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Old 09-24-2018, 09:41 PM   #1
Inno
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Default Split vs Pancakebrah[CAKE WINS]

NWL:Season I: Week I



Verses are due: FRIDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Voting ends: SUNDAY at 11:59 PM EST

Line Limit: Minimum:10 lines, Max: 30

Voting on 2 battles is required.



TOPIC:


@Split Eight @PancakeBrah

Last edited by Inno; 10-01-2018 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 09-29-2018, 10:50 PM   #2
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Science Fiction



Now, I can't describe it. Not one person could do it justice.
Even in photo, the hue's corrupted. And any crude adjustment
in post production, well, that's abuse. A ghoulish subject not worth discussion. With what brush could you touch it up with?
This is...a post cubist structure
with a most loose construction. More a feeling than sight. Penumbra sunset
at close. Such it was to behold. By the Life Cosmic, I was awestruck as you.
Jackson Pollock in oxygen blue. In a vacuum the comets rocket into
another to the sound of a sonnet, sonically mute. As millenia leapt
in a minute, a breath, I fought back tears and tasted the nectar of sweat
and felt such a depth to regret. Jealous of each moment passing to next,
that I was was wasting time even collecting myself.

See, I've felt their concrete. All their mundanity drains,
bone on bone. To the point that inanity claims are my welcome reprieve
to a repetitive streak set to a clock to their sedative sleep.
I'd rather these never could be's,
in the lapping ocean of firsthand moonlight, to their more "sensible things."
This is not...this is not what separates me,
or elevates. These ideas aren't mine; they call it a trick.
I just speak for everyone who's not agnostic to it

Then, it's just beauty hung in a void. My scene for recital,
complete with applause; that silent, thunderous noise.
I'm knee deep in revival, from what I've seen from the Belt
I saw my Venus de Milo in Venus itself
firsthand. Trying to collect myself.
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream
Between the viaducts of your dreams
Where immobil steel rims crack
And the ditch in the back road stop
Could you find me?
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Old 09-29-2018, 11:00 PM   #3
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@Split Eight
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:43 AM   #4
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This had its flashes of brilliance scattered throughout, I like your writing Pan. It reminded me of Certain quite a lot (rest in peace). The opening four lines are pretty bonkers but penumbra sunset is fire. You must have known that when you came up with it. Craziness. Pollock in oxygen blue was fire too. Real deadman-esque visual quality to it. I fucks with it heavy. Nectar of sweat also. The Venus de Milo was a masterstroke as well, shame he no showed it. It would have made for a good war of words this week.

Keep that pen moving!
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:22 PM   #5
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CAKE WINS

Will review this verse in the mag
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