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Old 06-09-2020, 07:17 PM   #1
Inno
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Default WEEK 10: Artifce vs Activate self ART WINS OPEN FOR FEED


GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@Artifice @atcivate self

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Old 06-10-2020, 03:19 AM   #2
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In. Good luck, Art.
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Old 06-10-2020, 10:51 AM   #3
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check. good luck Activate, let's make it a good one.
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Old 06-13-2020, 10:27 PM   #4
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Activate said he can't show, so I'm not gonna bother with really trying to polish what I had written... just dropping it for feedback as is...


she sits alone on her porch, the rocking chair creaks
movin' back & forth, a memory on constant repeat
the topic on which she found it awkward to speak
birthing her hurt, placenta'd tears rolling off of her cheek
constantly weeps thinking about the soul that's lost
plus aunts, uncles & cousins killed in the holocaust
forced to flee the homeland when evil crawled across
she never slept, at night the third reich was all she saw
always on the move, she would jettison quick
but her family tree only branched the short end of the stick
the ring was the only thing she had from her mother
plus no mementos to help remember dad or her brothers
still she carried their essence through her survival
escaped the tribal fate, new worlds awaited her arrival
through decades of peace her youth decayed
her brow gradually wrinkled, slowly her roots have greyed
but a truth remains locked in the lens of the mirror
the reflection it projects is a death she couldn't see clearer
what she perspects in the polished glass is sacred
it's her twin... she's the burden of the one who didn't make it
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Old 06-14-2020, 07:58 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Artifice View Post
Activate said he can't show, so I'm not gonna bother with really trying to polish what I had written... just dropping it for feedback as is...


she sits alone on her porch, the rocking chair creaks
movin' back & forth, a memory on constant repeat
the topic on which she found it awkward to speak
birthing her hurt, placenta'd tears rolling off of her cheek
constantly weeps thinking about the soul that's lost
plus aunts, uncles & cousins killed in the holocaust
forced to flee the homeland when evil crawled across
she never slept, at night the third reich was all she saw
always on the move, she would jettison quick
but her family tree only branched the short end of the stick
the ring was the only thing she had from her mother
plus no mementos to help remember dad or her brothers
still she carried their essence through her survival
escaped the tribal fate, new worlds awaited her arrival
through decades of peace her youth decayed
her brow gradually wrinkled, slowly her roots have greyed
but a truth remains locked in the lens of the mirror
the reflection it projects is a death she couldn't see clearer
what she perspects in the polished glass is sacred
it's her twin... she's the burden of the one who didn't make it
Felt.

Vanishing twin syndrome is a real thing and this was an interesting take on this topic. Even without polish this was solid, but with some more editing, which I'm sure you were planning on doing, I feel this would've been tough to beat.

Always enjoy your stuff man.
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