06-28-2020, 10:02 PM | #1 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
Orc 0-0 vs Adverse 0-0 - ADVERSE WINS BY NS
Netcees Pic League Min: 10 Lines Max: 16 Lines Line limit can go up to 20 if both agree Due Thursday, 7/2 at Midnight PST For everything else, check the Rules Thread @Orc @Adverse |
06-28-2020, 10:07 PM | #2 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Hell yeah, let's do this go ahead and choose the line limit I'll match your energy fam
|
07-01-2020, 03:40 AM | #3 |
Certified Mother’s Boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,165
Battle Record: 5-1
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 4
- GBL Season 1
- Lyric Olympics
- Fight Night LXVI
- Fight Night LX
- Fight Night (3x)
- NBL Picture Roast
- Netcees Battle League (8x)
- NBL Picture League
- Gimmick Battle League
- BA Tag Team
- 1-2 Punch League
- NBL Cypher (3x)
- Battle Arena League
- OM HOF (2x)
Rep Power: 85899390 |
Got you with 12 bro
|
07-01-2020, 11:49 PM | #4 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Fuck it I'm antsy here's 12
Orc’s a storied battler, with a great career that deserves plenty honors His bars are retarded...so it's only fitting he looks like the real life Jimmy Valmer Slumped over with that miserable hair piece i need some visual clarity Because i can't tell if you just hobbled out of rehab or physical therapy What fitness plan you on my guy? Please sign me up Because I gotta admit you look totally shredded - well, at least your knee does A modern medical marvel, really rattling your doctor’s brain ACL is usually a sports injury, but you hurt yours cheerin for a soccer game Fucked your mom senseless last night, I told that fat bitch to take it Already broke her back but he's still lookin down tryna avoid cracks in the pavement I’m glad you’ve recovered though fam, I have a feeling that hurt You’ll be posting a similar picture on Insta tomorrow hashtag #WhatHappensWhenYouBattleAdverse Last edited by Sharp; 07-02-2020 at 05:54 PM. Reason: Editing verse back in per Adverse's request |
07-02-2020, 10:29 AM | #5 |
Certified Mother’s Boy
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 5,165
Battle Record: 5-1
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Champed - NBL Season 4
- GBL Season 1
- Lyric Olympics
- Fight Night LXVI
- Fight Night LX
- Fight Night (3x)
- NBL Picture Roast
- Netcees Battle League (8x)
- NBL Picture League
- Gimmick Battle League
- BA Tag Team
- 1-2 Punch League
- NBL Cypher (3x)
- Battle Arena League
- OM HOF (2x)
Rep Power: 85899390 |
I’m going to be ghost. Can’t find time for this with work and life resuming. You win. Sorry Sharp. Sign me out for the foreseeable.
|
07-02-2020, 10:24 PM | #6 |
NJ Devil
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12,042
Battle Record: Who Cares
Accomplishments - Hall of Fame
Rep Power: 84181417 |
Damn ..
__________________
Bed stuy fly Bushwick sick East ny walk |
07-02-2020, 10:39 PM | #7 |
AHHHHHHH
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 558
Battle Record: 16-17
Rep Power: 8596595 |
I can't see orcs pic to match the lyrics to it to leave u feed
__________________
.
..death to all RIGHT RIGHT!! |
07-02-2020, 11:29 PM | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 5,684
Battle Record: 1-5
Accomplishments - Lost to Kill Spree
Champed - Wall Talking
Rep Power: 4052251 |
the fuck is this shit... adverse looking like a hawaiann hugging a poke ball with a hair line like hulk hogan and you delete ya shit... no offense to adverse... but there could be shit... talk what you go
__________________
I just figured out how to change this. |
07-02-2020, 11:29 PM | #9 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 5,684
Battle Record: 1-5
Accomplishments - Lost to Kill Spree
Champed - Wall Talking
Rep Power: 4052251 |
smh
__________________
I just figured out how to change this. |
07-03-2020, 12:32 AM | #10 |
low tide in serotonin bay
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Battle Record: 37-28
Champed - GWL Picture Challenge
- Guerrilla Writing League
- Black August II
Rep Power: 15446142 |
Hulk Hogan hairline best compliment I've got in awhile thx fam
|
07-05-2020, 09:43 AM | #11 |
HE / HIM / FRAC
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21
Accomplishments - 50+ Wins
Champed - The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 12601535 |
I'm assuming most people didn't see orcs pic. I remember it pretty well, but I don't recall every little detail. Take my feed with a grain of salt
Orc’s a storied battler, with a great career that deserves plenty honors His bars are retarded...so it's only fitting he looks like the real life Jimmy Valmer this is a solid angle. I like how it was specific to the pic and the type of crutches orc had. Wouldn't count on everyone knowing Jimmy Valmer though. 'Jimmy from South Park' is a safer bet. The setup is a little confusing though. I get that you're using retarded as a compliment, but by doing that you're not making it as much of a punch. If it were me I would've gone for something like 'I know you think your bars are retarded but did you have to dress up as Jimmy' to keep it mean throughout. Of course, you're a different battler, so I'm glad you did it your way too. Slumped over with that miserable hair piece i need some visual clarity Because i can't tell if you just hobbled out of rehab or physical therapy he's coming out of rehab because of his hair? Or does that just exist for the rhyme scheme? What fitness plan you on my guy? Please sign me up Because I gotta admit you look totally shredded - well, at least your knee does I really fuck with this one. I would've made it the opener. It's similar to how your opener started with a fake friendly tone but a more concise and effective bar. A modern medical marvel, really rattling your doctor’s brain ACL is usually a sports injury, but you hurt yours cheerin for a soccer game this one's just kind of meh. The angle itself is bad, but the joke itself is standalone funny Fucked your mom senseless last night, I told that fat bitch to take it Already broke her back but he's still lookin down tryna avoid cracks in the pavement almost distractingly simple tbh. I would've drawn attention to the looking down thing in the setup because it sounds like the bar is mostly a diss towards his mom (until the punchline). I’m glad you’ve recovered though fam, I have a feeling that hurt You’ll be posting a similar picture on Insta tomorrow hashtag #WhatHappensWhenYouBattleAdverse so you've changed your tone for the setup in half of your bars. If you piece a verse together over the week, it's easy to miss. Reading it straight through, though, it's pretty obvious. The punch itself is okay, but I think you could've gotten it across with less clunky wording. "how'd you get that pic from the future???" isn't revolutionary, so I'm glad you tried out the hashtag thing. Like I said, you're a different person, different style, best that you do it your way. But the changes in tone made it pretty distracting and took away chances for you to get some meaner wording in. The harshest insult you had was directed at Orcs mom. Loved the shredded line. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|