Paragraph Precedence: Darth Yoda, Split Eight, Certain, Lars, Copy

[CopyPat]

Originally Posted by PancakeBrah

i want to do something lighthearted. with lots of rhymes and stuff.

Copy:
Did somebody say…
Lighthearted with lots of rhymes and stuff? My mics started, its cocky time, whatsup? I write varnish with glossy lines and brush you mild artists with monotonous styles that suck. I’m like farmers, my chop is prime when I cut, my mic harvests in bulk supply what you love. I’m multi rhymin this up, I’m Dull combined with some Bwah, and Vulgar lines for you Brahs, emulsified when I bust. I ultraviolet you fucks like hotel exposés. This son is blinding you chumps.. oh well, get some rays. Coattail texters stay riding my thick cape. My flow stay Texas, way I fry you in this state. The brightest to spit waves, the title is sick. Spray tidals amidst lame writers who drip H..Two Oh, you know that my style is a big lake. Submerging so deep like I’m diving with fish eggs. I’m kindof a dick eh? My flow is the soggiest. I rhyme in a big way, the whole enchilada shit. Your flowin is on the fritz.. leaky faucet style. I’m blowin the nozzle tips, leave you sopping style. Reading Copy’s files like swimming in flood plains. Leave ya body dyed from the drizzling blood stains.

Lars:
Freedom costs a price, I'll give you my months pay, to leave me off the right of the wilderness. Drunkscape. I'll even offer twice what you were wishing for, cuntface. Fishing for someplace instead of compliments in this digital upgrade we're heading nonetheless. I convalesce with Cherry's Darlings in rotten bedroom-esque apartments. I've lost my head and Penny Farthing but what the heck? Lets get it started. I’m Boba Fett, the deadly marksman atop the deck ya fledgling starship offing heads and pressing targets. I’ve got the stench of every carcass and rotten eggs filling my nose. I’m plotting deaths, thinking of home & what I left. Glimmer of hope dithering slowly. Living alone isn’t as rosy as my palms are. I’m nosy as an aardvark. Blow me, I’m a lard arse who stays loaded up with Mars bars, blowing dust with rass clarts and known for hustling card sharks.

Certain:
I'm too compulsive to miss an apostrophe. Get off of me. I've got a dismissive discography, giving bitches shit for their witless phrenology: medulla oblongata weak. Preach, brother. I see Yoda in the street hovering with speech bubbles like Batman. Adam West. Bang zoom. I've got unique tumbleweed deep puzzles to keep smothering weak-muscled emcees under me. Shatter chests. Bang zoom. King-sized master bed swag, too. Let me plaster that crag-tooth bitch with a right hook. After, I'll cuddle up with a nice book. Black president. Whites shook. Track residents with spy crooks. Wax endless yet my ears are clean. Weird with schemes, medium rare but completely raw. I'm decent y'all. Speeding off with prosthesis clogs. I'm nothing less than a ouija God trapped in a genie jar.

Split Eight:
I don't know what I'm facing, but I'll still go super-saiyan. Do a mean Vegeta, lethal and brainless when I steep in deep focus and apex. Trade up my homies, steam cook their faces, lemon-law with citrus arrangement, capers and codeine. That shimmery shine is simply the greed in my iris. I'm an aikido goliath, chain locks, spit keys and arm-bars. I don't bow at the knee for encore pleas, I crowdsource, pressure-point deep in thugs who freely bound forth, like stretching knees for olympic parkour. Fifteen thou logarithmic foot-pounds of torque. Slipstream, carve curves, in tidal-locked waves of jugular blood spurts. Final fantasy, I fucks with the sunburst.

Darth Yoda:
Want to know the reason I'm speaking so oddly and write? I'll let you in ona secret. (he's) Uniquely ungodly at times. You're a leaflet. Precariously perched on this tree. To me you're a branch or a vine. Styles golden. Money doesn't grow in the wrong tree you're barking up, riep. Most critics critiquing call me a genius, compared to Einstein cause' Neitzsche is harder to type. Technique is an embodiment thesis, get sparks to ignite. Cryogenic telekinesis. Embodying Jesus, reading Psalms 2-through-5. Your highly facetious style in speak, is beneath in kilometers, I'm. A philosopher. A novelist poet, wound in conduit, unbeknownst. No theologian known to man could understand why I ordered sculptors to sculpt by hand my monolith with me hunched over as if I were blowing gas. I'm just morbid. I like to call myself an existenchalist. With just extra credentials and better rhythm and a blatant disrekierkegaard to existentialism. You probably looked that up cause that's not how you spell regard. Hellish. Afar from most wouldve fell and departed their souls from the body them held them and helped them support, during birth, from the womb I ordered a c-section of course, so the doctors and nurses would presume they could start the remorse, and use every curse word rehearsed, cause they delivered this embellishing serpent to Earth. You don't spank me, I spank you, using my umbilical cord. I'm a ungod. Use a scrub nurse as hostage. Mom passes out from the blood-loss. Fuck a mental, this is a metaphysical ward. Burn about 1/3rd of the hospice. Cynical warlord. Using bibs to cover the corpse. Murder the Gerber baby. & when they stitched her up everyone in the room would remember the scars.

[Wise Wiggles]

I'm going to read this and give it really thorough in the burrow breakdowns..


After I do some other stuff right quick first. Word.

[Geno]

I have skimmed through this numerous times, its very dope on all accounts. Everyone has gems and areas I would like to qoute and speak more on.. this will come tomoro sometime, upping ffor now.

Hopefully others will stop sleeping as well.

[Eŋg]

kind of a dick eh (if you insist, hey)/boba fett (&& the bit after)/speech bubbles, bang zoom (lol)/sunburst (nerd) & some other stuff/ nietzsche & kierkegaard (known by another name) ... all good.

i don't like this style. i'll try it. i sometimes feel trying is the problem. mine. yours/everyone's. but i don't have a monkey-slave to do shit for me, that said, don't think it would improve my penmanship. it would inevitably shift to Dawkins or Darwinism or something. who needs that? fuck that noise. i like this style.

edit -- apparently i was supposed to read this again so i'm a dick.

[Darth Yoda]

I spelled 'ripe' wrong when I said riep.

Copy always has a certain flow to his pieces which is unique and adds to the novelty of a piece from Copypat. Though I've read in recent criticism to deadmans pieces he ousts for being 'emo'. I think that's exactly what Copy needs at moments. This piece was pretty dope, though. Of course it was lighthearted. With lots of rhymes and stuff. Which is exactly what was conveyed. At every level it peaked, and sort of gave a vibrant presence to go along with it. Just a lot of long syllablic style going into a paragraph. Very cool. I loved the name dropping.

I’m multi rhymin this up, I’m Dull combined with some Bwah, and Vulgar lines for you Brahs, emulsified when I bust. I ultraviolet you fucks like hotel exposés. Just gorgeously flowed.

Lars piece was very flowy indeed. It's hard to reciprocate. Well, it's hard to give a unique and different perception of a completely different verse from a completely different author. Lars had a more structured verse, nothing really stood out more than any other thing, it just stood out as a whole. Similar to Copy's. The piece was lighthearted, easy to read, and most of all, it just had a scatter-brained linear sentiment that sparked. I liked this verse. Using words like drunkscape is just awesome. Compounding of abnormal webbing is absolutely delight of mine. Keep it up. I loved the middle piece with rotten carcass. I was saying something (but with much more candor) in my head earlier. Great.

Certain was very cool. I saw this version already, but wish the consecutive "I'ms" were added. I think Copy omitted that, though I don't know why. It was cool. Like the other verses, nothing really stands out, This has a different style than the previous two. And perhaps the most off linear one, I loved the transitional shift between internal premise. Such a lovely outcasting of post modern arrogance, bundled up in a bundle of joy, that we know as Certain. The last part was absolutely delightful, at first when I read it, I brushed it off, but once you get into the scheme of things you learn to appreciate subtle little minuscule readings, riddled with couplets of assonance. Stellar.


Split eight, was all over the place, but very contained. I loved his verse, probably the most, he name dropped and was just all over the place while being conditional. Very cool.

Trade up my homies, steam cook their faces, lemon-law with citrus arrangement, capers and codeine. That shimmery shine is simply the greed in my iris. I'm an aikido goliath, chain locks, spit keys and arm-bars.

It's just so, simple. That it's cool. Aikido Goliath got me.


Darth sucks. Why'd he even collab.

Anyway, honestly a lack of criticism. With such a wide range topic, it leaves very little to critique since it's just a fun, quick, easy flex that literally describes how you're feeling in the moment you wrote it.

[NYCSPITZ]

i wanna fuc,k the girl in wise ways sig

[Certain]

CopyPat, your verse was your verse, which is to say, only CopyPat could have written this verse which is why CopyPat wrote this verse. I saw you posted a verse that was outside your traditional structures, but I haven't read it yet. I will. But I like your traditional structures because no one else does these deep rhymes without filler now as well as you. Have you ever read Rikoshay's old work? I think he has an entry in the Hall of Names. He used to do a lot of deep rhymes, though he prefered an academic bent. Anyway, the thing that stands out is always how natural you make these ridiculous rhymes come off, but here I really liked the name-dropping section Darth Yoda quoted.

Lars, you were the perfect follow to CopyPat because you matched his rhymes but mixed up the scheme enough that it meant I didn't have to follow such a regimented style with my all-over-the-placeness. Your verse took me a second to really get into, but once you hit your stride about midway through, it took off. "Boba Fett" probably was the turning point. The line about living alone was the high point. You bounce rhymes off each other to create coherent but stream-of-consciousness content, and I really like that. Your mechanics are very sound.

Certain, you can't handle this type of crowd in this kind of style.

Split Eight, you surprised me a bit because I've never seen you drop this type of verse, but you held your own. I didn't like the Dragon Ball Z stuff because it's so fucking played out and I never watched it. But I really liked the Olympic parkour line and the stuff related to it around it. You write based on vague concepts that are concrete in your mind, and this style sort of suits that. Your verse was too short.

Darth Yoda, you misspelled "ripe." Otherwise, I thought this was up to your normal standards but not as exceptional as your "Clockwork Orgy." With that said, "Most critics critiquing call me a genius, compard to Einstein cause' Neitzsche is harder to type." was by far the best line of this. I also liked "disrekierkegaard" and wonder if anyone's ever used that wordplay before. I wasn't as much a fan of the following line because the meta deconstruction seemed out of place in the verse. Your flow was a little bumpier than anyone else except my own, but I think your content was very sharp.

Also, @Wise Ways, we're waiting.

[Brian Bryan]

bump!

[Certain]

@Wise Ways and @Genocide left us hanging.

[Fig]

BOOMP!

There's a small chance I'll feed, but at least I'm honest

[Fig]

just so you dicks know, I completed about half of this feed and then my connection shut off. so I re-did it, because I love you. And because im insanely focused right now.

@Certain @Darth Yoda @Split Eight @Lars @CopyPat






Copy

Did somebody say…
Lighthearted with lots of rhymes and stuff? My mics started, its cocky time, whatsup?

I like how you went off of that cake quote. Not only was it pretty funny (how you followed it not the quote itself, that shit was fucking dumb as fuck) but its just an overall great way to open up a flex piece

I write varnish with glossy lines and brush you mild artists with monotonous styles that suck. I’m like farmers, my chop is prime when I cut, my mic harvests in bulk supply what you love. I’m multi rhymin this up, I’m Dull combined with some Bwah, and Vulgar lines for you Brahs, emulsified when I bust. I ultraviolet you fucks like hotel exposés. This son is blinding you chumps.. oh well, get some rays.

Those were some dope name drops, and name droppin is usually pretty corny, which this was in a way, but its a cool little risk that worked out in your favor. And your transitions are clean here, especially in the lines right after the bold. yum. sry.

Coattail texters stay riding my thick cape. My flow stay Texas, way I fry you in this state. The brightest to spit waves, the title is sick. Spray tidals amidst lame writers who drip H

flow man. yes. obviously structure is the main focus in your writing, and it shows here. The content was especially nice here, probably my favorite section of your verse

..Two Oh, you know that my style is a big lake. Submerging so deep like I’m diving with fish eggs. I’m kindof a dick eh? My flow is the soggiest. I rhyme in a big way, the whole enchilada shit. Your flowin is on the fritz.. leaky faucet style. I’m blowin the nozzle tips, leave you sopping style. Reading Copy’s files like swimming in flood plains. Leave ya body dyed from the drizzling blood stains.

your scheming here is still nice, the content is tiresome though. The big lake/fish eggs/dick eh bit was my least favorite. I guess how you kept a whole theme going from "the brightest to spit waves" line up until the end was cool, this last bit still dragged on though. I need more flava. good shit copy.


Lars

Freedom costs a price, I'll give you my months pay, to leave me off the right of the wilderness. Drunkscape.

I didnt follow this. Especially the part in bold. but its cool how you picked up where copy left off in terms of scheming. so fun.

I'll even offer twice what you were wishing for, cuntface. Fishing for someplace instead of compliments in this digital upgrade we're heading nonetheless. I convalesce with Cherry's Darlings in rotten bedroom-esque apartments. I've lost my head and Penny Farthing but what the heck?

that bold was shweet. your transition from that line to the next, and the scheme of the lines after the bold were all excellent.

Lets get it started. I’m Boba Fett, the deadly marksman atop the deck ya fledgling starship offing heads and pressing targets. I’ve got the stench of every carcass and rotten eggs filling my nose.

rotten eggs? seemed out of place, in the scheme that is. eh, fuck it. The multis here were kinda, off...

I’m plotting deaths, thinking of home & what I left. Glimmer of hope dithering slowly. Living alone isn’t as rosy as my palms are. I’m nosy as an aardvark. Blow me, I’m a lard arse who stays loaded up with Mars bars, blowing dust with rass clarts and known for hustling card sharks.

okay so the multis here were, cray cray. Great way to end. Although, there was a stark change in tone from the morbidity of the begging of the quote to the braggadocio of the whole aardvark bit on. But it was a good change, like in a bipolar crazy fuck kinda way. I liked this. You are a wordsmith.

Certain

I'm too compulsive to miss an apostrophe. Get off of me. I've got a dismissive discography,

lighten up pal. but I enjoyed this intro. truthful and candid, in an emo sorta way. maybe just your way of justifying the cynicism that follows right after.

giving bitches shit for their witless phrenology: medulla oblongata weak.

It was funny after I googled phrenology. and oblongata weak was a tight rhyme.

Preach, brother. I see Yoda in the street hovering with speech bubbles like Batman. Adam West. Bang zoom. I've got unique tumbleweed deep puzzles to keep smothering weak-muscled emcees under me. Shatter chests. Bang zoom. King-sized master bed swag, too. Let me plaster that crag-tooth bitch with a right hook.

fire. its hard to critique a flex.

After, I'll cuddle up with a nice book. Black president. Whites shook. Track residents with spy crooks. Wax endless yet my ears are clean. Weird with schemes, medium rare but completely raw. I'm decent y'all. Speeding off with prosthesis clogs. I'm nothing less than a ouija God trapped in a genie jar.

the bold reminded me of something action bronson would say. Ending seems rushed, but thats just how it goes with these things. clean mechanics and an overall colorful verse. the combination made my eyes bleed.

Split Eight

I don't know what I'm facing, but I'll still go super-saiyan. Do a mean Vegeta, lethal and brainless when I steep in deep focus and apex.

super saiyan lines been played out nigga. and apex didnt rhyme enough for me. The way the second half of line was worded was vicious as fuck though.

Trade up my homies, steam cook their faces, lemon-law with citrus arrangement, capers and codeine.

nice disjointed Split scheme with discomforting content. This duo works really well. Your should write horror core. pffffft. but really this was cool.

That shimmery shine is simply the greed in my iris. I'm an aikido goliath, chain locks, spit keys and arm-bars. I don't bow at the knee for encore pleas, I crowdsource, pressure-point deep in thugs who freely bound forth, like stretching knees for olympic parkour. Fifteen thou logarithmic foot-pounds of torque. Slipstream, carve curves, in tidal-locked waves of jugular blood spurts. Final fantasy, I fucks with the sunburst.

a big highlight of the whole piece. you should write like this when you do these things. the whole quote, not just the bold. and thats the best feed I could probably give you.

Darth Yoda

Want to know the reason I'm speaking so oddly and write? I'll let you in ona secret. (he's) Uniquely ungodly at times. You're a leaflet. Precariously perched on this tree. To me you're a branch or a vine. Styles golden. Money doesn't grow in the wrong tree you're barking up, ripe.

successful combination of these turn of phrases. I thought this was the best intro of the whole piece.

Most critics critiquing call me a genius, compared to Einstein cause' Neitzsche is harder to type.

this one gets its own quote box

Technique is an embodiment thesis, get sparks to ignite. Cryogenic telekinesis. Embodying Jesus, reading Psalms 2-through-5. Your highly facetious style in speak, is beneath in kilometers, I'm. A philosopher. A novelist poet, wound in conduit, unbeknownst.

I googled cryogenic but Im still a bit confused. Ive dug my fair share today.

No theologian known to man could understand why I ordered sculptors to sculpt by hand my monolith with me hunched over as if I were blowing gas.

lold

I'm just morbid. I like to call myself an existenchalist. With just extra credentials and better rhythm and a blatant disrekierkegaard to existentialism. You probably looked that up cause that's not how you spell regard.

a lot of wordplay that I dont get. Ill understand when im older right? I'm just lazy. I could google the stuff and things, the way you ended it though made me feel like I got everything out of this that I needed.

Hellish. Afar from most wouldve fell and departed their souls

worded oddly. Kinda fucked with the comprehension.

from the body them held them and helped them support, during birth, from the womb I ordered a c-section of course, so the doctors and nurses would presume they could start the remorse, and use every curse word rehearsed, cause they delivered this embellishing serpent to Earth. You don't spank me, I spank you, using my umbilical cord. I'm a ungod. Use a scrub nurse as hostage. Mom passes out from the blood-loss. Fuck a mental, this is a metaphysical ward. Burn about 1/3rd of the hospice. Cynical warlord. Using bibs to cover the corpse. Murder the Gerber baby. & when they stitched her up everyone in the room would remember the scars.

Well fuck that was brutal. the metaphysical ward was borderline corny. everything else was fine. baby murder for the win. but seriously though that end bit was amusing and funny. I love your writing style the most I think. Youre constant change in pov was noted. structure was a bit less than that of your contemporaries.

This was a flex piece. Split had the best verse, with yoda as a close second. Everyone else was about equal. No one was really bad. damn im high.

[Lars]

LOL

My schemes are all bananas. I keyed as I saw Copy's drop. AINT NO REAL G GOT TIME FOR WRITING, YO

[Objective]

Copy starts off the whole thing well with his signature style and set the standard. Great rhyming, swag & flowing naturally through the verse. Dope shit.

Lars starts off rather in a rather melancholy atmosphere. Nothing that grabbed my attention from the get go, but it picked up extremely fast though and managed to keep the standard and the feel of the collabo as a whole. And I'm looking forward to read what the other people got to offer.

Certain takes grabs the torch and does his thing. Don't really got anything to add than ''it was cool'', some interesting concepts and the closure was pretty dope. Same thing can be applied to Split eights verse altho' his closure was significantly weaker than Certain's imo.

Darth Yoda said some things I didn't really care about until the Nietzsche line, that shit was dope as fuck and opened my eyes to what more he got to say. Btw, that's not how you pronounce Kierkegaard, learn to ''å'' mate! (Two aa's in norwegian/swedish/danish is the same as an ''å'', so that line doesn't really work once you reach people that can pronounce his name correctly (if it is the danish philosopher or whatever you're referring to here) and the ''D'' at the end of his name is silent. I know I'm nitpicking, but it had to be mentioned... The concept was dope tho', just sucks that it doesn't work as it's supposed to. The rest of the verse was allright, wtf @ at the whole birth thing but it was cool enough. Unique to say the least. Overall a decent job that did what it was supposed to.

Overall I enjoyed the fuck outta it. Keep it up, all of you. Peace.

[Vulgar]

This was diggety dope.

my mic harvests in bulk supply what you love. I’m multi rhymin this up, I’m Dull combined with some Bwah, and Vulgar lines for you Brahs, emulsified when I bust.
^elite mode.

Glimmer of hope dithering slowly. Living alone isn’t as rosy as my palms are. I’m nosy as an aardvark.
^Stylish.

I'm decent y'all. Speeding off with prosthesis clogs. I'm nothing less than a ouija God trapped in a genie jar.
^pretty funky contribution.

Slipstream, carve curves, in tidal-locked waves of jugular blood spurts. Final fantasy, I fucks with the sunburst.
^lol

Technique is an embodiment thesis, get sparks to ignite. Cryogenic telekinesis. Embodying Jesus, reading Psalms 2-through-5.
^Good techniques throughout like this but I thought it was too jumpy.

Keep it up yawl