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Old 06-04-2015, 11:47 AM   #1
Vulgar
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Default R. 2: Pent uP vs. Soulstice - (Pent Up wins)

Welcome to Round 2 of the tournament.

There is no line limit.
VOTE ON OTHER BATTLES (thanks)

Verses Due Tuesday Night. (June 9th)
Midnight Western / 3 AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
(24 hour extensions are allowed. Only one though.)

Voting Ends Thursday Night
12 AM Western / 3AM Eastern / 8 AM UK.
Exceptions can be made if a suitable reason is supplied

Have Fun
Peace

@Pent uP @Soulstice

TOPIC:


Last edited by Vulgar; 06-04-2015 at 12:20 PM.
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Old 06-04-2015, 01:49 PM   #2
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Tourney doesn't start until the ritualistic soul vs pent battle

cool pic
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? subtly? what the fuck is a subtly? i dont know what that is. can someone help me out?
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:56 PM   #3
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I thought we would be the finalists
Cheers man - lets give them a show
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Old 06-12-2015, 08:13 PM   #4
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Soulstice's verse:




He thought of the clouds
Where he drank away his arrogant youth
In that crotchety town
That would barely approve
Of his trumpeting mischief
With his careless, uncouth
Thunderous misfits....

Songvale. A mortal might call it: a lakeside dream
As Michael tore through it at break-neck speeds
On his triple-crown Pegasus, the City-Cloud eminent
of all race-adept steeds. With a bottle of golden elixir
in one hand, the other: a magnificent vixen
To be forgotten tomorrow, she'll be lost in the bottle
While he wishes his liver forgives him.
Later that night, representing Aegis Academy
He finishes first in the race, with radiant majesty
He savors it happily. He sees the next one..
his lips pop on her cheek
And they retreat to the estate which his father bequeathed

His father,
Lord Achil. The mighty protector of Heaven's realms
Slayer of horned beasts: emissaries helming Hell
It's hereditary, He's next to shelter and conquer the patterns
Of the six-headed hydra-riding monsters attacking.

In a spherical room, trapped in blue-electric restraints
Cursing the ancient magic that kept him in place
While he was nearing his doom, he shivered and wept
And thought of the Moment.. became filled with regret.

At the Achil Estate..
Where the bubbly's shared..
champagne erupting from bottles, spurring laughter
It hung in the air, you could gaze into eternal rapture
While burning ashes of dead golems for a spectacular high
Compelling dancing for now, forgoing the chalice of wine
The palace divine, trysts barely hidden behind tall ivory pillars
Drunk angels peering into the pit of false idols and sinners
Has father imprisoned.. as they whistled, hooted, laugh
Until one tipped over and fell, into the abyssal supermax
Became coated in putrid black, teeth angled in impossible ways
Eyes flaring red, but at least locked in the grave...

In a fractal steel-gray prison in the Outer Dark
He remembers it all, it nearly drowns his heart
His captors have forgot him in this metal barge
In the Forbidden Galaxy, where he's left to starve..

In the morning, cups and precious jewels littered the lawn and
Ancient amulets hung from the intricate fauna
Last night was awesome, he mused in hungover pride
He wandered the house and found there was someone inside
What's up, he inquired, an empty stare was returned
But hes still drunk, the soulless iris barely disturbed
Can you show me the Aegis? Eyes blank as ever
Bro... of course! He took him to the sanctuary

The sanctuary. Where the Blade of Immortals rested
The Infinite Arc and other important weapons
But none more respected than wars bane itself
The intersection of battle and peace. The Aegis Bell

He opened the Golden Gate like a proud parent
"This thing moves mountains, makes clouds perish"
He's loud, relished the moment. Another friend he impressed
When suddenly he lashed out, put a welt on his chest
His eyes flared red... shadows engulfed the ***kling figure
The aegis was gone, and powers balance had shifted
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Old 06-13-2015, 02:00 AM   #5
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The Vestibule Abstract

Dimension Zero --

It's hard to explain - an atom particle: plain
and harboring information that might embark to your brain,
but it'll go unnoticed like binary code to computers
or nucleotides as their shown in us humans.
Consider it a pixel with a formidable future -
bits of information that grow with the user.
Dont get confused though; It's not one of the world's inventions.
It's just nothingness with potential purpose pending.

The First Dimension --

A line such as one on paper this verse is penned in.
Constructed from previous dots, who's measurement is endless.
The further it's traveled the greater the distance -
in a round-about sense you could take the equator for instance.
Still not finite like the matter of Jesus,
or the path of the breeze when a traveler sneezes.
It could be the border in a picture between canvas and cretin,
or the galaxy's timeline - if we ever happen to see it.

The Second Dimension --

Crafted from pieces of infinite lines that are presently set in
- forming planes such as signs warning plebs of a dead end.
It has space to be used, or could be traveled and touched -
such as subway walls when bombers handle a brush
or have a can in their clutch. A tray managed at lunch
is a plane until it's a space with bags full of grub.
Make a canvas erupt by putting dots on a plane --
and manipulate art in a godly exchange.

The Third Dimension --

A quadrant contained when planes intersect -
plotting a space for matter such as a brain in a head.
If the plane was a bed - the space could be the length of your leg.
Just like your face is the surface for sweat during insatiable dread.
It's all relative - there's no theory to string here.
This is the dimension we live in, and where I clearly just drink beer.
It's weird, now, to think clear - A gypsy's the same as a prince
when we think of matter as information and bits.
Genetic coding is luck no matter how lame it can get -
comparable to gambling versus gaming with wit.

The Fourth Dimension --

Is insane in a sense. A space of spaces affixed
to each other - I suspect this is where we may just exist.
The consensus is "Time," but I think that Dimension is "Five."
In this Dimension: space is the element of design.
The information allows matter to strengthen and fly
- creating features around us like the sediment and the sky,
but most importantly: The atmosphere to our cities.
Explaining "Why" can be adhereingly tricky.

Saccadic Suppression --

when your eyes see motions flying and mask the perception
with pre-programmed images that are mapped in a second.
Well, less, but the math is eccentric.
Fathom the message and get a grasp on the leverage.
Your brain "photoshops" reality for practical penchant -
but what subconscious duties on average are endless
that we never engaged or had to have questioned?
Such as: does a painters' brain see the canvas as exits?


For Saccadic Suppression to work - the elements must agree:
for every plausible action the brain expects what to see.
So either we control time, and in a sense are a cheat,
or have psychic abilities on a sensible leash.
I think neither are true, but the former is close.
This explains poor decisions from morons and dopes.
Also, this lends to De Ja Vu's as a trail of the false:
when your brain has a misstep and fails the saccade.
A brain is an organ that monitors how it's changed and evolved;
That taught you how to protect it from the painful and wrong.
It knows when to recharge and when to escape with alarm.
Uses our body to take an emotion and make it a song.
It's a gateway to the gods - connected to the building blocks.
While we're just the vestibule and living stock.
It's producing immortality and paving the course tall -
but our body is barely breaking the fourth wall.
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Old 06-13-2015, 04:34 PM   #6
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Soulstice: First of all, having now read quite a numerous of your pieces, I think you went a different route this time. Albeit, you still chose to deliver your story with the refinement that comes whenever Soulstice writes a piece. And I have to say, you are one of the best story-tellers in the site, mostly because of your attention to detail, and ability to depict it, while still carrying out the narrative, something I struggle with at times. But, you excel in it. Sometimes, you stories get so much into the details, that they become lackluster. and though their sustenance is there to feed the reader, sometimes it is less nourishing and impactful. This was the case here. Nevertheless, it was well-written, but I did not feel it had the pizazz that lured me in. Although, I did like the take. Mythological, and fable-like.

Pent Up: Undoubtedly the best verse I've read from you. Excellent take on the topic. The different dimensions was an excellent angle. Honestly, when your topic was posted, I also thought of that approach. But, I did not think about to the extent that you did. Yours was multi-dimensional and atomically expansive. I thought the piece was incredible, but I do think there are some things you could improve about it if you were to try to refine it. I thought the second dimension stanza was the worst, and could be re-written, I did not think it captured the essence of each dimension as the others did. I also thought the third dimension, some of the ephemeral bits were uninspired and not as impactful as they could be, seeing that is the dimension that we call our abode. I enjoyed the elements of neuroscience, the link between the functions of eye movements and the correlative advances in perception of the brain, as well as having a part in its evolution. But, then you added our conundrum in the last stanza. Splendid.

vote: Pent Up

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Old 06-13-2015, 07:17 PM   #7
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Im so fuckibg pissed. Had this broken down and lost it because the token expired??? WTF man.

Anyhow. Both yall merked this. Soulstice. I was gonna vote for you earlier but i ran out of time and had to leave.. i just came back and re examined eachverse and realized what peng did in breakibg down the construction of a verse in such a scientific way yet it relates to the gods and was blown away. Take nothibg away from soulstice i have to vote for peng up. I honestly wrote three times as much as this before it got deleted.

V/pent up
Against anyone else.. soulstice would have stole. The show with this verse.

Again BULLSHIT THAT KY FUCKIBG TOKEN.. WHATEVER THE HELLBTHAT IS.. EXPIRED AND I HAD TO HIT BACKPAGE JUST TO FIND EVERYTHIBG I WROTE WAS GONE.. THIS WAS BROKEN DOWN WAY FURTHER.
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Old 06-13-2015, 09:50 PM   #8
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this was an interesting take from both writers...


Soul, I really dug your verse man, it reminded me of some Jim Henson stuff
really making the topic your own and carrying through with a vivid tale
I really enjoyed the opening section when I started..

On his triple-crown Pegasus, the City-Cloud eminent
of all race-adept steeds. With a bottle of golden elixir
in one hand, the other: a magnificent vixen
To be forgotten tomorrow, she'll be lost in the bottle


This little area was dope, and really worth the read
as it progressed you picked up the pace and went in depth
but after this section I felt like you lost focus on where you were going

In the morning, cups and precious jewels littered the lawn and
Ancient amulets hung from the intricate fauna
Last night was awesome, he mused in hungover pride


And it's sad because I really enjoyed how it was working out for you...
either way this was a good piece coming from you breh, different but cool

Pent, Well I thought this was a step back for you...
the rhymes & the pace of your piece seemed really rushed
for me it's not up to par with your usual work you do
I've seen you drop more well rounded pieces than I can mention
not saying it was bad, it's just not what I'd expect from you

A line such as one on paper this verse is penned in.
Constructed from previous dots, who's measurement is endless.
The further it's traveled the greater the distance -


This little section was really well put together.
I thought the transition from World 1 to World 2 was cool

Is insane in a sense. A space of spaces affixed
to each other - I suspect this is where we may just exist.
The consensus is "Time," but I think that Dimension is "Five."
In this Dimension: space is the element of design.
The information allows matter to strengthen and fly


This was pretty cool to you pick steam back up towards the end
maybe the opening is where you really lost me but at the end it picks up
either way I felt this was a standard pent verse...nice work breh

v/To be honest I felt that both writers came correct in their areas of expertise
both having their moment to shine while they both had areas I found trouble with
I did enjoy everything up until the end of each piece...
but I'm going to have to give this to Pent, the closure in his piece felt well contrived
anyway good battle fella's keep it up


v/Pent
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