. |
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05-29-2018, 11:51 PM | #2 |
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I really enjoy the consistency and wordplay associated with the topic. It's an interesting take on the subject matter, and I'm rather excited to hear the audio. As for the lyrics that could use work, your biggest problem is stretching the wordplay.
If the Devil is an asshole than IBM The Verizon is an eyeful of light that’s dim Not sure if you mean that or then in the first line, considering both could work in different contexts. You could mean the Devil is a bigger asshole than IBM or mean if the devil is an asshole > IBM is something. Also, the ending of that second nod needs a little tweaking for rhythm's sake. Then I Sprint to the bank to keep my Bitcoins safe This line is a stretch, considering cryptocurrency is an unregulated, non-recognized form of currency. You would not be going to the bank to keep your bitcoins safe, unless you're investing them through the bank. If this is the case, then that reference will likely be overlooked. My Twitter finger's Twitch'n as I’m AIM’n @ ya brains Tidal waves full of blood if these AKs spray He Sony’s ta pump .. his muthafukin breaks That Sony wordplay is a strettttttttttttch. Overall, I loved this. I found it entertaining as hell and pertinent. There isn't much to really fix here.
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05-30-2018, 12:07 AM | #3 | |||||
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05-30-2018, 12:08 AM | #4 | |
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Double post. Delete.
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Last edited by ACTIVATE SELF; 05-30-2018 at 12:13 AM. |
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06-04-2018, 02:18 AM | #5 |
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Did you really record this? if so then I have failed you as a friend.
this has some dated stuff & references anyone could get &... ... .... Samsung the Blues - “A Change Gone Come” Now I YouTube the youth .. rainbow punks Donald Trump tried to fund a firewall of hate For a nation full of chumps who ain’t never been “great” He Sony’s ta pump .. his muthafukin breaks 'Fore he gets us all crushed by sum Uber sized tanks! really..? alright its smooth but come on...come on man you cant be serious, try a different concept man. something that would seem more out of left field you got that flow down decent but get complex...if you recording it I mean
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