Merry go round

[UnbornBuddha]

Mom tried to raise me to a man, I turned into my father instead.
Narcistically larger in the head than heaven's shadow in my flesh.
And yet, I swore to be a Bodhisattva and channel all the dread.
What's the matter with my head? I don't know, so I take one big transient breath...
Maybe its because I try to play therapist when I was raised heretic
Made to believe in nirvana so I can be force-fed sedatives; others' ideas as medicine.
I laugh having gone mad from the manic pestilence.
Now there is blood in my hands from my heritage.
Shutting my eyes, singing a Lunar lullaby to sleep at night
Falling into dream paralysis to search for a beacon of light.
Asking for a sign, and the crescent moon becomes my Eden in the sky.
All I have left is my illusion of grandeur, a perpetual feeling of being high.
God complex divine, Quetzalcoatl's blood screams through my being inside.
Lightning Serpent designed to strike the vermin who insist on us burning.
I was taught a virtuous person outshines the glitter & glitz,
I believed it until my first diamond purchase.
Cashmere sweater with a Rolex on the wrist. Looking so iced out, this is when fire becomes myth.
But I do insist you follow the righteous path, but for me, that path just doesn't exist.
Toxic self-absorption, I'm the ego of Eve in Genesis. For I dream of sentience.
I want to feel, I want to touch, I want to chill, I want to rub, I want to kneel and make love before God.
I want it to be real because I want the thrill, of not giving a fuck. I'm ever aware my words become more twisted and corrupt.
Words are powerful beings that awaken desires in our heart.
Never sleeping because I use this burning fire to do art.
Creating something that I can look back to and say goodbye from afar.
Au revoir, the merry go round begins, in a perpetual circle we depart.

[Objective]

Thought this was pretty cool and honest, the opener definitely caught my attention on a good note. Some stretched lines here and there that I didn't really enjoy as they could have been shortened down and still say the same thing without losing anything, when I say this I'm not thinking about lines this:
Cashmere sweater with a Rolex on the wrist. Looking so iced out, this is when fire becomes myth.
(cus this shit was dope and flowed well to me but it also said something interesting throughout.) I'm thinking about lines like this:
I want it to be real because I want the thrill, of not giving a fuck. I'm ever aware my words become more twisted and corrupt.
The reason being that it feels a bit too repetitive with the "I want" which the previous line covered, one "want" would be more than enough to transition over without it being too much and making the line seem even longer than it already is, the wording just feels choppy and longwinded compared to the Rolex-line I quoted earlier. Idk, I see what you were going for but it still felt a bit too repetitive for me.

Maybe its because I try to play therapist when I was raised heretic
Made to believe in nirvana so I can be force-fed sedatives; others' ideas as medicine.
^This was crazy dope, loving the "others' ideas as medicine" as a finisher to what you were saying, good shit. Great transition to the next subject and style on the following line.

Overall a solid drop with some serious dark knowledge sprinkled throughout, good shit.

[Mr. J]

That introduction was cold as ice my dude, happy to see you still writing
I have always enjoyed reading your work, this was smoothly written
that lunar lullaby section was one of my favorite things to see weaved together
I would be robbing the piece if I tried pulling any other quotes out of it
pretty amazing piece though, deserves more love