WEEK 8: Elfo vs Artifice ART WINS VIA NS OPEN FOR FEED

Inno · 05-12-2020, 12:43 PM

GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE

@Elfo @Artifice

Max line: 30

Min: 10

Check in: 48 hours after thread post

Due date: May 16, 2020 11:59 EST TIME

GOODLUCK!

Artifice · 05-12-2020, 03:47 PM

check...

Elfo · 05-14-2020, 09:41 AM

Checc

Artifice · 05-15-2020, 04:18 PM

her window of opportunity, the sky turns grey
no more hideaway, she's comin' out... it's time to play
they desperately tried to keep her mind a daze
but this ray of light to her right helped her find a way
beginnin' her trek in a pink dress w/ a hood
most kids 'd be too skittish for this neck of the woods
trees rooted in fear... so see as you near
the creepiness keeps increasing the less that you look
ground made of carcasses covered in fallen leaves
muerte from the smallest shrubs to the tallest trees
no sorrow for the poor souls swallowed in dirt
for their bloodshed brings life to her body of work
victims fertilizin' her garden of death
smell sickening to the stomach, so hard to digest
like a fungus or a disease spreading thru veins
she raises annuals of anguish, perennials of pain
witness land grown by the hands of a daughter
her innocence luring you in like lambs to the slaughter
it's a fatal mistake to try and be nice
when she says
want to see my garden? you'll have the time of your life

Adverse · 05-17-2020, 07:09 AM

@Elfo

Johnny 6 feet · 05-19-2020, 04:05 PM

Shame this didn't blossom into a battle. Ha, get it?

I got vibes of Claudia from 'Interview with the Vampire' from this piece. Don't suppose you've read the book? Seen the movie? I think it was the right take to make the girl the danger in the picture you were given. The hell's she doing out there anyway? Lol.

Some stands outs:

"most kids 'd be too skittish for this neck of the woods
trees rooted in fear... so see as you near
the creepiness keeps increasing the less that you look"

A nice allusion to your mind being it's own worst enemy.

"no sorrow for the poor souls swallowed in dirt
for their bloodshed brings life to her body of work"

It's good to recycle!

You always bring that good imagery and technical skill to your writing Artifice. You should put this in OM. Good work.

05-12-2020, 12:43 PM	#1
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,005 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899400	WEEK 8: Elfo vs Artifice ART WINS VIA NS OPEN FOR FEED GUERRILLA WRITING LEAGUE @Elfo @Artifice Max line: 30 Min: 10 Check in: 48 hours after thread post Due date: May 16, 2020 11:59 EST TIME GOODLUCK!

05-15-2020, 04:18 PM	#4
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944945	Planting Seeds her window of opportunity, the sky turns grey no more hideaway, she's comin' out... it's time to play they desperately tried to keep her mind a daze but this ray of light to her right helped her find a way beginnin' her trek in a pink dress w/ a hood most kids 'd be too skittish for this neck of the woods trees rooted in fear... so see as you near the creepiness keeps increasing the less that you look ground made of carcasses covered in fallen leaves muerte from the smallest shrubs to the tallest trees no sorrow for the poor souls swallowed in dirt for their bloodshed brings life to her body of work victims fertilizin' her garden of death smell sickening to the stomach, so hard to digest like a fungus or a disease spreading thru veins she raises annuals of anguish, perennials of pain witness land grown by the hands of a daughter her innocence luring you in like lambs to the slaughter it's a fatal mistake to try and be nice when she says want to see my garden? you'll have the time of your life

05-12-2020, 03:47 PM	#2
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944945	check...

05-14-2020, 09:41 AM	#3
Elfo ~¡c0ck~0f-d4+w@Lk!~ Join Date: Apr 2020 Posts: 250 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 203859	Checc

05-17-2020, 07:09 AM	#5
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,739 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446142	@Elfo

05-19-2020, 04:05 PM	#6
Johnny 6 feet Storyteller Join Date: May 2020 Posts: 446 Battle Record: 8-4 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5558444	Shame this didn't blossom into a battle. Ha, get it? I got vibes of Claudia from 'Interview with the Vampire' from this piece. Don't suppose you've read the book? Seen the movie? I think it was the right take to make the girl the danger in the picture you were given. The hell's she doing out there anyway? Lol. Some stands outs: "most kids 'd be too skittish for this neck of the woods trees rooted in fear... so see as you near the creepiness keeps increasing the less that you look" A nice allusion to your mind being it's own worst enemy. "no sorrow for the poor souls swallowed in dirt for their bloodshed brings life to her body of work" It's good to recycle! You always bring that good imagery and technical skill to your writing Artifice. You should put this in OM. Good work.