SHORT-VERSE ROUND 2 MAGAZINE

[Certain]

Welcome Back
INTRODUCTION by Certain





Hello, friends. We're doing this magazine thing again. The big thing is the interview with kannon that you can find immediately below this. Then there's the stuff from me, ranking every battle as well as the top five verses, taking a look at how our bracket predictors are doing and predicting next round. But also vote on the Alias Topical Tournament championship match. And remember that Write Week submissions are due Thursday (the same day that your 10-line verses are due). Thanks for showing. If you didn't show last round, why are you reading?



LISTEN UP/
THE INTERVIEW kannon, with Certain
The Mic Check champion shares his insights on all sorts of things, from the rap game to this tournament to aspirations.






Round 1 Rewind
BATTLE REVIEWS by Certain
Last round's Kanye West-themed battles get the ranking treatment from best to worst, as I did for Art of Writing League magazines.





1. jilti beats NYCSPITZ 8-5. | Last Call
BATTLE OF THE ROUND! There only was one real stunner in Round 1, when unknown swag-and-flow specialist jilti toppled one of our most respected writers. Here's the short: jilti took a clever approach on the topic and wrote it cleanly, while NYCSPITZ went grandiose and muddled his verse in metaphor. Both verses were very enjoyable, among the top half of submissions this week for sure. But jilti has put his name out there as someone to watch moving forward.

Originally Posted by jilti

dead silence to temperature rising in a matter of seconds
as adrenaline passed thru my anatomy to act out aggression
while tryna gather my senses, the intensity heightens
its rather evident the strap chatter was ending in violence

2. Eŋg beats UnbornBuddha 5-0. | Dark Fantasy
I weighed giving both of these writers higher seeds despite UnbornBuddha being new to topical battling and Eŋg not really having the résumé of other top seeds. They proved me right in the first round with what I thought was the most interesting battle of the round. UnbornBuddha's approach was a bit too direct, but even a more nuanced take probably wouldn't have defeated the deft rhyming and diction Eŋg showed.

Originally Posted by UnbornBuddha

Divine inspiration has me trying to find the pattern of humanoid sorrow.
But my own torture and lament has me wishing for another nuclear horror.
Perhaps world peace is to be found in the grammatical insanity of Confucius answers.
It’ll be nice, but I’m afraid that’s just self delusive chatter, a lunatic’s music channel.

3. Soulstice beats Objective 5-0. | My Way Home
Though he joked that these line constraints wouldn't work for him, Soulstice showed out in Round 1. Objective decided to go pretty straight-forward, writing about depression and suicide. That cliché approach didn't pay off or fail, really, but he didn't write at the same level as Soulstice.

Originally Posted by Objective

The dark forces of human nature keeps me awake,
I need sleep. Pretty please; just give me a break!
It's nothin' but fake, yet I sweat for the shit that I take,
let it get to me so I can regret the decisions I make.

4. El Pancake beats Innovator 8-0. | Lost in the World
It'd probably be easy to chalk the sloppiness in Innovator's verse up to the short turnaround he had to write his verse. And with some strong editing, he could have pulled the upset because he had the content. But that's also how he writes always, so I'm going to not take anything away from El Pancake's win here. He wrote a strong verse about the American dream, underachieving and this generation. His deft rhymes and clean diction were enough, even though Innovator's broad ideas about loss and being lost were a bit more interesting.

Originally Posted by Innovator

Bunch of sheep committing suicide. Truth is a line that's constantly blurred.
A wandering wind against the tides of destiny's oceans
We are the simply color against the canvas, brush strokes
Trying to paint the motions.

5. oats beats Defiant 6-0. | New Day
I have no idea why oats wrote about the Alias Topical Tournament championship topic. But that's what he did. He must have been really moved by it. I would love to see what he could do in a full verse about that topic because his submission was strong but a little underdeveloped here. Defiant came out with one of the best storytelling verses of the round.

Originally Posted by oats

Each season a new day. As a younger tree it creaked under cruel weight
Tears leaked to its roots once the man's feet couldn't move -
Traces around the man's neck, enough to prove he was too young
A single ring, from a rope. To trees he was reduced to a crude stump

6. trap beats Adonis 5-0. | Drop Dead Gorgeous
This was either the first or second battle up, and it was one of the best. trap did his thing with a great take on the topic invoking Ferguson. Split didn't get it at all. Adonis took on social media whores, and he had a lot of ideas in his verse but probably would have been better suited going with a more focused approach given the space limitations.

Originally Posted by Adonis

Enlarge this, tighten that; the strongest nation admires a plastic cap.
Blue collars aren't action packed so the movie's adjusted, embellished facts.
Devilish looks are attracted by the most gorgeous of upgrades.
Bionic lips that can't taste, Ironic eyes crying yet look amazed.

7. Split beats MMLP 5-0. | Drive Slow
I didn't consider that Split is a gearhead when I gave him this topic. Well, he killed it with one of the best verses of the round, writing about a father teaching a daughter to drive but also writing about much more than that. MMLP put up a solid fight but was very direct with his verse and couldn't match Split's layers.

Originally Posted by MMLP

revive your instincts and lay some goals
life on the binge can take its toll
over sized in shape, always changing clothes
a bloated height to weight ratio, gotta hide away, take things slow

8. Orc beats Zen 5-0. | Paranoid
People thought Zen posted a no-show verse even though that would have been pretty illogical since he posted days before even the check-in deadline. These people apparently don't read Zen's topical battle submissions very often. I liked it despite it being 50 words because of its emotion and rhyming. But Orc wrote a fine verse on short notice, ruminating on relationship angst because he listens to Drake and The Weeknd. I can respect that.

Originally Posted by Orc

memories surface: a tomb encased in a glass
honeymoons spent sunbathing in grass, rum tasting & laughs
the pyres burning, fever pitch: evil bitch
no iron curtain, wounds ripped open and didn't leave a stitch

9. Cormier beats timeless 5-0. | Blame Game
This was one of the better topics, and these two took very different approaches. Cormier wrote about war and what it means, and his verse was exceptionally polished but not all that interesting. timeless had a very interesting approach about sex abuse but was very muddled in his writing, causing some confusion about what happened. Clarity usually wins.

Originally Posted by Cormier

Gas chambers, bombings, beheadings, hangings and firing squads
Carried out in the names of tyrants trying to be gods
Innocents displaced over the need for growing borders
Venting their hate of soldiers who were just “following orders”

10. Pinot Grij beats pharaohsarmy52 5-0. | Welcome to the Jungle
The Guns N' Roses topic produced two extremely different takes, too. Pinot Grij turned Tony the Tiger into a pedophile rapist, which was a totally Pinot Grij thing to do. He won more for his crisp delivery than anything, as pharaohsarmy52 was very sloppy with rhymes and diction in a verse about war. This was one of the stranger battles of the week.

Originally Posted by Pinot Grij

Tony the Tiger woke up smelling like a horse's vagina
After the whores, he scored some coke and pulled an all-nighter
Adjusted his neckerchief and looked over his lousy apartment
Which appeared even worse after he had doused it in vomit

11. Diode beats CopyPat 9-1. | All Falls Down
Let's be honest: CopyPat either was going to win this entire tournament or lose in the first round. My man rhymes his ass off every time, and he did that here but wasn't crisp enough in telling the story of a woman who lost her figure after having children. Diode wrote a masculine, muscled verse about football and other masculine ideals. It read like an NFL Films entry, and I liked it because it put hair on my already-hairy chest.

Originally Posted by Diode

scrambling is gambling and in this instance it's instant in its dismantling
grimace and frown, swim move intrudes the helmet's crown
the lb passes, qb gasps and gasses, ahead no help is found
he'll have to force the football, after all..
they all fall down.

12. Mike Wrecka beats YDK 5-0. | Everything I Am
Split came in and slammed YDK's verse to the ground like an abusive father. That wasn't very nice. YDK's verse was trite and showed a regression from his better stuff from last season in the Art of Writing League, but it wasn't terrible. Mike Wrecka had a quietly good verse about lacking motivation to even be in this tournament at all and how a lack of motivation can sneak up to define you.

Originally Posted by Mike Wrecka

im broken and abrasive, hopelessly impatient,
my home life is a mess, when its supposed to be an oasis,
my homeostasis in my chromosomes are basic,
so I don't wish to participate. in all of these races,

13. Frank beats MKG 6-3. | Don't Look Down
This was a weird battle. Frank, being Frank, pushed the limits of this tournament as far as he could. One of his lines was something like 25 words long, and the stretching along with the incessant rhyming drove away the first three voters. But his verse about a fire rescue was more compelling than MKG's very basic story about the American dream. (Aside: Everyone wrote about the American dream this week.)

Originally Posted by Frank

My mothers corpse lie its black debris scorched to an ashy heap, gorgeous and ghastly she died dormant, I had to leave...
This ladder seems to be melting in the early morning 4 alarm portrait of catastrophe
The Firefighter looks over at me immorally with authority, remorselessly with apathy
And says "Don't look down..." morbidly, flames, orangey, flashy.

14. Darth Yoda beats Blanco Bishop 5-0. | See You in My Nightmares
This was the most lopsided battle of the round, which is why I'm putting it last. Darth Yoda certainly didn't tap his full potential but unleashed a very enjoyable verse with a wide variety of rhyme tactics and beautifully set phrasing about the American dream. Blanco Bishop showed a degree of promise in storytelling but was way too simple.

Originally Posted by Darth Yoda

beyond my wildest dreams, a patriarch with cigars pressed right to his cheek
tobacco scars; silently scream, foreshadowing dark climate esteem
claw your way into this american dream, bombs bursting in air
calm currents, despair. til' i can barely breathe, paraffin streams

15. kannon wins via Sound no-show. | Touch the Sky
This ranking does not reflect the exhibition match put on between kannon and Pent uP, which ended in a tie and would have been in the top three of this list had it counted. kannon wrote a verse about his grandmother's death but said he wrote two other versions. His verse was personal and polished. Pent uP's take on this topic was about hang gliding and also was very good and polished. Sound no-showed after replacing Badi Alii.

Originally Posted by kannon

Only saw her on holidays, or if family members got engaged
My grandmother... She blamed herself for us losing touch
Couldn't bring myself to tell her that I used to make excuses up
Her smile a mix of calm and worried, I held her and lied down

16. Camarac wins via Vividlyvague no-show. | We Don't Care
With Baron Mynd a.k.a. Lars using his first text rap name, Camarac, he showed off his very distinct style but didn't seem too engaged in general. He then gave up his spot to Pent uP. He wrote a decent verse about a nursing home. The approach was better than the verse. Vividlyvague has disappeared, and he no-showed after subbing in for Greed.

Originally Posted by Camarac

My colleagues cleaning up pee, everythin' stripped and washed,
when really it's me who unloaded when your relative pissed me off.
There’s meds you can sit and pop to waste time in this bitch
or better yet switch their bottles and see if they die of that shit.

TOP 5 VERSES by Certain
No one else submitted picks, so these are all mine for the moment.





5. El Pancake | Lost in the World
The American dream angle was popular this round, but no one did it with as much polish as El Pancake. His social commentary blended seamlessly into character development.

Originally Posted by El Pancake

Forewent a career as a street savant, forgot a degree
Options recede into coffee & weed, eleven A.M wake ups and sparks of a tree
in an American Dream. Detroit blues, kick the can while you walk on the street;
this saga’s a fait accompli. Faded; the ease of getting lost when you’re free
is so intoxicating you lose the rhythm to the march of your beat;
you’ll miss the target by feet. Supply and demand; what’s the market for me?
Another Special Underachiever, looking to exchange thoughts for a fee
on any topic in reach. Unskilled but headstrong, with overwrought theatrics
caught and released; a generation unfit spread across the atlas.

4. Eŋg | Dark Fantasy
Like Cormier, Eŋg presented a series of very dark images of a battlefield, doing so with lush evocation. But what really impressed me here was the rhyming.

Originally Posted by Eŋg

A brutal battlefield battered with blackened bones,
cadavers sewn with scraps of stone make up ashen homes
bereft of tone - except headless crows, ***kling, roam
in ghastly droves to scan the road for passing souls lacking hope.
Cancered molds stagger growth - babies born without a pulse:
you hear the heart. It pounds. It won’t. Its sound is false.
Wear the hardship round your throat. Metal lungs
spread the love. Shell and slug pump out the loudest choke.
Found a rope which ties my noose, didn't try to pry it loose.
Climbed it to defy the tomb, not to live but die anew.

3. trap | Drop Dead Gorgeous
Well, this is a topical tournament. And trap's verse hit the topical aspect out of the park in two ways, using a brilliant approach while also being relevant to the world at the moment.

Originally Posted by trap

fergie was rough around the edges, from her voice to her tone
she kept her emotions on her sleeve, universally known
her actions spoke louder ... her physicality, a slight flaw
she'd stand with you, never one to back down from a brawl
from all colors, creeds, and races, the attraction was evident
most try to build her up, but there's always a seedy element
they always shot in the dark, going for spots on the heart
but when daylight broke, her shine was re-freshed and over-arched
behind her checkered past was a better tomorrow
hands up, ferguson, heaven's beside you in your sorrow

2. Split | Drive Slow
I gave a gearhead a topic about cars. Split didn't disappoint. I found myself diving further into this verse than any other except the next one on this list.

Originally Posted by Split

I'm neutral- her first. She said she'd like to do stick.
Taught her to climb and then fall as you slide through the shifts.
As streetlights creep by, I can't see why each night
it seems like we fight. Maybe we don't quite mesh.
In my own passenger seat, I'm as silent as death is.
Maybe I'm picky. Or slightly irreverent. Reach for the radio knobs-
we grind into second. Reassurance is cheap- I gave her a nod.
Listen to the gnash of the cogs on the synchros instead.
She steers right down a byroad I'd honestly skip... she drives slow,
clockwork- the odometer ticks. I stop her, and drive home.

1. Soulstice | My Way Home
Everything about this verse hit what I was looking for at the start of this tournament. The fact that Soulstice managed to incorporate self-references within in a 10-line verse was very impressive, and he did such a great job creating an image.

Originally Posted by Soulstice

The sign will read "102 miles to Beaumont" - She'll turn up the music
As recursive confusion turns you to some invertebrate eunuch
Driving to uncertain conclusions - "You didn't need to do that back there"
Then she'll muss your matte-black hair - you'll make a conservative crooning
That means "Well we have to keep running - and why spare bullets?"
But she's unaware, full of thought when she says this songs means something
Between the strange kudzu trees you two thieves will keep running
She'll say that songs take you back to moments, "Have you heard this before?"
Against the future's ominous blur, you recall a time past. Perfect and pure.
You'll say "It's been a while" - but you won't be talking to her

BRACKETOLOGY by Adonis, El Pancake, oats and Certain
We'll be keeping track of these opening picks throughout the tournament with a leaderboard. The scoring will be unweighted. Blue underlines mean the person is getting credit for the reserve's success, as it didn't seem fair to not allow for reserves to count.





1. El Pancake, 14 points

His bent toward the favorites helped, and he's not relying as heavily on replacements as others. He's in good shape.




2. oats, 13 points

He had a decent-enough round, though Zen was his big second-round upset pick. He needs a lot out of Frank now.




3. Adonis, 11 points

His upset-heavy approach already has backfired, as two from his final four are eliminated.




4. Certain, 10 points

My upset-heavy bracket flopped in the first round but still has a lot of potential to climb back to the top because of unique picks.





Round 2 Preview
PREDICTIONS by Certain
You're stuck with just me this round. If you don't like it, beg evil big baby to come back. The topics are Stephen King book titles, and we're still at 10 lines before moving to 12 next round.





R. Frank vs. 8. trap | Night Shift
This should be a very interesting clash of styles. My guess is Frank knows he'll need to be a bit more fine-tuned this round, and he has longer to work on his verse. trap, meanwhile, will hope to take advantage of his more focused and crisp style against a bombastic opponent. The topic works well for both. Frank probably sees himself as the No. 1 seed regardless of what I put next to his name, but trap is a very tough No. 8 seed in this format. I think the 10-line restriction favors him. I think the topic approach will determine the winner here, though. Prediction: trap 53-47.


5. kannon vs. 13. jilti | Blood and Smoke
I'm a little less familiar with these two writers than anyone else in this tournament. kannon is coming off winning The Mic Check, our first audio topical tournament. jilti is a rising name in the battle ranks here who stunned NYCSPITZ in the first round as the only double-digit seed to advance. But that win came largely because NYCSPITZ writes very opaque verses and out-thinks himself too often. kannon is much more straight-forward in his writing style, and his polish and years of experience probably will show here. jilti needs a great approach again for another upset. Prediction: kannon 61-39.


3. Split vs. R. Cormier | Firestarter
I remember Cormier from a while back, though I don't know if I was ever in a league or tournament alongside him. He was an excellent storyteller back then and in Round 1 showed he still has a great grasp of imagery while also showing polished mechanics. He took No. 6 seed Atheist's place, and that's about where he deserves to be seeded in this tournrament. Now he faces Split, and we sort of get that old vs. new matchup that probably will define this tournament because of the high number of veterans returning for it. Split's a perfect fit for these constraints, though I like the topic for Cormier, too. Prediction: Split 54-46.


R. Orc vs. 2. Darth Yoda | It
If they show, this is my pick for battle of the round, though there isn't a weak matchup in the bunch. Orc displayed what we all knew, that his style translates very well to this format. But will he show? If I had to guess which one person would no-show this round, he'd be the pick simply because he's more committed to the battle side. Darth Yoda probably won't no-show, which means he probably will win. He's a terror when he gets motivated, but last round he seemed a bit distracted and nonchalant, not worrying about his verse's connectivity. Orc has the ability to make him pay for that. Prediction: Darth Yoda 57-43.


1. El Pancake vs. 9. Mike Wrecka | Just After Sunset
We get a grudge match! These two met in a memorable Art of Writing League contendership battle, with El Pancake making a late comeback in a matchup that featured some of Mike Wrecka's best work. So he wants his revenge now, but this 10-line format somewhat negates the importance of desire and effort. El Pancake had a very good verse last round, but he also showoed his disinterest in dramatic writing and love of the minutae. Mike Wrecka's best move here would be to get a little bombastic, but that doesn't fit his style ideally. I think El Pancake is better suited for this. Prediction: El Pancake 56-44.


5. Eŋg vs. 4. Pinot Grij | Sleepwalkers
This is my second pick for battle of the round, and it's a clash of styles to make even Frank and trap envious. Eŋg might be the most serious, grave writer here. His words hold weight because they are very carefully chosen and built off dense rhyme schemes and diction. He can be a bit vague and abstract, but he's one of the sharpest and most polished writers around. That's the only thing he shares with Pinot Grij, our humorist and storytelling ace. On the surface, this tournament wasn't going to be a good fit for a direct storyteller like Pinot Grij, but I liked his verse last round and expect him to pick it up against tougher competition. Eŋg, though, still is my pick here. Prediction: Eŋg 52-48.


R. Pent uP vs. 6. Soulstice | Different Seasons
I'd guess these two probably have met at least five times in the past, though I have no idea. The only one I know of was their Art of Writing Season 1 playoff meeting, which resulted in Pent uP's disqualification for recycling. I know he's busy with two jobs during the week, but I'm hoping he can spare the time to write 10 new lines and avoid a replay. Soulstice had my favorite verse of the first round and made me a believer in his chances to win this whole thing. But Pent uP's versatility will come into play here, as he can counter Soulstice's airiness in a wide variety of ways. This is very close. Prediction: Pent uP 51-49.


7. Diode vs. 2. oats | A Face in the Crowd
Diode is going to write about nude selfies and do a clever play on the topic as "A Face in the Cloud." oats is going to write a verse about being a Hawaiian blogger teaching in South Korea that will be very relatable to other Hawaiian bloggers teaching in South Korea but not relatable at all to anyone else. Everyone will say oats wrote better because of rhymes and language and stuff, but Diode will win for being clever and masculine. Prediction: Diode 54-46.



Two Through
CONCLUSION by Certain


Vote on the Alias Topical Tournament championship match, guys. It counts for two of your required four votes. And don't no-show. It's 10 lines.

[Inno]

Second round looks delicious

Thanks for the match cake. I will Def vote next round if allowed.

Dope mag dope tourney

[PancakeBrah]

That was a closer match than the vote say, Inno. Good stuff.

Another stellar mag. Less to work with, still the same quality. I think Yoda had a Top 5 verse but I was too lazy/didn't read enough verses to submit my rankings so who am I to talk?

Will listen to the audio at some point.

[Ghost1]

Idk wen im gonnq learn to sign up for shit certain runs

Smh

These mags

Sheesh.

[jilti]

Dope mag. and yeah, Yoda had a top 5 verse

[oats]

my bad, forgot to submit my top 5 verses. dope shit as always, Certain. gonna trash my verse about blogging in a crowded cafe in Seoul now, THANKS

[Diode]

Originally Posted by oats

my bad, forgot to submit my top 5 verses. dope shit as always, Certain. gonna trash my verse about blogging in a crowded cafe in Seoul now, THANKS

I'M KEEPING MINE THX FOR THE IDEA @Certain

[Split]

Nice, good match @MMLP

[trap]

Originally Posted by Bags

Idk wen im gonnq learn to sign up for shit certain runs

Smh

These mags

Sheesh.

Sheesh is right.

Will listen to the interview today. Excellent work.

[Orc]

This was another excellent read. I'll definitely be showing

[oats]

just got around to listening to the audio interview, which was awesome. @kannon you got a real radio friendly voice, no joke. Good sonic ping pong with the smooth butter of Certain's voice. but yeah, it was dope, I like how it was more of a legitimate interview that meandered and didn't stick to this tournament much, really enjoyed it.

[Eŋg]

great zine.

[kannon]

Originally Posted by oats

just got around to listening to the audio interview, which was awesome. @kannon you got a real radio friendly voice, no joke. Good sonic ping pong with the smooth butter of Certain's voice. but yeah, it was dope, I like how it was more of a legitimate interview that meandered and didn't stick to this tournament much, really enjoyed it.

I used to be on radio back in 08-09.

[Certain]

I think oats wants to listen to us have phone sex.

[oats]

Originally Posted by Certain

I think oats wants to listen to us have phone sex.

I wouldn't mind. Round 3 Mag?

[sral]

Originally Posted by Split

Nice, good match @MMLP

lmao i think he's pissed off that he's gone 0 and 6 in every battle he's had here