07-07-2017, 10:55 PM | #1 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 910
Battle Record: 4-4
Rep Power: 7502711 |
Donald Slump
|
07-09-2017, 02:05 AM | #2 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 910
Battle Record: 4-4
Rep Power: 7502711 |
What i cant get feed on this
|
07-11-2017, 05:15 AM | #3 |
Allan o dywyllwch
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 163
Battle Record: 10-0
Champed - AOWL Season 7
- Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 514456 |
Probably because we need an audio section again.
This was interesting. I like the thought and creativity that went into this idea. There were a few negatives - the track took too long to get going. Your vocals started off a bit too quiet, and although there were some positives lyrically, your flow was way off on quite a few occasions, which is a shame because where your flow worked this sounded really nice. The chorus had potential. The quite lazy sounding "slump" worked but I also felt your chorus needed a little bit more. Overall, the idea was really nice, but I felt the execution was quite way off in places.
__________________
Tha Pastor Reach Yeah aka Rev. George Whitefield |
07-11-2017, 08:41 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 910
Battle Record: 4-4
Rep Power: 7502711 |
Thank you. I agree.
|
07-11-2017, 11:12 AM | #5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 26,349
Battle Record: 0-1
Rep Power: 84181442 |
love the beat and the trump excerpts a lot
your flow way off to me tho content is fine/whatever mediocre not a fan of narrow conceptual efforts regardless but this idea could've been dece |
07-11-2017, 11:23 AM | #6 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 910
Battle Record: 4-4
Rep Power: 7502711 |
Thank you sir.
Definitely a couple rough spots i have the raw version and still mess with it but its listenable so im happy about that. |
07-11-2017, 12:45 PM | #7 | |
Allan o dywyllwch
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 163
Battle Record: 10-0
Champed - AOWL Season 7
- Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 514456 |
Quote:
You'll find that this improves as you keep progressing and figure out what works and what doesn't as you go along.
__________________
Tha Pastor Reach Yeah aka Rev. George Whitefield |
|
07-12-2017, 12:50 AM | #8 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 910
Battle Record: 4-4
Rep Power: 7502711 |
My editing skills are light years beyond when i started. That being said i still have trouble 100%ing a song. Im getting closer though
As far as flow i write these elaborate verses in my head, lay them down and they end up being off by a syllable or 2. I'll go back and manually cut it out excess or try to fill in spots that i may have missed. It sounds like extra work then just re recording and it is but im getting quicker at fixing the problems. |
07-22-2017, 09:53 PM | #9 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 |
Is Donald Slump a play on "Donald Trump", our president?
Beat was cool. The choice of Trump snippets was nice for the vibe of the track. I'm no rapper, and I detest rap music. But your voice was mixed too low, or the mic quality was so bad it made ot seem mixed too low. The first verse was off beat in 3-4 different ways. Too slow, too fast, etc. The second verse was much better until the 'coats' scheme then it went off the rails again. It was hard to focus on the content when i was trying to hear but it seemed fine. Work on being consistent on the beat, i suppose. Audioheads would give better advice.
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
08-01-2017, 01:11 AM | #10 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,023
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678 |
This isnt really an audio section tbh >.>
Ill check this out in the future though. til then here is a friendly bump.
__________________
.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
|
|